https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 19 Oct 2026 15:29:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487695 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 19:19:02 +0000 MrsH 1487695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I agree boys and girls who are bossy are viewed differently I think there are better ways to support girls and turn them into leaders instead of trying to ban a word. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487633 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:48:29 +0000 MsLipGloss 1487633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: You have mistaken my first two sentences to imply that I was excluding you personally from the *woman in a profession* or *personal experience* group(s). I did not. I did not make any assumptions about you, personally.</p> <p>ETA: The definition was included solely for illustrative purposes . . . it certainly wasn't included because I *assumed* you didn't know what bossy meant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487614 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:36:57 +0000 Dandelion 1487614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others that think this campaign is ridiculous. I don't allow my kid to boss around people he's not in charge of. When he does, I tell him to quit being bossy. "Bossy" is negative...usually demands are given without grace or people skills. "Leadership" is finding a way to lead people while at the same time not making them feel inferior you too. You can lead me...but I won't let you boss me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487612 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:35:31 +0000 wonderstruck 1487612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: That's a lot of assumptions you're making - I have, in fact, worked in a male-dominated field. I was the only female in my department, and I was in a position of a leadership role. My opinion that this is a petty issue still stands. Yes, words do have power, and I understand the definition, thanks for that. (Yes, that was sarcasm. I can look up definitions myself, and frankly I find the stereotypes you're making to fill in the blanks about why you think I don't understand your point of view to be just as insulting as you find the use of the word bossy to be.) There is absolutely nothing about the word bossy that makes it negative towards females. When people twist it and use it to mean something else, then sure it does. But the word bossy, when used correctly, applies to men just as much as it does women. Men and women can be pushy and overbearing, and men and women can be bossy. The conversation about why some people view women in roles of power so differently from men is an important issue, but I strongly believe that issue gets bogged down by things like this. Banning a word that there is nothing inherently wrong with will do not one thing to fix the problem of how some view women in leadership positions, people will just find a different word that you'll have to go on another crusade about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487592 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:22:32 +0000 gingerbebe 1487592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not a Sandberg fan. But that's for another day.</p> <p>This bossy thing makes my eyes roll. Its arbitrary. A little boy can be just as bossy as a little girl. "Bossy" is like saying "boss-esque" or "acting like a boss." If you said my daughter is acting "like a boss" I don't think you'd get irritated. I agree saying that saying someone is acting "like a leader" sounds a little more refined, but again, that doesn't mean anything to me because you can be a bad leader too. I think ultimately, its the intention with which words are said. You can say someone is dominating, controlling, or ambitious and have it mean something positive, neutral, or negative, depending on how you meant for it to come off.</p> <p>For instance, I get a little annoyed when I get an e-mail from someone signed "thanks." Why? Because usually the person using that word is not actually thanking you for something - they're using it to tell you to do something, fix something, change something. Then they tack a "thanks" on at the end as if it makes it better or polite. Does that mean I want to ban the word "thanks" in the written form because it has a derogatory connotation? No. It depends on the context and the intention.</p> <p>Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They can sense what the intention behind people's words are. Let your kids know you have their back and teach them that people are going to treat however they allow themselves to be treated. Teach them to not to stand for someone disrespecting them and to to speak up to you if someone is being derisive or dismissive. That is more effective than banning words. The creeps will just pick another word. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487581 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:11:00 +0000 MsLipGloss 1487581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@katsupgirl: This is an opportunity to "teach kids to use words wisely . . . " And it should be personal to all women.</p> <p>ETA: You don't have to get behind it . . . Just don't stand in the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487578 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:08:36 +0000 katsupgirl 1487578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't get on board with this ban. There are so many other offensive things in the world. It's more important to teach kids to choose words wisely and how to be kind.<br /> @MsLipGloss: maybe it's more personal for you but this word doesn't have really negative connotations for me. If someone s being bossy I think it's okay to say so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487572 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 18:06:05 +0000 mamimami 1487572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've thought about it and perhaps instead of bossy I will call my kids "dictatorial." It's not so gender specific and it gets the point across. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487552 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:56:58 +0000 MsLipGloss 1487552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: To a woman in a profession dominated by men, this is by no means *petty*. For that same reason, it shouldn't be minimized or *petti-ized* by those who have never seen it or been on the receiving end of it. Bossy means "fond of giving people orders; domineering" . . . Synonyms are pushy, overbearing, high-handed . . . I think you get the idea.</p> <p>Words have POWER. Make no mistake about that. And carry weight. And prejudice. And Misogynists and Bigots regularly use them as weapons in their perverse wars of anti-[fill in the blank here]. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487537 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:47:33 +0000 wonderstruck 1487537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: But when you choose to start with small issues that are just petty, it's not easier or more well-received. And trying to ban the word bossy is, in my opinion, petty. There is nothing inherently wrong with that word, just with people using it incorrectly. I don't think getting people to stop using the word altogether is fixing anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487535 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:46:38 +0000 mamimami 1487535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope both of my kids are good leaders without being bossy. I don't think it's the same thing. I will be more careful about the word but I don't plan to ban it.</p> <p>PS I think he last person I referred to as bossy was my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487525 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:38:49 +0000 sorrycharlie 1487525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never heard of bossy when referring to adults, tbh..</p> <p>and I think bossy and b*tch are two COMPLETELY different ballgames. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487519 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:32:58 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1487519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have only heard "bossy" used with children. Depending on when the child was behaving in the fashion "bossy" was a point of pride. As much as I have heard women referred to as birches in the workplace I have heard men referred to as dicks. The unflattering comments cut both ways. Undesirable behaviors in managers such as micromanaging or being demeaning are labeled as such. If the real problem is that girls are still told they cannot be taken seriously as leaders let's address that. I think it's a missed opportunity when we rather ban "bossy" instead of reclaiming it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487500 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:23:22 +0000 MsLipGloss 1487500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: It's not a distraction, it's a symptom of a much larger problem. Sometimes it is easier--and much more well-received--when the smaller collateral issues are addressed first . . . it helps to pave the way for change for the larger overall issue to be addressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487437 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:48:27 +0000 wonderstruck 1487437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's really nothing wrong with the word bossy. If you're throwing around orders to others when they're not your place to give, then you're bossy - male or female. The actual issue is the attitude people have about girls in charge vs boys. Personally, I think the people getting all hung up on the word are just distracting them self from the real problem here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487390 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:28:30 +0000 Mae 1487390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the issue is bigger than a word. The issue is that girls who are strong willed or type A or leaders are generally seen/referred to negatively and boys are not. I think making an effort to have teachers in particular avoid that type of thinking is worthwhile. But the banning of the word bossy seems useless to me. Bossy means something different than being a leader. And I do agree that girls who are leaders are going to get called a lot worse and teaching them to have a thick skin is AS important as trying to fix the problem, for their sakes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487361 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:16:55 +0000 MsMini 1487361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the whole issue is utterly ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487357 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:15:31 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1487357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: hahahah OMG Nikki is something else. I actually like her "rules" hehe. They may serve us well someday. I'm gona jot them down hehe :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487352 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:12:47 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1487352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: 100% with everything but mostly the fact that calling a child bossy vs. an adult is totally different.<br /> Calling a child bossy means just that. "Quit bossing your little sister around on the playground".<br /> But calling an adult that means that they are inferior and they need to know their place and quit trying to demand anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1487213 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 15:26:58 +0000 birdofafeather 1487213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>interesting as i just read about this in parade magazine. regardless of the word, i think the idea she is fighting for is that women are labeled as bossy when they are assertive and in power and men are labeled as leaders and go-getters.</p> <p>a quote from the article: SS: I tell parents, instead of saying, "My daughter is bossy," try, "My daughter has executive leadership skills." I've never had anyone say that without laughing. Now say it for a boy: "My son has executive leadership skills." There's no humor in that sentence, which reveals the difference in our expectations. Women still represent only 4 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs. And more worrisome is that the number has been stagnant for a decade. What has changed fast enough is our acceptance and encouragement of female leadership. That goes for all of us - parents, teachers, managers, society, everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486920 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:52:58 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1486920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hm, I'm not sure how I feel about this, because LO isn't old enough that I've ever thought about calling her 'bossy'.<br /> That being said, to me, bossy and sassy almost equate... as a kid, my mom used the two terms almost interchangeably. So I personally have no hard feelings.</p> <p>I do agree, however, that boys tend to be labelled "strong-willed" or "leaders" and girls are tagged with "bossy" or "b*tchy" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486911 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:51:23 +0000 Greentea 1486911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: I agree. </p> <p>I think this is interesting. It is a very derogatory term and I think it is a positive thing that the subject is being brought to light. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486902 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:49:25 +0000 snowjewelz 1486902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: To me it is! I wouldn't say it to a friend jokingly even. I guess in my world that b word and bossy is vastly different. I totally get where you said you would not want to be called bossy at work though for doing the same thing as a man might. I have never heard anyone calling another woman bossy at the work place; usually it's "she is such a micro-manager, she is so strict", etc. Then again I've only been at 2 companies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486865 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:40:37 +0000 MsLipGloss 1486865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Calling someone a bitch isn't always ill spirited . . . but it still carries the same negative connotation regardless of intent. (although at least with *bitch* there is no inherent question of authority.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486863 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:40:01 +0000 artsyfartsy 1486863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Panda: Lol!!! Me too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486859 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:39:02 +0000 snowjewelz 1486859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: I think yes when the person calling you bossy means it in a really negative way. I don't think it's acceptable to use that word officially in the work place. Maybe more micro-managing. </p> <p>But for example I can call my friend bossy b/c she is dictating where we go to dinner, where we're going shopping, etc (without letting me chime in) and it's not too different (to me) calling a child bossy. Neither are meant to be ill spirited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486852 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:36:46 +0000 Mrs.Panda 1486852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: yes! That's the one lol. I hear that song in my head sometimes when I'm feeling sassy lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486844 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:33:33 +0000 artsyfartsy 1486844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Panda: Classics!</p> <p><a href="http://youtu.be/qg1tO7yQ0dE" rel="nofollow">http://youtu.be/qg1tO7yQ0dE</a></p> <p>This song is disgusting. lol I know it's not the original but it's the more popular version. </p> <p>And I don't really have an opinion on the issue. I go back and forth. Just here for the lulz. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486839 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:31:28 +0000 MsLipGloss 1486839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would also like to add that there is a HUGE difference in calling a child bossy versus calling an adult bossy . . . !</p> <p>@travelingnanny: *not the boss of X* = *not in charge of x* . . . a very easy change to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-b-word#post-1486826 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:26:02 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 1486826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the bossy statement (regarding little girls being called bossy and boys being called leaders) is generally correct and I think the banbossy campaign is good for women. </p> <p>I think great strides have been achieved in women's rights (but there is always room to do more). </p> <p>However, I wish there were more campaigns to make more options "acceptable" to men. I think there is more focus on women doing traditional male things than the other way around. I wish it were more even. </p>