https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 17:41:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1714317 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 18:46:43 +0000 IcebergMom 1714317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( I will just say that I hope summer ends fast for you. I'm tired just reading your plans for the week! Hang in there </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1714198 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 15:49:08 +0000 JennyD 1714198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You sound stressed out. We've all had times like this. Hang in there!</p> <p>When my husband is gone either for work or fishing(as he is this weekend), I do "fun" things like make only food I like (he hates stir fry, I love it). And I relax some of the rules, as it suits me. And I have leaned on my mil while my husband is gone. Sometimes I go over and she feeds us. And then I ditch LO there and get groceries (with a Starbucks or a jugo juice) and my iPod. I find those things have helped get me past the mental block of being a solo parent. I look forward to doing things on my schedule and find that often things go a little more smoothly.</p> <p>I know it feels far away, but it does get easier as they get older. Between age 1 and 2, I did a long commute with my LO that was miserable. That was a hard age for that. Soon Your LO will be easier to feed. Soon you will be able to trust her to play in her room while you shower. Soon she will want her hair blow dried too ;) </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1714116 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 14:31:11 +0000 Cherrybee 1714116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love you guys so much, thank you! I've just logged on after a really, really stressful day (I had a row with DH in the one hour I saw him for, Elliott had her first back arching tantrum as I tried to put her back in her car seat after the sofa shop, then she screamed round the entire supermarket) and it was so lovely to read your responses and know that someone somewhere was thinking of me and was sending hugs and strength. </p> <p>Ugh. DH came in from work at 12.30pm. He had to leave again at 1.30pm for the gig and was expecting to have an hour to "relax" - so I think he was pretty annoyed to find me and E still here and not shopping with my mum yet. He pulled me up on still being in my PJs, then went and lay on the bed. I went up to see what was wrong and he said "Why is it when you're not feeling happy, you insist on dragging everyone down with you? You did this last week before I left for my gig and I felt stressed all day because of you". I said that I have to shop him how unhappy I am with being left alone with the baby weekend after weekend. I explained that I have told him over and over but it doesn't change anything so I have to show him so he understands. I asked him not to book back to back gigs again..... and he said that I am being unreasonable. :sad: He said that I need to remember that he's "working" and "it's a long day for him too". I pointed out that he had a choice to accept the work, I didn't get a say in any of it. It dissolved into a bit of a row, basically..... </p> <p>@cmomma17: Thank you. I love a good brainstorm! Answer, though, is no I can't - I need to blow dry my hair every morning else my hair looks awful. Plus, the hairdryer wakes E up if I try to use it at night. </p> <p>@Anagram: @mossyslane: @Foodnerd81: @travelgirl1: A cleaner isn't happening!! Firstly, I'd never get the expenditure past DH - he stresses about money as it is! Plus, I clean every day!! I put E's toys away when she naps because I can't relax if I can see them!! I'm anxious at work if I haven't been able to clear E's breakfast things away...... :bummed: But a gardener is an idea.....! The lawns are driving me to distraction and I'm just not getting time to do them....</p> <p>@travelgirl1: I try finger foods frequently (she loves them for dinner) but at breakfast, when she's hyper, they get launched - then she cries for them. It's all good though because I have a spoon rotation system! I use two spoons and change after each mouthful (as the grabs the spoon I'm using). It's more the frustration it causes, when I'm already tired and grumpy. It's hard to be patient with her. </p> <p>@Lindsay05: Thank you. That's so lovely. </p> <p>@Mama Bird: I really love that saying, thank you! </p> <p>@Applesandbananas: LOVE the high chair idea. When she was little enough for the Bumbo, showering was easy. She used to love peekaboo around the shower curtain. Now she just pulls up on the toilet and the bathroom is so small - it's a porcelain death trap for unstable little girls! </p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Yeah, I guess I could ask the inlaws to pick her up on Wednesday. She's in nursery on Thursday so I will still have to drop off but I'm sure they would help on Weds. That's a good idea. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1714012 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 12:58:36 +0000 travelgirl1 1714012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gosh that sounds hard, I'm sorry. You do sound like you have some very good systems in place, but also very high standards/expectations of yourself. I can't believe you hoover every morning before work, you're amazing! Everyone has great suggestions and I can't emphasize enough how much of a difference hiring a cleaner has made to my stress levels and time availability. When you say E wrestles the spoon from you - could you try her with finger food instead? Then you could crack on while she eats. Something like oatmeal bars (Mrs Blue posted a quick and easy recipe on the blog that A loves) or fruit or something you can make ahead in a batch and freeze. I have to have A in the bathroom while I shower every day, I have special toys for her to play with on the floor and some empty shampoo bottles for her to mess about with. It"s not ideal but it stops her trying to climb into the toilet. I hope it gets easier for you soon or you get some beer garden time at least :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1714002 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 12:40:10 +0000 Lindsay05 1714002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg. No advice just have to say you are doing completely AWESOME at this parenting gig. Hope it settles down soon for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713996 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 12:24:52 +0000 Mama Bird 1713996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! I read somewhere once that when you're at an easy place in life, walk slowly with your head held high and savor it. And when you're in a tough place, pull up your collar and just keep walking faster... You'll get through it eventually.