https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 15:21:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514626 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 20:29:46 +0000 Dandelion 1514626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeydew: the nursing thing is bugging me too. I'm just gonna tell ppl to leave because I don't have anywhere else to go cause I don't have a chair or anything anywhere but the livingroom. I'd go to my bedroom but my bed is so high that after a c section I know I'm not gonna want to keep having to climb up there. </p> <p>They're just gonna have to go lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514612 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 20:16:20 +0000 Honeydew 1514612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a c section and had my parents, brother and sister visit the next day. It was a bit overwhelming, from the recovery, and getting my bearings straight. My mom and dad stayed with us for 2days after we all came home. I couldn't be free to nurse in the open. I had to excuse myself to a separate room to nurse. Uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514585 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 19:54:15 +0000 Weagle 1514585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsMini: I don't know if I could have handled 12, but I did love having my parents stay with us. It was fantastic! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514512 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 19:00:23 +0000 mrsjyw 1514512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were only at the hospital for one day after DS' birth. We had my parents, his parents, my brother, my cousin who is like a lil sis to me, my aunt/uncle visit in that period (one time each). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514406 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 17:27:54 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1514406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't want anyone at home after the birth so we compromised by having people come to the hospital. Bad choice! We got zero rest and it was awful. Next time, I'll need the help with LO1 so everyone will stay at our place while we are at hospital. Now that I've had a newborn once I don't feel as bad about having people in my home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514302 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 15:49:43 +0000 MsMini 1514302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know people will think I am nuts, but I had my son (via c-section) on a Wednesday, my Parents came up on Thursday, and stayed at our house. I was discharged Friday, and we had 12 people (close family) stay at our house Saturday and Sunday. It was actually pretty awesome! Like a post baby party. Everyone was respectful when I took S to nurse, and they all shared in diapers, cooking, cleaning, and burping/cuddling duties. They were also quite respectful of letting us get our cuddles in as well. After that was all said and done they left and we didn't have anyone really bugging us for visits for several weeks. I would 100% do it again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514280 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 15:40:35 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1514280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had some of our parents friends (both mine and ILs) show up announced for DS1, it was so annoying. For DS2 I didn't allow anyone to come visit until 2 days later (and then only our parents) since I didn't want to see/talk to anyone. My advice would be to let DH be your guard dog. </p> <p>I guess the big day is coming soon, good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514255 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 15:25:58 +0000 Dandelion 1514255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@heartonastring: ours has a "nap time" from 2-4 that I'm totally gonna tell my nurse to enforce lol. I'm gonna keep those hours at home too lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514248 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 15:19:15 +0000 Dandelion 1514248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: no...luckily I've already trained her to call before coming lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514238 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 15:07:30 +0000 Dandelion 1514238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleredhairedgrl: don't even get me started on the "my baby" crap. My MIL does it with DS and my dogs and it bugs me. I plan to fix it soon. There's a lot of things that don't bother me much but that is one thing that really bothers me and I need to put an end to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514156 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 14:12:12 +0000 AmandaB8 1514156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved having visitors, but I had an easy delivery and am a huge people person. </p> <p>We also live 3 hours away, so it was just our parents for the most part. We had 2 friends come by too. The 2 weeks after were very overwhelming though - we had people there constantly! I loved having them the first 2-3 days, but wish we could have had like a week of downtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514097 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 13:39:49 +0000 bhbee 1514097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>luckily we live far away from everyone so we could totally regulate! we didn't see my mom until LO was almost 2 weeks old and the ILs until she was 3 weeks old. we loved having the privacy and learning how to be a little family together (I should note we also had an easy newborn).