https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 14:33:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316679 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 08:43:15 +0000 anonysquire 316679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nodakiddo: ya, I make it work by not telling him anything lol. But he is pretty laid back so he really doesn't care. </p> <p>@hellobeeboston: Ya.... That is why I will wait to tell him haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316678 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 08:41:55 +0000 anonysquire 316678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I'm not a huge complainer. I'm obviously really hoping he won't notice. And we work different schedules and see each other prob 4 hrs a day when we work so it shouldn't be a problem. No DH has no idea when my periods are... We are a strange couple maybe lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316669 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 08:06:58 +0000 hellobeeboston 316669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: wow, I could never have waited that long, ESP since we were trying and he wanted to know what was going on! I wasn't nauseous but suuuper tired so he would have known ---- but wanted to say, my dh is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets - including my pregnancy. Two days after we found out we were out to dinner with friends and he told them!! He wasn't supposed to tell his sisters, and he did (I found out later), we wanted to keep the sex of the babe a secret, that lasted about 4 days, and now he is having a hard time keeping the name under wraps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316659 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:58:18 +0000 LazyLightning 316659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: haha WOW! Can't keep his lip zipped at all!! That would make me so mad!! Good for you to notice and tolerate that and figure out how to make it work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316658 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:57:55 +0000 blackbird 316658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>whoa that's crazy! with this being my third in the past year, it got obvious super fast! I've been getting the eyebrow raise from a bunch of coworkers lately, too, so I know it's not my imagination :)</p> <p>He won't notice you don't have a period, though? My husband would totally notice that. Mostly b/c i complain so much when i have it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316656 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:54:05 +0000 anonysquire 316656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I obviously would tell him when it got too noticeable. About 5 years ago I was pregnant for 16 weeks and I couldn't tell, and my ex couldn't tell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316653 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:52:32 +0000 blackbird 316653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, good luck keeping that secret! My husband couldn't help but notice the physical changes. Not only was I suddenly not feeling like myself, but the clothes stopped fitting pretty quickly. And at 14 weeks, I LOOK pregnant. Even my coworkers started figuring it out a month ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316649 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:44:13 +0000 anonysquire 316649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nodakiddo: let's just say secret is not in his vocab. I found out the hard way when we started dating. I told him something very personal and a week later when I went to go visit him the whole town knew. I was mortified, and I am not kidding when the whole freaking town knew. I asked why he told and he said he couldn't help it. Well thanks jerk! Anyways so now I will keep the secret til I'm ready. And I might even tell my parents the same day that I tell him cause he might go to his family before we tell mine and then I'd get psychotic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316646 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:38:38 +0000 LazyLightning 316646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: wow waiting a long time to tell DH! Is he a bad secret keeper? :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316629 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:14:29 +0000 anonysquire 316629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is how I'm doing to tell people if I ever get pregnant. </p> <p>16 weeks: tell DH<br /> 18 weeks: tell my family<br /> 20 weeks: tell DHs family and everyone else </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316625 Sat, 29 Sep 2012 07:11:45 +0000 blackbird 316625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove, lol, that was another big reason i was glad i waited to tell my parents! the FIRST thing they started doing was telling me i need to be careful "this time", that i don't want it to happen "again", and that I shouldn't work out/lift weights, and all this other stuff, and how this was my "second pregnancy" (not really, but i didn't tell them the other time i got pregnant!) and yadda yadda yadda. . I was just like, "thank goodness i didn't tell them in the beginning or i'd be hearing this ALL THE TIME". Whew. Talk about adding more stress when it's NOT NEEDED</p> <p>I also think it's very, very different to tell the mom-to-be's mom versus the father-to-be's parents. It just is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-316016 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 16:23:27 +0000 LemonLong 316016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told our parents right away but told them we were trying to keep it quiet until we at least had our first appointment and ultrasound. My Mom was so proud that she only told my siblings, and a few of my aunts. She did make sure to tell them we were keeping it a secret though! It didn't really bother me, as if we did miscarry those are the people who could support us through it. I just didn't want the entire world to know and then if we miscarried having people constantly asking about the baby or having to publicly announce that we were no longer expecting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315720 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 13:40:45 +0000 MamaMoose 315720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told my mom right away. I had had a prior m/c and then had some early bleeding with this pregnancy so I need her support. She told my dad right away (I wanted her to) but they didn't tell a single other soul until we gave them the OK at 12 weeks. We didn't tell my in-laws until after the first ultrasound at 8 weeks when we saw the heartbeat. We knew they would have a harder time keeping a secret. I myself have heard about numerous pregnancies in their family where it's third hand information that I'm not supposed to know. I have a feeling word probably got around before we officially announced at 12 weeks but no one admitted it to me : ) We live far away so it would have been hard for me to tell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315691 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 13:25:17 +0000 LazyLightning 315691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: haha, OMG! That's crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315662 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 13:11:15 +0000 Foodnerd81 315662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's unfair. It's natural that you might need your mom right now, and if your MIL has proven to be unable to keep secrets, well, that's her fault. I would try to tell them somewhat close together, but you can wait a few extra weeks until you are more comfortable with the grapevine finding out.