https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 18:03:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-rise-of-the-mean-girl-archetype-prevalent-or-not#post-679210 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 15:33:51 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 679210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @MrsJacks - we all have a mean girl side, and we all have a bullied girl side. Really, they're just the opposite sides of the same coin. When we're insecure, we're more likely to be bullied (or take offense to things people say), but we're also more likely to be judgmental of others.<br /> I was teased as a kid, for being super nerdy, but I wouldn't call it 'bullying'. I was different, and different kids stand out. I kind of took pride in it.<br /> I've also been the mean girl, when I felt terrible about myself. Its easy to say hurtful things about people when you believe those hurtful things about yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-rise-of-the-mean-girl-archetype-prevalent-or-not#post-679189 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 15:12:23 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 679189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting article. I was the mean girl once in 7th grade. I wanted to revisit all the preteen angst that had been visited on me on the girl who was super mean and dramatic to me. I was the smallest in my class. I got teased a lot. I had a few people really pick on me.</p> <p>I came into social situations insecure, but became much more insecure because I was picked on. It wasn't until college when I started emerging from the chaos, and even then my confidence was paper thin. Just below the surface was the girl waiting to be picked on.</p> <p>It took years for me to realize I was really a smart, pretty, accomplished person. Lots of work went into that realization. And sometimes even now, I don't believe people when they say these things. I'm like "yeah right. You just haven't realized that it's all a sham, yet"</p> <p>But even now, when I'm stretched (like lately), I can easily end up right back in that teeny tiny place. Usually, I'm pretty tough, but when I'm tired and unsure and challenged to the max it doesn't take much. </p> <p>I'm not saying that the people I allow to make me feel this way are necessarily mean girls... But it can really easily feel that way. I know it's my responsibility to establish boundaries to prevent such feelings, but it's hard when your coping resources are limited.</p> <p>So yes, I think everyone has an inner mean girl and everyone has an inner bullied girl. We're a mix. And it's raw and that's why I try hard to be kind as much as I can, in the hopes that I get the same in return. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-rise-of-the-mean-girl-archetype-prevalent-or-not#post-679163 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 14:35:41 +0000 Anagram 679163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This little article got me thinking: </p> <p><a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/03/14/i_was_a_mean_girl_i_got_my_revenge_20_years_later.html?wpisrc=obinsite" rel="nofollow">http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/03/14/i_was_a_mean_girl_i_got_my_revenge_20_years_later.html?wpisrc=obinsite</a></p> <p>The article isn't that great---it's basically a puff piece, but one paragraph that stood out to me: </p> <p>"find a mother of a girl, any age will do, and I’ll bet she has an anecdote about a mean girl who has harmed her or her daughter. I'll bet another dollar that you will NOT hear that mother reflect on instances of her own mean behavior..."</p> <p>I've said this before in a bullying thread: I was never bullied. I can think of exactly one instance in my entire life when someone sort of tried to bully me---a random girl a year older than me came up to me at a school dance in middle school, asked if I'd been staring at her boyfriend and said she wanted to beat me up--even at that age, I thought the whole thing was laughable. We were surrounded by teachers and parents in the school cafeteria, I didn't know who she was or who her boyfriend was, so I had no interest in either of them and told her that. Then I walked away (in what I imagined was a haughty way at the time) and nothing else happened.</p> <p>But after reading this...I realized I can't even really think of any times I experienced a true Mean Girl. I had friends who suddenly became BFFs with someone else, but sometimes that person that suddenly had a new BFF was me, and I never took it hard either way. I'm the same way as an adult. My friend circle is pretty fluid...sometimes either I or a friend moves away, and I don't take it personally, I just move on. I'm literally not bothered by it.</p> <p>Maybe it's because I'm from a big family, so I never needed to be "needed" as much by outside friends? Maybe I've just been lucky to be a woman who escaped the Mean Girl phenomenon unscathed? Maybe I'm too oblivious to recognize the barbs and minefields other women are setting up for me? Maybe it's a combination of all of these things?</p> <p>What have your experiences been with Mean Girls (both as an adult and growing up)? Is this something you've experienced a lot? Do you think the author is right that pretty much every woman experiences it and is the Mean Girl herself at times?</p> <p>Tell me about your experiences with Mean Girls and if/how you've been a Mean Girl yourself. I do have a couple of instances where I know I've been perceived as a Mean Girl, but I would say being mean was not my intention---I'll post more about it after I see some other people's responses. </p>