https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 24 Jun 2026 19:54:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu/page/2#post-732434 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 06:47:15 +0000 LemonLong 732434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! My baby was IUGR too, we made it to 38 weeks before I had to have my unscheduled induction. She left the hospital to come home at 4 lbs 11 oz. she's almost 6 months now and when I look at preemie clothes it's hard to believe she was ever that tiny! Hope your LO's stay is a short one. Sending thoughts of growth your way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-732379 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 01:31:15 +0000 googly-eyes 732379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I missed that you have birth too! Congrats! Sounds like you're doing a great job! Sorry you have experienced some insensitive comments.. Like anything it's easy to get wrapped up in one's own thoughts and experiences. Hopefully they mean well and they're there for your family! Congrats congrats congrats!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-732162 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 20:31:49 +0000 lomom 732162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks :) we are cautiously optimistic that he'll be home Monday. He has to have all bottle feeds for 48 hours before we go home. He had a tube feed at 12:30 today, so we're looking at 12:30 Monday afternoon. He's been rooting vigorously and eating his bottles like a champ and gaining rapidly. All of his feedings are fortified breast milk, which makes me so happy that I've been able to do that. When he was on formula before my milk came in, he had horrible spitting up incidents and really hated feeding. Now we have a routine down where I start pumping about 20-25 minutes before his feeding, which gets him all riled up and rooting around, then we change his diaper and give him the bottle. It's worked really well, I'm hoping he can keep up the good work!</p> <p>Despite everything, it's still be the best week of my life. My son is the absolute light of my life and I couldn't be happier with our little family :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-732132 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 20:18:06 +0000 Cherrybee 732132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had no idea you'd had your baby! Congratulations! Im sorry you're dealing with this and that people are WI sing you up with their stupid comments. I wish your little man all the best for a quick journey to full strength. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-732059 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:37:33 +0000 MrsLilybugg 732059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations on the birth of your baby!!! I hope his stay in NICU is a short one ! Hugs your way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-732031 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:19:25 +0000 lomom 732031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: it was awful, even though I knew I was coming right back. I got discharged at 1pm and had a 3:30 appt with the NICU lactation consultant so I left, ran home, showered and was right back in a few hours. Leaving each night sucks too, especially if LO is awake when I leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-732003 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:02:29 +0000 littlek 732003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: Wow, how insensitive. Leaving the hospital without my baby was the hardest thing I have ever done. I cried nonstop. My heart goes out to you... big hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731993 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:58:46 +0000 Ree723 731993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations on the arrival of your little boy! I'm sorry you're having to deal with such insensitive, thoughtless comments, but hopefully he comes home soon and all of this becomes a distant memory. The update you posted sounds great but I'll continue to keep you and your LO in my thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731855 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 16:25:10 +0000 iheartleopardprint 731855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>((((HUGS))))</p> <p>DD was only in nicu for a week, although we were told we would be there for months we got clearance from higher up that she could be cared for at home. It was easily the hardest thing I have ever done. My hospital was great, though. I was officially discharge the 2nd day but they kept me on at the hospital as an boarder mum. I got a bed and meals but could receive no medical treatment. I was there to care for LO around the clock, so I didn't have to deal with leaving her but it is so hard.</p> <p>We had only my parents and some friends visit us, we told everyone we wanted no visitors. No one understood why, but I just needed to be alone with DD. I did shut DH out though, as he was home with DS. </p> <p>You go through so many strang emotions, if you ever need someone to talk to please ok me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731834 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 16:08:28 +0000 lomom 731834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: my discharging dr asked how it felt to be going home without my baby. I burst into huge heaving sobs. I think that answered his question. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731658 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 13:26:20 +0000 littlek 731658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand what you are going through. My son was born at 34 weeks and was in the NICU for 10 days. Please write me and I'd be more than happy to share my experience. I actually had a nurse that asked me how it felt to be in recovery around all the moms with healthy babies. DH went OFF on her! Hang in there and hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731645 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 13:06:43 +0000 oliviaoblivia 731645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats on his arrival! I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this and that people have been so insensitive. Ignore the pests and concentrate on your sweet baby and be proud of the things you have done and are doing to keep him safe and healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731627 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 12:56:57 +0000 lomom 731627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: thanks :) I remember following your story, I'm so glad D has done so well! I haven't posted LO's birth story yet, but I will. He was IUGR and stopped moving much (I was doing kick counts in between NSTs and BPPs at the dr office) and no matter what I tried with the kick counts, he just wasn't moving. So I called and went in and the BPP showed no flow through the cord and low fluid so I had a c section as soon as my husband got to the hospital. LO has really done tremendously well, but it's still been a scary and stressful week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731602 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 12:42:38 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 731602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I missed your story! I'll go look for it. Please write on my wall if you'd like to talk (my LO was born at 25 weeks and in NICU for 5 months).</p> <p>The preemie parenting group on babycenter is really active and supportive. I highly recommend it (in addition to HB of course).</p> <p>For me, asking when he would come home was the worst. It was so hard to say "soon I hope" when I had no idea and it was all I wanted.