https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 01:39:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922177 Wed, 20 Jan 2021 13:46:03 +0000 hellobeeboston 2922177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: ugh, that is frustrating.... it really helped me to see how much time I was spending, YIKES, how eye opening... that plus the time limits helped. There was a game I used to play all. the. time on my phone. I very recently deleted it, and it was a game that if you delete, you lose all of the progress, so starting over wouldn't really be an option. I was actually sad about it for a day, but now I'm really glad I'm rid of it..... I mean, like I mentioned above I'm actively trying to cut my phone out of my day and stop looking at it so much. Your husband will need to want to put it down on his own. I admit the game I played was a nice escape, and if I could've kept it to 20 minutes a day I think that would be fine, but I couldn't. I was really starting to feel like my life was passing me by too quickly and my stupid phone was taking up way too much of that precious time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922176 Wed, 20 Jan 2021 09:23:24 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2922176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: the book sounds so practical and helpful. I’m glad it’s working for you! I definitely need to move my email off my first screen. </p> <p>@foodiebee: I’m sorry. I know it’s such a helpless feeling. I hate that phones have stolen so much of our time with people we love. I hate how distracted people are. Thankfully my DH has gotten better. </p> <p>He broke his heel two months ago, and it made a huge difference in his screen time. I had a heart to heart with him when it first happened. I avoided pointing fingers and blaming. I basically just shared how his phone use made me feel like we were not as important to him. I asked if he could use it when he was alone, and please try to be present with me and the kids. For some reason. It worked! I’m just crossing everything it lasts. He even bragged to me the other day, that his screen time was down 40%. </p> <p>I hope you can talk to your husband and get him onboard with limiting his use around your son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922164 Tue, 19 Jan 2021 10:10:20 +0000 foodiebee 2922164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: My husband plays games on his, and he's 1000% addicted to them. He won't even turn on the screentime options on his iPhone (the one that tell you how much time you've used, etc.) because he doesn't want to know. It inflames me to no end that he will not set a better example for DS, who at 19mo is already very prone to screens. I hate it with a passion and don't know what to do about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922163 Tue, 19 Jan 2021 09:43:39 +0000 JennyPenny 2922163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I implemented another tip from the book over the weekend and it's been really helpful I think. I moved all the tools I use regularly that *don't* suck me in (weather, my kids' daycare app, podcasts) to the first screen and moved everything that I end up checking out of compulsion (email, chat/messages, news) off the home screen. It's great! Now nothing on my home screen distracts me and I can just check the weather or start a podcast without seeing 5 unread messages or anything like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922160 Mon, 18 Jan 2021 21:33:09 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2922160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: Agreed! It really is all ads, and everything is so glossed over and perfect. I don’t miss either platform at all. </p> <p>@foodiebee: Thanks for sharing what you do! This is such a great idea! I always leave my phone on the kitchen counter, but I really like the idea of the charging hub!</p> <p> I have talked to a few friends about this, and we all feel our husbands are way more addicted to their phones. It’s so hard for me to not say something when DH is on his, so I usually do, and it sometimes does cause arguments. I refuse to let my children think his phone is more important than their attention though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922148 Mon, 18 Jan 2021 13:22:35 +0000 foodiebee 2922148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: Agreed re FB.</p> <p>I just wanted to pop back over here to share the thing I've done that has helped me with social media in case it's helpful to anyone else. Not a big thing and didn't take a lot of investment. I bought a "charging hub" where I dock my phone when I'm downstairs. I told myself that this is where my phone goes and it stays there. I'm not constantly running around wondering where I left it and losing it, I'm not grabbing for it during any brief break to load social media and dumb scroll, and I can get to a phone call or urgent text easily. It has helped to break me from needing the phone physically on me all the time. It also means that I have to make an effort to get it, which clues me in to how many times I'm reaching for it each day. </p> <p>For me, it's been helpful. If only I could get my husband to do it. He's seriously addicted to his phone, knows it, and doesn't seem to care. :(</p> <p>This is similar to what I bought: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Charging-Multiple-Organizer-Cellphone-Included/dp/B07Q2TSDH1/ref=sr_1_5" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Charging-Multiple-Organizer-Cellphone-Included/dp/B07Q2TSDH1/ref=sr_1_5</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922119 Sat, 16 Jan 2021 16:34:11 +0000 MoonMoon 2922119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: @JennyPenny: thank you for the book recommendation! I just checked it out from the library, ironically it's checked out to my phone, haha. But I look forward to reading it.</p> <p>I haven't been on FB in years, but I'm realizing that Instagram has slowly become such a garbage fire. It's all ads and almost never makes me feel better after using it.</p> <p>Also with Parler getting all the attention, I don't think FB has gotten enough criticism in its role enabling far right conspiracies, hate, and misinformation. Remember they refused to ban Bannon after he said Dr Fauci should be beheaded... