https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 01:12:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-977217 Wed, 31 Jul 2013 07:25:23 +0000 regberadaisy 977217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: "<i>I feel like everyone I know with a pre-baby "baby" dog, has felt a measure of truth as depicted by this author."</i></p> <p>Like others have said before you I think that's exactly it. If your dog was your "baby" before then you absolutely can see where the author is coming from. If your dog was/is just a "pet" to you then it's baffling to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-977211 Wed, 31 Jul 2013 07:20:32 +0000 BSB 977211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This article makes me so sad. I love my dog. I need to remember that my dog was my first baby and helped me get through my IF struggle. I know she won't get as much attention as she does now but I hope I remember to give her some love and attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-977033 Wed, 31 Jul 2013 00:01:00 +0000 shopaholic 977033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: The fur... oh the fur... and cat litter. :/ I guess basically the author sums up the inevitable. Your priorities as a parent change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976935 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 22:23:50 +0000 googly-eyes 976935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: We have/had a cat (someone else has her right now but she won't go back to the shelter or anything..), not a dog, but I agree with everything you wrote... especially about the fur on the hands. And since we have a cat..cat litter too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976881 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 21:41:55 +0000 Beebug 976881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This story is scary and it makes me sad that some can agree with it.</p> <p>Our dog gets his usual 3-4 walks a day, every single day, no matter the weather (Canada, lol, -15 and beyond we do minimal of course!). He is every bit a pet and not "my baby", doesn't sleep in our bed (never has, he sleeps by the front door), he is a crazy shedder (Golden Retriever), high maintenance (he's the dog that nearly died when he got his vaccines). We still make sure we take him to weekly class to get his work/fun time and since we've had LO he and I have started competing in agility trials. Our daughter adores him, he loves her and I expect the same with future LOs. We've worked hard with him from day 1 when he "moved in" to work with him/train him and make him our perfect dog, and aside from a few hiccups (baseboards chewed, issues with certain other dogs, you know, dog stuff!) he is an amazing addition to our family (pre-LO) and part of our family now that we have had our first baby! When she started crawling, I started vacuuming every day again, the hair on her hands makes me a little nutty, but does it change how our dog is in our lives? We committed to a Golden Retriever, lol, hair and shedding should be their middle name.</p> <p>I don't get it I guess. I see it in our neighbourhood dogs walked less or whatever, reading it here, but it's just foreign to me how that can happen. I know we're more active dog owners than average, but still. Sorry for seeming so frustrated/passionate about this, but I don't get why things have to change I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976639 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 19:47:21 +0000 shopaholic 976639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like everyone I know with a pre-baby "baby" dog, has felt a measure of truth as depicted by this author. I think her points and feelings might be a little extreme, but every week, I hear someone say how annoyed they are with their pets and/or they need to give their dog away. </p> <p>Our dog was definitely THE BABY in our house and treated as one. Even our extended family, everyone loves the dog. She's 10+ years now, and I've had her since she was 7 weeks old. I wouldn't give her away and her living arrangements haven't changed at all: she still gets to sleep with us and be on the sofa. We just don't nearly give her even 1/10th of the attention she used to get. Anytime she barks, it will drive me nuts if the baby happens to be sleeping. Her shedding never really bothered me before, but now I'm annoyed by it because it will get on the baby's hands and stuff. I don't think most people in a similar situation would get rid of the dog, but I DO see her point as people getting dog's right before having a baby to "test" if they are ready for kids. Those are ones I often see on FB asking if anyone will take their dog once they have a LO. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976604 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 19:20:09 +0000 yerpie110 976604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: thanks ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976408 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 17:13:28 +0000 LovelyPlum 976408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yerpie110: thank you. She's a pretty special girl, and we are really lucky to have her...even when I want to kill her ;) </p> <p>And yours is so cute!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976366 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 16:45:48 +0000 yerpie110 976366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: your dog sounds amazing! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976141 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 15:09:08 +0000 ShootingStar 976141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly can't imagine feeling the way the way the author does about her dog. But then, my dog is pretty low maintenance. She doesn't have accidents in the house, she never throws up, she doesn't get poop in her fur. She needs ~5 minute walks, three times a day. A few times week we have a dog walker. When it's nice out we go for a walk around our neighborhood at night, but she's fine without it. Occasionally we play fetch, but again she's usually fine without it. She also love loves loves little kids, and is super gentle with them.