https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 00:29:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1197774 Tue, 05 Nov 2013 16:22:09 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1197774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The adults on one side of my family do not exchange gifts, but rather make a donation to an organization that is close to their heart in the name of the other family members. The other family we just tend to do gifts for the kids. I also make cookies/candy for the neighbors and people at work.</p> <p>We always do philanthropy too -- like adopt a family and give gifts to the kids type of thing, coat drive, canned food drive, etc.</p> <p>My husband's family still provides us with lists of things they want -- mind you there are no children in the family. It's always made me uncomfortable. But I think MIL likes "things" (she will *never* give a gift card, but instead buys tons of stuff from the dollar store just bc she loves to see people open gifts -- I end up donating 95% of the stuff I receive from her). I feel like I have to give a list of things I want because the one year I didn't give them a list I got a lava lamp from uncle and 4 lamps and flameless candles from MIL.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1197732 Tue, 05 Nov 2013 16:04:54 +0000 cmomma17 1197732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Confetti: I think I just have to decide what I believe in and what I want to do and stick to it. My problem is getting my feelings hurt, or getting too emotional when my family is ridiculous. I think we might just set a budget and do just one gift for all of the adults this year. Maybe 2 gifts for my nephew (soon to be 14). (see? that's me caving in to the pressure!).</p> <p>I'm excited to teach LO about giving back to the community, I just can't decide what our first experience together will be! :) I might do a food bank donation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1196253 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 23:02:45 +0000 misolee 1196253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>philanthropy--there's a lot that you can do as a family, especially during the holiday season. it can be volunteering your time at a place (maybe when your children are older) or donating meaningful gifts. I've always done shoebox gifts (Operation Christmas Child) before LO but now that LO is older, it's a fun way for her to get "involved" by picking out gifts to give.</p> <p>for extended family gifts--we have a huggge family (my grandmother had 11 kids) and couple of years ago, we stopped doing gifts bc it was getting so out of hand. grandma always gets a gift (she's 94!) and we do a "white elephant" and whoever wants to participate brings a gift</p> <p>for our family of 3--we don't really do gifts. hubby's not a big gift giver, LO doesn't really know better, and I would rather buy things during the after christmas sale when items are much cheaper ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1196154 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 21:54:24 +0000 Mae 1196154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I &lt;3 Christmas and I don't really care much about gifts. Mostly I just try to make it about traditions. My favorite parts of Christmas are the Christmas season generally-- not the day itself. I love Christmas music and and Christmas decor everywhere. I love baking Christmas cookies to give away. I love Christmas movie nights every Friday (often with friends). And the best part about gifts is having fun shopping for them with my mom or husband. </p> <p>To me, the season is just about happiness and togetherness and family. Not about the gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1196138 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 21:45:40 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1196138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: Thanks! Even though I'm no longer working in the nonprofit world, I am happy to share what I know :) We are in the same boat with student loan debt, and also get chewed out for not really buying much/enough for nephews/niece. Drives me nuts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195167 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:17:57 +0000 lovehoneybee 1195167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beaker: We do a Yankee Swap (or White Elephant) for the adults in D's family. It's always a load of fun to play, and we set a $20 limit, so that's all we spend for the adults. We still get gifts for the children, though. </p> <p>I have no advice. I love giving people things so much so this is really hard for me. We do sponsor a child around E's age from a local women and children's home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195156 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:13:26 +0000 cmomma17 1195156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Confetti: I loved your series, thank you for sharing it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195154 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:13:04 +0000 cmomma17 1195154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@locavore_mama: I JUST noticed boxes of thanksgiving meals at my grocery store this week! I don't know how much they cost but I thought it was really cool!<br /> I just want to do something (doesn't have to be the same each year) and explain to LO that not everyone has what we have and we should think of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195149 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:11:24 +0000 cmomma17 1195149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: We are better off than a lot of people too, roof over our head and no one is skipping meals. Part of the problem is debt we are paying off, so we don't have "extra" money for gifts. My sister takes personal offense that I don't want to rack up credit card debt to buy her perfume and video games for my nephew.<br /> Last year for my nephew's birthday (in January) I baked him butterfinger cupcakes (his favorite candy) and took him to the movies. I got chewed out for not giving him a real present. :( Seriously? So my immediate family is not into things like quality time, or DIY. :(<br /> DH will embrace any traditions I initiate, but he looooves Christmas too and sees it as the only time of the year that he gets fun stuff!