https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 25 Jun 2026 05:13:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662853 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 12:50:42 +0000 turquoisemama 2662853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Yeah, that's hard. It's jus such a huge life change. Soon you will get into a groove and all this craziness will be behind you. And you'll be like "hm maybe I could do this again..." :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662767 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:47:50 +0000 pachamama 2662767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Newborns honestly are tough!! I literally could NOT see my way out of my funk. I was MISERABLE and felt so much pressure "ohhhhh are you so happy? They're only this tiny once!" I thought I would never enjoy life again. I think the biologic component profoundly affects us post-natal also. Once the night-sweats stopped and my milk regulated (prob 8 weeks) I really started to feel better.<br /> Life won't be the same and it might not be perfect but you WILL get better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662757 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:27:49 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2662757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I'm so glad that you decided to see someone. My biggest regret with my second was that I didn't seek help earlier. It was nearly a year before I decided that my anxiety was completely out of control and I needed to see someone about it. I'm now on an anti-anxiety medication and though I'm still tired from my boys not sleeping, I am so much more even keel and love my time with them. I'm seriously kicking myself for not doing this earlier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662753 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 10:22:43 +0000 Goldengirl 2662753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I think it's definitely safe to say I'm not enjoying newborn life. I'm still not feeling great but I'm seeing my GP tomorrow and also seeing a psychiatrist next week at my hospital's postpartum clinic so I feel I'm doing everything right... just want to press the fast forward button and feel better.</p> <p>@turquoisemama: I can't wait for all those things! Right now he can't even make eye contact with me :silly: And unfortunately I can't classify him as an easy baby... I think that's what adds to how I'm feeling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662654 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 05:23:22 +0000 turquoisemama 2662654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Oh lord yes! I had the hardest time in the beginning. And my daughter was pretty easy as far as newborns go. I was in such despair feeling like my life was over. It got better over the first year but after she turned one it's been flying by and she is such a sweetheart. I didn't bond that well at first, but we are BFFs now. I stay at hmy me with her and we have so much fun. I tell all my pregnant friends, there's going to be a period where you're like "WTF did I do?!" It will pass!! It gets so so so so So much better!! You will always have more responsibility than before but it will come with smiles, snuggles, "I love you Mama" and all that wonderful stuff you dreamed about while you were pregnant. it gets better!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662578 Wed, 07 Dec 2016 20:16:23 +0000 pachamama 2662578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: how are you feeling?? I could have written exactly what you wrote. I struggled terribly for about 2-3 months with post partum. My son is 11 months and I'm realizing ya know what? I really really just did not enjoy the infant period. And that's ok. Once he started crawling and trying to talk, I can't tell you how much better things got. I needed some interaction from him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662530 Wed, 07 Dec 2016 17:24:05 +0000 Goldengirl 2662530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: This sounds really similar to my experience now... it's rough. We're trying to get the reflux under control but I'm so exhausted and moody that it's hard for me to even focus on it or make any decisions. We've had a night nurse helping out for a few nights which has been hugely helpful in allowing me to function during the day. But I'm still so irritable and frustrated and angry and feel out of touch with everything going on, so I know something is off beyond the sleep deprivation. I'll likely be starting on some meds soon and see if that helps. I emailed my doctor pretty much straight away when I realized what was going on and luckily she's taking it very seriously.</p> <p>@ElbieKay: I currently have that feeling of "I could never have a second"... I can't even imagine it, or ever getting to that point. I know it gets better though because literally every single person has told me it does. I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard, and sometimes it almost makes me feel worse when I feel like I'm wishing the days away... which honestly, is what I'm doing right now. I just want to get over this rough period. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662487 Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:52:14 +0000 ElbieKay 2662487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I had known when my son was born that I would eventually find him to be amazing, and that I would eventually enjoy parenting. It would have made everything a lot easier if I'd had faith it would get better. Everyone is different, but please know that the odds are high that eventually you will think your child is awesome even if your life feels out of control right now.