</p> <p>The thing that makes her most happy is sitting with us at night. She sits on the couch on/next to us, and then lays on our bed while we read/watch tv until she decides it's bed time and goes to her crate.</p> <p>I took responsibility for her and I am committed to being her forever home, barring any danger to my kids. If things get hard, we'll have to find a way to deal with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976079 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 14:50:05 +0000 deactivated_account 976079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BananaPancakes: I agree with all you said! Cheers, friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-976057 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 14:41:25 +0000 BananaPancakes 976057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: Totally agree with this sentiment. I think people who use dogs as baby placeholders might be a little more likely to be annoyed by the dog post-baby. </p> <p>Our dog was never anything more than our pet before baby. We love and care for her correctly, but she's still a dog. She does not sleep with us, isn't allowed on the couch, has a set of rules she is expected to follow and we don't pretend there's some human personality there that isn't (you know, because she's a dog). Therefore she is treated exactly the same with a baby in the house. Sure I hate when she rolls in poop, but I hated that before having a kid. She probably gets more attention now, because our son adores her, actually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975933 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 14:04:03 +0000 Maysprout 975933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've def had more moments of irritation with our dogs than before I had kids and they don't get as many runs or outings in, but they still live a really good life and they're good for LO. </p> <p>I did resent my older dog when LO was really little since I was so tired and he was acting out by pooping in her room and getting into trash and just being a pain and I just didn't have the energy for it. But we all settled back into a groove and adjusted but even though it's different than before LO I still really like that we have dogs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975919 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:57:48 +0000 HellOnHeels 975919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: No doubt!</p> <p>The writer is obviously stressed (3 kids and a high energy dog, who wouldn't be?!) and was either looking for sympathy and/or a place to lay it all out, so to say. I think she took the wrong approach, though. Instead of saying "Don't have a dog w/ kids" one could have explained how to handle those stresses better. For example, one comment on the article says that she could, "hire a dog-walker so that the dog can get the exercise it needs." Unfortunately, the writer is beyond that now and got slammed, big time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975870 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:45:24 +0000 Lindsay05 975870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pfft!! Dogs ARE family and the best thing for kids. We have one mega hyper dog who if doesn't get enough exercise will literally tear up the rugs. And our other dog will bite your head off if you try anything wrong. I think it's all about how you raise them and your living situations. We have lots of room for our dogs to run outside and burn off energy. If we were cooped up in a small apartment, then it would be very much troublesome. We would not be 'whole' if we didn't have our pooches. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975869 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:44:57 +0000 Mrs. Bee 975869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: @mrsjazz: i think cats and dogs are also different. </p> <p>dogs may be more time consuming on your limited time post kids, but cats can really act out and affect the safety of your child by pooping and peeing everywhere. and i can't even tell you how much furniture (beyond the sofas) our cat has ruined. </p> <p>i seriously should own stock in nature's miracle!</p> <p>i don't think our cat will ever get along with our kids because she hates loud fast-moving people. but i think she will be much happier when we move so that at least she can hide in our bedroom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975863 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:43:46 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 975863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DiamondEyes: I agree and that's the same feel I got from the writer. Getting poop on his fur = a soothing bath. What is that? She says cutting off the fur like its a bad thing. I'm sure the dog was fine with that. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975850 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:40:31 +0000 regberadaisy 975850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: absolutely agree with the pet &amp; child interaction! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975847 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:40:04 +0000 mrsog 975847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>one thing I'm most excited about is having both a dog and a baby. We have been saying that we want Tyson (our engligh bulldog) to be a puppy brother soon. I know hes good with kids too - I often have my 3 neices over. Although I suppose he is pretty low maintenance and sleeps all day anyway as it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975837 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:38:04 +0000 mrsjazz 975837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: I agree. I just also think that it IS about how the pet(s) are with the kids. If my cats weren't acting out I wouldn't be trying to find them a new home. But I've exhausted all the options (plug-in hormones, vet visits) and nothing's working. Over this weekend they peed on two of her puzzles and her little bathtub. I just can't anymore.