https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 04:18:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-308469 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 15:50:13 +0000 Rosie Girl 308469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: The surprise/present thing ended up backfiring on me too! :p And yes, there were times when I knew an outburst would happen. Like you, getting dressed, leaving a place (home, school, someone's house), eating, going to bed. Ugh. But, like I said, there will be an end in sight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-307802 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 11:02:21 +0000 mrbee 307802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Thehistoryofus: Great tip of phrasing the first few notices! I definitely use that with Charlie and it really helps.</p> <p>Re: asking kids for things, I actually have had a lot of luck explaining the reason behind a request. Yesterday Charlie was playing the piano at a friend's house while standing on a chair. I told him to sit down, because standing up wasn't safe and he could fall and hurt himself. He sat down right away... it was so exciting! Maybe just for me haha... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-307670 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:05:43 +0000 T.H.O.U. 307670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: I've never heard the 3 times thing either. I would be interested to hear more about it. Mrs. Jacks said what I was trying to say much better (sorry was typing from my phone). </p> <p>Try to think of the situation from a 3 year olds mind. He is playing tag having fun, mom says time to go, he says NO and keeps playing. In his mind, GREAT! I say no (disobey) and get to keep doing what I want (play tag) and Mom doesn't get mad (she keeps talking). Repeat this the second time, he really thinks things are going his way. You can understand why 10 minutes later when you decide to finally enforce that it is time to go, he doesn't understand why now (the third time) you really have to leave. </p> <p>I hate to say it but it is kinda like dog training. The action has to immediately follow the command in order for them to understand the connection. </p> <p>If you want to practice a 3 time thing, maybe rephrase your first two notices such as "We are leaving in 5 minutes" and "This is your last turn and then we are leaving" so that he can prepare to leave. However, the third time when you say "Time to go" you have to follow through IMMEDIATELY. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306841 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 12:46:00 +0000 MamaCate 306841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: i work with young children in my social work job so i do have a few thoughts even though my LO is much younger than yours. It sounds like this is a challenging time for your DS and as pps have said, testing limits is age appropriate behavior. </p> <p>First i agree with @Mrs. Jacks that the consequence needs to be immediate to the misbehavior. You can offer the choice, ie choose to get in the car or choose a timeout, but you need to follow through and be consistent.</p> <p>Second, you may want to step back and consider what DS is accomplishing with his behavior. A therapist would try to he</p> <p>lp you think about what the function of the misbehavior is, such as gaining attention or getting something extra like extra time on the playground etc. If you can figure out the function then you can find a constructive way for DS to meet those needs.</p> <p>Third, talking to kids this age about feelings can be hard, but important. You cantry to reflect Los feelings to help him understand the names for them, and talk about how it is okay to be mad, sad or whatever and brainstorm how to manage those feelings.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306792 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:59:18 +0000 Andrea 306792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: do you mean magic 1-2-3? That works with my DD pretty well. I will give her to the count of 3 to do something and if she does not comply, then she gets a timeout. </p> <p>I have been in that situation where I can't get her to leave the playground and she is screaming at me so I will give her a timeout in the middle of the park. Fun times! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306791 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:58:11 +0000 mjane 306791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who is becoming a child therapist (after working as a preschool teacher for several years!), I have a few thoughts. First off, this sounds completely frustrating, yes, but please don't worry (impossible advice to take, but know that this is normal)! This is most likely a stage, albeit an unpleasant one. He's testing his independence, maybe he's tired/hungry, adjusting to school social life is hard... there's a lot going on. Being three and becoming a little person who does stuff separately from mom is a big deal, and hard work! But it will all be different in a few months. If you feel like professional help would help YOU feel better and more supported, then by all means seek it out. But I don't think this is any kind of "therapy emergency"! </p> <p>Some ideas: Try having conversations at other times (when you guys are happy &amp; calm and doing something together) about how you both could make transitions easier for him. He's old enough to participate in brainstorming. Try giving him warnings about how you'll have to leave in five minutes, three minutes, etc. This is helpful for some kids (though not all). Another suggestion is to approach him and get down to his level and tell him very very quietly (almost whispering) and