<br /> I've been wondering about this in terms of when we will see people (not that I'm pregnant yet but if it happens this month). We'll see my family at Thanksgiving and his at Christmas, so I wonder if we could get away with telling my family then and his at Christmas. But I already know I'll tell my sister ASAP and wouldn't want him telling his brother right away, so I guess I'm already unfair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315633 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 13:02:39 +0000 MusicaV 315633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told my parents right away, because I wanted to be able to talk to my mom about it. We told DH's parents two weeks later. We told both sets of parents not to tell anyone. It was difficult for DH's parents, especially because one of his cousins announced her pregnancy (she is due a few weeks after me). Luckily, nobody spilled the secret until we were ready to go public. Could you maybe tell them before Thanksgiving, maybe the end of October, still with strict instructions not to tell anyone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315544 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 12:24:53 +0000 ladyfingers 315544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is tough! We waited until 8 weeks because I'd had some spotting and we wanted to wait until we got a good ultrasound and the spotting stopped. We basically trusted our parents to keep their mouths shut, and they did! But it was a risk we took. I knew that if DH's uncle found out he'd slip up on Facebook or something lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315209 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 10:11:32 +0000 pinkcupcake 315209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a tough situation. We told both sets of parents really early (6 weeks), and asked them not to tell anyone. They did spill the beans to several family members, but I overlooked it since they were just so excited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315196 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 10:08:08 +0000 wheres_c 315196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We found out ourselves at about 6 weeks..<br /> At 8 weeks we flew to Maryland and told my Mom. Like others, I really wanted and needed someone to talk to about the pregnancy and I trusted her to keep it a secret.SO was ok with this because he knows how close I am to my mom. We agreed to tell my dad, and his parents at about the 12 week mark. We asked MIL to keep it a secret, which I was super skeptical about. At about 15 weeks we told the remaining family members. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315185 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 10:05:15 +0000 mamabolt 315185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told both my parents/sister and MIL at the same time (five weeks). DH would have thought it was super unfair to not tell his mom, and she can keep a secret so it wasn't a big deal. My mom was the bigger security risk but I couldn't have kept the secret from her! I know she let it slip out a bunch though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315164 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 10:00:15 +0000 hellobeeboston 315164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we told my parents when I was only about 6/7 weeks, and my sister &amp; her husband, but we waited until i was 12 weeks to tell my in-laws. My husband was OK with it. he knew I wanted to be able to talk with my mom about it - we also had a trip with them planned and they would have known since I wasn't drinking.</p> <p>To make up for telling the in-laws late we planned something more 'special' - that was what my husband wanted - so he could look forward to it and make it a really big moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315158 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:57:32 +0000 AprilK 315158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought you meant to tell your Mom and not your Dad, which is something I'd want to do the next time. My Dad is like the town crier; you don't tell him anything you don't want the whole church/town/county to know. I have been wondering if my Mom would be able to keep it from him when we get preg with #2. haha!</p> <p>The first time around we told my parents at 5 weeks, then told his when I was closer to 10. He is just not very communicative and while they have a good relationship he is bad at making phone calls. So I just let him decide and we told them the next time we saw them after we found out. They keep secrets better than my family though, so I didn't worry about it too much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315154 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:56:11 +0000 autumnlove 315154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rock n Roll: Yes, because I raise my arms to wash my hair and she thinks raising arms above shoulder level is a no-no! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315153 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:54:38 +0000 Rock n Roll 315153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: To shower too much? That made me LOL! I didn't know that was a leading cause of miscarriage! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315145 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:50:39 +0000 Smurfette 315145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told my parents at 6 weeks cause I couldn't wait to tell my Mom any longer then that. I wanted to talk to her about stuff. I was nervous to tell the inlaws. We didn't see them until 9 weeks, and we went ahead and told them. As far as I know they didn't tell anyone, till we gave them the go ahead this weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315139 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:48:51 +0000 autumnlove 315139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I didn't tell my Mom until later. She is so scared of me having a miscarriage and talks about it constantly...she doesn't want me to shower too much, lift LO or do too much walking until I hit the 2nd tri! Um...no! We aren't telling my Dad until my 2nd tri because he is more of a worrywart than my Mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315065 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:28:26 +0000 SugarplumsMom 315065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything should be fair in theory, but I personally don't think it's realistic. I think you should let the people that will support you (and not stress you out) know. If it turns out that telling one person means telling 20 other people, then I wouldn't tell them. It might not be "fair" but if god forbid something happens, I wouldn't want to deal with the 20 other ppl I didn't want to tell in the first place. </p> <p>I'll also add that although husbands have the right since it's also their baby, they're NOT the ones that have to deal with the raging hormones and changes associated with pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315063 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:27:25 +0000 Rock n Roll 315063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's a big deal to only tell your parents. You aren't keeping it a secret from his parents FOREVER. And they're not gonna know. I mean, I seriously doubt you're going to tell your in-laws that you're pregnant and they're going to be like, "How long have your parents known?" They'll just be like, "Yay, baby!" And Thanksgiving is an awesome time to get to tell everyone. It makes the holidays more fun. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315057 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:25:42 +0000 heartonastring 315057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told my mum at 4.5 weeks, but didn't tell DH's parents until 9 weeks and my dad and stepmum until 10.5 weeks. I wanted my mum's support if something happened, but wanted to wait until later in the first tri to tell all the others, plus we wanted to wait to tell everyone in person. No one was the least bit offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/telling-one-set-of-parents-early-and-not-the-other#post-315033 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:18:09 +0000 mrswin 315033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh this is a hard one for sure. We are still TTC but I will want to tell my mom early on because we are close and see each other often.<br /> As for my IL's, I love them but they do NOT believe in keeping secrets about this kind of thing at all. The minute they found out my SIL was expecting (at 4.5 weeks) they told EVERYONE hahahaha aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and probably random people on the street too! I will want to wait until a little later to tell them but I feel like DH will want to tell them around the same time we tell my parents..... I guess we will have to wait and see </p>