https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 21:10:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630422 Sat, 01 Oct 2016 13:11:29 +0000 gentlelunette 2630422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I agree. I don't force my daughter to hug anyone, but I will say "Want to give grandma a hug before we go?" If she doesn't, that's okay and I'll usually encourage a wave (or blowing a kiss. I don't see what's wrong with that one. Lol) but I thinking asking/suggesting it isn't wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630351 Sat, 01 Oct 2016 06:38:47 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2630351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw this posted on Facebook too but it was from someone who is very into attachment parenting. I'd personally rather kiss my grandma then go sleep in my own bed :silly: </p> <p>I think it makes a lot of sense to not put high pressure on the kids to do these things. My child is affectionate so he's pretty happy to give family members hugs and kisses but if he is uncomfortable with someone he's not close with, or just not in the mood, we wouldn't pressure him. He sat in a chair next to Santa last year, it looked kind of funny but that was clearly his comfort zone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630349 Sat, 01 Oct 2016 06:37:23 +0000 loveisstrange 2630349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm alright with letting her make decisions about everything else on that list, but she's going to give grandma a hug. My mom expects them, and it's polite. She has to learn that some things are just social expectations. Yes, you need to give your grandma a hug, just like yes, you will have to shake that gross, sweaty guys hand in that business meeting. She can't stomp her foot and say no as an adult. That being said, grandma and grandpa are the only people we expect her to hug. We have never had to "force" her.</p> <p>However, we have taught her about strangers. She knows that people are not supposed to touch her in any way she doesn't like, and if someone tries she is to come tell a trusted adult immediately. I mean.... she's 4.5, so it's a little easier for us. She understands "stranger danger" a little more now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630345 Sat, 01 Oct 2016 05:56:36 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2630345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: very much agree with that approach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630338 Sat, 01 Oct 2016 03:51:01 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2630338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can understand the not forcing physical affection but asking for it shouldn't be a problem. I was raised that its more important that there are certain important safety words that we had to respect. No means no. Stop means stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630321 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 23:42:20 +0000 808love 2630321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am pro hug because that's part of my culture and many around here BUT I agree there is a line to respect children's autonomy. (Is that the right word for this?) I think a reminder like, Give hugs! up until age 5 has been fine for us (and fine if people don't teach that either). My mom just taught my daughter Ketchup hugs where LO has to squeeze her tightly instead of a light hug as she naturally does. I kind of felt weird about that (that is close to the line, possibly crossing it for me) but we don't see my mom that often as she lives far away so I let it go. But really this is a good reminder the importance of helping LO understand and discuss how it is her body. Nobody should be touching or grabbing her without consent at this age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630279 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 20:30:32 +0000 arosebyany 2630279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: like @Anagram: said, I assume it was because he wasn't aware of how to properly clean it or being a 5 year old boy he just didn't do it. My MIL is from the "older generation" so I wouldn't be surprised if He was taking baths by himself at 3 🙄 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630278 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 20:29:11 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2630278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I thought you were supposed to pull back! (My younger siblings and my dad aren't) but they and anyone else I know who isn't have never had any health issues. We used to tell my siblings to pull back in the bath for cleaning. Oddly, someone I know who recently got it done for their kid said they did because they didn't want to risk infection when their child was potentially very old and in a senior's home and may not be getting cleaned properly. :(</p> <p>I am anti-circ, but in my head I go worst case scenario in a lot of situations and then worry about stuff. That being said, I guess the risk is pretty low. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630272 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 20:23:08 +0000 Anagram 2630272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: I don't want to veer too far off topic, but there are entire countries where men don't circumcised, and there aren't rampant issues with infection. My husband nor anyone in his family has ever had a problem with infection. I'm sure it happens, but it's rare. And many times, the infections are attributed to people trying to clean it incorrectly (never pull back foreskin, clean as you would clean a finger).</p> <p>On the other hand, two little boys in my immediate circle of mom friends' kids had reattachment after circs and had to go back in and have it redone. =( That's 2 out of 6 boys. That's a high number for my personal circle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630240 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 19:13:39 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2630240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jackiedavis87: it's interesting to hear the other side of why it may be important to get it. Did he have other issues aside from infection? I know people who have gotten it for their kids and people who haven't and feel like I don't know what a good call to make would be. If I could guarantee no health issues ever then I wouldn't. I feel like it's a hard choice to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630237 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 19:05:39 +0000 ShootingStar 2630237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I encourage my child to show affection (hugs, kisses, blowing kisses, high fives, etc.) but let's be real - he doesn't have autonomy over his body. He's a child. We decide that diapers need to be changed, clothes need to be worn, he needs to sit in a car seat, and on and on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630201 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 17:49:30 +0000 anonysquire 2630201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know there was such a thing either. We did what we thought was right for our son. And I could honestly care less what anyone else<br /> Does. But I don't like when people come on strong from either side. I guess much like every major parenting decision haha. </p> [attach=1857/16/oeca2i.338x600.image.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630192 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 17:15:28 +0000 arosebyany 2630192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess you could say my DH is pro circumcision, he was not circumcised and I guess it caused him a lot of problems as a child, he even got an infection when he was around 5ish, so he was adamant about DS being circumcised. Other than that scenario, I had no idea this was a thing lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630180 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 16:51:20 +0000 anonysquire 2630180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I didn't either until I a group attacking some friends in a crunchy group I'm in. They set up gofundmes for local circumcisions. It's kind of bizarre. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630159 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 16:09:06 +0000 Cole 2630159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can definitely see your point and I would imagine that people being militant about one idea but pro another seemingly conflicting idea can really rub people the wrong way. </p> <p>I agree with the chart you posted but we aren't militant about it. It seems like some people get upset if the child is even asked to do those things and we both ask and gently encourage but always accept no for an answer (and frequently it is no.) All this stuff with parenting where we are almost forced to choose sides is so hard and divisive and images like that one seem to exacerbated the problem in my opinion. We make the decision that's right for our family, if you ask I'll briefly explain our choice but that's it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630157 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 16:06:14 +0000 PawPrints 2630157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know there even were people who are passionately pro-circumcision I guess. (I know lots of passionately anti-circumcision and lots of people who got their sons circumcised because it just seemed like the normal thing to do).</p> <p>If my kid very clearly did not want to sit on Santa's lap then I wouldn't force her. (I can't imagine that resulting in good photos anyway!)</p> <p>I'm in favor of teaching my kid she has bodily autonomy all the time, with the only exceptions being really necessary stuff like diaper changes, doctor exams, Nose Frida, getting dressed - but I do a lot of explaining to her to help her understand when/why/how those things are going to happen to her. That helps a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-kids-they-are-in-charge-of-their-bodies#post-2630142 Fri, 30 Sep 2016 15:35:16 +0000 anonysquire 2630142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep seeing this pop up on Facebook. I agree mostly. My friend posted this and was super passionate about it. But on the same hand she's also super passionate about pro circumcision. So wondering, how do parents draw the line between teaching kids their body is theirs? Or which body parts they are in charge of? I'm all for personal choice but to me telling my child to sit on santas lap isn't as crazy as circumcision. What do you think? </p> [attach=1857/16/oec3us.600x575.image.jpeg]