</p> <p>And you hoover every morning? On top of all that? You're Superwoman! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713960 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 11:35:24 +0000 looch 1713960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, been here. This is why I don't say it gets better, it just gets different!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713953 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 11:24:02 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1713953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I send you a hug. Hope things get better soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713854 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 09:24:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 1713854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds incredibly stressful! And I completely agree with you that this age is really tiring (I'm sure people with older babies will laugh, so whatever :) ) If C isn't getting into something I don't want her getting into, she's bored. </p> <p>I know it's really annoying when you just want to vent but instead people keep offering solutions, but.... some things I thought of while reading:<br /> -could you hire a cleaner once in a while so you don't have to do deep cleaning and can just do the daily tidying? OR, could you hire a babysitter to take E for a few hours so you could get stuff done to your liking in the house? I hate cleaning so I'd much rather hire someone to do that, but I think you are more particular than I am.<br /> -when DH takes E in the mornings so you can sleep in, could he take her out for a walk? Even if you can't fall back asleep completely, it could be nice to just lay there in silence and not worry that you should get up and play with them.<br /> -Can your ILs come to your house to watch E while DH is traveling? I can't remember if there was a reason they couldn't? </p> <p>Sorry you are having such a rough time right now. It will pass. And I'm glad your DH wised up and took off for E's birthday! How are they going to be ONE so soon??? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713803 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 08:36:24 +0000 Applesandbananas 1713803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there anyone you could swap childcare with on Saturdays? Even just for a few hours to have a lie-in/nap or do a few extra things around the house? </p> <p>When LO was going through the early waking and clumsy phases, I moved our routine around so that I got him ready first and dropped him off at daycare, then came home and got ready. I don't know if that would work for you, our daycare is in the opposite direction of work so I drive back by the house anyway. </p> <p>Do you have a play pen? My friend is a SAHM and when she HAS to get ready right then (for an appt or something, since usually she just showers during naps) she puts her LO in a pack n play by the bathroom door so she can see LO and LO plays pretty happily and is safe!</p> <p>I've also done something similar, but with a high chair. My LO loves bananas and I feel comfortable with him eating them without hawk-like supervision, so I will put him in the high chair outside the bathroom door and he eats a banana while I shower and we play peek a boo from behind the shower curtain. </p> <p>Hugs! This too shall pass! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713790 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 08:14:06 +0000 ElbieKay 1713790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Please learn to say no to your mom. It doesn't sound like you can afford the time to go shopping with her, and I don't see how that could possibly take priority over all of your other obligations unless you are in a position to quit your job.</p> <p>And if there are no legal or financial ramifications, just reschedule the doctor's appointment and/or don't plan to be home for it.</p> <p>Can you hire a cleaning service or a mother's helper to pitch in at home?</p> <p>I think you need to take some measures to remove some of this pressure. Please do not feel guilty for prioritizing your sanity. Hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713703 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 06:27:51 +0000 mossyslane 1713703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. I really get that feeling of needing the house to be clean to be able to relax. This may be out of budget, but when I was overwhelmed for awhile, we had a housekeeper come twice a month just for a few months, and it helped me to be able to catch up and feel better in other areas...All best wishes to you--and it does sound like things will get easier after the summer Saturdays are done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713696 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 06:19:07 +0000 sandy 1713696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry it's been so tough! It definitely sounds like things are really difficult right now and it's so understandable you feel incredibly overwhelmed. You are one hard working mama! Hang in there!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713694 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 06:18:35 +0000 Anagram 1713694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: well, I totally feel you on the busyness. I think just venting here will make you feel better. I know it made me feel better to unload here and I actually had more energy yesterday to get things done. I'm on day 2 of solo parenting for the weekend and except for yesterday morning when I was an hour late for work because of my LO, I'm surviving and feeling okay despite 4 wakeups and LO getting up for the day at 5:30 am.</p> <p>I know you've said your mom isn't too helpful,right? Who keeps E on the days she isn't at nursery? Could they help for a few hours on weekends so you can clean and grocery shop? Or as a special favor, can they come to your house just this next week to make it easier on you?