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922099 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 16:23:03 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2922099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: same here! I got my first Nokia my senior year in high school, and my first Smartphone sometime in College. I really wish there was something we could do, to give our kids the same experience too 😞 DH works from home now, and I think he is running into the same issues as you. It’s so hard. </p> <p>@JennyPenny: The same thing happens to me with texts. They make me feel so distracted, anticipating the next one. I don’t want to keep doing it! It does rob us of precious moments with family. </p> <p>I’m starting to feel a similar anxious feeling with my Apple Watch. Sometimes I “think” I feel it vibrate, so I’m constantly checking it. I haven’t worn it the past few days, and I do feel better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922097 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 15:11:07 +0000 hellobeeboston 2922097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: oh no, i haven't gotten to that yet :shocked: </p> <p>I already have my social media buried on my phone, and I have time limits set. I haven't read the book yet but all social media is blocked on my computer due to work, so my phone is the only place I can view them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922094 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 10:56:15 +0000 JennyPenny 2922094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: Cool! Have you gotten to the plan yet? I'm on the day when I'm supposed to delete social media from my phone but I struggled to pull the trigger. Instead I buried them inside a group so they're more out of sight :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922093 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 10:54:47 +0000 JennyPenny 2922093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: Exactly! I don't think I ever would have noticed before reading the book, but anxiety is exactly the feeling I now associate with my phone. Like the other night I was playing with my kids and noticed a text message from a friend that a daycare teacher was leaving. Suddenly that was all I could think about and I couldn't just focus on playing with my kids anymore. I wanted to keep checking my phone too for a response to my questions. It completely took the fun out of the moment :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922090 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 09:28:07 +0000 hellobeeboston 2922090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: absolutely. I'm in that micro generation that grew up without the internet/phones, etc, and it all became a thing at the end of high school. I had my first phone in college, and didn't have a smart phone until I finished college... I wish all kids could have that experience growing up without all of this tech. It's hard for me to limit it when I am on my computer/phone all day for work, and now with WFH life, more time with computer/phone spilling into hours that used to be reserved for just family time. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922089 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 09:25:27 +0000 hellobeeboston 2922089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyPenny: I am also reading that book right now!! ha! so far it's good... I hope it helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922088 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 18:59:12 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2922088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m just very thankful I grew up in a time without a smartphone. I at least remember what life was like before phones were in everyone’s hands, all the time. It’s really sad and overwhelming to me. I hate it for our kids... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922087 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 18:55:56 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2922087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: it definitely makes me sad and scared for our kids! I’m holding out hope that with more awareness, we can change! </p> <p>@hellobeeboston: I feel the addiction too. Even without social media, I have to make an effort to do the same things as you, and I keep it in different rooms. It does help me! I’m right there with you, and I plan to keep smartphones out of their hands until high school. </p> <p>@JennyPenny: Thanks for sharing this! I’m going to read it! I 100% feel worse after being on my phone. I know this sounds weird, but I feel like my phone makes me feel more anxious and nervous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922084 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 16:46:32 +0000 JennyPenny 2922084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: I’m also reading “How to Break Up with Your Phone” right now. It’s got a 30-day plan to follow. I’m only on day 3 right now and you start by observing your patterns. It’s super insightful. I really noticed that most of the time my phone makes me feel worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922082 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 14:31:31 +0000 hellobeeboston 2922082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I watched it - I did know about a lot of it already but it completely works on me, I'm definitely addicted to my phone - it's so bad. I find it hard to limit social media right now due to covid... I feel like it's the only way to keep connected to so many that I cannot see right now. Facebook for me is my connection to whats going on in my town and a group of moms I'm close to. I've started leaving my phone in a different spot in the house to try to only check it a couple times a day. I get calls on my Watch.... I'm so nervous for my kids to get older and the inevitable fight to get a smartphone. Hoping to keep them off social media as long as possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922081 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 14:06:50 +0000 foodiebee 2922081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I watched it and was aware of a lot of it going into watching. I do not have FB, Snapchat, Tiktok... (only Instagram and Twitter) and already limit my time on social media/screens. I think it's important for people to understand how they're being monetized/rewired/etc., but I also don't see how society will change at this point. It makes me a bit sad for my DS. Who knows what it will be like when he gets older... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922078 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 11:40:53 +0000 JennyPenny 2922078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also watched it and while I knew much of it in theory, having it all discussed in that format was really powerful I thought. I didn't delete my accounts put I put time limits on them. One other thing I found as well is it also gave me a lot of empathy. When I think about some relatives who post things that seem completely disagreeable to me, I realize that the news and bubble on their feeds looks completely different from mine and that probably shapes so much of what they think and feel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-social-dilemma#post-2922077 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 11:21:03 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2922077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone seen it yet? I watched it a few months ago, and it was really eye opening to see how Social Media platforms are shaping/changing our lives, and some of the ways are frightening. It prompted me to delete all of my accounts (except this one), and I have really felt a sense of relief, now that all the “noise” is gone. I am in no way judging people who use social media. DH still has it. I was just wondering if anyone else has seen it and has any thoughts on it. </p>