https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 20 Jun 2026 21:43:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197467 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:43:13 +0000 shinystraps 197467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What @Lozza said. I hate being told in a "oops better be careful to tip toe around her" kind of way. Even if it comes from a genuinely good place. I think finding out *not* in person is actually easier because then I don't have to think about the look on my face, or if I'm acting excited enough, or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197428 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:24:27 +0000 autumnlove 197428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say text or email would be the best way.</p> <p>I told my friend by text (I didn't know she was TTCing or miscarried) and I caught her on a bad day. She texted back something about "well, i'm happy for you I guess but I've been trying to get pregnant for some time so hearing stuff about surprise pregnancies just sucks" and some other stuff. I didn't respond back in depth (besides, sorry)because I didn't know what to say but she called me a few days later to apologize and she filled me in with her struggles with TTC and miscarriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197427 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:23:35 +0000 sslm 197427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: yes. Exactly what I was trying to say but you said it so much better! I haven't had to deal with any announcements since our mc but I know I wouldn't want to deal with it in person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197407 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:10:14 +0000 singingbee 197407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: this </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197404 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:08:52 +0000 Lozza 197404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess what I'm saying is, don't set me up to be sad by acting like you're expecting me to be all sad. You know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197400 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:07:43 +0000 Lozza 197400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As the friend who had a loss and then watched several other friends have babies, I preferred non-in-person messages (to be not on the spot) that were just like "hey, i'm pregnant!" and didn't say anything about "hey, i wanted to tell you separately, i hope this doesn't make things awkward, yadda yadda." Essentially the worst thing was to feel like I needed to acknowledge their pregnancy *in light of my loss.* I liked being able to just say "Hey, that's great! Super excited for you." I did NOT want to have to say "Yes, congrats, thanks for telling me in this personal forum and reminding me that you think I may be weird about this."<br /> But that's just me. And I'm kind of antisocial. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197323 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 12:05:03 +0000 banana 197323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, depends on how close you are. If she's a close friend, I would tell her in person or on the phone. Maybe over coffee or something so that it's not so "formal". If she's not that close, an email would be good so that she's not put on the spot to act happy when she may not be feeling happy inside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197233 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:42:43 +0000 runsyellowlites 197233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a close friend we go to church with that had had 2 mc &amp; had been struggling to conceive for over a year when we got pregnant. I spoke to her personally, face to face, before we announced it... I just didn't want her blind-sided with us getting congratulated &amp; her having to try &amp; make face.</p> <p>She ultimately was ecstatic for us, but for me I just wanted to make sure she'd be okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197228 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:42:12 +0000 Mrsbells 197228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @HabesBabe: if she is a close friend I would tell her in person </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197224 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:41:06 +0000 HabesBabe 197224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it's a close friend, I would still tell her in person... email seems too "official" and I think a close friend would want to hear it directly from you, even if she is going through a tough time.</p> <p>Plus, emails can be re-read over and over and over again... I think if she was having a particularly hard time, having something to look at again would be worse than just having you say it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197217 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:36:39 +0000 sslm 197217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with email. I wouldn't want to be put on the spot with a face to face or phone call. She'll probably want some time to deal with her own emotions privately instead of trying to put on a brave face! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197209 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:31:46 +0000 MamaMoose 197209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would email. Let her know that you wanted to tell her directly, but also wanted to give her space because you know it might be a difficult announcement for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-who-miscarried-that-youre-pregnant#post-197202 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:26:28 +0000 chopsuey 197202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How would you do it?</p> <p>Email, text, call, Blog post, Facebook announcement and just let her find out with everyone else? </p>