</p> <p>People mean well, but are pretty dense sometimes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731596 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 12:41:13 +0000 lomom 731596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the support. I hadn't gotten around to posting his birth story yet but he was born 4/14, 4lb and 4oz, 17 inches long at 35w3d. </p> <p>I feel incredibly blessed that he's had no major issues. He had oxygen and fluids at the very beginning, but by the time I got to the NICU at about 10 hours pp (I had a c section), the oxygen was gone and the IV was out shortly thereafter. </p> <p>He was classified a feeder and a grower and so we've just been working on getting him to consistently take bottles and keep his temp up. He's done so well, the nurses said on Thursday that they thought he'd be home in less than a week. </p> <p>I hope so. It's horrible being away from him. The silver lining in all this is that my hospital has a NICU-dedicated lactation consultant so I've been able to pump and LO gets fortified breastmilk every feeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731484 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:47:28 +0000 MaisyMay 731484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats on your LO! People suck sometimes. I hate that you are having to deal with all this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731474 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:42:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 731474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you are dealing with this and I really hope you all get to go home together nice and healthy soon. </p> <p>@Grace: I think you got it just right- people just don't understand unless they have been in a situation like that. You hear about all the great things they can do for preemies, which is wonderful, but it still must be so hard to be separated from them. </p> <p>Congrats on your little one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731472 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:42:45 +0000 PrincessBaby 731472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: Congratulations:). I am sorry you are having to deal with such stress, and that people's comments are just adding to it! I had to re-admit my daughter 2 days after we got home from the hospital due to severe jaundice, which wasn't even the NICU, just the Peds unit, and I have never been so stressed and worried and a hot mess in my whole life! I felt so awful for her and so helpless:(. If I wouldnt have been BFing, I seriously would have taken anxiety pills or something! I cannot imagine being in your shoes and how tough it is right now! I hope your little man gets super strong, super fast, and that you can bring him home soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731450 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:24:12 +0000 MarieJ 731450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I got asked those same questions while LO was in the NICU and they infuriated me! I finally just let my mom take all calls and be our spokesperson. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but you'll soon be able to take your sweet baby home! The 10 days LO was in the NICU were the longest of my life, but we got through it. Sending big hugs your way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731441 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:15:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 731441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you have to endure these insensitive comments. Wishing you and your LO the best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731422 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:53:58 +0000 Grace 731422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get the sneaking suspicion that some people don't think being a premie is a big deal. I had mentioned to a sales lady that the micro-premie onesie was so small, but that hopefully, I'd never have to buy one. She tried to convince me that it was the better option over the 12 lb plus outfits because labor would be easier. When I mentioned NICU, she just seemed to brush it aside.</p> <p>I hope your LO has a short stay and you all are home soon. In the meantime, take care of yourselves and tell the annoying people whatever you have to.</p> <p>Congratulations on your baby!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731414 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:44:55 +0000 Crisark 731414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you are having such a hard time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731411 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:41:38 +0000 Revel 731411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you're getting all these comments, people just don't think sometimes. Congratulations on the birth of your LO and I hope you go home together very soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731397 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:27:18 +0000 autumnlove 731397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, so sorry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731393 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 09:25:25 +0000 Boheme 731393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry! I cant understand why people lose their filters with pregnant women and new babies. Take care of yourself. I hope your LO is home with you soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731304 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:17:01 +0000 Smurfette 731304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry!! I hope LOs NICU stay is short. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731301 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:13:18 +0000 singingbee 731301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People can suck sometimes. My friend had her baby at 30 weeks. Her baby took 2 months to come home. People would say the most awful things to her!!!!!!!! Know that sometimes people don't know what to say so they think they are saying something helpful or that you want to hear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731294 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:08:51 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 731294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How many weeks was your baby? A safe estimation is that babies usually come home by their due date (though late preterms usually beat that estimation). I know you are probably upset and scared right now, but I believe that the misguided questions and comments come from a place of love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731289 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:03:37 +0000 petunia354 731289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also want to add that I am SO sorry you are going through this!! But like others have said, once you bring LO home, it'll be just a memory. And I think it made bringing my son home even more sweet because we had already been through so much with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-with-a-lo-in-nicu#post-731286 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:02:03 +0000 petunia354 731286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I HATED when people said how lucky I was to not have had to go through the last 6 weeks of pregnancy and how I should be thankful I had such a tiny baby. I could not wrap my head around why people thought that was a helpful thing to say. I know they were probably just looking for the silver lining, but think before you speak people!!I was also asked why I looked so tired and sad. Umm what??! That person was escorted out of my hospital room within seconds. </p>