https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 00:46:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952948 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 15:14:47 +0000 littlejoy 1952948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jetsa: That quote made my heart feel warm. I struggled so fucking hard with it. I made it to 10 months, and now we just comfort nurse once or twice a day. No milk. It felt like it SHOULD have felt natural ... but when something is different than what it feels like, it is so hard to process. Thank you for sharing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952942 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 15:12:51 +0000 .twist. 1952942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gilmoregirl: I totally understand. There is an end in sight and in the grand scheme of things it's not as long as it feels like it is when you're right there in the trenches. Once I reached 6 months (my original goal), I decided I would try until 12 months but I just couldn't do it. I'd had thrush so many times I just couldn't even do it for the convenience any more and stopped at 10months. Good luck!! </p> <p>@PurplePeony: Dropping a few feedings definitely helped me see the light and feel a little more free. :D Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952876 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 15:00:18 +0000 Bubbles 1952876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: god I had forgotten about all the face poking and scratching! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952860 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 14:55:20 +0000 gilmoregirl 1952860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I can relate too. I have an oversupply which has caused its share of issues, but they're mostly resolved at this point. But I find myself super excited to wean and almost counting down the months till he's one and I can just stop doing this. I don't know if I really like or dislike it, but I definitely don't love it and I sometimes feel trapped by it. There are a lot of moms I've met who love it and happily nurse all night long (bedsharing) and have no plans to wean anytime soon...and I can't relate to that feeling at all. I can't wait to be done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952501 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 13:23:26 +0000 PurplePeony 1952501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I had a similar experience, but to a lesser degree. I don't actively dislike breast feeding, but I don't love it and it hasn't really been a bonding experience. From the start, my baby was pretty pragmatic about food and doesn't care where it comes from, she's just all business when it comes to eating. So she was never interested in staring into my eyes and snuggling and whatnot. And as she's gotten older, she loves to scratch, pinch, stick her fingers in my mouth and up my nose, and generally make things unpleasant for me. I've also found that my husband's default answer every time she's being difficult is "well , just breastfed her." NOT THE ANSWER 80% of the time. It drives me nuts, and then I feel like a crappy mom saying no, I'm not going to.</p> <p>But, I still do feel like it's the best way for us to feed our baby, so I persevere. I'm looking to dropping down to morning and night only in a few weeks, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952496 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 13:21:16 +0000 catomd00 1952496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we had a relatively smooth start to Breastfeeding and it was still one f the hardest things I have ever gone through! At 9 months, though I am so happy I stuck it out and incredibly proud of myself and the commitment I have made. I don't know how people who have issues from the start stick it out though - I dot know that I would have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952495 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 13:20:43 +0000 .twist. 1952495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: @Bubbles: Thanks ladies, you're making me feel a little better. :) I went 10 months and my goal was 6 months. So, I did feel like I kicked Breastfeedings butt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952477 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 13:14:47 +0000 Bubbles 1952477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I get this. I had a huge supply and we could have gone on longer than we did (7 months). I did get the whole bonding thing, it made me feel close to DS and I enjoyed being able to provide for him in that way. But it made me feel so trapped, like panic want to run away sort of trapped. I was sad when we weaned because I am an emotional person and I felt really guilty too - but I was much happier after. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952443 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 13:04:46 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1952443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I feel the exact same way. Really truly hated BFing for a long time. Still don't like it at 8 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952359 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:32:58 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1952359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: thank you. :) I'm also (obviously) a tad stubborn... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952356 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:32:49 +0000 snowjewelz 1952356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jetsa: Thanks for the encouragement! The good thing is, I have such a realistic picture of how badly BF can go, so if things aren't working at least I won't be in shock, and I know to give myself an out </p> <p>@Baby Boy Mom: That's a good idea! At least if things weren't getting better than there's an end in sight too. I'm glad things looked up for you! I guess diff people have diff thresholds too of how long they can hang in there for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952341 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:28:15 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1952341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: agree with others that many people I know had no problems. The best advice I was given (we had lots of issues) was to commit 100% for a certain amount of time (say 6-8 weeks) and then reevaluate. Sure enough by that point things started turning around for us and I was glad I stuck with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952332 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:26:38 +0000 .twist. 1952332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Baby Boy Mom: haha thank you! That is refreshing and I'm glad you ARE loving it now. All that work and dedication you deserve it! :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952315 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:21:43 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1952315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I have been BF for 41 months now and for what it's worth this is how I've felt about it: months 0-3 hate, 3-10 dislike, 10-20 tolerate, 20-36 like, 36+ love. You could say it took me a while to come around... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952310 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:18:43 +0000 kes18 1952310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm lucky in that we have had pretty much zero issues breastfeeding (I never had any real pain, barely used my lanolin) and my close friend hasn't had many issues either other than she said it hurt the first week (babies are 2 weeks apart). No supply problems or weight-gaining problems.</p> <p>I was honestly expecting to have tons of issues because I swear that all I read about is women having issues with BFing. So, in some ways...these articles terrified me before my baby was born! I think you hear about issues more because there is something to write about, as I don't have much to say other than no problems and I (usually-ha) enjoy it. The only negative for me is that I'm required to be around much more for the baby (like I don't want to leave her overnight or longer than 8-9 hours) though I do work and pump 3x a day at work. I did have some issues with pumping the first month back, but after I got over that hump it was easy enough.