https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 12:34:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2874341 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 13:59:42 +0000 YogiRunner 2874341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: SAME. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2874321 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 12:48:30 +0000 PurplePumps 2874321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YogiRunner: ugh, he only slept 25 minutes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2874307 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:49:06 +0000 YogiRunner 2874307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: Mine just went down for his second too! We're usually out and about in the carseat by now but I'm determined to get him to sleep for longer than 30 min in his crib... so we'll see. It sounds like you're finding your baby's awake time sweet spot! The 55 minute nap seems like great progress. Stay sleeping, kiddo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2874306 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 11:43:01 +0000 PurplePumps 2874306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YogiRunner: He naps are 35-45 minutes usually. 60-70 sometimes if I sleep with him. I tried shorter awake times all last week, I went to put him down after just an hour and he'd just fight it and cry for about 20-30 minutes, and then sleep his usual 35 minutes. Today, I'm trying for longer awake time and cutting down from 4 to 3 naps. I was aiming for 2 hours max, but he gets cranky and tired after about 1.5 hours, and then goes right to sleep for his nap. He did 55 minutes his first nap today (with me). And he just went down for his second on his own, so i'll have to see how long this one lasts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2874298 Thu, 28 Feb 2019 10:50:04 +0000 YogiRunner 2874298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: how’s it going with your little one? Our 4.5 month old has absolute crap naps in the crib (30 min max) and the second half of the night takes foreverrrrr to get back to sleep after each of his wakings (usually 12:30, 3am, then 4:30am). So we’ll probably need some sleep training soon ourselves!</p> <p>Did you try shorter awake times during the day yet? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872696 Mon, 18 Feb 2019 15:35:11 +0000 crazydoglady 2872696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: thanks! just walled you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872673 Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:32:23 +0000 SweetiePie 2872673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: definitely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872672 Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:21:43 +0000 Foodnerd81 2872672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That’s definitely waking up at the end of every sleep cycle- I remember that phase with my older daughter very well (I had actually blocked it from my memory until I read this and it came rushing back!). </p> <p>For us, we had been rocking or nursing to sleep before that, so I had to teach her to fall asleep on her own. And for us, that meant cry it out. Ferber checks only made her worse so we did extinction and it was only a couple of bad nights. I still went in and fed her insuring the night, but set a time likit- like first she had to fall asleep on her own, then I wouldn’t go in before ten, or midnight, or whatever. Once she started staying asleep between sleep cycles the wake ups gradually lessened. And I personally tackled naps later on, which did mean I often just held her for naps during this time so she wouldn’t get totally overtired, but for other people I know it works better to deal with it all at once. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872667 Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:11:48 +0000 crazydoglady 2872667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: May I wall you and pick your brain a little bit? My 5 month old is giving me a run for my money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872666 Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:06:05 +0000 Mrs. Pajamas 2872666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: i totally agree with @SweetiePie: re: short wake times. I wasn't as strict with DD1 but with DD2 she did only 45-1 hr wake times until like 8 months. It blew my mind but it was so successful and she slept so much which was awesome! it's worth a try for sure. And re: the nighttime sleep, so so sorry you are having a rough time. the 4 month regression is the pits. Stay strong and stick with whatever you decide to do and sleep will improve. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872567 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 18:11:59 +0000 periwinklebee 2872567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: For sleepy but awake, we did not do much of the Ferber method of leaving the room and coming back for checks every so often. I probably would have done that, but my husband really doesn't like it when DS gets hysterical. </p> <p>So we tried singing to him instead. Maybe idiosyncratic to my kid, in that he loves music, but it worked. He fussed some at first, but got used to going asleep in his crib that way fairly quickly. </p> <p>This was around 5 months. Before that sleepy but awake seemed unattainable, and I honestly do not think he would have done it as a newborn (he was a majorly crappy sleeper) but by that time he was ready. </p> <p>At over a year, he still wants me to be in the room as he falls asleep in his crib. But doesn't have to be sung to now to fall asleep... I'm sure we could CIO train him to fall asleep with me not in the room, but I haven't had the heart to do that lately and it doesn't take that long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872535 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 14:28:37 +0000 SweetiePie 2872535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: omg TOTALLY normal! Everyone says all babies are different and when you read that stuff it usually means that’s the MAX they should spend awake. Some babies are higher sleep needs. Mine both were and for my first I also didn’t know this and he was so overtired all the time becuase I thought he should be spending more time awake. Once my doc told me to throw any suggested time awake out the window and look at what HE was telling me, it was a new baby.