https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 11:16:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom/page/2#post-1932699 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 13:38:46 +0000 sunny 1932699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom WOH but we had my grandmother living with us so we were never in daycare. I think that had its pros and cons. I loved spending that much time with my grandmother but I think having some more social time with friends would have been good for my development.</p> <p>My mom and dad always showed up to all of my after school events (they didn't do during school events though) and they drove me to various lessons like piano/swimming/etc. </p> <p>I think the biggest thing I didn't like was that because there was no school provided transportation starting at age 10 and you were expected to take public transit, my mom insisted on picking me up. So I had to wait around for 1 hour after school for my mom to come get me and I hated that. As an adult now, I realize what a big challenge it was for her, but as a pre-teen I hated it. </p> <p>I think having her work really inspired me and I'm glad she did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom/page/2#post-1932612 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 13:20:57 +0000 littlejoy 1932612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: My mom did both over the course of my childhood. I actually liked when she worked out of the house, because I could go to daycare, which I loved. My parents both WOH, and always made it to events, concerts, etc. We also were able to take vacations a few times a year, because they were both bringing money in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom/page/2#post-1932508 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 12:16:11 +0000 dagret 1932508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad has been a railroad engineer and on call 24/7 since I was 3. My mom worked from the time I was born until I went in to first grade, and then she stayed at home, picking up some babysitting when i was 12, and then WOH part time when I was 14. When I was in HS she started working full time for an oral surgeon so she had some long days. I watched my brothers and made dinner (or my brother did) at that point. She was involved in EVERYTHING when i was growing up, to the point that I wished I was in some activities that she wasn't a leader of. She managed to make it to nearly all of my games and events in high school; i don't remember feeling upset when she had to miss the occasional school thing due to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom/page/2#post-1932013 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 09:05:20 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1932013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't mention this in my first response, but my at least one of my parents showed up for anything I did. Having my mom work outside of the house did not equate to lack of support. My dad was there when my mom couldn't be and vice versa. My WOHM volunteered at my school and went on fieldtrips; for the things that interested her she took off work and showed up. She helped with some school projects, where as my dad was the everyday homework helper.</p> <p>I looked to my dad just as much as my mom to meet my basic needs. Kids are selfish beings living in their own small world. I would have loved both my parents to be available 100% of the time whenever I deemed their presence necessary. I'm not scarred because either of them worked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom/page/2#post-1931931 Thu, 06 Nov 2014 08:06:17 +0000 krispi 1931931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It never bothered me that my mom worked. We stayed at my grandparents' house while my parents were working. My great aunts and uncles lived right across the street, so there was no shortage of family around. If we got bored with one house, we went to the other. I know that's not a common situation, but it was a great way to grow up.</p> <p>My mom worked 4 days a week when I was really young, and she would stay home with me on Fridays. When my brother was born, she went to working a full 5 days each week. My parents had very consistent work hours and picked us up between 4:30 and 5:00 every day.</p> <p>My parents were pretty involved with our activities, so I never really felt like I missed out on anything. They were at all our after school meetings and events. They weren't able to come during the day, but that didn't bother me. If we got sick or needed to leave school early, we had other family around that would pick us up.</p> <p>I would say that my mom was a really great mom, but she didn't have the best work-life balance. My dad didn't help out much. She did all of the cooking and helping us with homework, baths, etc. She never took time for herself. I remember times when I wanted to play in the evenings, but she was too tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931788 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 22:34:34 +0000 DillonLion 1931788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a great thread. My mom WOH dyring my young childhood and then stopped working to help my dad run his business when I was about 10. It was great having her at all my functions when I was older. </p> <p>I would like to work hard now, save money, etc so I can have some more flexibility when she is a little older and is making more memories of whether or not i am present. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931761 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 22:06:33 +0000 autumn865 1931761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a mother who always worked (I think she went back to work when I was a few months old). As a kid I didn't think much about my mom working because most of my friends (mostly through the before and after school programs at school) had similar families with two working parents. Despite working either my mom or dad was at every game/ competition/ activity I participated in. We did family dinners every night and either my mom or dad helped with homework. I remember my dad being very involved with my upbringing versus my mom but I think this is more because I had younger siblings not because she worked. As a child I knew my mom worked a lot in a job that she loved doing and that's something even as a child I respected and accepted. I was aware and ok with the fact that I was not number one in my moms life and sometimes other things came before me in importance (this sounds bad as I type this but I think there's something to be said about a mother SAH or WOH that has other important things in life outside of children). I was aware that my mom never was room mother, couldn't attend school events in the middle of the day, be there when I got home from school, or even take time off when I was sick etc. but I wouldnt say I was ever affected by it. I say bottom line kids are adaptable and if a parent is SAH, WOH, or somewhere in between its what a child accepts as their norm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931743 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:46:15 +0000 MrsSCB 1931743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom worked (as a lawyer) but she was still super involved. In elementary school, she was president of the PTA, helped plan the spring fair my school had every year, and also made dinner pretty much every night. Looking back, I don't know how she even managed it all! I don't really have any memories of my parents not being there for me or anything. They went to work early so they would both always be home by six. I obviously don't know anything different, but I only have positive things to say about my experience. My mom (and dad!) are pretty much awesome ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931739 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:26 +0000 lizzywiz 1931739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved that my mom had a career and I was very proud of her. I was 'watched' by my older sis and bro and 2 (sequential) home daycare providers. I loved my babysitters. I consider them two of the most influential women in my life ( my mom still comes out on top).<br /> And on a side note, from very young I felt bad for the kids whose parents were over-involved at school. I remember being very thankful that my parents weren't always showing up, lol.<br /> That being said, my parents weren't the most functional, so I never had any illusions that there'd be cookies waiting for me at home if my mom stayed at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931737 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:03 +0000 hummusgirl 1931737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was a teacher, worked until I was 4, then took off 7 years when my sister was born, then went back to work. I honestly don't remember it being that different when she was working vs. not (clearly I was a self-centered, oblivious kid!). </p> <p>I do remember how grateful I was that she had a job when my dad got laid off and couldn't find a job for over a year. It was a stressful time but I felt secure because we could get by on her salary. It's one of the main reasons I WOH, because it helps me sleep at night to know that we're a two-career household. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931690 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:09:27 +0000 mediagirl 1931690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: thank you for posting this. My mom stayed at home until we we went to school, then worked as a teacher part time so she was always home when we were. Our lo won't have that luxury. I enjoy reading the responses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931679 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:03:49 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1931679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom WOH, but she had a pretty unique situation because she was a consultant and could more or less make her own schedule. She was able to be class mom and PTA officer, come on field trips and go to basketball games. I didn't really know any different because most of the kids I knew had moms who worked as well, but my mom was much more present at school activities than most I knew. She also was the consistent source of income for the family. My dad owned his own business, and while it was moderately successful, the cash flow was irregular, while my mom had several steady consulting jobs.</p> <p>It was a positive experience and I am not sure that I would have pursued the same path in life if my mom hadn't been such a positive roll model. I always said that I would strive to be like my mom was because I always felt like she was able to work and still be there for us most of the days, so I always assumed I would WOH (and I do, though I now would like to SAH and took an extended maternity leave.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931678 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:03:03 +0000 ScarletBegonia 1931678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was a teacher and she taught part time til I was in kindergarten (I'm the youngest) then went full time. I found it inspirational and seem to be following in her footsteps! I'm also a teacher who will be working part time as of next year (full time now and I can't hack it).<br /> I don't think any of my friends had stay at home moms in elementary school or high school. No woman in my extended family has every stayed at home, including my two grandmothers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931676 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:01:50 +0000 Greentea 1931676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AprilFool: I had a similar experience and wonder if it has influenced me as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931673 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:59:52 +0000 Greentea 1931673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Chocolate: I had a similar experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931665 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:53:34 +0000 AprilFool 1931665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hated it and it has played a large role in my deciding to be a SAHM. Unfortunately I will have to go back to work when my babies go to school and then's when I hated it the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931660 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:50:05 +0000 lawbee11 1931660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Badger: Same! My dad did just as much as my mom. It was great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931656 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:47:06 +0000 Mae 1931656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I sort of had both. My mom SAH until I was 4 and then got a job running the latchkey (before/after school care) at the elementary school I went to. So through elementary school she did WOH but I went to her program so I was still with her. Then I went to middle school and for 2 years she stayed at that program so I was home alone after school and it was fine, I don't remember every being upset about it. I think mostly I was happy to have the tv to myself lol. After that she became a teacher's aid and only worked school hours so she was off before/after school. But-- most of this time (from the time I was 5 until probably 12 or so) she also worked other jobs nights/weekends/summer. Stuff like working at walmart, video store, etc. Whatever to make ends meet. Because it was irregular hours my dad watched me or I went to my grandma's house or sometimes I went to work with her (when I was little and she worked summers at the video store they allowed that!). I definitely never resented it-- just seemed like she did what she had to do to make money and it never occurred to me she shouldn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931654 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:45:59 +0000 Ms.Badger 1931654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: There's hope, it wasn't long before my dad was the best french-braider of all the gym parents! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931651 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:44:08 +0000 blackbird 1931651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Badger: I love this so much! I had a very traditional upbringing and I want my LO to see us as a team the way you described. I've been teaching DH how to do a ponytail </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931647 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:41:40 +0000 lawbee11 1931647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt inspired. She wasn't super high up in her company and she didn't make a ton of money, but she did it for me and my brother and she never complained. She never missed a dance recital or a band concert. She's 65 and still working and has no plans to retire anytime soon. She's basically my hero :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931646 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:40:53 +0000 Ms.Badger 1931646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was a librarian and she went back to work at 6 weeks, she had regular hours but she often worked Saturday to have 1 day during the week off and worked both morning shift and a noon to 8 shift somedays. My dad also worked but he has more normal 8-5 hours with some travel and summers off. </p> <p>I was very active in gymnastics (practice 5-6 days/week, meets all over the country) and I always got to all my stuff. I know scheduling was tough but they always made it happen. They weren't at all my meets but I went with friends and their parents and it was fine (we also took friends with us to some meets). One of them always attended events that were important to me (and my two other siblings). They were both available to help with homework and big projects. One of them cooked most nights (I usually had leftovers because I was at the gym) and packed our lunches every morning. I feel looking back that they were around plenty. We did lots of fun stuff as a family.</p> <p>I wanted to leave my perspective because in my house growing up it was a team effort with my parents. I never felt like my mom was more responsible for us than my dad. They really shared work very equally (my dad french braided my hair for goodness sake) and the way the were really shaped my ideals for having a relationship where the work is shared and partners. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931642 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:37:30 +0000 Charm54 1931642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom WOH and runs her own business so she had some flexibility growing up. She was there to chaperone field trips, she could stay home with us when we were sick, she was at every performance and recital. She made sure that the time spent with us was quality time. We took a lot of family vacations - we would go to Disney World, camping, Prince Edward Island... when we were on vacation my mom could really relax and "let go" - I have the best memories of mom during those special trips. </p> <p>That being said, she did have 4 kids under the age of 6 and a stressful business to run. She would work late some nights/weekends if she had to, but I never felt neglected. I have NO idea how she did it all - I'm truly in awe of her now that I have my own kids. I have very vivid memories of her waking up early (like 5:30am!) to bake cupcakes for our school bake sales. She's superwoman to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931639 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:36:46 +0000 Madison43 1931639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Chocolate: this is how I feel, but in reverse. Because of issues I have from growing up with my stay at home mom - which also has much more to do with the way my parents parented than their work status - I never wanted to stay home and became super career oriented, the goal being to provide my kids with the sense of security that I did not have. The flip side is that even though my mom stayed home, we weren't close at all. So I'm constantly struggling with how to provide my daughter with both financial security and emotional security. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931637 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:36:27 +0000 Raindrop 1931637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow such positive WOH mom stories!</p> <p>I almost don't want to write mine but I think my situation was different.</p> <p>My mother worked a lot. We were very poor and she worked at a fast food restaurant. My dad worked nights as a cleaner for a large office building.