</p> <p>I sometimes like to offer hope to expecting mothers that it won't necessarily be the case that you will have a hard time with it. I was totally expecting it to be difficult...and it wasn't</p> <p>But if you have these issues (or any other reason), I'm totally on board with doing what is best for mom/baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952308 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:18:20 +0000 .twist. 1952308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Well that is nice to hear! Most moms I've talked to sobbed when they had weaned and the only reason I cried (if at all) was because I was so happy it was over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952299 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:15:23 +0000 jetsa 1952299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: my mil and one of my really good friends both SWEAR that breastfeeding was the easiest thing they've ever done. Baby latched day 1 and they never looked back. I wasn't that lucky and that's ok but I think a lot of ppl want to talk about how hard it is (myself included) so that new moms don't assume it will be rainbows and roses. Also I had 6 LC's tell me it shouldn't hurt, I only got through to the other side because I had an epiphany one day and realized this was my and my babies journey no two ppl are the same and neither are two babies. I hope and pray the 2nd time it's easy just so I get to experience both sides and bc EASY. Lol. Good luck to you and remember you and your baby will figure it out whether it's breast or formula who cares. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952295 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:14:07 +0000 blackbird 1952295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: most moms I know IRL hate BFing. It's a huge hassle and PITA, so they don't do it that long. Plus it's not always feasible with our jobs! I don't think you're very alone at all :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952279 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:11:11 +0000 Adira 1952279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I think @Smurfette: had a similar experience? I know she didn't really have that bonding experience that lots of moms talked about, but I think she had a decent supply. I know she breastfed for 6 months and then she stopped and switched to formula because 6 months was her goal and she didn't have any desire to keep doing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952264 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:07:14 +0000 .twist. 1952264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These threads always make me kinda sad. </p> <p>L was a great feeder and I had a great (overwhelming, even) supply. </p> <p>Breastfeeding wasn't great for my mental health. I didn't love breastfeeding like I was "supposed" to. Which made it really hard to relate to moms who could breastfeed (because they all loved it and felt bonded and whatnot) and I couldn't relate to forumla moms because I had zero issues with supply. It was a very isolating experience for me. I don't feel like enough people talk about that side of it... and maybe that's because I'm the only one and am just a jerk? lol I dunno. But it totally sucked and I relate to the article in a different way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952258 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:04:11 +0000 snowjewelz 1952258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lawbee11: I do hope so! I think we just hear way more of the issues, since if you don't have issues there's really nothing to talk about! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952229 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:52:41 +0000 lawbee11 1952229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I was the same way when I was pregnant. After reading so many threads and articles like the one above I was convinced BFing wouldn't work or would be really hard. Just wanted to tell you it isn't that bad for some people. It is challenging for a lot of people, but not everyone! Every BFing relationship is different, so you may be pleasantly surprised :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952203 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:42:20 +0000 Nskillet 1952203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my biggest problem (as im in the trenches with a 5 week old baby) is the all or nothing mantra that seems to accompany breastfeeding. If it's so natural, why have there been wet nurses for ages? Some women just can't. For me,I am home for 12 weeks. Do I really not want my baby to take a bottle till then and struggle with the thought of hungry all day waiting for me? I combination feed my daughter and am proud to provide her what my sanity and body will allow for. My husband said it best. You have to do what works best for you and baby not what someone else says is good for you and baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952185 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:33:52 +0000 Adira 1952185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree!</p> <p>Even though I think I had it pretty lucky and I was able to breastfeed/pump for Xander for 14 months, it was such a ridiculous time-suck and stress in my life. I'm glad I did it, but I honestly have no idea if it was worth it or not! I spent so much time attached to a pump instead of spending time with my baby. And so many vacation hours in order to pump at work. And so much lost sleep.</p> <p>And despite all the magic benefits it's supposed to provide, Xander's allergic to cow's milk and has asthma and I'm left thinking "was it really worth it?" And yet I'm already gearing up to do it all over again for baby #2... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952181 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:32:57 +0000 snowjewelz 1952181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was kinda angry when I went to breastfeeding class... The nurse keeps saying it's natural, it shouldn't hurt, etc etc. But almost all moms I know IRL have issues w/ BF! With LO due any day now I am so nervous about how my BF journey would go! I don't even want to open any packaging for anything related to BF in case it's a giant flop so I can return stuff :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952108 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:08:50 +0000 mediagirl 1952108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My favorite part, which you already quoted: "For being something a woman’s body is created to do, I gotta say, it requires a shitload of jerry-rigging."</p> <p>Breastfeeding is so hard! We used bottles to supplement, formula, pumped milk, scales to weigh her after she lost weight, I worked my pump to the bone at work 3x/day, I woke up with her in the middle of the night for 17 months because it was my boobs she wanted, etc. It sucked so hard. But I'm glad, now that we're done, that I did it. </p> <p>That being said, I am pretty sure I could have saved some of my sanity by not breastfeeding. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952103 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:07:57 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 1952103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally agree. Even though I read a ton of personal experiences of women and breastfeeding on here and other places, I still was not prepared for how hard it would be. I finally saw the light at about 12 weeks when I was getting healed and it didn't seem as difficult. That only lasted until about 7 months when she decided to pull every. single. time. and damage me again. It just was not getting better no matter what I did, so we switched to formula at 8.5 months. It was definitely not easy, but I am proud of how far we made it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding#post-1952087 Thu, 20 Nov 2014 11:03:48 +0000 jetsa 1952087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes to everything she says. I was there I saw the light at 16 weeks and it got easier but to what point, was it worth it? As I breastfed my 13.5 month old i say it was now but in the moment it sucked.</p> <p>My favorite quote, "This is what nobody tells you: committing to breastfeeding is like running a marathon. It’s a total mindfuck. It is not easy. It does not feel like the most natural thing in the world, and you have to be prepared to work your ass off to get it right. For being something a woman’s body is created to do, I gotta say, it requires a shitload of jerry-rigging."</p> <p><a href="http://workingmomfence.com/2014/11/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding/" rel="nofollow">http://workingmomfence.com/2014/11/the-dark-side-of-breastfeeding/</a> </p>