https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 15:50:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770398 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 23:17:02 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2770398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DD drops my hand or tries to pull away I get down on her level and tell her she can hold my hand and walk or she can be carried. I tell her it's her choice. The next time she tries to pull away I pick her up. Then I tell her she made the choice to be carried. I don't really care if she kicks or screams. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770392 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 22:21:14 +0000 MamaG 2770392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In places where I can't warn like leaving daycare. When we hit outside holding my hand is a requirement if she flops she gets carried. She cries while carried and I just explain that I need her to be safe and that means holding hands walking or being carried. By not holding my hand she made the choice to be carried. We are closing in on 3 and this is less of a battle </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770388 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 21:52:56 +0000 Mama Bird 2770388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ahhh DD is two and she's started doing this for reasons no one can understand. Like, she's going somewhere she actually wants to be, and she'll stop in the middle of the sidewalk and just stand there with this thunderous look on her face. She's very verbal, but will not explain what this is about. </p> <p>We've been giving her a few requests to go nicely, then carrying her. That's not always an option of course, so we've also tried "look there's a squirrel let's chase it!" And then one time DH was picking her up from day care and he wasn't feeling up to any of this, so he just stood there for ten minutes while she got over whatever was bothering her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770292 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 14:29:24 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2770292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In addition to warnings for transitions, for that age they get "do you want to walk or should I carry you?" And that's that. And with both kids we have stuck to pretty strict routines (for getting ready/bed/nap.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770276 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 14:10:30 +0000 MsMini 2770276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids get the 5 and 2 minute warnings and then we go. If they flop they get carried. I won't sit around and bribe, cajole and reason with them 24/7. It's not that easy, especially now when I am 29 weeks pregnant and my DD is 36 pounds but she is getting the idea that the drop/flop doesn't win. Ever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770272 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 14:04:23 +0000 KT326 2770272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At that age we would use a timer and give lots of warnings. Then when he listened we praised the heck out of it. We were having a tough time with tantrums and our pediatrician told us to praise and acknowledge all the little things he does when he listens. Positive reinforcement worked pretty well for us. But when he was in the middle of a tantrum we either had to wait it out or if we were out of the house, pick him up and remove him from the situation. </p> <p>@Shree1990: this never would have worked for us in the middle of a tantrum. Once he is gone we would have to wait it out. We always talked about it after though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770269 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 13:57:43 +0000 BSB 2770269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD has been doing this for a few months now and now DS has learned how to do it. They both have a language delay but DD is slightly more behind. So it started out of frustration. We started sign language and it has somewhat helped but she still does it when she doesn't get her way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770249 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 13:30:37 +0000 Shree1990 2770249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yeah, this one is a particularly challenging time. Try asking him questions about his behaviour. Ask him to explain what does his tantrum actually signify? What does he aim to achieve through it. This will encourage him to be quiet to at least think. This will allow you to direct his behaviour toward big boy territory. Ask whether what he is doing is what big boys do. Maybe even suggest an alternative. Say so if you were a big boy, how would you react, would it be this way or would it be to tell me your issue and we can together solve it. Just like a puzzle. Now this may allow the child to not view you as an adversary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770235 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 12:54:17 +0000 caterw 2770235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: God bless Daniel Tiger- we use him all the time to help us out!</p> <p>We also give a five and a two minute warning. I will then "leave without her", which usually prompts her to follow (even though she is crying/ screaming about being all alone but at least she is coming...). I usually only pick her up and physically remove her from a situation if it's dangerous or we have a time crunch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770206 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 11:43:21 +0000 gingerbebe 2770206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did the fake "time to go." Like we would be at the park and say "okay, time to go" knowing we were going to be there for a little while longer. That helped better than warnings because it made him feel like he got a little extra play time out of us. When our son would protest and start fussing and we would say "okay, you can go down the slide 3 more times but then we have to go okay?" He would be excited and say yes, we would count each time he went down the slide, then before the last slide, we would make a big deal like "okay, this is the LAST time and then we have to go bye bye right?" We would make him acknowledge us, then let him slide again, then he'd sorta whine to go slide some more but we would remind him that he agreed we could go. And then we distracted through the transition like, "should we have some fruit snacks?" (YEAH!!) "okay then lets go to the car and have fruit snacks okay?" (OKAY!)</p> <p>Like others said, it got a lot better as he got more verbal and we could reason a bit. We are also big on the really loud kitchen timer and do not feel bad busting it out whenever, wherever. We also lavishly praise when he DOES do the transition (leave the park without throwing a tantrum, for example) by giving him high fives and verbally complimenting him and giving him a fruit snack or two (they were always in my purse). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770184 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 09:04:09 +0000 Foodnerd81 2770184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I agree- this is making me grateful that my kids are on the smaller side. I did a lot of carrying my 2 year old kicking and screaming. I also started taking the stroller everywhere so I could force her into that instead of carrying her home, even walking to the park ablock away. Warnings and timers just didn't help. Sticker chart had limited success. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770174 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 07:41:38 +0000 MrsADS 2770174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I try to use all tactics to avoid this occurring - I find usually it is related to him being tired/hungry. We tried to go to a later service at church yesterday and the flop happened (too close to naptime!). I just pick him up kind of like a sack of potatoes and go. Not easy since he's screaming and fighting. He is on the lighter side (26 lbs) so for those of you with huge kids that might not be possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770165 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 07:07:50 +0000 wrkbrk 2770165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: Oh lord yes. Following. Literally just entered this phase yesterday. It was time to leave the bounce house and he dropped to the ground like a rag doll. Thankfully minus the screaming (so far) but he's really too heavy for me to carry him when he's purposely limp and arching his back. Charming! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770155 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 05:20:46 +0000 autumnleaves 2770155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use a sand timer and let him know in 5 minutes...The public place flop is harder. Trying to reason with him before starting to walk across the parking lot or street did not help. It was a phase and we had to put him in the stroller and give him lots of fruit snacks during that time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770152 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 04:36:35 +0000 Ms. RV 2770152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD loves Daniel Tiger so when she does the toddler flop, I sing the "when you can't get what you want stomp three times and make yourself feel better" song. Four out of five times she chills out. I have no idea why she is so responsive to it and it probably won't last but right now it works! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770140 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 00:49:37 +0000 Raspberry 2770140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS also had a terrible time with transitions. Closer to 2.5 was when it started to get better, so part of it is riding out the phase. The things that helped me the most were giving multiple warnings before a transition and talking through the transition (describing what we were doing and why we were doing it, and all the great things that were waiting at the next activity). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-toddler-flop#post-2770139 Mon, 28 Aug 2017 00:25:34 +0000 macintosh 2770139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 2 and he's a in an independent phase, to put it mildly. If I need him to stop playing to get dressed, for potty, etc, he will scream and throw himself on the floor. I think I've been wasting time fighting it by picking him up and carrying him. I don't as googling and the advice was to walk away and wait.</p> <p>We also encounter this behavior when we're outside walking out of a store or away from daycare. If he doesn't feel like listening, he will drop my hand and run or just drop to the pavement. Any suggestions on handling this in a more productive way, or preventing it? He does enjoy being praised for "big boy behavior". He's getting too big to pick up when he's fighting it. </p>