https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 01:16:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824928 Fri, 25 May 2018 19:35:44 +0000 lioneyes 2824928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I downloaded a timer app on my phone, it helps when I’m cooking dinner and DS is hungry and losing his mind waiting for something to heat up. Also helps when we have to wait somewhere. We’ve been using it for like 6 months and now he’s so used to it that after like 10 seconds of it, he stops paying attention to it but also stops whining and just waits it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824868 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:51:42 +0000 wrkbrk 2824868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@polkaspots: Same. DS is 2.5 but if I don’t or can’t reapond to a request immediately* he just repeats it over and over and over and louder. It’s no good. Lol. Yesterday we went out of town and we were both trying to figure out the directions from the rental car place and DS dropped his toy car in his car seat and said MOMMY!MOM!GUIDO!!!!! (car’s name - from the Disney movie) at least 30 times in a row. I wanted to poke out my eyes with a fork. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824791 Fri, 25 May 2018 09:23:31 +0000 Anagram 2824791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@polkaspots: This is my life with my 2nd. And none of the usual tricks that work with my oldest work with my youngest. None of them. </p> <p>She's very strong willed and generally, she's going to keep going until she's in an all out tantrum, no matter what I do or say. I can feel my cortisol rising in these situations. </p> <p>Sometimes, one of the methods I read about in the "How to talk...little kids" books works. *sometimes*. Our biggest problem area is the car, because she commutes with me and we are in the car together for 2 hours a day, sometimes longer when we are in traffic. She frequently has loud meltdowns in the car over various things I can't control, and it makes for a really dangerous driving situation for me because I can feel myself getting more and more distracted from you know, the life or death task of safely maneuvering a mental contraption at high speeds on big highways around other distracted drivers.</p> <p>The technique is to say, "I want ________ too! If I could, I would give you 1,000 ________" and repeat big exaggerations like that. Or I'll make up an outlandish fantasy--Like she'll be escalating into a tantrum about wanting a snack, after she's dropped her snack all over the back of the car and has nothing left. I can't safely reach behind me to gather her dirty snacks and that's probably all the food I have in the car. So I might try "we'll get another snack when we get home", and that enrages her. And I'll try to empathize, "You really want a snack and you are so sad that you don't have a snack", and that enrages her. Meanwhile she's screaming at increasing decibels that she needs a snack, she wants a snack, she needs a snack, repeat 100x. </p> <p>So that's when I'll try "If I could, I would get a whole MOUNTAIN of snacks, and I would let you run to the mountain and eat every snack you could hold. We could fill the snack mountain with cupcakes and donuts and pretzels and popcorn. And then we could jump into the snacks and eat and eat" or some other kind of crazy thing, and then she'll finally stop screaming and start shouting about what kinds of snacks she wants on the snack mountain.</p> <p>And of course, if all else fails, I turn up the radio to drown out the screaming. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824779 Fri, 25 May 2018 08:41:44 +0000 Mrsbells 2824779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@polkaspots: my 6 year old isnt patient either but she does understand that sometimes the younger one needs attention first. I explain to her that she is the oldest and so sometimes she has to wait. What helps is giving her something to do while she waits. Sometimes its as simple as letting her help me with whatever I need to do first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824760 Fri, 25 May 2018 07:45:54 +0000 Mama Bird 2824760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That drives me crazy too! I just repeat the same thing a lot - "first dinner, then game! First dinner, then game!" and if it's really out of control, I say "I just answered your question, I'm not changing my mind," try to tune out, and stop responding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824753 Fri, 25 May 2018 07:14:23 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2824753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is two and gets clingy when he’s hangry, which means I’m even slower at getting food on the table. What’s worked for me is letting LO have a snack in the car. He’ll pick up a pear or apple, when available, from the daycare kitchen and eat that on the way home. We will talk about what’s for dinner and sometimes I can accommodate his requests. I buy time with our routine. When we get home I start dinner and then we take off shoes, wash hands all the things we have to do that really let’s him know we are home. I involve when I can in turning things on and throwing in pasta or closing cabinets. </p> <p>Same as @MamaCate: with reflecting