</p> <p>It's really hard. Honestly, I did not really start to turn the corner until my son started to crawl at 7.5 months. The first few months were consumed with sleep deprivation and breastfeeding challenges. Then I had to adjust back to work (while still sleep deprived and pumping). Then there was the four-month sleep regression. And then at around 6mo we had a terrible vacation where my son was super demanding. (My husband and I were convinced we would never enjoy a vacation again!) In hindsight, I think my son was frustrated that he could not get around on his own.</p> <p>Once he started crawling, he was a little better at entertaining himself. And I remember 10mo being a fun age. Just really smiley and interested in everything. Then he started walking. And talking. And that is when, for me, it really started to get fun.</p> <p>When I was pregnant, I expected that I would love having a cuddly newborn, and that a toddler would drive me crazy. It turns out that I love having a toddler (and generally I think I just find it easier to relate to people who are verbal!), and found the demands of a newborn to be incredibly overwhelming.</p> <p>I always wanted to have a second child until I had my first one. Then it took over a year and a half for me to even consider having a second one. (Now I am trying for a second and struggling since it's taking awhile.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662295 Wed, 07 Dec 2016 08:53:39 +0000 MrsADS 2662295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@goldengirl I see others have chimed in to say (1) it's expected and (2) get help and you said you are, so I don't really have too much else to say except sounds like you're definitely doing the right thing.</p> <p>Looking back I really should have talked to my OB. I have taken antidepressants in the past (like 10 years ago) and I am sure a small dose of one would have helped me a lot. I was a wreck. For me, it got tiny increments better when I would get a little sleep but not substantially better. My son had awful reflux, colic, and never slept. He cried all day and all night. I cried all day and all night. I didn't talk to my OB because I was afraid they would tell me to stop breastfeeding in order for me to take anything, and my son had several bad food intolerances and if I wasn't nursing the only alternative was Neocate formula which he refused to drink. Now, I know that some nursing moms can take antidepressants. </p> <p>So in hindsight, I would definitely say something earlier rather than later and if I have another baby I will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2662282 Wed, 07 Dec 2016 08:28:23 +0000 chibee 2662282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: it lasted more than 2 weeks for me - I think I didn't start feeling back to myself until at least 8-9 weeks post partum when my baby's sleep lengthened. I had a really rough time and it peaked when he was 5 weeks old then it just slowly (very slowly) got better until one day I sat down and realized I finally felt like myself again. So it does get better, for sure! Just take it day by day, go into survival mode, and one day you'll look back at this and give someone else who's having a hard time the same advice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2661847 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 08:10:19 +0000 Goldengirl 2661847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Plainpistachio: I've struggled a lot but it looks like I'm likely dealing with more than the baby blues. Have been getting some help and will be seeing my doctor to discuss a long term plan. But don't let that scare you, because from my understanding most mom's suffer from baby blues but it passes by 2 weeks. How are you feeling? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2661812 Tue, 06 Dec 2016 02:04:50 +0000 Plainpistachio 2661812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@goldengirl I'm glad I read this board because now that I'm 1 week PP I am feeling the same way! How are you doing now? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653213 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:23:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2653213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: it is hard in the beginning. If you don't start getting better or you feel it is more severe than you can wait out please seek out help. I had PPD/A with my first and it was so so difficult. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653202 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:06:12 +0000 skipra 2653202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Having a baby is HARD! I had baby blues with my first two, maybe PPD but never diagnosed. My third is 2 months and somehow the baby blues have stayed away this time. The only difference is I'm taking Vitamin D this time. My levels were super low when tested at the beginning of my last pregnancy (never tested before then) and Dr. Google says vitamin D deficiency may be linked with depression. I'm not a doctor to say if it is linked, but I have noticed such a huge difference that I would recommend getting your levels checked. And talk to your nurse or doctor about it too. You should see if they have any other suggestions. Also, getting out of the house and seeing people can be a major boost. Hang in there and I hope you start to feel better soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653183 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 14:36:11 +0000 JLC53 2653183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Oh girl... I struggled very badly with the baby blues... still do sometimes and my LO is 9 months old. I mourned by pre-baby life very badly and missed my alone time with my husband. It does get better, I wouldn't say easier, but better. </p> <p>Someone told me this when I was going through the worse of it and it stuck with me. I would count down the days until the next big date. 