</p> <p>but I know that would never have flown if everyone could drive over themselves. I think you just set the rules and let everyone know. sometimes email can be helpful when I have to do those sort of things . . . easier than telling everyone in person. I have emailed my mom, my MIL, my FIL all together and just tell them "this is what DH and I decided, thank you for understanding". my MIL is the only problem person in that group but that way they know it's not directed at any one person. you also might be able to get the nurses to help you keep people out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514055 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 13:09:09 +0000 heartonastring 1514055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hospital didn't have visiting hours but I totally lied and told people they did ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1514033 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 12:47:38 +0000 bushelandapeck 1514033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't limit visitors and both DH and I wish we had. Our parents and sibs can come this time if they want to but otherwise we will be happy to see friends/family anytime after we are home. We didn't get any rest last time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513952 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 11:47:09 +0000 bunnylovesbear 1513952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the opposite camp of most people that commented here. We didn't limit visitors. We called our immediate families when I went into labor, and while my water did break, I went on to have my scheduled c-section. Our parents and most siblings were the first to meet our little one. Then, we welcomed family and friends with open arms - more often than not, we got a phone call or text before a visit, so there really weren't any surprises. And while it was a bit overwhelming one afternoon when a group of people came at the same time, we were honored and thrilled that so many of our loved ones were so excited to visit and show their support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513942 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 11:42:01 +0000 MrsH 1513942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We only had immediate family visit - they were staggered for the four days we were there. Family scheduled visits so we could space them out. We also wouldn't let anyone see her who was sick and that cut the guest list down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513939 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 11:38:12 +0000 Mae 1513939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: same. I get people are excited, but they sort of need to chill on the OMG MUST SEE RIGHT NOW. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513923 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 11:29:15 +0000 lemondrop 1513923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I made it clear the only people invited were our parents and my brother while in the hospital. Any one else was just going to have to wait a few weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513874 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 10:58:13 +0000 SweetiePie 1513874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Oh, right, I forgot that you are scheduled so can't pull the old don't-tell-anyone-I'm-in-labor trick.<br /> Well it sounds like you and DH are on the same page and I'm glad he's playing defense for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513849 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 10:45:58 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1513849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: I had a planned section with Chloe. Visitors poured in a few hours after delivery. It was my family and my ILs, and no one stayed long. It honestly didn't bother me. </p> <p>The second day, though, was a nightmare. A lot of people showed up unannounced and stuck around much longer than I liked. I hope to not repeat that again!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513838 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 10:39:26 +0000 fussygal 1513838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan to have my mom come during labor and then we'll call everyone else once she's born. Our hospital has a pretty strict 1-2 hour window for bonding/feeding post-delivery so that will be a good buffer for visitors.</p> <p>I think my MIL had originally hoped she'd be invited into the delivery room, but wasn't necessarily expecting it. Luckily, DH ran interference there and told her the real plan. We're delivering at a hospital an hour away, so other than them, SIL, and maybe DHs grandma, we probably won't have any hospital visitors. We also plan to limit visits at home for the first week or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513830 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 10:34:52 +0000 jill_a55 1513830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm worried about a parade of visitors too, but the lady giving the hospital tour made me feel a lot better. She said they in no way want you to feel overwhelmed, so just let the nurses know ahead of time or when your starting to feel like there are too many visitors and they will be the bad guys and start shuffling people out of there for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513758 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:50:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 1513758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't understand the obsession with visiting a new baby OMGRIGHTAWAY! Don't people realize that no matter how you give birth, mom is going to be exhausted and will have a tiny fragile susceptible to new germs baby who is her top priority, not you and your need to see the baby? </p> <p>Yeah, obviously I did not have a flow of visitors! Most of my family is a 4-5 hour drive away and ILs are across the country. So we let people know once I was definitely in labor (um, 14 hours after the first contractions), my one local BIL knew because he took the dog, and then we just texted people once she was born. My parents came up that day, and BIL came, and those were our only hospital visitors, which was exactly how I wanted it. </p> <p>No one visited for the first few days then we had very few visitors for the first few weeks. It was so nice to have the quiet time at home-- though tbh, having people bring food would