https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 19:13:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254716 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 17:11:42 +0000 NavyRN2012 2254716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My in-laws watched my daughter while I was in the hospital with baby boy. My husband went home every night and ate dinner, did bath and bedtime with her, the came back to the hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254703 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 17:01:19 +0000 NovBaby1112 2254703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: thank you :)</p> <p>@Adira: that's very true, I guess we wil just see how it goes. I think writing up detailed stuff- like daycare address and phone number, her favorite foods, what she loves doing best, how she needs to sleep with her blankie , etc will help me calm down. </p> <p>@mauxie: unfortnately DH works pretty late and LO is already asleep whe he gets home most nights. I was browsing online to try to find a book to talk to her about what was going to happen but couldn't find anything. </p> <p>@Bluebonnet: I was hoping to find a book on this but no luck so far! I'll try talking to her more about it as we get closer...</p> <p>@MamaG: thanks for sharing, That's true though, it's just for a very short time and it could go awful or better than I expect, but it's not too long. </p> <p>@kiddosc: I wouldn't want him to miss the birth, praying that part will be short, but more so afterwards...the first night after LO is born </p> <p>@travelgirl1: :heart: glad everything (mostly) worked out for you guys. It is so hard. I think she will be fine all day, but when nighttime comes I can see her getting upset. </p> <p>@Veggiemama: glad to hear it went so well! Yea I think her having DH for bed at least will make it easier on her. ThNks for sharing! </p> <p>@BabyBoecksMom: sounds like it worked out pretty well for you guys. That's one of my fears- going into labor at an odd time, but I guess you are right we could just take her and wait for someone to pick her up at hospital</p> <p>@oliviaoblivia: I wish I could plan this easier, but I just have no clue when I'll actually go into labor :/ that's a good idea to think of fun activities they can do together to keep busy </p> <p>@MrsRcCar: thanks for sharing :) oh how I wish my parents lived closer!! I'm sure she will be just fine though</p> <p>@Corduroy: def going to do this. I'm very paranoid about this stuff so I plan on having DH check in a lot </p> <p>@Kimberlybee: due early October! Still have some time, but I know it'll be here before I know it. Good luck with your childcare situation, hopefully your LOs stranger anxiety lessons a bit, but I am sure they will be fine :)</p> <p>@Anagram: I soooo wish I could do this, bc I would literally be so calm of my mom was here, but she is only able to get 1-2 weeks off work and I really am not sure when to have her come. I don't want it to be too early bc I want her help when #2 gets here, but it's jus hard to plan a date when I have no idea how or when I'll go into labor </p> <p>Thank you so much everyone :heart: I am sure it will all be just fine and I need to relax, it's just hard. I am praying that somehow I go into labor Friday morning, so LO is in day at already, and then give birth a few hours later lol, so DH can go home and do bedtime w her, but I know that's totally wishful thinking!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254679 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 16:40:48 +0000 Anagram 2254679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: I don't know how close you are to your parents, but my mom lives several states away and just arrived to stay with us until Baby 2 comes, so she will be here for LO #1.</p> <p>I'm due any day now, so we're kinda just hanging out till the baby is born, but it's so nice having my mom here because she knows LOs routine, LO is getting used to her being here, she sees what we do every day, etc. In fact, my mom has taken LO out to the park to play right this second so I can relax at home on the couch.</p> <p>So I have no fears about leaving LO 1 at home, because I know she's fine with her Nana.</p> <p>Could your parents come a little in advance? Or your mom? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254676 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 16:35:06 +0000 Kimberlybee 2254676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: When are you due? I am having a hard time figuring out childcare for my DD as well. She will be a little over 2.5 when I go in for my scheduled C-section. I think my best option is our neighbor and good friend but DD needs to spend more time with them soon. Their daughter is 10 months younger. It's more of like their weekend home in the city so DD doesn't see them much. She had total stranger danger the last time we scheduled a play date so it's not going well at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254673 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 16:33:16 +0000 Corduroy 2254673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: For the specific daycare pickup/drop off/car fears: you can leave cousin's phone number with day care so they can call if LO doesn't show on time or get picked up on time. You could assign DH to call his cousin at pickup and drop off time to verify. </p> <p>It will be OK. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254668 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 16:25:18 +0000 MrsRcCar 2254668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were living with my folks when E came along. My parents were familiar with N's routine. Since E decided to come early DH and I just went to the hospital. We thought I was just going to monitored and released on bed rest. Once we knew that it wasn't happening my parents put N to sleep and came up shortly before E arrived. I labored with DH, my parents, and N. It was such a great moment to have everyone there.