https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 06:29:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060748 Mon, 09 Feb 2015 12:31:34 +0000 alphagam84 2060748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Heck no! You need to tell your families you live too far away and have too much going on with a baby to drive out to see them all the time. I would commit to one visit once a month. If they want to see you and your child more they are welcome to come over once a month on a pre-determined date. If they don't take you up on it, not your problem! That leaves you with two free weekends each month! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060103 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 23:33:13 +0000 Mama Bird 2060103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eminthevalley: great idea, I'll have to do that more often! Especially now that my son's older and it's easier for family to look after him if I step out.</p> <p>@ktdid23: my boy is two. I think we'll also have to slow down once he starts some kind of classes, and I really think the visits will be better if I'm not tired and wishing I was somewhere else! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060090 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 23:16:41 +0000 ktdid23 2060090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eminthevalley: That's a great idea! We see family every 4 or 5 weeks (we live 2+ hours away from both sets of parents/siblings) so we know that when we visit, it's family time, BUT if we lived closer and saw each other more often, I would TOTALLY take advantage of the extra helping hands! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060087 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 23:14:56 +0000 ktdid23 2060087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: Ah, I understand. It's hard when they physically can't make the trip, but it's a burden on you to have to travel every weekend... not to mention the gas &amp; mileage on the car :-( </p> <p>How old is your child? We also used to travel a ton (we live 2+ hrs away from both families) but in the last year or so, really slowed down. My daughter is 4 and she's involved in gymnastics and we go on various play dates on the weekends (in addition to running the errands we can't run during the week because my husband and I both work full-time!). We try to keep in touch via FaceTime and always have a date for the next trip so that we have something to look forward to. I find that when we have some distance in between trips (be it 2 weeks or a month), we all enjoy the visit much more. And we are always there for a full day (if not overnight!) because of the distance we travel. </p> <p>Good luck navigating this. I know how hard it is to want to accommodate everyone's wishes to see your child... but if it's stressing you out this much, it's worth considering making some changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060081 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 23:06:32 +0000 Eminthevalley 2060081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I take advantage of long family visits to go out and do something for myself--since there are helping hands around, I go shopping, get a pedicure, or just take a walk. From the beginning my in-laws have known that on our visits, I'm going to disappear for at least an hour or two! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060079 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 23:02:29 +0000 MrsKoala 2060079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: my in laws live down the street and if they had their way they'd see us every day so I know how it can be. I just can't do that. It's too draining for me. I made it clear to my husband that I need space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060072 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:58:58 +0000 Mama Bird 2060072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: I wish! We leave the house determined not to stay very long, and it still turns into a whole day. I guess because the boys end up having such a good time, and outs also an hour's travel each way! I did put my foot down and said that no, we will not visit MIL in Saturday and my folks on Sunday every week, so one visit a weekend is as good as I'll get... </p> <p>@MrsKoala: Trying hard to get people to accept that. Problem is, between our parents, an aunt who lives two blocks away, and random others, it's still a visit every weekend...</p> <p>@avivoca: I'm glad you were able to draw some boundaries! It's so hard for people to hear that you love them, but you're grown up with your own family and have kind of flown the nest.</p> <p>@ktdid23: yes, we're the ones going. My MIL is not so young and refuses to make the trip. My grandma lives with my parents and her health hasn't let her travel for a long time now. I feel for them... just wish I had some magical way to stop all this from annoying me so much. Love your idea about swim class though :grin: I think I'll do just that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060060 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:36:41 +0000 ktdid23 2060060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you say you "have to go on weekends", do you mean you are always the ones to travel to see family? If yes, you NEED to find a way to tell your families that they need to come see you once in a while. Also... what if you just signed up for swim classes? </p> <p>I spent a lot of time worrying about other people's needs, and just very recently finally understand that MY little family needs to come first. So if you sign up for swim classes in the mornings on the weekend, can your extended families just come over after (if they want to see your child)? Or maybe plan something for the afternoon so if you go over in the morning, you have a hard deadline to leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060049 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:27:06 +0000 avivoca 2060049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would die. We had to put our foot down with family when my mom wanted us to visit all day twice a month. Could you tell him that you would like time to do things as a family and give the reasons you stated?</p> <p>It is hard, I know. My husband is also very outgoing and I am really shy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060046 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:24:33 +0000 MrsKoala 2060046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You gotta limit the visits to family a bit more to preserve your sanity. I'd say that going on these weekend visits should be once a month instead of every weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060043 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:22:53 +0000 ALV91711 2060043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd insist on either less frequent visiting or keeping the visits to a certain shorter length.</p> <p>Your own family time is important too. I'd be pretty grumpy if every weekend was spent with family and I couldn't do anything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-introverts-survival-tips#post-2060035 Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:19:35 +0000 Mama Bird 2060035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fellow introverts, do you find it hard if you have to be around family a lot? Any tips for keeping my mental health in good shape?</p> <p>Ever since B was born, we've spent every weekend in long family visits. Before, we'd just visit my parents or MIL for a couple of hours on our way from work, but with a kid it doesn't work out that way so we have to go on weekends and it turns into these day long visits. Plus our extended family wants to see him, so we go and visit them. </p> <p>I'm a constant ball of grumpiness. DH and DS are very outgoing, so DH really doesn't understand why I blow up every few weeks and tell him that I'm sick and tired of seeing family and will be happy to see them once a year. Plus I'd really like the chance to take B to a museum or sign up for pool time at the local Y instead of spending my days yakking. I just can't find the right words to make him understand that even if I love these people, it takes a lot out of me to see them so much. And that I'd love some of them more if I was around them less :bummed: </p>