https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 18:00:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2200051 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 08:51:18 +0000 yellowbird 2200051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel terrible because I've been losing my patience with my daughter a LOT lately. When it's just her and i, I have so much energy for her, but if her brother needs me too and she is acting up I just lose it. I'm definitely working on it.</p> <p>I do the triage method. Whoever needs me more gets me in that moment. Most of the time it's her asking me to play with her or pick her up when I can't so I've been telling her after I finish whatever task I'm doing I will </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2200038 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 08:42:40 +0000 Maysprout 2200038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older Lo took about 2 months to adjust. We did a lot of talking about what it was like when she was our only baby and I made a little photo album for her to look at from when she was a newborn (mine are 2.5 yrs apart). I try to triage so one isn't always taking priority, patience is a good skill for both. I started my older Lo in preschool when baby came just for 2 short mornings and she loved having a big girl thing to do. We played up having big girl activities and responsibilities that baby couldn't do. But in the end tantrums happen. I do my best to triage but it's not always perfect. But I try to have cuddle time where we talk and she can tell me what's making her sad. Sometimes it's something we can work on and sometimes it's just her learning her emotions and how to deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2200022 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 08:29:52 +0000 Rockies11 2200022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My toddler was still nursing when I had my next, so, with nursing they both nurse now, which is really draining. My toddler went from nursing once a day to nursing as frequently, or more frequently, than a newborn. With food, I always make sure the baby is fed/positioned first and explain to my toddler that she needs to get fed first because it's the only way she eats. I babywear the baby all the time and do activities with the toddler. I can still carry my toddler when wearing the baby, so that helps with meltdowns. When I get overwhelmed, I read Aha Parenting for encouragment and strategies, especially for dealing with my toddler. I co-sleep with the baby, and we have a nap together in the afternoon, so we get some decent cuddles in. But yeah, it's exhausting, and I am less good at it with two than one, and it's much harder physically to manage now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199970 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 07:55:18 +0000 lamariniere 2199970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I sense that the older LOs needs can be taken care of quickly, I usually tend to him before the younger LO. There is something to be said about the older one learning patience and to wait their turn though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199926 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 07:23:21 +0000 Greentea 2199926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I'm not in that position yet, but I imagine that aspect would be really hard on me. Just yesterday we took DD to the beach and I was realizing how grateful I am that she got to be an only for a few years. So, my advice, having not yet gotten there, would be to do the best you can. Give n.1 attention when you can. I'd probably be honest with my DD and ask her if she can "help" me with the baby (I do this now, tell her she is helping me by reading on the couch or something if I have to get something done,) or give her a small role in it so she can feel like we are in this together. Try to be kind to yourself and do your best! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199899 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 07:16:03 +0000 brownie 2199899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with triage, though, if all things are even the older child wins out. I have a 4 year old and a newborn so my experiences are different than someone with kids closer in age. For the most part, he can be independent. He has access to his own snacks if he wants to eat. If he has a drama tantrum we ignore for others, we give attention as needed which can mean putting baby in the swing. He also loves his baby and will often tell me that I need to tend to the baby.</p> <p>We also give in a lot and he gets his iPad a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199880 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 07:06:24 +0000 blackbird 2199880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, it's ok to be tapped out and have nothing to give! That's life. </p> <p>We tag team where we can so she gets plenty of fun, one on one time. Tantrums happen at inopportune moments and I imagine they will become a lesson in patience at some point. I've been working on "wait" with E. I try to be gentle but I don't subscribe to most AP methods because I find them impractical for my life and temperament. Also, sometimes I walk away. I have to collect myself sometimes. I don't think that's a bad thing for my family to see, instead of trying to force something </p> <p>Also, E watches tv while I nurse T... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199867 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 06:44:26 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2199867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I've always disagreed with that advice. I think a triage is way better.<br /> If my toddler is melting down because I cut her sandwich into triangles instead of squares while my infant is hungry and screaming, I'm going to tend to the baby.</p> <p>@Kemma: if your older child will sit with you while you nurse your baby you can get a lot of cuddles in then. I made it a big priority that #1 got a lot of attention and cuddles while the baby slept. Our transition has been pretty seamless. Also, I still do her bedtime so we have that quiet time to recharge together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199861 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 06:35:59 +0000 mrbee 2199861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Someone posted once that you should prioritize your older child over a baby, as they will remember the most. Made sense to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199857 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 06:23:45 +0000 travelgirl1 2199857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following. I don't have advice yet but I expect this will be us in another five weeks. Hope you get some good advice, hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-balancing-act#post-2199848 Fri, 05 Jun 2015 06:09:57 +0000 Kemma 2199848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since my wee guy arrived I've been wondering how other families balance the philosophies / theories / principles of gentle / attachment parenting when dealing with more than one child?</p> <p>What do you do when you're feeding a newborn and your toddler is melting down because you're not able to cuddle her? How do you deal with a crying child when all you want is for her to be quiet because you've got no energy left to pour in to her (and everybody's having a rough day and the newborn needs quiet to go to bed)?</p> <p>Before our wee guy arrived I had all the time in the world for cuddles, "time in" and nurturing her through her emotional turmoils but sometimes i'm just not physically or emotionally able to do that now and it's something I'm struggling with.</p> <p>How do you balance or reconcile the theory with real life? </p>