calmly that it's time to leave, or soon will be. This can help set the tone of the interaction. </p> <p>Finally, remember, even if other kids are not being resistant at school, you can bet your butt many are doing it at home. You are SO not the only one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306778 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:31:46 +0000 SAHM0811 306778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: I hear you. Kids can be so mean at that age. It was shocking to me. I didn't think the social drama started that early, but after going through it with my circle of parent friends, we realized it does. </p> <p>Well with talking about, sometimes she wanted to and other times she didn't. Most of the time I would just ask her why she was upset or sad. She'd say something like, "Ella didn't want want to play with me today". I'd tell her it was okay because she had plenty of other kids and friends in the class to play with. She'd (of course) respond with, "But I want to play with Ella!" So I'd play up the other girls and boys in her class... </p> <p>And I did schedule at least 2 play dates a week after school with her *good* friends, so I'd remind her that we had a play date scheduled with so-and-so soon. Those 1:1 play dates really helped because she was so happy after them since there's usually much less drama with 2 kids alone vs a group of them. She actually was BFFs with three girls in her class, but all of us parents agreed that it was good to rotate 1:1 play dates with each kid because it was just much better for them all socially at that age. Occasionally we would get all the girls together in one big play date, and usually 1-2 times there'd be drama with 1 girl feeling left out, but eventually they all learned to resolve it somehow with coaxing from us parents not to be exclusive and to share, etc.... </p> <p>Being a mom to a 3 year old is tough work!! Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306714 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 08:35:42 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 306714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: I've never really heard the whole "three reminders" strategy. I don't know what others think, but I don't know of any evidence base behind it to suggest that it might be an effective way to get kids to comply. Usually (with dog training and kids!) I think of the goal being listening the first time (with sufficient preparation for transition).</p> <p>Do you have any links to your method? I'd like to learn more about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306561 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 23:35:21 +0000 HLK208 306561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you, everyone, for your help.</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I was hoping you would post! Thanks so much. I definitely see why it was wrong to continue to let him play when that wasn't the original plan.</p> <p>@NYCaliMama: Also very reassuring to read your post. Quiet time together is so important...can you explain how you were able to get her to talk about her feelings? I try so hard with my son. DH told me, "it's okay if someone doesn't like him, life is the same way and he can't always be a winner". It is so hard when I have this unbelievable amount of love for him and to hear someone tell him, "I don't like you"...heartbreaking.</p> <p>@Thehistoryofus: I have read that it takes 3 times of repeating a command (oh boy, that sounds like puppy training?!) to get the toddler to listen. I will try to find the article, but it has worked with him before. I say it, he doesn't listen, I wait a minute and we try it again--by the third time, it's in his head that's it's time to go and he gets tired of being asked. Mostly, I didn't want to make a scene and I knew by his body language that it was going to be a difficult task for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306015 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 07:57:46 +0000 T.H.O.U. 306015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a three year old yet but several nieces and nephews. First. When you told him it was time to go and he said no why did you wait a full minute to say it again? If you say it's time to go you can't say that and then chat for another minute. Next time say "we are leaving in one minute" and then when time is up you actually have to leave immediately when you say it's time. My BIL and them so this all the time and then get so frustrated with te kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-306003 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 07:06:44 +0000 SAHM0811 306003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to give you a big (virtual) hug! I could've written a similar post a year ago when my eldest DD went through her terrible 3's. I knew it was bad when I started to think, "Where did my little angel go?" It's so tough, I know. You've already gotten awesome advice so far... Yes, now is the time to be super consistent with discipline and always follow through with what you say. Definitely always follow through... It's best for the long run. </p> <p>Also know that it does get better, I promise. My 4.5 year old still has her days, of course, but it usually gets a lot better after they turn 4. </p> <p>With the issue about the other boy... that's really tough too. Kids start to have drama with cliques and liking/not liking certain other kids for whatever ridiculous reason at that age... It's tough when you see it happening to your kid. The only thought I can offer there is that when something similar happened with my DD I just made sure we had a lot of QT together. I would talk to her about her friends at school at depth to let her get her feelings out. We would schedule a lot of 1:1 playdates with her really good friends too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305984 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 04:59:53 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 305984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I may be off base, but I have an additional thought that may or may not help. 3 year olds live very much in the moment, so if you ask them something and they don't do it, the consequence needs to be swift and immediate. Saying that there will be a time out at home means absolutely nothing to a toddler (unfortunately). All of this is of course complicated by the fact that we have second little ones that make it so hard to provide immediate consequences.