feelings and emotion coaching. We read Calm Down Time regularly and I use the same words from the book. This may be harder with two kids, but I remove LO from the area and we will sometimes talk it out in front of a mirror while he’s being held. DH realized early on LO’s mood lifted when he could see himself. LO really responds well he knows I fully understand what he wants and how he feels about it even if it’s a no, or a “but, first” or “after.” </p> <p>For straight up patience practice I broadcast and talk through our activities. If he knows what’s coming next he’s perfectly chill. If I forget he remembers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824739 Fri, 25 May 2018 02:20:07 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2824739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: wow, really helpful suggestions! Thanks!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824729 Thu, 24 May 2018 21:35:54 +0000 MamaCate 2824729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@polkaspots: we all have days like this! Here are some things that have worked to varying degrees of success with my kids (no 6.5 and 3):<br /> -reflecting feelings: lo is looking for attention more that anything else it sounds like. I say something like “oh wow you are so excited FYI see me and play with me and you want all my attention right now, huh?” Lo usually agrees and then we can try to make a deal—“mama wants to play too but I am sooo hungry...we both want to play but we need to eat first. Mama is going to do X and then we can play! Would you like to set up the cars or watch me?”<br /> -emotion coaching: a variation of above and j think worth googling for the long version. I say something like, “oh man it is sooo frustrating when everyone needs something at the same time. You feel like you aren’t getting the attention you need. What can you do wkth your frustrated feelings?...mama likes to take deep breaths (or whatever), would you like to practice with me?”<br /> -frame patience as a skill: “it’s hard to wait...let’s practice using our waiting muscles...keep going keep going, that was great, now tell me what you need” Start with really short intervals and lots of positive reinforcement.<br /> -change the subject: if there is something that can switch gears and we can talk about while I am cooking that can help once I have validated their feelings but reiterated the limit. I do a lot of “I wonder...” “I wonder what your friends ate for lunch”, “I wonder what you want to do this weekend”</p> <p>No idea if these would work for you but just a few suggestions...good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824708 Thu, 24 May 2018 19:13:59 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2824708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Commiseration. I’m in the midst of the 2-3 transition and my husband has been out of town all week. I have a very easygoing baby thankfully, but I’m struggling with my toddler these days and it’s really tiring. I’m losing my patience with a little kid, just how??!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824706 Thu, 24 May 2018 19:09:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 2824706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Commiseration here, especially my anxiety escalating when everyone else is loudly demanding. Which is why my kids watch a tv show just about every night while I “make” dinner (“make” because most of the meals are embarrassingly half ass anyway- bagels and strawberries for dinner? Fine.). I figure the extra half hour of tv is better than 20 minutes of me losing it and yelling, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teaching-patiencesurviving-demanding-phases#post-2824704 Thu, 24 May 2018 18:54:08 +0000 polkaspots 2824704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kiddo is 5 and struggles with patience, impulse control, and the word “wait” in general. He’s probably not unique in this, so I’m curious how others have helped their kiddos learn patience?</p> <p>Some challenging times include the evening rush. He generally eats as soon as he gets off the school bus, but when I get home after picking up my younger child, I’m under pressure to get the younger child’s dinner prepped (and I’m usually pretty hungry too!)</p> <p>If we’re not rushing around trying to get everyone fed, then we’re rushing to get outside to play. He will constantly repeat his wishes (“Mommy, will you play cars with me? Mommy, play cars! Mommy! Mommy!”) and follow me, escalating in his frequency and volume. I try to explain what I need to get done (“I need to get this in the oven and then we can play while we wait for the timer!”) but he’s relentless. It doesn’t seem to have an effect. I’ve tried giving him tasks, but he gets frustrated and whiny about it, returning to his original requests. </p> <p>This happens anytime he doesn’t have my full attention and he gets particularly vocal if others are vocal (i.e. if his brother is crying, he will jump in and escalate his demands).</p> <p>It triggers my anxiety when I feel like everyone is yelling at me and demanding things and I tend to lose it and yell. It’s not the message I want to send. It’s not just the evening rush, but any time he’s not getting my full attention or getting what he wants ASAP. </p> <p>Advice? Commiserations? </p>