<br /> ETA: even close to around 4 months sometimes he couldn’t do more than 45 mins awake! I think a lot depended on each day - growth spurts, if he had a lot of stimulation, etc. Don’t ever be afraid to put them down TOO early. The worst that will happen is you’ll see it’s too early and you can leave him to eventually fall asleep OR get him out and try again in 10-15 mins. But if you keep him up too long, you get to the overtired and wired cycle and that can’t really be undone. Being conservative on awake time is the way to go.<br /> You’ll learn in this first year that it’s good to read about the “textbook” scenarios and be aware of them. But there’s so much trial and error and trying to figure out if your baby is the textbook or maybe the outlier (high or low sleep needs). The same will go with food, behavior, etc. </p> <p>If he’s bucking and screaming when it’s time to sleep and it’s not just a brief “blow some steam off” thing, it sounds like overtired. Which also doesn’t help the nighttime connecting sleep cycles. It’s all a vicious cycle. Sleep begets sleep is so true at this age, for the most part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872534 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 14:08:05 +0000 PurplePumps 2872534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Wow! really? I keep reading that baby should be able to be up for 1.5-2 hours between naps now. He does usually get sleepy like 1hr15-1hr30, sometimes as soon as an hour (usually I thought it's from a short nap), and thought it was super short. It's good to hear that it is 'normal' to not be able to make it to 2 hours at this age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872529 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 13:44:06 +0000 SweetiePie 2872529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: agree with everything in your 2nd paragraph - drowsy but awake may seem like a myth, but if you don’t do it from day 1 it is something that has to be learned and the only way to learn is to do it over and over. It may feel like you’re banging your head against a wall but it will eventually click. You have to do it for every nap and bedtime and night waking. Night can be harder since they might fall asleep during the feed, but if you’re doing it majority of other times, it should be ok. It seems so much easier sometimes to just go ahead and rock or feed to sleep, but I promise that is just putting a bandaid on the situation. Unless you truly enjoy it, it’s not a good long term solution. </p> <p>And also yes to the fussing and sometimes screaming. My 2nd (1yo) mostly goes down quietly but maybe once a day or so he’ll fuss or even full on sob when I first lay him down, but usually by the time I walk to the kitchen he’s done and already nodding off or at least quietly reflecting on life 😂 I think he occasionally has to blow off a few seconds of steam before settling. I always have to warn anyone babysitting of this because they will naturally want to pick him back up. </p> <p>@PurplePumps: I would also suggest that you could try shorter wake times. It sounds crazy but my babies absolutely could not go more than like an hour to 1h15m awake for a loooong time. Definitely still at 4.5 months the max was 1h15min. Some “sleepy” signs are actually signs that you’re too late to put them down. I would try to beat those signs. Like if you notice after a day or two of watching the clock that at 1h15 is when your babe shows sleepy signs, I would make sure he is in the bed before that. Like at 1h go back and change diaper so that they are in the bed by 1h5m. </p> <p>I know first hand how overwhelming all of this sleep stuff can be. Feel free to wall me. I was so frustrated when my first was a baby, I basically made it a mission to learn all things sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872526 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 13:35:59 +0000 JJ2626 2872526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did CIO after about a week of hourly wakings at 4.5 months. Before that, she was only waking 1-2 times per night. She was sleeping 12 hours straight after about 5 nights and has every night since. That said, sleep training is personal and different things work for different babies and families! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872524 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 13:31:43 +0000 SweetCaroline 2872524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: Based on her sleep the past few days, have you considered getting her ears checked? My DD had her first ear infection at 4 months and her sleep went to crap overnight. I realize sleep has not been optimal for your DD for a while, but given the recent decline, I'd get an ear check.</p> <p>ETA: Sorry, just saw DS not DD! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872519 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 13:08:44 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2872519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally don't believe in any one particular method of sleep "training." I think there's no one size fits all. </p> <p>I do think trying over and over to get the sleepy but awake put down to bed pays dividends! That, and learning to let them fuss a little. My youngest will sometimes SCREAM when put down. When she first starts you wouldn't guess that she habitually will do that for less than ten seconds. Sometimes you have to just try out different things for a bit and see if they work and not get too caught up in the worry that they won't. That was definitely me with my first baby.</p> <p>I also think there are stages like this you just have to get through. Take all the help you can get, including the paid stuff, and have faith that it will get better. For me the dread of the problem was often worse than the problem itself. I don't know if that applies at all to you but just know it does get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872500 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 10:48:04 +0000 LCTBQE 2872500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I didn't get alerted that you tagged me in this because I hadn't commented on the thread yet ! but yes @PurplePumps: we did just sleep train our girl (at 5 months), we also sleep trained our son at 4.5 months, and at least for us, I'm quite certain, to answer your original post question, that it would not have gotten better without sleep training. we did pure extinction CIO and it worked in 3 nights for my son, which I think is pretty typical. Our daughter was a lot tougher and we had a major setback last week when she got super sick with RSV and broke her first tooth at the same time. we'll have to re-train when she's all better, but for me the difference is happy family vs depressed/angry/not functioning family. </p> <p>Be aware whichever method you go with that extinction bursts do happen--this is when everything seems like it's getting marginally better and then night 5 (or whatever) is FROM HELL. push through it and you will be rewarded, for real. hang in there, this is the hardest part! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872496 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 10:30:33 +0000 PurplePumps 2872496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, his sleep wasn't all that great even before, 2.5-3 hrs... occasionally a little longer. But that was semi manageable.<br /> I gave in and tried cosleeping 2 nights ago.... the only difference it made was that he woke up screaming in my ear. Even if I caught him before an all out cry, I couldn't just rock him back to sleep in place. :sad:<br /> We've tried putting him down awake and sleepy and he fell asleep once like that. Typically he'll coo and touch the sides of the pnp, and then when he gets tired, he'll cry. Same for naps, I catch him when he shows signs of sleepy, but instead of just falling asleep, he screams and bucks around like a wild bull 90% of the time.<br /> We actually did start a method of sleep training (one of us would sit with him until he fell asleep in the bed - he was used to being nursed or rocked to sleep with a pacifier) about a week ago (when we thought 2 hours was awful), and it went well for 2 nights (we got 3 hrs stretches), and then totally backfired, that's when the 1 hr stretches started. But he lost his voice from it, so I didn't want to continue with so much crying! I can't stand that he hasnt coo-ed and laughed outloud in a week!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872492 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 10:13:50 +0000 DesertDreams88 2872492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleeeep train using a method that works for you. IMHO if it's been a month, it's not getting better on its own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872469 Sun, 17 Feb 2019 02:42:07 +0000 ChitownRo 2872469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not to be a downer... but the q45 minute wakings continued for about 2 months for us (starting at 3.5mo). We tried Ferber at one point for a week around 5 months old (but he couldn’t yet replace paci..:his crying never improved). It’s finally better now that he can replace the pacifier himself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872464 Sat, 16 Feb 2019 23:49:14 +0000 ALV91711 2872464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS2 is 5.5 months and the 4 month sleep regression was terrible but unfortunately it sounds like you have it worse. I did sleep training right at 4 months to help teach him to go to sleep and it did work. We didn’t do anything for night and finally this week it is starting to improve but I know we have to do sleep training for even better. </p> <p>If I were in your shoes I’d do sleep training and get the wake ups down to a couple at least. </p> <p>Sending lots of hugs your way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872462 Sat, 16 Feb 2019 22:43:32 +0000 periwinklebee 2872462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That definitely sounds like waking up at the end of every sleep cycle :heart: </p> <p>Sounds like some sleep training is necessary. But it doesn't have to be extreme. Work on sleepy but awake at bedtime, and that should help. If it doesn't, then try CIO for any wakeup within three hours of bedtime. Usually that's enough to teach them how to connect sleep cycles. He may still wake up to eat if he's accustomed to it, but it won't be every hour... </p> <p>I found precious little sleep a helpful resource for this... I know it's hard to find the energy to read anything, but the relevant parts are fairly brief.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872458 Sat, 16 Feb 2019 22:14:58 +0000 bhbee 2872458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that’s rough. That age is a pretty common sleep regression. We were getting some 5-7 hour stretches before that and since then (she’s 6m now) it’s back to 3-4, when she wants to eat (even though I don’t think she needs to). But obviously that is nothing compared to what you are dealing with!!</p> <p>From the timing it sounds like he’s not connecting sleep cycles and a little sleep training might help. I’ve only done nap training so far with this baby but I was impressed how quickly it helped with really minimal crying. Total STTN may be harder (more crying to achieve - we did total extinction with my second) but I bet you could get to longer stretches at least. There’s no perfect approach to sleep training but I’d try to tough it out some and see what happens. </p> <p>If you don’t want to sleep train another alternative may be co sleeping. It’s another thing to break later obviously but some babies are very comforted by it and will sleep much longer stretches which may help you regain your sanity in the short term and re evaluate your options at that point. Just throwing it out there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872457 Sat, 16 Feb 2019 22:07:13 +0000 SweetiePie 2872457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like the 4 month sleep regression gone wild. You will likely have to sleep train out of it at this point if it’s already been a month. Typically if there are already good habits and you don’t introduce any new habits, it should only last a week, maybe two, then slowly settle back into whatever was happening before the regression (for example 1-2 wakeups a night). If it’s been going on that long it might be because new habits were formed and the quickest way to break them is sleep training.<br /> You don’t have to have bad sleep for another month, 6 months, year, etc. Sleep train, get some rest, be happy :-)<br /> Actually @lctbqe: just went through the 4mo regression and sleep trained out of it. She’s now sleeping 12 hours. 😴 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-it-gets-better-1#post-2872452 Sat, 16 Feb 2019 21:48:19 +0000 PurplePumps 2872452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4.5 month old has been waking every 1.5-2 hrs since 3.5 months. The past few days, he's been waking up every #*$(@#$&amp;@ hour and taking 10 minutes to get settled back down. I can just about set my watch to it, every 46-49 minutes, he's up screaming. All. Night. From the time we put him down at 7pm till he is up for the day at 630. What gives!? His naps are exactly the same time also, 4x a day. Did anyone have it this bad overnight and did you have to sleep train or anything to make it improve, or did they just grow out of it? </p>