https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 21:22:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange/page/2#post-1081139 Wed, 11 Sep 2013 21:59:16 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1081139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I think that family in WA had some kind of "child collection" type dysfunction. They were also hyper-religious and extremely strict. I wonder if there was some sort of adoptive parent mental illness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange/page/2#post-1077302 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 16:16:16 +0000 Mrsbells 1077302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just saw this new story about an adoption from ethiopia where the girl was abused, neglected and ultimately died of malnutrition and hypothermia. Why do people spend all that money to adopt a child if they dont want the child </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange/page/2#post-1077001 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 14:43:12 +0000 Mrsbells 1077001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really disturbing </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange/page/2#post-1076262 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 11:22:52 +0000 Kimberlybee 1076262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is horrible! :sad: Poor children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075932 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 09:15:57 +0000 Adira 1075932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG, I'm reading part 2 and am at the part of the "accidental drowning" and I think I'm going to vomit. I don't know why I went back to read more of this!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075870 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 08:50:01 +0000 Smurfette 1075870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I will have to set the DVR, thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075769 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 08:17:14 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1075769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tonight, Dateline is doing a piece on this. The President is also addressing the nation regarding Syria at 10. Hopefully, Dateline is before his address because the Easons are interviewed, well at least that's how The Today Show pitched the prime time story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075756 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 08:10:36 +0000 irene 1075756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I see... good to know, but for those people who gave up their children to unknown internet people, what happens when the adoption agencies check on them? "Hey how's your son?" "We can't handle it anymore and we ended up giving him to this nice lady from this forum." "Oh, Okay, I am glad it works out for you." ????????</p> <p>I will never understand, just like I do not understand even how people could give up their pets to someone else. It is a commitment you made to another life who will depend on you 100%. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075736 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 07:57:32 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1075736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: agencies do the required follow ups. For us it was three visits. But our case worker and I still text just for the fun of it, which always makes me feel better.</p> <p>I will agree that international adoption can be the wild west, where kids aren't truly orphans or they come to families with problems of neglect, abuse, fetal alcohol effects. That's why it is so important to do your homework on agencies and countries and to consider involving an adoption medicine professional. However, I do believe that international adoptions can be done ethically and with less risk with the right agency and knowledgeable adoptive parents. </p> <p> In domestic infant adoption there can still be problems of deceptive birth parents, shady agencies and prenatal exposures. None of this stuff should be taken lightly.</p> <p>Further, a rule that I think is very important to stick by is NEVER adopt out of birth order, as younger children in the home are at significant risk of abuse by newly placed older children.</p> <p>It really is a matter of preparation and information. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075679 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 07:02:38 +0000 irene 1075679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This article is saddening. I stayed up reading it last night.</p> <p>While I understand where those parents are coming from, I would never understand why someone would want to adopt a 14 year old while they already have multiple kids of their own. Yes there are angels like that (who pays a ton of $$ to help out older, abused children from abroad), but when you spent all that money to reach out, I'd assume they would be prepared for the consequences, better or worse.. How could they be shocked of the outcome and quickly give the child away on the internet as if they were some animals?? Are they all trying to be Angelina Jolie? If they are aspired to be Bradjelina, they better have a matching bank account to deal with possible child behavior and health issues. Is that rocket science?? Sigh.</p> <p>I am also a bit surprirsed that the adoption agencies doesn't check back with the families at least on a yearly basis... those are humans they are adopting, not puppies.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075457 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 21:45:23 +0000 BananaPancakes 1075457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I completely agree that there are likely more happy/sucessdful stories than not, and I should have specified that those feelings are for me personally; not international adoption in general. Adoption always sounds like such a wonderful idea, but there are just too many variables in the international scene for me to be comfortable with it. This article takes it to a whole other level, though. I still commend anyone who adopts any child for the right reasons. </p> <p>@bunnylove08: And I would think that international parents would need far more counseling than domestic. We have acquaintances with an adopted daughter from Russia who has been diagnosed with RAD, and honestly, it's terrifying. They're lucky that they have the money to handle it well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075454 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 21:42:44 +0000 deerylou 1075454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, this is a frightening article. </p> <p>I remember reading (somewhere through the blogospher) about an adoption that was disrupted due to the young child (we're talking, six years old, max) abusing (I assumed it was sexually, by the tone) the couple's biological children. Information about the adopted child's past abuse and traumatic stress disorder were not fully disclosed by the agency in question. The couple ended up re-homing the child.</p> <p>Taking on behavioral challenges is really hard. It can be nearly unbearable, in some cases. But it truly breaks my heart that adopted children can be seen as an item you can return with receipt. I feel that if you would react or respond any different than you would a biological child, you're not suited to adopt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075377 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 20:40:45 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1075377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This really highlights the importance of adoption agencies counseling prospective adoptive parents and providing support after the adoption. DH and I were required to attend a 2 day training course on the issues that are common with international adoptions and/or older children before we could even be approved for adoption (before we put our adoption on hold.) It really opened my eyes and luckily that agency provides lots of support and resources. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075332 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 20:25:50 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1075332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is human trafficking. How is the government not all over this? ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075329 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 20:25:15 +0000 Boopers 1075329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that was so, so sad. I never knew these awful things happened and it just makes me sick. I don't have any sympathy for the parents that gave their children away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075274 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 20:00:23 +0000 bunnylove08 1075274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BananaPancakes: one of the criticism with foreign adoption is parents are not counseled and trained as well as domestic foster/adopted domestic parents. </p> <p>I just don't understand how someone could go through all the time and financial effort to adopt a child and then just abandon them. I cannot believe that there is no law against this and the girl that was given away was given back to the people who gave her away! It just doesn't make sense </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075266 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 19:55:58 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1075266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's a third part of this horrible story coming. Case like these highlight why adoption should be tough to do and why there needs to be such strong oversight. These poor, poor children!</p> <p>PS I have seen rehoming opportunities come up (through legal channels) and they always break my heart :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075257 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 19:51:05 +0000 mrbee 1075257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BananaPancakes: there are lots of successful international adoptions! My sister is one example... and there are a number of other happy international adoptions featured on the blog! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075254 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 19:49:28 +0000 Raindrop 1075254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just read this, this is definitely terribling but on the flip side it seems that the parents of these troubled childern had very little other options.</p> <p>From what I read and I could be wrong it seems like these parents adopted childern that had been abused before and where abusing the parents or the other kids. To help these kids, the parents who probably already spent 10s of thousands of dollars adopting from overseas have to probably spend thousands of dollars of month (one point of the articles listed 6-10 thousand dollars a month as a normal range for this) just to keep them in places that could take care of them which they might not be able to afford. The adoption agency will not help them at all with re-assigning if the adoption is finialized basically your child your problem now. The state will not take the child into foster care without doing an investigation of abuse and voilence on the parents where they could be jailed or face big fines and have their other childern removed (if they have any with all families in this story did) and if they do take the child into foster care the parents have to pay for their care till that child is adopted.</p> <p>I know that adopting a child is usually a wonderful experience and they say of the 100s of thousand adoptions that happned in the last 10 years only about a few 100 showed up here which is a very low %.</p> <p>But after reading this story... I feel that people that thought of adopting childern are thinking twice because of the little support they would get if they did end up with a "troubled" child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075252 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 19:48:33 +0000 BananaPancakes 1075252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa! This is insane. I already feel uncomfortable with international adoption and this makes me even more so. What is wrong with people? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075158 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 19:03:40 +0000 Mrs. Taco 1075158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A story about this aired on NBC Nightly News tonight. It truly is disturbing. They ended the segment with something to the effect of, "tomorrow, we'll speak with those on the other side...parents who realized they made a big mistake, etc."</p> <p>I'm very curious to see what these 'parents' (if you can call them that) have to say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075147 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 18:58:01 +0000 Dapple Grey 1075147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And to add insult to injury, none of the States involved did anything. Its prefectly okay to rehome your kid like a dog on craigslist. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075082 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 18:00:27 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1075082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me so sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075030 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:19:47 +0000 banana 1075030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamimami: OMG. I feel sick just thinking about it. OMG. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075027 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:18:18 +0000 mamimami 1075027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gentle summary: there is a loophole in the law which allows people to give their adopted kids to other people. Most of these kids are foreign adoptees with issues. You can imagine what kind of people are open to adopting kids with problems off Craigslist or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075026 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:15:24 +0000 banana 1075026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't want to read it after seeing the comments. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075022 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:12:25 +0000 runsyellowlites 1075022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: I can't read it either.... </p> <p>Maybe someone could gently summarize it?.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075008 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:03:21 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1075008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't realize there was a second part until I saw they comments here. Now, I really feel ill. This is probably terribly naive, but I just had no idea that this kind of thing even existed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1075004 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 16:58:12 +0000 Smurfette 1075004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no words.....beyond disgusted </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-child-exchange#post-1074991 Mon, 09 Sep 2013 16:43:25 +0000 mrskc 1074991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, so horrible. I had no idea people did this. I started on part two, but couldn't finish it yet. </p>