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 6 months and 1 year it gets a little better at each. And honestly for me it did. 3 weeks I was usually getting 4 hours straight of sleep a night - which once you get you feel like a new women. 6 weeks, I become more confident in myself. 12 weeks, I felt like I could handle everything. 6 months I felt like myself again, and I will tell you when I get to a year how it goes...</p> <p>You can do this!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653145 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 13:50:05 +0000 SweetiePie 2653145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kitkat: Amen to the new moms group! I joined one when LO was 5 weeks old and it felt so good to know I wasn't alone in some of the thoughts and feelings I was having. We had 10 new moms and all but 1 felt many of the same feelings @Goldengirl: mentioned in her original post. The "this will never end I ruined my life" feelings were spot on for 9/10 of the women. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653143 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 13:49:19 +0000 snowjewelz 2653143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It does get better! Dude, I feel like the whole first year was a fog. Now DD1 is almost 2, and I'm about to have #2, I'm all like oh yeah, it wasn't that bad! But when I really think back, oh for sure there were days and nights were I just felt hopeless and cried and cried! Hang in there mama :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653092 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 12:28:09 +0000 Goldengirl 2653092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks girls! It's helpful to know others have been through it and survived. I will definitely seek help of it goes on for too long but one week in I feel it's too early to really know. A huge part is just the lack of sleep.. I've always been one of those who needs tons of sleep so to suddenly just be getting an hour here and there has been a huge shock to my system. My parents have been a huge help but there's only so much they can do... wish they could take him every night but not possible! And my husband has been great too. It's just a huge adjustment. I knew it would be but wasn't necessarily prepared for how much it would take a toll on my body and mind. Looking forward to better days soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653083 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 12:02:44 +0000 BabyTsMom 2653083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree- I was blindsided by the newborn phase and so mad that no one told me how hard it was! Then, when I started vocalizing how miserable I was, people started to be more real with me. I came to realize that most people I know definitely experience some form of baby blues, and for most people it will subside within about 6 weeks.<br /> For me, I knew very early on that my "baby blues" was something more serious. When I tried telling friends and family about it, they'd dismiss it as baby blues. Eventually I just decided to seek help for myself. Just talking to someone made a lot of difference but I did end up taking medication for PPA. I'm so glad I did.<br /> Your feelings are totally valid, and it's ok to admit that you're having a hard time! It gets better- I know that's not easy to get right now, but it really does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653082 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 12:01:48 +0000 Bluebonnet 2653082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It gets so much better. I had a really hard time at first too. I realized I have high sleep needs after LO was born and I struggled so much not having any control over if or when I would sleep again.</p> <p>Do what you need to do to get through this phase. Do you have family that could help? If not, consider getting a postpartum baby nurse (they will help you be a more confident Mom).</p> <p>Ask for and accept help (meals, help with laundry, etc).</p> <p>Ask DH for help. I was having trouble shutting my brain off to sleep. He stepped up and made sure I got an uninterrupted chunk of time to sleep. I would hand off LO right after feeding and I'd go to bed. He would "be in charge" and would wake me when LO needed to eat again. Knowing I would get some time to sleep made the biggest difference to my mental and physical health. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653077 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:51:40 +0000 Kitkat 2653077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My baby is 5 weeks old and I also had bad baby blues in the beginning. I was worried it was PPD, but after about 10 days I felt so much better. I felt a lot of what you're describing...mainly thinking "OMG, this is forever" and that I'd never sleep again. More than once I was sobbing in the middle of the night asking my husband why we did this. </p> <p>I don't know if you have family close, but what really helped was having my mom come over during the day and hold the baby while I slept. I also started pumping so my husband could give the baby a bottle once overnight and I could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Finally, I started going to a new moms support group. It helps getting out of the house and sharing stories/getting advice from moms going through the same things. </p> <p>Also, regarding sleep...DS is down to 2-3 wake ups per night. My husband takes the first one, so I'm only getting up once or twice. It gets better! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653061 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:35:05 +0000 Mrsbells 2653061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Hang in there it does get better. The hormones do make you feel high and low. It wont always be like this.But if you continue to feel so low do talk to your OB about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653060 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:33:51 +0000 MrsSCB 2653060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The beginning was so, so hard. I felt all of those things, you are not alone. I cried every day. When my husband asked what was wrong, I said, "Nothing. Everything." I was totally blindsided by his overwhelming it was. BUT. My son is three months old now and it is SO much better. He's smiling, laughing, developing his own personality. I remember when people said, "it gets better" I thought three months seemed soooo far away, but the time really does go so fast. In the first days, I was seriously reconsidering having more than one child, but now that I know how fast those early days go, I'm back to wanting more. You'll be ok, I promise. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653056 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:25:17 +0000 Cherrybee 2653056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It gets better, I promise. It gets wonderful. But those early days are brutal. I did have horrible PPA which blighted the first 2yrs of my oldest's life, but even that got better with therapy. I was well with my second but it was still super tough - it got better around 6 weeks. Big hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653053 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:24:24 +0000 SweetiePie 2653053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your entire first paragraph I could have written word for word (and probably did).<br /> My advice is that if you feel the same way after 3 weeks PP, mention it to your Ped or OBGYN. I felt that way and a lot of it was the initial hormone crash and MANY feel way better after 3 weeks or so PP. I did not and wish I had done something to help myself sooner. I was never severely depressed or anxious but I was unhappy and felt like I was in a rut. I waited till 3-4 months PP and as soon as a i saw a therapist and event started taking some vitamins/supplements I felt immensely better. </p> <p>And now, I know that this is far off for you, but he is 2 and life is just so full of joy. Every month got better and better for me after he was born but now I can actually see why people have a 2nd one. You look back at the hard times and realize that it's all worth it and it's a foggy distant memory. You'll be ok. It does get better. It happens at different speeds for everyone, but it DOES get easier. You'll sleep again. You'll have a social life. You'll see LO smile for the first time and you'll finally feel some reciprocation. Your conversations with your SO will start to go back to normal topics that aren't baby.<br /> You will be ok and even better than ok. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653040 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:03:06 +0000 Mama Bird 2653040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it does get better. Only it takes time. It's going to take a few weeks just to recover physically, find a new routine, and get baby to sleep on a more reasonable schedule.</p> <p>This might be counter intuitive, but make taking care of yourself a priority. If the baby cries for five minutes while you grab a bite to eat, he'll be fine and you'll feel stronger. And that feeling that you've no idea what you're doing will go away before you know it. And if you feel like it's been a while but things are not getting better, look for help - maybe support from your OB, maybe help with the daily grind, maybe both... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2653033 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 10:51:47 +0000 Trailmix 2653033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It gets better. So so so much better. Big hugs to you, the shock and transition of a newborn are not easy for anyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2652987 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 09:57:02 +0000 catlady 2652987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it absolutely gets better. I agree that people don't talk enough about how hard it is to bring home a new baby. I think some people end up with relatively easy situations, where their baby sleeps alot and they have lots of family help, etc. In my case, my baby did not sleep, she cluster fed every hour for like the first 3 weeks straight, she was super cranky, and my family's idea of "help" was to hold her when she was sleeping and leave when she woke up and cried. I was an absolute wreck, not to mention I went through some serious mama bear stuff where I started to get seriously angry if anyone other than DH asked to hold the baby. I was on the lookout for PPD, but in retrospect, I think I had PPA instead which went untreated. Definitely keep assessing yourself for issues like that. But in the first couple weeks, it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed.</p> <p>I feel like things got better in stages for us. We got into a rhythm after maybe a week or two, she started sleeping a bit better, I got more confident. We went through some setbacks (MSPI, sleep regressions) and I definitely felt at times like we were looking into a black hole. But I distinctly remember when she was 5 or 6 months old suddenly realizing that life was pretty good again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2652980 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 09:53:31 +0000 ShootingStar 2652980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything is a phase. Remember that when things get tough. Make sure to sleep when the baby sleeps, no matter what around the house needs to get done. Things will get easier and having a baby will become your new normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better#post-2652971 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 09:47:17 +0000 MrsKoala 2652971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first two weeks are the hardest. If you don't feel generally improved after a month, I'd suggest talking to your OB. </p>