<br /> I haven't been able to give my nephew books for a few years now so I feel you there! :)</p> <p>I think I'm going to come up with a list of things I'd like to do (music we can listen to, baking, going to see Christmas light displays, books we can read, etc.). And maybe I will limit my family to one gift each this year and just deal with the consequences after? Our tight budget will limit us anyways so maybe I'll use that as my excuse! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195144 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:09:08 +0000 heartonastring 1195144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*sigh*</p> <p>I tried to do this with my family a few years ago. I said that there was really nothing I truly needed and so instead of gifts I would appreciate a donation being made in my name, in the true spirit of the season. I asked my family if they would like me to do the same for them. My mum and stepdad were on board. My dad's side totally turned their noses up at it and I believe my dad (who can afford to get himself pretty much anything he wants) said, "What do you mean no presents?!" So, despite the fact that I was unemployed at the time, I got them gifts, while they made a donation in my name. It infuriates me to this day. </p> <p>Anyhow, I continue to ask for a donation in lieu of gifts, and that side of my family continues to ask for gifts. It is so, so stupid to me. When I ask them what they want they have to think about it for days to come up with a list, because there's nothing they truly need, but they continue to want material goods.</p> <p>End rant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195129 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:03:59 +0000 regberadaisy 1195129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>!! @deerylou: she's amazing!! She's my mommy hero. LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195124 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:02:47 +0000 deerylou 1195124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@locavore_mama: That's pretty cool that your cousin is so committed to her community. I'm sure her daughter greatly benefits from the experience! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195119 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:02:03 +0000 Silva 1195119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have done some reading into waldorf traditions, and they are really helping me to be mindful about how I want to handle holidays. Might be worth looking into</p> <p>Eta: this is in part because we are not religious, but want to have traditions that evoke a sense of sacredness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195081 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:53:24 +0000 regberadaisy 1195081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: it does not have to be a lot! I know around the holidays my grocery store prepackaged bags of "meals' at check out. Ranging from $3 - $20. $3 is less than a cup of coffee from sbux. That is less than a breakfast sandwich. But it can be a meal for a family.<br /> Or you can just volunteer your time! A few hours at the city mission. My cousin in law is a sahm with a toddler. She takes her toddler with her on meals on wheels delivery to senior citizens. It doesn't cost her more than some gas. She gives her time and teaches her daughter about volunteering and gives lonely old people the joy of a child in their day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195059 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:46:49 +0000 regberadaisy 1195059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beaker: on my side it was along time coming. We have found ourselves struggling to find useful gift ideas for each other. So last year I just talked to my SIL and said why don't we just not do gifts for each other and concentrate on the kids?<br /> I think when everyone has children it's easy to take adults out of the equation. My mom will still be getting a gift from us though! </p> <p>As for DH's side. Dh and I decided we are going to stop getting gift for each other. We are not well of by any stretch of the word. But what we definitely are is more fortunate than a lot of other families in this country. We decided regardless we will sponsor a family. We offered the option up to my ILs and BIL one night over a family dinner. We kinda presented it like we are doing this. If you guys are interested then we can sponsor a larger family. My ILs and BIL were very receptive to the idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195055 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:45:46 +0000 mrsjazz 1195055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to start a family tradition of DIY gifts. This year DH and I are making a play kitchen for LO. We want to make her and each other something every year to show her that doing nice things for each other doesn't necessarily mean spending a lot of money.</p> <p>ETA: With my family we also just instituted a $25-30 spending limit on adult gifts, which is a big change from the past. We were talking about secret Santa for this year to cut down on adult gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195052 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:45:13 +0000 deerylou 1195052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bpcmarj: @stargal: Experiences like the ones you ladies mentioned are what I fondly remember from my childhood. I enjoy those things so much more than gift opening (although, like most people, I do enjoy a thoughtful, coveted gift). They create lasting memories, rather than a few months of use.</p> <p>@locavore_mama: I've thrown out the idea of sponsoring a family with my in-laws. I think it's a lovely idea, and such a nice way to teach the younger generation about giving.</p> <p>@Mrs. Confetti: Thank you so much; I will check out your blog posts, now. Sounds like a good series for me to read, right now.</p> <p>@cmomma17: I so know what you mean about giving when you don't have much, yourself. With me not working, we definitely need to be far more frugal. That being said, we don't struggle to put food on the table, so I know I have more than some. I also cringe at the way our nephews act around the holidays. Everything revolves around video games systems, games, and technology. I got one of them the 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' series last Christmas, and he said, "Reading is for school." Whooooa-kay, kid. It makes me sad when I see such greed, and lack of appreciation, when there is *so* much more to the holidays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195044 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:41:36 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1195044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@locavore_mama: I just posted on how to do this! Are the adults ok with not getting presents? How did your family get to that point? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195040 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:40:34 +0000 cmomma17 1195040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I'm struggling with similar feelings about the holidays.<br /> In my situation, my family is the one who rips through gifts one after the other. My DH is very turned off by it.<br /> I worry about the grandparents spoiling LO rotten (is there any way to stop them?), I worry about our home being taken over by CRAP (more quantity than quality in the gifts we are given).<br /> I want the holidays to be about more than presents. I want special memories and traditions. I want to give back to the less fortunate somehow (tough when you already don't have much yourself).<br /> And I also worry about LO becoming spoiled. My nephew is almost 14 and he is a BRAT. I love him dearly but he is a 100% spoiled rotten brat and I think the way my family handles Christmas is the reason! We don't do anything together except getting together the day of for eating and exchanging gifts. We give too much and he makes comments like "is that all?" It's terrible!<br /> My family is also not religious, so I'm looking for answers outside of church. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195032 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:38:20 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1195032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I just blogged about this on HB - there is a link on the sidebar (it is part three of a series). </p> <p>For us, the holiday season is more about quality family experiences/time than actual gift giving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195029 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:37:09 +0000 regberadaisy 1195029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last year on my side we stopped doing adult gifts. This year on DH side we've decided to sponsor a family for Christmas instead of buying gifts for adults. </p> <p>I think it's important to help children realize that the holidays are also a season of giving. That being said I hope to sponsor a family each year and go volunteer at least once during the holiday season. I'm not sure yet what will be a age appropriate volunteer activity for a 20 month old. But we volunteered at the city mission before. We sat in the kitchen and snapped green beans for 3 hours for their thanksgiving dinner! She might be too young to understand what we're doing but it's never too young to start imo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195028 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:37:02 +0000 looch 1195028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle with this, especially since my son's birthday is also in December and in all honesty, we buy him whatever we want all year long. I feel like every time I turn around, I am tacking on another thing that involves giving him things, like the advent calendar, so I am changing things up a bit.</p> <p>Advent calendar: instead of "things" in the pockets, we will do a small felt ornament for his own little tree and the figures from the little people nativity. </p> <p>We're also not doing the Elf on the Shelf, as I don't want my son to think that he has to be well behaved because someone could be watching. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195021 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:35:57 +0000 stargal 1195021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we just try to fully throw ourselves in to the holiday spirit without spending money. traditions like getting our tree, drinking hot cocoa, driving to look at the lights, making Christmas cookies, etc... plus spending time with our family just doing little things.I love the holiday spirit, Christmas carols, etc. I just try to embrace that all!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195019 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:34:44 +0000 bpcmarj 1195019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not big gift people. We like gifts, but I think there was only one Christmas out of the 10 we have been together where I can say we went gift crazy. This year, I want to make it about experiences. Taking P to see my great-grandmother after Thanksgiving, having Santa come to a friend's house and surprise all the kids, taking P to a local cranberry bog/train theme park to see the Christmas lights, and spending time together on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.</p> <p>I would also really like to do some crafting, and whatever gifts I do buy or make, I would like them to have a lot of thought behind them...</p> <p>I am with you though, I would love to get back to the real Christmas spirit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/the-true-meaning-of-christmas#post-1195012 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:32:10 +0000 deerylou 1195012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a habit of going absolutely overboard on Christmas presents. The Christmas budget thread reminded me of that. I just love picking out the perfect gift, but have decided I kinda need to reel it in. Since we've had a baby, and I've decided to take a year off work to care for her, doing away with the extreme materialism of Christmas sounds like a smart idea. In addition, I feel that the holiday season is slowly becoming a commercial circus, and I really hate that. My husband has a huge family, and Christmas morning usually entails everyone just ripping into gifts, one after another, without much pause, or appreciation. I definitely don't plan on depriving DD of special holiday gifts - the magic of Santa will certainly exist in our home - but I also don't want her to forever associate the holidays with being spoiled rotten. </p> <p>For years, I've been saying that I want to get back to the true meaning of Christmas (not necessarily from a religious standpoint, but that's nice, too!). I want to start a family tradition of true giving and togetherness, rather than one of spend-spend-spend, and gimme-gimme-gimme.</p> <p>How do you focus on philanthropy and the spirit of the season? Do you limit, strictly budget, or DIY gifts? What kind of things do you do to step away from the commercialism and refocus on family? Ideas, appreciated! </p>