https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 12:12:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1403568 Thu, 06 Feb 2014 12:59:01 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 1403568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: thank you. while i didn't take offense to any comments from yesterday, it's nice to know that this community is so supportive and concerned </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1403307 Thu, 06 Feb 2014 11:47:10 +0000 coopsmama 1403307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a really informative thread for me. I have yet to be on bed rest (and really hope I escape it entirely) in my pregnancies but it is nice to know what not to say if any of my friend's ever end up in that boat. Thanks for the thoughtful information. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1403268 Thu, 06 Feb 2014 11:39:55 +0000 Crisark 1403268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for posting this.<br /> I was on bedrest from 33 to 37 weeks and that was after two stints in the hospital for BP and steroid shots for LO because they thought I'd deliver early (which I did at 37 weeks).<br /> I was on level 2 bedrest so not as severe as some thankfully.<br /> But, I totally agree with what you've said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1402352 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 22:13:50 +0000 rachiecakes 1402352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: :heart:<br /> planning kept me hopeful, too - I was seriously depressed and felt very alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1402333 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 22:01:46 +0000 spaniellove 1402333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for posting this...I could picture myself unintentionally putting my foot in my mouth so this is helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1402328 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 22:00:09 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1402328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: I actually had already started mine and did keep working on it...but didn't buy anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1402003 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 20:06:09 +0000 petunia354 1402003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: everyone copes differently! </p> <p>I made a conscious decision to not buy clothes and frivolous things until our baby was born but did go ahead and set up a nursery with crib, dresser, glider, and a few other essentials! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401970 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 19:51:25 +0000 mlm2934 1401970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>eek I suggested registry and I've got a placenta abruption - I guess it helps me to stay positive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401964 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 19:49:43 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1401964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with this! I was on hospital bed rest from 30-32 weeks inbetween my water breaking and then cord prolapse/c section. The thing that really got under my skin was my coworkers joking about how I must be having a great time just relaxing and laying there, that I just needed a break from work. Har de har har. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401885 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 19:14:11 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1401885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is good to see! I have no experience with bed rest myself, and would probably have made one of those mistakes without knowing! Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401874 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 19:10:31 +0000 ShootingStar 1401874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I won't try to equate my experience with being on strict bed rest for months. But at the time it was a hard and scary thing. My body did not handle the end of pregnancy well. I was spilling protein into my urine (which meant doing 24 hour urine catches every couple days), my blood pressure was on and off sky rocketing, and I could barely stand without almost passing out. Yes, I could "take it easy on the couch", which in reality was needing to lie down almost continuously or my blood pressure would get dangerously high. Add to that my GD was not well controlled even with insulin, and lying down was less than helpful for my acid reflux. So you're right, it was only 2 weeks of this and not months. But at the time it felt endless. </p> <p>@Mrs Green Grass: I can't even imagine what you went through because I know I was scared myself about what might happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401819 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:28:29 +0000 Raindrop 1401819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*deleted comment* Sorry I misunderstood this thread. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401797 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:18:59 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1401797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I know. And I'm sorry if you took offense. I know you were in a similar position, but I still don't think it's helpful to hear. For me personally, I was worried I would never have a two month old to wear me out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401795 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:18:13 +0000 Mae 1401795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: It's my understanding you were on bed rest from weeks 37-39 and most of that time (as you said in the other thread) you could be on the couch and just "take it easy" but there was 24 hrs where you had to lay flat in bed on strict bed rest. If that is correct it sort of seems like a whole other league from people who are on strict bed rest for weeks or even MONTHS and particularly those who are put on strict rest very early or even prior to viability. Not that what you went through wasn't hard or scary, I'm sure. But there are levels. </p> <p>I don't have a dog in this fight because I'm incredibly lucky that I've not been on bed rest… but @Mrs Green Grass:'s comment regarding not saying things about wishing you could get some rest now is something I've heard many people who have been on the earlier/longer/stricter bed rest say and I don't see why pushing the issue insisting that it shouldn't bother them is helpful. Feelings are feelings and it seems that is a common thing people say to people on bed rest (not out of any ill intent of course!) and something that commonly bothers them--- I think it's kinder to err on the side of caution and not make casual asides like that to people struggling with this. It is sort of like someone who is struggling with horrible morning sickness complaining to a person struggling with infertility about how much it sucks to feel sick. Feeling sick/morning sickness is a valid problem-- but know your audience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401775 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:12:20 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1401775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ooops sorry for suggesting a pregnancy journal -- just thought it might be good to get some emotions out on paper/do something creative to get her mind off being on bedrest, but I can see how you would not want to focus too much when you are in a scary situation. I apologize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401754 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:02:05 +0000 ShootingStar 1401754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: Not to start an argument, but I stand by my comment. I commiserated with the OP, having been on both strict and modified best rest myself. And it was serious and scary for me too. As an aside I said I'd welcome the opportunity now to spend a day in bed since I have 2 month old. I was *not* telling the OP how lucky she was that she could spend tons of time in bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401737 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 17:54:22 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1401737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: technically yes, but I think it's really common for people to say. I know you were trying to be supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401718 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 17:43:14 +0000 ShootingStar 1401718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is number one directed at me? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401717 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 17:41:55 +0000 Ree723 1401717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your posts are always so helpful on how to be supportive to moms in scary/difficult situations! Thanks so much for sharing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401699 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 17:35:26 +0000 Mae 1401699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>&lt;3 I can't imagine how hard that would be. </p> <p>Your post reminds me of this one, with some similar advice from a blogger I enjoy following: <a href="http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/health-and-pregnancy/the-truth-about-bed-rest/" rel="nofollow">http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/health-and-pregnancy/the-truth-about-bed-rest/</a> (warning: this particular blogger ended up having her daughter 11 weeks premature and her daughter passed away at 17 months old) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/things-not-to-say-to-someone-on-bedrest#post-1401606 Wed, 05 Feb 2014 16:55:10 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1401606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to take a minute to remind everyone about some of the issues associated with bedrest so that the support offered can be as supportive as possible. I know that everyone usually has the best intentions when offering support, but sometimes it can actually hurt.</p> <p>1) Please avoid saying anything along the lines of "If only I could stay in bed for a day." I understand where you are coming from, but bedrest is very serious, especially when someone is pre-viability or very far from term. It is not restful and everyone on bedrest would rather be exhausted and have a healthy baby than to be in such a difficult place.</p> <p>2) Keeping in mind #1, avoid suggesting activities that have to do with the baby's arrival i.e. planning a birth announcement, working on nursery or registry, etc. It can be very hard to decide how much or little to prepare when you are in a scary situation. (I went on bedrest at 23 weeks, delivered at 25 and started working on the nursery a couple of months later...)</p> <p>BUT...suggestions of shows to watch or books to read or ways to de-stress or manage the monotony and/or fear are always helpful.</p> <p>Please add any other suggestions that I forgot. </p> <p>(And please don't feel bad if you made a comment similar to the above. It was obvious that everyone meant well. I just want to help everyone understand the full picture.) </p>