</p> <p>I can give you a couple of examples. I used to pick up Lala from school by herself. The walk from classroom to car was delightful and spent talking about her day. Lately I've had to bring M to school pickup. Now I have a willfully disobedient banshee on my hands. She's pulling materials out of other kids' cubbies and darting from fish tank to drinking fountain to bookshelf and back again. It's hard enough to carry M's carseat let alone wrangle my wolverine. I found myself raising my voice at first, which only made things worse. I was SO frustrated. How dare she be so sweet at school and so naughty with her mama! When I was finally able to nab her and wrestle her to the car, it resulted in a full on huge screaming temper tantrum, the likes of which are rarely seen at a Montessori school!</p> <p>It wasn't until I put the carseat down immediately every single time she ran off and provided immediate consequences that she started being my sweet good listener on the trip back home.</p> <p>I guess what I'm saying is that they'll try to get away with stuff when they know they can... And the old adage about giving an inch and taking a mile really does apply. In other words, when he veered off to the playground was probably the point where the whole scenario should have been stopped immediately unless it was a planned activity. </p> <p>I think your little guy sounds extremely normal and I bet with some swift, consistent consequences for his disobedience (I'm talking immediate time out or otherwise removing him from the situation and his current actions), that the embarrassing tantrums will lessen and then disappear. And I totally agree with the feeding and sleep advice as well!</p> <p>Good luck, and please know that you are not alone :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305969 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 02:18:20 +0000 erwoo 305969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's the age because my 3 y.o. is doing the same thing. He went from being the sweetest little boy to the most defiant little boy I know! With us it helps to mentally prepare him for what we are doing next. Now that he knows his numbers we've been telling him that when the clock says a certain umber he has to do "x." or when we are done with this we have to do that next and I would remind him a few times so he knows. I also do the reward system as well; and if he doesn't listen he gets toys taken away. Usually his favorite toys. My son likes to do things himself as well I try to let him get involved with little things like helping me buckle his chest clip from his car seat or helping me open the car door. And, yes, like some people have mentioned rest and a full belly does help. My son's at his worst when he's tired or hungry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305962 Sat, 22 Sep 2012 00:46:17 +0000 BoogieBea 305962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes, I'm convinced my son is bipolar. My son just turned 3 years a month ago and we're dealing with the same type of behavior. I agree with the others in that adequate sleep plays a major part in decreasing the number and severity of meltdowns. He seems to be battling an identity issue at 3 where he doesn't want to be treated like a baby anymore but still acts like a baby sometimes, especially when he doesn't get his way. He hates being told what to do. I find myself repeating my requests over and over again like a broken record. It gets pretty annoying even for myself but it's effective. I'm not always able to stay calm but it really does help. Getting worked up myself just fuels the negative energy he's feeling. Like hilsy85, I let mys son know exactly what is expected of him ahead of time. Like if he wants to go on the slide before we leave the park. Then I tell him 5 times on the slide, then we leave. I make him acknowledge it by making him say 'yes' or 'okay' '5 times'. Sometimes, he'll push for more after his 5 turns but often he'll be okay. And I just try to make games out of everything. It'll usually interest him enough to get him to do something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305951 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 23:23:53 +0000 hilsy85 305951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: it sounds like he's having trouble with transitions--like leaving one activity to start another. My niece was also giving my sister a really hard time with getting up and dressed in the morning, taking baths, etc. She said that what helped was doing a sticker reward chart where she could put a sticker when she completed a necessary "step". And it also helped to go through all the steps of what they were about to do before they did it. So another words, she would go in to wake her up for preschool and would sit with her quietly for a few minutes and remind her what that morning's plan would be and that it was important for her to be helpful and cooperative. Good luck though--I can't imagine how frustrating it must be when it feels like they just tune you out/don't care! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305948 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 23:18:59 +0000 mrs. wagon 305948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: you're not alone.. Wagon Jr. is 2 years, 9 months and even though he's got a great temperament in general, his bad moments are just SO SO BAD. I do think sleep and snacking have a lot to do with it, but half our battles are over eating! Getting him to eat ANYthing is just such a struggle because he'd rather play. He won't even eat junk food-- cookies, cupcakes, candy... he'll act interested but ultimately runs away to play instead. Most of our time-outs are involved with dinner. And he used to be an AMAZING eater-- he'd eat more than me most meals. He had FOUR hot dogs and buns at his second birthday party. Le Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305927 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 22:38:03 +0000 HLK208 305927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmenow: see, I thought it was a stage that all children go through but but when I see other children testing their parents it's not to the extent that DS does.</p> <p>@Rosie Girl: Ahh the shadow game is a good idea! A lot of the time, I try to think of ways to bribe him into doing something and I know it's wrong but it doesn't even work anymore! Today I told him I had a surprise in the car and he said, "I don't want a surprise, I want to play." totally backfired. Even though I had bought some books and shoes for him so it was a surprise...I didn't give them to him because of his behavior though.<br /> Thats so nice to know that it will end soon! I can't wait to have my sweet little boy back!!</p> <p>It isn't all the time, he just had bad moments like getting dressed in the morning, leaving school, going to bed, those are the predictable outbursts. I feel unprepared for them! I think I should have taken a class on early child development just to be a parent! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305833 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 20:05:43 +0000 Rosie Girl 305833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: Hugs and deep breath! The 3's for DS were FAR more terrible then the 2's! Your little guy sounds JUST like mine did at 3. I would sit on the couch and cry almost once a week. I wish I could tell you the magic trick to make it better, but in all honesty, it was time and consistency for us. I also "tricked" him into things I guess you could say. Like, in the morning I could NOT get him to get dressed, so I would race him. I always let him win, but he was excited about it, so he would hurry and get dressed. Or if I couldn't get him to walk somewhere with me (or in your case leave the playing) I would make a game of it. We would play "shadow tag" and try to step on each other's shadows all the way to the destination (of course, be careful of parking lots/streets/etc, but considering your shadow is not HUGE, he should stay pretty close to you.</p> <p>4's got better for us, and lately at 4 1/2 he is back to his sweet loving, pretty much listen for the most part self. :)</p> <p>Hang in there! You are doing everything right and I am sure it will get better with time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305746 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 17:19:24 +0000 HLK208 305746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Thank you! I really needed to read that. It was a day where I was almost in tears. I really, REALLY tried to stay calm and collected. I'm going to ask the preschool teachers if they can keep an eye on the situation. DS seems really friendly but most of the kids in the class are already friends since it's a church preschool and we don't belong to that church. </p> <p>We have a great ped, so I will talk to him on Monday and see what we can do about his sleep/eating patterns. </p> <p>@mrbee: Thanks! I think I'm sleep deprived too, I thought I wrote out culprit in my last post and wrote corporate? I deleted it, of course haha. Anyway, I always think there is a deeper problem when it comes to parenting young children when in actuality, I need to be reminded if the basics needs aren't met, everything else is so complicated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305744 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 17:15:21 +0000 mrsmenow 305744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I think it is just a stage. 3 is the year of independence and testing limits. When DDs went through this faze (all kids at some point will try to run around at daycare/preschool and not leave), we came up with a reward system-stickers in the care to put on a chart at home. A special toy they leave in the car in the morning to play with whenyou pick them up. Something to reward them for getting where they need to be without a fuss. </p> <p>We all have those days, it sucks, but he will out grow it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305734 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 17:04:49 +0000 mrbee 305734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might start with a nutritionist and/or a sleep expert! Many times when we've had behavior problems, those two have been the culprit. Especially when it comes to meltdowns… </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305731 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:59:58 +0000 Honeybee 305731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: Personally, I would probably give it a little more time, but I think it's really up to you. If it feels like something you can't handle anymore, it would probably be best to talk to a professional. I have to admit that I run these types of things by a good pediatrician friend of mine and she usually reassures me of what's "normal" behavior. :) So it can't hurt to at least make an appointment with his pediatrician.