<br /> I should have started this by saying I have always done wake ups and bed time routines. N did fine, was it perfect nope. Did he survive? Did my parents survive? Yep. N is better adjusted now to be away from me for short times. My parents got extra bonding time and they kept N super busy. </p> <p>The key is keep the toddler busy. :wink: </p> <p>Big hugs momma. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254660 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 16:11:45 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2254660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: :heart: </p> <p>We had my parents come stay with DD1 when DD2 was born. They live in another country but with a scheduled section it was easier to plan. We didn't talk too much about it other than we're going to have a baby sister for you. Nothing about me not being around or anything like that.</p> <p>Baby sister was born just after Christmas so there were a lot of new toys to play with and she adores my parents so I don't think she really registered my absence. It was the first night I have ever spent away from her and it went fine. My mom did end up co sleeping with her but I think she just wanted grand baby snuggles.</p> <p>I'd focus on planning fun stuff so that she doesn't have down time to start to miss you. When Travelgirl's DD was with us we just did activity after activity. The only time I saw her get a little down was the end of the day when she was exhausted and not impressed with my cooking. We went to the playground, did colouring, built a fort, tried on all he shoes, took all the books out and then put them back, had a dance party, made faces with our snacks - raisins and watermelon with grapes and goldfish. We just kept so busy that she didn't think about not being with her mom.</p> <p>Best of luck with your delivery! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254644 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 16:01:23 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2254644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a lot of the same fears, but it ended up that I went into labor at 4:30am. We just woke up DD and brought her to the hospital with us and then my parents took her from there to get breakfast and take a nap a few hours later. She came back as soon as she was up from her nap and stayed home with DH that following night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254622 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:40:37 +0000 Veggiemama 2254622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was also so nervous about this, I had never left my 18 month old for more than 2-3 hours when I was due to give birth to #2. I had tons of irrational fears also and felt so guilty about leaving. Plus when I went into labor he was already sleeping so he woke up to Grandma instead of me, I was so upset about it I sobbed the whole way to the hospital because I didn't get to say good-bye. </p> <p>But you know what, it went great!!! He was so excited to be with his grandparents and they made it fun for him. My husband came home for bedtime and I would definitely recommend it if your LO is not used to someone else doing bedtime. My LO also visited me in the hospital so actually the time went pretty quickly. I felt guilty that everyone else was doing everything for him and not me, but he was so happy it worked out much better than I ever expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254619 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:37:11 +0000 travelgirl1 2254619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was totally the same, it was the number one stressor for me for months. I stay home and DD had literally never been away from me (apart from a few outings with DH) and we had never left her with anyone else, ever. I also lie down with her to go to sleep so we were really anxious.<br /> In the end I had a scheduled c-section so that helped us plan, although it ended up being two days because we were bumped from the first slot to four days later. DD went to a good friend's house, who she loves like family. I knew they would take good care of her and as soon as we arrived to drop her off she ran off giggling with her BFF and didn't give us a second glance. That helped me so much, and my friend sent me texts through the day telling me what they were up to and how much fun they had. She was an amazing support, we were so lucky. I thought I would be crazy anxious but when it came to it I was very calm and reassured. The second day she was more challenging though, and trying to control the situation by not eating. We decided DH would pick her up and take her home so her night time was not disrupted too much. We nearly had to have our friend take her overnight because I struggled with recovery, but decided it was best if DH picked her up and it worked out. I was in hospital for two more days and DH and DD spent the daytime with me and baby brother in hospital. Now that was a ton more stressful than leaving her had been! Toddlers do not like to sit still when there are curtains to hide behind and corridors to run down :silly:<br /> It wasn't seamless, DD did develop a scary imaginary friend while I was in hospital, and she did play up for DH, and was sad to leave me every night, but we all coped. They called me every night at bedtime too.