https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Jul 2026 23:50:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755644 Wed, 01 May 2013 21:22:29 +0000 pl0508 755644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read like the first 2 paragraphs and quit. I could tell where this was headed and don't want to know :( :( :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755641 Wed, 01 May 2013 21:19:20 +0000 dagret 755641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: yah I can see that. Plus there are a whole bunch of people's butts on the line, not just one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755600 Wed, 01 May 2013 20:48:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 755600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my goodness! We should organize ourselves into a powerful interest group to represent the interests of mothers and children. The women of Hellobee could move mountains! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755532 Wed, 01 May 2013 20:02:47 +0000 immabeetoo 755532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Heartbreaking story. I've worked with young moms before and it's awful that they have to make choices that are bad from worse. I remember one little boy who had the flattest head from sitting in his carseat so much at a daycare with way too many babies that was unlicensed :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755514 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:54:57 +0000 pastemoo 755514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was the worst part of getting out of the military--although the system they had was not as good as the article suggests.<br /> So, move to France?</p> <p>That story is so awful.@Modern Daisy: us, too. My son was in a daycare like that for a while. Now he's home with a high schooler--who I trust very well. It's still hard to read the article without freaking out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755510 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:52:24 +0000 matador84 755510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I take DS to a great daycare, but this has to be a parent's absolute worst nightmare. I can't even think about dropping my son off at daycare and that is the last time I see him alive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755506 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:51:20 +0000 PrincessBaby 755506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg. I can't even handle this story. H has a nanny for now, but one day I figured she'd go to daycare. When she does, I won't soon forget this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755492 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:47:55 +0000 Modern Daisy 755492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really depressing, but 100% true. Daycare isn't even an option for me because there aren't any in my neighborhood that take infants. And the closest centers that take infants start at $2,700/month and there are long waiting lists. So we will have to hire a nanny unless I stay home, which isn't an option because this city is so damned expensive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755430 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:13:57 +0000 pl0508 755430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I'm doing an in home too and also feel really good about it ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755423 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:06:35 +0000 Raindrop 755423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow such a sad story. It really breaks my heart that single moms have a tough time finding daycare. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755381 Wed, 01 May 2013 18:29:34 +0000 yellowbird 755381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: I don't think you're attacking working moms ;) I know it sucks on both ends of the spectrum! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755378 Wed, 01 May 2013 18:27:21 +0000 sorrycharlie 755378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh..i agree with the posters about how awful it is that quality daycares are largely unaffordable. I shared this link on facebook, and already am worried I will be attacked (as a sahm) for judging working moms..but I'm not at all. I think all around it's awful..I feel guilty (per the article saying I'm not really contributing economically) cause I'm staying home with O because we can't afford daycare on what I would make anyway! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755372 Wed, 01 May 2013 18:20:36 +0000 Andrea 755372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is so sad that so many people have no choice but to use such horrible daycare places because they need to work. I tried to find an in-home daycare but the places I found were very sad looking and not clean. Imagine how many kids are in places like that. Luckily, we were able to afford the more expensive daycare center when I could not find quality in-home care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755291 Wed, 01 May 2013 17:18:15 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 755291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. This is devastating. I am just sick to my stomach. These poor families! All because no one can regulate the costs of daycare. I am not 100% into regulation, but damn, let's make it so everyone can put their children in quality day-cares that are not going to kill them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755205 Wed, 01 May 2013 16:22:00 +0000 daniellemybelle 755205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How heartbreaking. I do believe that there is a lot more accountability / higher standards for daycare centers as opposed to in-home care, but they come at such a steep price.</p> <p>I looked into the inspections / ratings for Tennessee, and they are VERY general. Like, 5 categories with 1, 2 or 3 stars. That doesn't tell you much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755187 Wed, 01 May 2013 16:07:34 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 755187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After looking at everyone's comments here, I can't read the article. I already know it would upset me too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755175 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:53:25 +0000 Alivoo01 755175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG! How absolutely frightening!! We've been checking out the state's child protective service site that rates each day care on deficiencies and violations. I still feel terrible having to leave my child at one because 1) he'll be so little and 2) being away from your new baby is always hard so trusting him with a stranger only makes it harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755154 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:40:46 +0000 MamaMoose 755154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: oh yes, I know they are licensed. I just mean I think that when there are multiple care providers working as a team that environment helps hold them all up to a high standard of care because they hold each other accountable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755144 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:33:59 +0000 dagret 755144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: who in their right mind leaves a child unattended! Holy crap. </p> <p>@MamaMoose: There are licensed in-home centers in my state, they're just harder to find, in my region anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755135 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:28:26 +0000 MamaMoose 755135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: I've always felt much better about centers vs. home day care simply because of the accountability that just doesn't exist with a single provider in the home. I'm so sorry that your friend went through that... that would be devestating for me.