https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Jul 2026 17:57:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-188039 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:24:04 +0000 daniellemybelle 188039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I knew a girl in college who had a toddler who lived with her parents. She lived in the dorms, did the regular college kid thing, partying and everything. I'll admit that I really judged her for that.</p> <p>I don't know what I would do in this situation, though. I hate to say it, but honestly my first thought would probably be to explore the option of abortion with her. If she wanted to carry the pregnancy to term, I would want to help, but I wouldn't want her to shirk her responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187999 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:57:55 +0000 littlebug 187999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Lozza: If our daughter had the opportunity to go to school and advance her opportunity, I would support her and - if feasible for us - assume care of the child for a few years. I would not permanently adopt the child. But if going to school means that she'll be able to give her child a better life, then, yes, I woudl support her. If she's going off to school to party, then no. It would be something that would be heavily evaluated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187987 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:48:35 +0000 mamabolt 187987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my daughter got pregnant and chose to parent, we'd offer her help within reason, but definitely would not be willing to be the parents. She would have to be taking steps to work toward being 100% self-sufficient in order for us to continue to provide support. Of course, I'm not sure what we could do if she said she wanted to do that but then was taking advantage of us - I wouldn't want to watch my grandchild suffer either. So I can see both sides of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187955 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:23:14 +0000 Lozza 187955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd like to help any/all of my descendants have the happiest and most fulfilling lives they can, and- without knowing any of the actual circumstances- I don't necessarily fault the family for their decisions. If my daughter got pregnant and was faced with the option of living at home, caring for a child full-time, and trying to fit available school/work options in as possible, vs. taking advantage of a vocational or educational opportunity that would really help her to achieve her life goals, but wasn't compatible with full-time parenting, I think I'd support her, with a few conditions. Maybe she doesn't go across the country to her dream school and instead chooses the closest comparable program; maybe she comes home as often as feasible to help with the baby; maybe she has to take out loans and get a job(s) and figure out a way to finance her education and living expenses when she wouldn't have had to otherwise.... and I don't think she should be exempt long-term from any of the responsibilities of parenthood, but if my daughter was really driven to succeed and willing to work hard, to accept her restrictions and responsibilities, and to be grateful for her opportunities, than yeah, if it was financially and logistically possible for me to take on the bulk of the burden of child-rearing for a couple years while she invested in her future, I think I'd be ok with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187936 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:06:00 +0000 LuLu Mom 187936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess if my daughter decided she wanted to give her child up for adoption I would want to try and keep that child in family if my daughter was comfortable with it, so we could insure she was raised in a good home. If my daughter decided she wanted to raise the baby then I would make her take the majority of the responsibility, with us helping out so she could make a decent life for herself (finish school/college/ect.) However I would not on to always babysit the baby on the weekends so she could go out and party and what not, no way. She would be responsible for the child when she is not in school/at work. She would be pulling night duty and what not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187880 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:42:11 +0000 autumnlove 187880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: definitely. I should add that she wanted to keep the baby but quickly realized that babies are a lot of work!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187878 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:41:58 +0000 lilteacherbee 187878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely think there's some middle ground to these situations. I would not be fully raising our grandchild, but I do think that we'd try to help out. I could see us babysitting while our child was working or taking classes at a community college.</p> <p>I have a cousin who had her baby at 17 last year and she's no longer involved with the father. She works and takes online college classes. My cousin's grandmother and sister often take care of the baby if she's working/doing school work. In this situation, she's taking responsibility for herself and her baby, but she also knows that she can turn to her family if she needs a little help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187871 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:38:55 +0000 DillonLion 187871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would let my daughter decide if she wanted to keep the baby or not (whether that be through abortion or adoption), and then go from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187863 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:35:19 +0000 Mrs. Pen 187863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: yeah, very good point.</p> <p>I think it depends. I knew a girl who got pregnant in highschool and didn't stay with the father, she didn't feel ready to be a mom, so her parents adopted her daughter. The daughter is like 10 now and says she has two moms lol. If I had been really young, I may have done the same thing and I know my parents would have adopted my kid. But I know they would have been sorely disappointed for getting pregnant in the first place.</p> <p>As for my LO? Purely depends on circumstances, since I have a boy I would grill into him the importance of responsibility now for the girl and baby. I would probably still help out and pay for his college so he could get a job to support them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187857 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:33:08 +0000 JessicaMcB 187857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally I always find these situations where the grandparents essentially try to pass themselves off as the parents to "help" their kids to be creepy. Once the kid finds out (and they almost always do) I can't see that being good for their psychological well-being. I also think it lets the teen mother off the hook way too easily.</p> <p>My mother always told me that if you think you're woman enough to have sex then you better be woman enough to raise any babies that might result from that behavior (I was a pill baby :) ). If these girls don't want their lives "ruined" they should be keeping the nickel between their knees so to speak.</p> <p>If this happened to our daughter we would make her take full responsibility- we would help her and the baby as much as is appropriate, but she wouldn't be prancing off to a top college while we take care of our grandchild- no way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187847 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:29:44 +0000 MamaMoose 187847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's tough because I think what they did was bad for their daughter (she didn't have any consequences and wasn't forced to take responsibility for her actions) but it was probably in the best interest of their grandchild... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187845 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:28:47 +0000 heffalump 187845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is one of those situations that you just don't know what would really happen until you're in it. But I agree, I would want my LO to take responsibility and raise her own child, but I would help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/teenage-mom-situations#post-187838 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 10:24:48 +0000 autumnlove 187838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I knew a girl who had a baby the summer the after our junior year in high school. She was a honors student and her parents didn't want her life to be "ruined" so they let her be a normal teenager and she didn't have to take care of the baby. She went to a good college out of state and her parents eventually adopted her son. </p> <p>I don't think I would do the same for my LO. I would definitely help but I would want my LO to take more responsibility....maybe go to college close by and live at home, etc.</p> <p>How would you react in a situation like this? </p>