https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 08:35:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-815540 Wed, 29 May 2013 13:21:59 +0000 Honeygold89 815540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: honestly without prayer and fasting and my DH I would have probably been in the nut house but I had that problem too with a lot of my friends (like 5) all announced theirs around the time I was having my m/c and all due around the same time as I would have been and now every time I turn around I have to hear them talk about their pregnancy and the milestones they are hitting. It's hurtful but I'm trying to keep my head up and keep my faith in god and know he will bless us all with beautiful heathy LOs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-815373 Wed, 29 May 2013 12:31:39 +0000 Ash 815373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have a problem holding babies after our m/c... my problem was hearing pregnancy news! 2 of my SILs announced pregnancy (one announcement was 1 week after our m/c) and all I did was cry... it was like a punch to the face. It broke my heart but definitely got easier... Prayer definitely helped me heal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-815332 Wed, 29 May 2013 12:20:18 +0000 Honeygold89 815332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: thanks </p> <p>You ladies are so supportive and comforting it makes me feel so much better❤ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-815282 Wed, 29 May 2013 12:02:32 +0000 regberadaisy 815282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeygold89: I have no experience but want to echo the other ladies to give yourself a break. Big bigs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-815278 Wed, 29 May 2013 12:00:58 +0000 Honeygold89 815278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: yeah it was and I think it affected me more then I thought it would and hugs to you hope your doing as good as anyone could in your position </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814812 Wed, 29 May 2013 09:11:20 +0000 LovelyPlum 814812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't held a baby yet, but I can imagine how tough that must have been. Hugs to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814571 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:55:18 +0000 Honeygold89 814571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheReelDeal: sorry bout your loss too and we all will eventually I pray for us all just cant wait to get rid of the sadness or just being set back cause I've been fine since the end of April I started feeling better and that just really set me back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814560 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:49:21 +0000 Honeygold89 814560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: He knows he just thought it would make me feel better for some odd reason but he has been very supportive it's just he feels we can't control what happen and he keeps saying he just wants a healthy full term baby and know that god will bless us with one in due time and that's what makes him feel better and I tried to go off that hope too but I feel like Monday was just a set back and he don't get why. He knows I love kids and thought I would feel better holding a baby. Men and their logic?¿ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814557 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:46:44 +0000 TheReelDeal 814557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This situtation is tough, and it looks like you are dealing with it the best way you can. Every day gets easier and you should mourn in anyway you want.</p> <p>I held my niece one month after my m/c, it was bittersweet. I loved her the second I held her, but my heart ached afterwards. Even now when DH and I are going through IF treatments, it's still difficult to see baby things, but I know that we'll have one of our own soon enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814551 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:37:51 +0000 heffalump 814551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry :(</p> <p>I didn't hold a baby until I had mine after my miscarriage. I did help host a baby shower for a friend that was due a month before I was supposed to be. I talked to dh before the shower and told him not to leave my side because it was going to be very hard for me and I needed his support. It was extremely helpful to always have him there. Now my lo is 6 months younger then the baby from the shower and they play together :)</p> <p>I would talk to your dh about it. I'm sure it's hard for him to understand. He wasn't physically carrying the baby, his hormones and body weren't changing, etc. Just tell him even if he doesn't understand why you're upset, you are and he needs to respect that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814548 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:35:28 +0000 Honeygold89 814548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And I'm so sorry for everybody's lost regardless of how long it's been m/c is one of the worst experience you could go thur I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814547 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:32:43 +0000 Honeygold89 814547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks ladies its just been so hard thur it all because I felt so alone when it first happen because this would have been both of our first biological child because he has a 5 yr old adopted daughter with his ex which I love her like my own but before we got our bfp in early march he didn't even think he could have kids so now he's just happy and excited about that which I am too cause I thought the same too but come to find out that it was both of our exs that couldn't but I'm so glad I