have been nice. </p> <p>I'm glad your DH will spell it out for her. Honestly I'd rather have her be offended now than you be stressed out immediately after the birth when you should be bonding with your sweet baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513727 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:36:49 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1513727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am kinda dreading this too.. I am 23 weeks and high risk with the possibility of going pretty early and, while family has been super supportive, if we did go very early I don't know how I would feel about family coming while having to deal with nicu, etc. mostly worried about MIL who has already told me that once the baby comes she will be "around all the time" and last night when she left our apartment told me to "keep taking care of her baby" ...urgh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513722 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:33:32 +0000 luckypenny 1513722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh lord we had this really loud gay couple that are friends with MIL show up like an hour after birth...they just walked right in! It was so awkward &amp; mil was mortified so yeah....no one is coming this time. MIL can come when she brings DD after we've bonded with new baby and I've showered/cleaned up </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513710 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:28:38 +0000 Weagle 1513710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I let DH handle all visitors. We don't live near family, so we were able to plan that because of flights and whatnot. Still, he handled everyone related to him. As far as friends, we made it clear for people to check with DH before coming over, and we would either say come on or tell them another time. Once we got home, I ended up really wanting to see friends, but I can definitely see how that wouldn't be the case if they weren't respectful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513679 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:10:52 +0000 wonderstruck 1513679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Glad to hear your DH is going to spell it out to her, definitely seems that it's necessary! The hospital was a mess for us - I thought I'd be thrilled to have visitors, but being awake for over 24 hours dealing with all the newborn stuff, and every time I thought I was finally going to get some rest, having more visitors stream in? Ughhhh! I won't be making that mistake next time!</p> <p>Is your MIL the type to just drop by without calling beforehand? If so, I've found that you can fix that fast by just not answering the door! This happened to us a few times when I wasn't ready for company, and I just ignored the door then called later to say sorry we missed her, but I was napping/nursing/showering/whatever, and encouraged her to call next time so that we would be expecting company. </p> <p>Could you maybe setup a day in the future where you can go to the ILs house for lunch or something and she can invite over some friends that want to see the baby? That way you're not stuck at home with visitors you feel awkward about telling to leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513658 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:00:15 +0000 Dandelion 1513658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I could not tell until after baby is born, but since it's scheduled, my parents and inlaws know the day he's coming. I haven't shared it with the whole world, though.</p> <p>DH made me feel better. He said he'll let MIL know that it's only parents in the hospital and maybe a couple of my close friends. He says he shouldn't have to tell her, but he acknowledges that some times she just gets excited and doesn't think things through.</p> <p>It'll be a little tougher at home, but I'll still tell her that I need visitors limited...and definitely not her friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513648 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:53:33 +0000 SweetiePie 1513648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice since I'm not there quite yet (I'm only 13 weeks), but it's something I'm dreading as well!<br /> We plan on not telling anyone we're in labor until baby is born! Except my parents since they're a plane ride away anyway...they probably won't be there till a day or two after. And even then we are putting them in a hotel nearby.<br /> But my ILs? Ummm no. They aren't coming until the day after and we're also limiting visitors. They aren't allowed to bring anyone, and DH and I will each get to invite one best friend and their spouse.<br /> I really don't know how some of our friends just invited everyone they knew to come to the hospital. </p> <p>As for home after the hospital...I'm dreading that almost more. I think my MIL will be persistent about coming daily and helping but I really don't want her to! I am a loner and I like my space. I hate being fussed over and when I want to be alone and I'm not, I'm a huge bitch! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-about-your-visitors-after-birth#post-1513633 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:40:24 +0000 junebugmama 1513633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We kept hospital visitors limited by not telling people (immediate family) that I was having the baby until I was pushing. I also let the hospital patrol visitors. I told them who was ok, and who wasn't. When people came, they would ask before they let them in. They told visitors that I was having something done, or that I was resting. </p> <p>Once we got home, my bff set up a meal train. It's an online calendar that allows for people to sign up to bring dinner on a specific day. She posted it on fb and said that's how we were managing only one set of visitors per day. It was great. Everyone that did come, brought us food, and we were only dealing with 2 people a day essentially, and only people who would feel comfortable enough to sit down to a meal with us in our home. Plus I didn't cook for easily a month! </p>