</p> <p>My mother would work from 9am to midnight (Mon-Sat - 6 days a week - 15 hours a day). My dad worked from 10pm to 7am (Mon-Fri). So there was actually a parent home almost all the time. My dad had weekends off but my mother only had Sunday off.</p> <p>My dad would cook our dinner... we were on our own for breakfast and lunch. </p> <p>My mother was very harsh with us when she was around, like we did zero fun things ever. At work though she worked with a lot of teenagers and they loved her! She was the straight talking Asian lady that set them to the right path. I think she really guided a lot of under privilege teenagers to better themselves. We weren't well off but I didn't need to work as a teenager because school work was more important. </p> <p>It was really tough for my siblings and I to hear at school or at her fast food place from her teenage coworkers how awesome she was and how we were so lucky to have her as a mom because we didn't feel that way at all.</p> <p>I know she did it to provide a better life for us and we did do better ... went to college and got stable good paying jobs. I wish she made more of an effort to hang out with us and do fun things and maybe showed she cared about us more than our grades.</p> <p>Again I think my situation was different... I am WOH right now but my work is no where near as demanding as my mom's was so I have more time to plan and do things with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931635 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:35:44 +0000 blackbird 1931635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well....my dad worked and I never felt like he wasn't around. My mom worked in a school when I was older so she had great hours. I'm hoping to utilize flex time and even now, I'm off work at 4pm and DH is off at 2:30 so I hope we can make it all work. I hope my daughter can admire my desire to keep feet in both worlds. I think it's SO much easier for us nowadays than it was our moms in the workforce, though!!! </p> <p>Basically, I don't have an equivalent role model of mom/career so I'm following along and just hoping I don't let my kids down :)</p> <p>I figure I always have vacation days to take for field trips and fun things. I have zero issue taking them :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931631 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:35:12 +0000 fairy 1931631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't recall doing much with my mom other than the occasional trip to the park or going to the store with her as a kid. She was a single mom and then the breadwinner and then a single mom again and it just seemed like she was always busy, so I spent most days just watching tv, playing alone, or making up games with my brother (or stepsisters when they visited). I was never able to do any extra-curricular activities other than swim team a couple summers when I was at the camp it was held at anyway and girl scouts because I went with my friend and her mom (my mom was never involved in either) - I couldn't do anything because my mom couldn't pick me up or couldn't afford it and we didn't live near anything walkable. Most weekends from middle school on I begged to go to friends' houses to spend the night. On the bright side, it meant that I learned early on how to entertain myself and learned the value of things/experiences because I didn't really get to do much until I got a car and a job, but it definitely wasn't ideal and I strive for much more for my dauhter. I know that isn't how things were with most working-parent homes though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931627 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:33:20 +0000 catlady 1931627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was a successful professional and I grew up watching her win awards and give speeches. She somehow also always made time for us and I don't remember her ever having to miss any of my music or sports events for work, even though she had to travel quite a bit. She was a great role model, but she had lots of support from my dad, so I think that was a key reason why she didn't burn out. I think it was equally important seeing my dad support my mom as it was seeing her succeed. She always put us first though, and I think that was important. She also let us participate in her work sometimes (I remember pretending to be the audience while she practiced speeches) and I always really enjoyed feeling like I was helping her do her work. I think she enjoyed it too.</p> <p>I should mention that she told me before she died that she sometimes wished she had reduced her job responsibilities to spend more time with family instead. However, on the day she found out that she was too sick to ever go back into work again, she was incredibly upset. She loved her job and the people she worked with. I think the working mom guilt is just so tough. As her child, I can honestly say that I never thought she put work ahead of us. So I remind myself of that when I get my own working mom guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931619 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:26:12 +0000 wonderstruck 1931619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was fine...she was a teacher, so sometimes around report card time she was at school annoyingly late, but that jut meant we got to order pizza and goof around and eat dinner in front of the TV with my dad, haha! I don't think it was that much different than a SAHM would've been the rest of the time. The only difference was we hung out at our school's after-school program for an hour or so and played before she would come get us and take us home. And once we were older...let's face it, most teens come home, go into their room, and shut the door anyways, so it doesn't really matter if anyone is home or not! I probably had more responsibility with chores since she wasn't doing them during the day, but I don't think that's a bad thing. And we had plenty of time together at night and on weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tell-me-what-it-was-like-to-grow-up-with-a-woh-mom#post-1931616 Wed, 05 Nov 2014 20:21:12 +0000 Madison43 1931616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: my friends and I talk about this new idea of "quality" time regularly. Like, my mom was home with us 24/7 but she never busted out any Pinterest projects to keep me occupied. We mostly kept ourselves occupied. </p>