<br /> Oh and we didn't talk to her about it too much beforehand, a few days before my due date I mentioned to her what would happen. The morning of, we talked about it and hyped up the fun aspect a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254600 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:19:19 +0000 kiddosc 2254600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's fair to ask your DH to potentially miss the birth of his second child. </p> <p>I know it's hard not to let all the fears creep in, but your LO will be ok. Is it possible she will have a rough night? Yes, but that's not going to ruin her for life. Hype it up, let her know that you will be away, that she'll spend time with the cousin like a big girl, that you love her so much and can't wait until you get to introduce her to her new sibling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254596 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:18:14 +0000 MamaG 2254596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We talked a lot about what was going on. Mommy was going to the hospital to have the baby and Mommy and Baby will need to stay there for a few days. Our hospital is across from her pediatrician and we pointed it out every time we went past. We talked about what would happen while I was gone. Auntie will come stay with you. She will needs lots of help, remind her how to get to daycare and what to do at bedtime. We tried to put LO in charge - or at least feel like she was in charge.</p> <p>Honestly, it sucked. LO lost her stuff at bedtime and couldn't be consoled. DH went home to comfort/calm her and then returned to the hospital to stay with me. The second night DH stayed at home. We live very close to the hospital so him running home wasn't a huge deal, but it wasn't part of our "plan".</p> <p>But we all survived and I don't think any of us are wounded from it. It's a short blip in your lives and it could go perfect or horrible but it's very temporary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254584 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:14:17 +0000 Bluebonnet 2254584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you told LO what is going to happen when baby comes (Mommy and Daddy will go to the hospital and you get to have a special adventure with Cousin)? </p> <p>Toddlers are resiliant, but my LO does better when she knows what to expect. Before big changes we read books that talk about the change and talk a lot about it to get her excited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254582 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:12:17 +0000 mauxie 2254582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>&lt;3 it will be okay!</p> <p>Can your DH start taking over some nights for bedtime?</p> <p>Have you started talking to LO about what will happen when the new baby comes (in particular, that you will go to the hospital but you'll be back, etc)? Maybe you can hype it up as a really fun one-time thing. I know for the most part you want LO's routine to be the same, but you could spin it so it's a treat (getting to hang with your DH's cousin, maybe watch a favorite movie, bake cookies, etc) </p> <p>I did have my husband go home to help put LO1 to bed the night LO2 was born (at my mom's house nearby), but he did come back to the hospital after she went down. Then he went again to greet her the next morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254577 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:09:30 +0000 Adira 2254577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs!</p> <p>So my parents were going to be watching Xander when I went into labor. We did some practice runs where they met me at the daycare so they could see where to pick him up if they had to and where to drop him off and stuff. I also left incredibly detailed instructions about food, sleep, daycare, diapers, medication, etc! I also tried to have my parents come over once a week leading up to my due date so that Xander saw them more often and was comfortable with them.</p> <p>Obviously things will be different for your LO when you aren't there, but she will be totally fine!! I think you should go with the flow and decide what to have your husband do after your new baby is born. I thought about sending my husband home as well, but Xander was doing fine with my parents, so my husband stayed at the hospital with me and the new baby. If Xander hasn't been doing fine, we would've switched things up. But your LO may surprise you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254573 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:04:43 +0000 MamaBear87 2254573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice as I'm not leaving a lo but hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/terrified-of-leaving-toddler-during-labor#post-2254570 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 15:01:42 +0000 NovBaby1112 2254570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am growing increasingly anxious and terrified about leaving my 2.5 year old when I go into labor. She's extremely attached to me, especially lately, and we haven't had an overnight away from her in a long time. I lay down with her every night for bed and she's so used to this routine. </p> <p>I'm so scared she's going to think something happened to us or that I abandoned her. I know I would feel more at ease if she was with my parents during this time, but we are in another state than them so that's not possible. She will be with DHs cousin, who she knows and sees a lot, but still not the same. I also have this irrational crazy fear about them forgetting her in car if they take her to daycare, or forgetting to pick her up, since it's not part of their routine. Also having crazy thoughts about dying during childbirth and leaving LO without a mom. I know these are highly unlikely, but the thoughts creep into my head at times. </p> <p>I'm contemplating having DH come with me to hospital but then coming home at night to be with LO1. I don't know what to do. </p> <p>Does anyone have any advice that would make this easier on me or LO? Did you do anything to prepare your LO for you being gone a couple days? </p>