found HB cause the people we told about the pregnancy which was my parents and his mom and sister never experienced that so their best advice was it will happen again or it just wasn't time which made me feel worst and now I feel as though I have sisters to talk to and confide in that aren't judgmental and who can actually understand how I feel. Cause my DH doesn't understand and think I should be happy knowing we can conceive which I am but I would have loved having that baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814543 Wed, 29 May 2013 06:25:34 +0000 lilteacherbee 814543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best friend at the time/DH's cousin's wife (so she was family as well) had her baby 2 days after my D&amp;C. I nearly had a breakdown. I couldn't go see the baby for 2 months. As a teacher of 4-5 year olds, lots of them have baby siblings and it was rough for me to see them even at the beginning of the school year (3-4 months after the m/c). The only thing that has truly helped has been prayer and now being 15 weeks pregnant again. It is definitely normal, hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814532 Wed, 29 May 2013 05:42:43 +0000 MrsTiz 814532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, that's rough..I'm sorry!</p> <p>I was told I was that my baby stopped growing so they scheduled my d&amp;c for almost a week later and I had to go to a baby shower in that week. I couldn't get out of it and it was *so* hard watching her open all these sweet baby things, at least I didn't have to hold Any babies but still.</p> <p>I went to see my friend after she had her baby a few months after my miscarriage and that was so hard, she understood and didn't make he holds her long </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814527 Wed, 29 May 2013 04:45:23 +0000 singingbee 814527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my good friends had her baby boy about a month after our daughter was supposed to be born. I held him 24 hours after he was born. I cried a little when talking to her and she understood. However, I know for me personally it was good to do. That wasn't the first baby I held since our miscarriage. On of dh's cousins had their baby girl in may, about a month and a half after we lost ours. I went down and met the baby on June because I knew I needed to do it on my terms and when no one else was around. I dreaded the entire trip and Almosy backed out. However, once I got down there and the new mom just started unloading on me, I realized that the big thing was not how this affected me---turns out the new mom needed me to listen to her more. She was really stressed and didn't really have anyone to talk to about it. I left feeling much better about the whole thing and I held her baby without crying, even though she had a little girl. </p> <p>Everyone handles it differently. I still have a former coworker who was pregnant the same time as I was the first time, whose baby I've still not met. I've seen pics and talked about her, but can't make myself go and meet her. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814503 Wed, 29 May 2013 01:54:05 +0000 Cherrybee 814503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Give yourself a break here, its only been two months. You wouldn't expect to bounce back from any other loss that quickly. Its great that your DH has come to terms with it but everyone grieves differently and its normal that you are still mourning. </p> <p>I had my m/c in September and my BFF had her first baby in November, a week early. I went cold when I got the call to say he was here - I wasn't ready to face it. I went to the hospital and held him. I felt ok while I was there with them but as i was travelling home I started feeling sadder and sadder. When I got into the house, i burst into tears on DH. He couldn't understand it, he kept saying "but i thought you'd be happy he is here safe??" and I was..... but I was also so, so sad. That space in my arms where my baby should have been felt empty without him/her. I felt silly - and selfish - for thinking about that when i should have been focussing on my friend's happiness. </p> <p>The pain did heal for me eventually and it will for you too. Don't feel you have to rush yourself. Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814492 Wed, 29 May 2013 01:22:48 +0000 blackbird 814492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't hold one until I held my own, but she healed my heart when I had her </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814488 Wed, 29 May 2013 01:04:06 +0000 shopaholic 814488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely not weird to feel that way. Everyone mourns and deals with loss in their own way and time. {HUGS} Sorry you are feeling down. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-first-newborn-since-mc-in-late-march#post-814479 Wed, 29 May 2013 00:17:08 +0000 Honeygold89 814479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So on Monday we had a family get together at my soon to be DH moms house and his niece just had a little boy who's only a month old and to be honest I was avoiding them the whole while but once I relaxed and not thought about it it happen my sister in-law had the baby and passed him to DH and he held him for all of 2 seconds before passing him to me even though I tried to declined he kept saying come on you love babies so i held him for a good while and it really broke my heart and melted at the same time and every since then my mood has went way down and I'm not sure if he realized or understand what he did to me mentally. He has the mentality of when it happens it happens he's always so cool calm and collected about everything</p> <p>But my question to my fellow bees is after a m/c how was your first experience holding a baby and is it weird to still feel this way and its been since march:/ </p>