</p> <p>And here's something strange I noticed last night---I did everything that my husband and I usually split (LOs solids dinner, bottle, bed time routine, wash daycare bottles and bowls, pump, wash pump parts, make/eat dinner, clean up dinner, prepare night bottles, tidy house, throw in a load of laundry).... But you know what was strange? I did it all without resentment because DH wasn't there and I wasn't seeing him sit on the couch WHILE I was doing all that stuff. So last night, I figured out that I don't have a time issue, I have a resentment issue.</p> <p>In your case, I think you resent your husband choosing to take on these extra jobs in the summer for money when you feel like you would rather have his help than the money....can you take the extra money he's earning and spend it on cleaners, or an overnight babysitter/night nurse so you can sleep in? Then when he sees you can't do it all alone, he may be more incentivized to take on less work?</p> <p>Or at the very least you'll have some help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713685 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 06:09:17 +0000 cmomma17 1713685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I'm sorry darling! :( let's brainstorm some ways you can change your routine. Can you switch to showering at night when LO is already asleep? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713667 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 05:44:14 +0000 Dandelion 1713667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw :( I'm sorry. It does get better, although I know it seems like you're stuck in it right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-obligatory-im-overwhelmed-post-its-long-sorry#post-1713628 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 03:24:16 +0000 Cherrybee 1713628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm overwhelmed and stressed out, peops. :sad: I'm sure I will be okay again really soon...... but this summer seems never ending (you will understand that statement soon). </p> <p>My DH works at a shop during the day. The hours are long - he starts at 7.30am some mornings, 8am others. He has to work every other Saturday morning, too. He also has a second job - he's a a sound engineer. This summer, he has accepted gigs most weekends (all day Saturdays and sometimes all night until the early hours, too). To do this, he has had to juggle his day-job Saturdays, so he will be working Saturday mornings for the foreseeable. There is no discussing this with him - he says we need the money (we don't but we have different priorities). I had to ask him to cancel a gig he had accepted on the day of our daughters first birthday party. My husband is 100% completely dedicated to our family and he works hard for us. He also does a lot of housework, cooking, laundry etc. He doesn't stop either!! I :heart: him. </p> <p>I've just started a new job. I commute 30 miles each way. It used to be 100 each way - but I only went in a couple of times per week and worked from home the rest. Now I have to go to work every single day. I drop Elliott at 7.30am Mon-Weds and pick her up gone 5. Then I have to drive home - by then, she's exhausted and grumpy. DH drops her at nursery Thurs and Fri - they are my "easy days" because I get to leave half an hour later and get ready in peace!</p> <p>It's the mornings that are the hardest. I've always been terrible in the mornings. Because DH has to leave to early, I do E's breakfast every single day. She wrestles the spoon off me, has mini-tantrums and it's really stressful! Then I grab a super quick shower while DH watches her, quickly before he leaves the house. I have to get ready every morning while watching a crazy pulling-up adventure-baby who, when she's not doing dangerous stunts, gets bored and whines!! </p> <p>Then the weekend comes and everyone at work has "that Friday feeling" and I know that 6.15am Saturday morning it will all start again. No lie-ins or pub gardens for me! Plus I've got meals to plan, shopping to do, the house to clean, my mum to deal with (she always *needs* something)... I could say to DH "You are solo parenting on Sunday" and take off somewhere but a) it's the only family time we get and b) I don't want to go out, I want to stay in bed! But I can't sleep with DH and E downstairs.....</p> <p>I don't sleep well. I never have. I need silence, complete dark, the works and I just don't have it with DH's snoring, his reading in bed, E's coughing in the night, DH coming in after a gig at 1am, my head full of work stuff..... I'm so tired. Then there's the cleaning. Yes, I know the house doesn't have to be perfect.... but I get anxious when it's not. I can't relax when it's not. I'm looking at it now (E is napping) and I feel physically sick because there's so much out of place.............</p> <p>........... I've got good systems. No, I've got GREAT systems for keeping on top of stuff but with leaving the house earlier now and with E being so much more demanding I'm no longer getting to hoover every morning. Sometimes, I don't get to empty the dishwasher. I'm fitting everything in in the evening, it's all good - but it's wearing me down. I feel like I never stop........</p> <p>...... and now to the final straw. DH is on a course for work and staying away for two days (Weds/Thurs) next week so I wont have anyone to help with anything - i will even need to do the Thursday drop off. I'm going to have to leave E crying in her cot to take a shower. Plus, he's taking the good car, so I will have to get E into a Nissan Micra with no back doors every morning. Oh and on the Wednesday I'm supposed to be in a meeting in London (3 hours away) but who's going to pick E up? I'm going to have to cancel my meeting (my boss will understand, I'm sure). Then I got home Friday to a letter from the health visitor casually informing me she will be visiting us at 2pm on Wednesday for E's 12 month check. No "is that convenient?".... I work FFS. I'm not a SAHM. I wanted to smash something! AAAAARGH!</p> <p>So that's me. I'm stressed and overwhelmed. I'm doing the "big shop" today, then taking my mum to look at sofas for her new flat. D is being really hard work this morning - she gets bored so easily. I just wish this summer was over so I at least get DH back on Saturdays. This is the fourth Saturday in a row he has had a gig - and he's doing a festival next weekend. </p> <p>If you've made it this far, thank you for listening to my vent. I needed to get it out. I felt really dizzy last night after I read that letter - you know how you feel if you get into a bath that's too hot? Then I remembered that the bath feeling is due to raised blood pressure, so I lay down and did some deep breathing. I need a break!! </p>