</p> <p>We feel extremely blessed that we are able to afford a very high end day care. It certainly makes my brain hurt to consider the fact that my day care bill for ONE child is more than my MORTGAGE every month, but the peace of mind is worth every single cent. It breaks my heart that families have to choose between not working (and therefore bringing in ANY income) and sending their children to a sub par care situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755131 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:27:29 +0000 pelikila 755131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: For Texas it is the Department of Family and Protective Services. <a href="http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child_Care/CCLNET/Source/CPA/ppSearchTXChildCare2.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child_Care/CCLNET/Source/CPA/ppSearchTXChildCare2.aspx</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755127 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:25:23 +0000 dagret 755127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: in my state, inspection for licensed childcare providers is available via the state Department of Public Welfare website. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755118 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:23:26 +0000 pelikila 755118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the Houston area and remember when that tragedy occurred. We chose a NAYEC certified daycare because we knew what kind of care our son would be getting. It was very important to us that we have consistent quality care so I checked the inspection ratings of the daycares we were considering and narrowed it down from there before taking tours. I still check the rating of the daycare we are in about once a month and we are still as happy as can be with the daycare our son is in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755100 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:18:33 +0000 Mrs. Pen 755100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: where do you find the inspection information?</p> <p>My heart is hurting and stomach churning and I just bawled reading this. It makes me so mad and terrified. I know I'm blessed to have a family member as a nanny for now, but it makes me worry- did he turn off the stove? Is he watching J to make sure he doesn't stick stuff in the outlets? Is he being gentle with him... Etc etc! He did take a class and my parents attended with him, he did CPR and first aid, and my parents are good about leveling with him. But I can't help but worry you know??</p> <p>I have worked in child care the majority of my working years- as a nanny. And it's true we get paid so little for all that we do- I did everything a mother does and more, working long hours and weekends for little pay. I loved it anyway- I loved the kids- but I do think there comes a point when many providers rationalize "I don't make enough to do X." </p> <p>I was always under the impression that home daycares were better but I keep hearing things like this. A friend of mine recently sued her home daycare for negligence- she left the sleeping children and went to the store. My friend got there to pick up her child and she wasn't anywhere to be found. My poor friend- first time mom to a six month old and she was devastated, betrayed, terrified, etc... She now has him in a center and its so worth the extra cost for them. </p> <p>@blackbird: in theory, I agree about the age. But I am 23, and I know I'd make a hell of a daycare provider if it was something I wanted to continue doing ;) I do think I'm the exception rather than the rule, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755067 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:04:57 +0000 Bookish 755067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember this story... I'm from the Houston area and it was just awful :[<br /> Thank you for posting the article, it reminded me to check the most recent reports for all the places we have LO on the wait list for, and now I'll be taking her off of one because in the report they had blankets on all the infants in the cribs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755061 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:02:23 +0000 Freckles 755061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me sooo ill. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-755058 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:00:59 +0000 Foodnerd81 755058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow-- that was really upsetting. @looch: I agree that this is as big an issue for working mothers as maternity leave. </p> <p>That said, I do think there were some obvious red flags at that day care-- it's horribly sad that someone would have to choose between that and not working at all with no money, but it's obviously a really extreme example. I think (hope) most daycares that are not 'high quality' are because the kids are in front of the tv too much or their diapers aren't changed often enough, and things like that, not because the only adult there leaves for hours at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-754936 Wed, 01 May 2013 14:25:59 +0000 littlek 754936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We ended up picking a more expensive daycare center for our LO but I'm sooo happy with it. I think the extra cost is worth the security of knowing our LO is in safe hands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-754935 Wed, 01 May 2013 14:25:59 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 754935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my! What s sad story. I didn't know the US Govt had rules in cold care, besides Hesd Start. We can definitely make things better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-hell-of-american-daycare#post-754928 Wed, 01 May 2013 14:23:19 +0000 looch 754928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me, this issue is the one that we need to solve for working mothers. It's more important to me that we have affordable and safe daycare than long maternity leaves (in a situation where we can't have both). </p>