</p> <p> @FutureMrsMcK: Yeah, we don't want to go the shelter route either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/3#post-975835 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:37:30 +0000 lovehoneybee 975835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: @mrsjazz: We're in a similar situation with an acting-out cat (one of three). I've lost count of how many times and places she's peed (but always on/near LO's stuff or where he plays). And once she scratched him. I almost opened the front door to let her "run away" that night. Ironically, she's also the "friendliest" with him...in that she'll sometimes let him pet her. The other two pretty much just hide, and that's fine. </p> <p>We've been looking for someone to adopt her...preferably a friend or at least someone we know. I don't want to turn her over to a shelter or something like that, but I'm reaching the end of my rope with her. I never thought I'd be in a position to think about getting rid of a pet, but it's just not okay for me to worry that my kid is playing in a pee-spot on the rug because she's decided to use it as a litter box for the umpteenth time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975832 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:37:01 +0000 regberadaisy 975832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DiamondEyes: I think you hit the nail on the head.</p> <p>I would never give our pup up; she's a part of the family. It's been amazing joy to us seeing our daughter interact with our pup. It is so clear to us that she loves her dearly. We will always be a pet family, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975822 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:35:13 +0000 mrsog 975822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think this author is a bit dramatic. I know I'm not in the situation yet but I just don't see going from loving something like family to hating it and wishing I never had it. I know lots of families that have dogs when their baby is born and there is definitely an attention shift but not so much where they regret ever having the dog! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975817 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:34:34 +0000 Mrs. Bee 975817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: i do think the article is a little extreme, but i do understand her point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975810 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:33:17 +0000 HellOnHeels 975810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In this day and age, owners put their dogs on the same level as people. I see posts on my FB newsfeed the likes of, "My animals are my children, get over it." "You don't like my pets, I don't like you." and so on. I don't mean to be judgemental, but it irks me, just a little. I digress, though.<br /> So when couples actually have children, those animals are put and treated on the level they should be; as pets. They're fed, taken to the vet, walked (if need be) and most of all, are loved and cared for. And the owners feel like they're doing a disservice to their pet now. Just because you don't dote on the animal all the time, buy it expensive toys, treats or food, etc. doesn't mean you're a bad owner. All they want is the basics, and if you can provide it, there is nothing wrong with owning a pet when you have small children.<br /> I, for one, am glad that we have 2 dogs that I can teach our future children about; how to properly take care of them, how to treat them and how to love one, so they can understand the joys of owning a PET. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975805 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:32:25 +0000 LovelyPlum 975805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: I so hope this is the case! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975804 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:32:22 +0000 regberadaisy 975804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree; everyone's life is different. Everyone's child, pet is different. IF something has to give it's going to be the dog NOT my child.</p> <p>I'm not advocating people giving up their pets bc we saw BIL do that in haste bc he couldn't be bothered. Not that his dog was a danger to their children and it sickened us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975795 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:31:14 +0000 mrsjazz 975795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: This is why we are currently looking for some single or childless folks to take our cats. Both our cats have been acting out horribly since LO was born and nothing is working. I'm pretty sure they hate her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975792 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:30:41 +0000 looch 975792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navy_Mommy: Yes, you can in some instances, you're right, but I've seen it numerous times where a baby comes into the picture and the pet is put up for adoption. That's how my brother got his dog, actually. Owners in the city had a baby, didn't have time for the dog, so the dog was put up for adoption.</p> <p>I guess I am not surprised by the article, that's all. I can totally see how it happens. There aren't always enough hours in the day to do everything we want, so if something has to give, it is the pet. I am not expecting everyone to agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-one-thing-no-one-tells-you-before-you-have-kids/page/2#post-975781 Tue, 30 Jul 2013 13:28:36 +0000 Navy_Mommy 975781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: I agree with that 100% We were concerned our chi-weenie would be a problem (she's a chihuahua dachshund mix and very particular about who she likes) but she LOVES our son. She avoids other toddlers like the plague but as long as she has a blanket to burrow under she feels safe and never acts out. </p>