https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 05:36:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-183456 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:18:23 +0000 birdofafeather 183456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i agree with @sloaneandpuffy as well! if your mom wants to plan, let her invite. people will come if they want to. most people love to celebrate a baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-183285 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:30:34 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 183285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @sloaneandpuffy: If they want to do everything, let them ... And if people somehow resent the invite, they won't come. Otherwise, if they show, they are probably genuinely happy to celebrate with you. There were some people who I felt like were kind of a stretch at mine for the same reasons, but they really seemed to enjoy themselves and it was touching that they made the effort. Just be sure to write heartfelt thank you notes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-183261 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:10:48 +0000 mamimami 183261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your mom/grandmas are going to do everything, just let them. Let them invite whoever they want. Relinquish control.</p> <p>My MIL threw a very large shower for me and I barely knew a lot of the people there. But it was as much for her as it was for me. Were there stressful and awkward moments? YES, like trying to remember people's names. But in the end, it was a lovely gesture and it was totally out of my hands and that was liberating. And I felt very honored that so many people came and had presents for our babe.</p> <p>As much as we think baby showers are for the mom and the baby, they're not! Grandmas and great-grandmas also often want and need to celebrate in their own way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-183234 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:00:34 +0000 tequiero21 183234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally wouldn't have it... Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-183227 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 11:55:51 +0000 Jumpingjacks 183227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds too complicated to me. I would rein it in or call off the planning. But, keep in mind that I personally don't want a baby shower at all. </p> <p>On the other hand, I think that for baby showers if people really want to be there, they will come and bring a gift. If they don't want to participate, they won't come and will probably not send a gift. You could just invite all and leave the choice up to them. People usually sort out for themselves what they are comfortable with....this is how it tends to go where I live, anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-183204 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 11:46:54 +0000 daniellemybelle 183204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you ask for it to be a "sprinkle" or some other baby celebration that isn't as gift focused? For example, it could be a book shower, and they are asked to only bring a children's book, which is a lot less expensive than a typical baby gift. That way the awkwardness of the gift part would be lessened? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182794 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 02:23:36 +0000 looch 182794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say skip the shower. I was in a similar situation, but having been abroad for the last 4 years, I missed out on attending a lot of events. I didn't want people to think, "jeez, she didn't come to my event, why should I go to hers?"</p> <p>Invite your grands out to lunch, that would be a nice gesture I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182701 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 21:38:02 +0000 cyneswith 182701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OK. So here's a second half to the Awkward Baby Shower question. There are four of the library ladies who would want an invitation (with at least half a dozen who would just find it awkward.) Two of them ARE family friends, aside from being old co-workers. It would be easy to invite them without causing strife. Except there's my old boss, who's just plain nosy (she'd want to see it first hand!), and then her assistant, who likes to be included in such things (she's the quintessential maiden aunt, very sweet.) Do I offend my old boss by not inviting her? Do I make things potentially awkward for the others by inviting the boss and assistant only? Or do I make things definitely awkward for the co-workers who I know hate baby showers by inviting them all? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182563 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 20:22:35 +0000 mediagirl 182563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup. I'm on the awkward side of things. Have a sprinkle - go out to lunch - and invite your family. That's what I would do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182522 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 20:05:37 +0000 Alivoo01 182522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @MamaMoose: , I'd feel a little awkward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182502 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 19:55:52 +0000 MamaMoose 182502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would. I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting people to a shower if we aren't very actively involved in each other's lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182497 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 19:53:22 +0000 cyneswith 182497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Basically, would you try to rein it in or not? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-awkward-baby-shower#post-182471 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 19:38:14 +0000 cyneswith 182471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know no one around here, save for a few writer friends (I only know two particularly well, and one of those lost his only child a year and a half ago. Not gonna drag him into any baby glee.) I'm going home for 4 days in a few weeks. I'm having my gender scan next week at 15.5 weeks. I thought "I think my grandmas would at least like there to be a LITTLE baby shower." So I told my mom.</p> <p>Mom: "So we invite the library ladies, and your aunts and uncles will be coming out, and your great aunts, and we should invite this person...."</p> <p>Me: *twitch, twitch*</p> <p>OK, so I'd feel awkward not inviting some of my old library co-workers - they're kind of like aunts and older sisters. But I feel awkward inviting them since I'm not really an active part of their life now. </p> <p>And it'd be a little weird if my aunts and uncles from Nebraska and Wisconsin come down (for the 4th) and aren't invited, though again, it feels weird since baby showers are a lot about gifts. </p> <p>It'd be rude to not invite my aunt and uncle from Minnesota - but they are poor, and I didn't make it to their son's wedding reception (he was home from KOREA for one week!) because we just couldn't fathom traveling yet another weekend... less than a month after they drove down from Minnesota for MY wedding, where my uncle and cousins worked hard to make things run smoothly for me - plus they JUST had their first grandbaby within the past few months (guilty conscience, much?)</p> <p>And my sister-in-law is the person my mom plans to call to help set it up when my nephew's 2nd birthday is that week and I didn't even MAKE it to her shower for him. So that's just awkward all over (mind you, she, as a bridesmaid, wanted me to order and pay for her dress without telling me her size - so I can't feel too bad for the awkwardness there.)</p> <p>There are a handful of people (maybe 4 that aren't mom or grandmas) that I think would actually WANT to come. But mostly, I'd feel guilty about inviting all those people! Showers tend to not be gift-optional things, and I don't want to put that on people who wouldn't have done something in the first place. </p>