</p> <p>Do you think the event with that boy at school is influencing him, too? I know when we were having issues with a boy at DD's daycare, we could tell in her behavior. Can the boys be separated or at least supervised more closely for a while?</p> <p>Also, I just want to give you a big hug and tell you you are NOT a bad mom! Some of these things are out of our control, and as easy as it is to take responsibility for it, some of it is on our LO's. I've been the mom carrying the crying newborn in one arm and the screaming, kicking toddler in the other, and it totally sucks, but it's not necessarily a reflection on you! Sometimes our kids go through rough patches, and we just have to do the best we can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305721 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:51:25 +0000 HLK208 305721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Definitely, I can try moving it up to 6:30 instead of 7...if only I could find a way to keep him asleep until 6-7 am! Does your LO wake up really early with an early bed time? </p> <p>I'm not sure that he really understood what the other little boy meant by "I don't like you"? if he did, maybe it didn't phase him like it would an older child...</p> <p>So, does this seem like something I should get a behavioral therapist involved with? Or just let him sleep/snack more and see if things improve? He will definitely have play time taken away after preschool as a consequence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305713 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:41:49 +0000 Honeybee 305713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm, I wonder if his behavior will improve once he starts eating and sleeping better? I've noticed with DD that her eating decreases when her sleep does, and her behavior is directly tied to her sleep, as well. Can you try moving his bedtime forward in the evening?</p> <p>Do you think it's getting worse? We were having issues for about a month, as well, and it kept getting worse and worse. Eventually, once we were able to get DD to sleep more (by moving her bedtime up) our issues all but disappeared over night! I know some kids are just really affected by sleep, and if he's in the transition of dropping to no naps, that might be a big part of it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305708 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:36:04 +0000 HLK208 305708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Lately, he only naps on days that he has preschool--3 days a week. No matter how hard we try to get him to nap more, he resists. Bed time is at 7 every night. However, last night he didn't go to sleep until 10 even though he was in bed by 7. So, this mornings melt down could have very well been sleep related.</p> <p>He doesn't eat much though and never seems too hungry for snacks. For lunch today, he only ate the tuna out of his sandwich and a few cucumber slices with hummus. He just wants to play, play, play, without a nap or snacking. </p> <p>The 3's will be the death of me -.- </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305697 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:29:49 +0000 JennyD 305697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Good question! I have temper tantrums at work if I haven't had a snack. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305683 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:20:34 +0000 mrbee 305683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: what is his afternoon nap and snack situation these days? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thinking-my-3-year-old-needs-a-behavioral-therapist#post-305658 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:02:23 +0000 HLK208 305658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really in need of some insight on this...</p> <p>DS is a very sweet, thoughtful boy but every since he turned 3--he has become super defiant (only to DH and I). Today, I picked him up from preschool and on our way out to the car, he ran to play with a few other boys in a grassy area near the parking lot. The other mom's stayed and chatted while the kids were playing tag, no big deal. When I told DS that it was time to leave, he yelled, "No" and ran from me. I walked closer and repeated myself a minute later. He ran away again (I wasn't going to chase after him since I was holding DD who was hungry and yelling). I counted to 3 and he came but he then got distracted and started playing yet again. I told him if he didn't listen to me, then he would go into a time-out when we got home. Finally, after about 10 minutes, I got him in the car but he was pulling away from me, screaming the entire time and I had to get him in one handed. It was a nightmare. He kicked, hit, cried...full blown out melt down.</p> <p>This has been on going for the past month. I'm really fed up...how can I survive the terrible 3's? What would you do in this situation? I feel like I have tried everything. Time-outs, taking away toys, a reward system, my mom suggested a swat to the bum but DS does not respond well to that (he only becomes more angry and violent). I've read so much about parenting through the toddler/preschool age but in the moment, nothing seems to stick. I try to keep calm. I try to get him to explain what he is feeling and why he is feeling a certain way.</p> <p>I should add, one of the boys he was playing tag with after school, pushed DS down and his mom got upset with them. The little boy then told DS, "I don't like you". Obviously, DS's feelings were hurt and maybe it's why he acted out? Also, all the other moms saw DS's melt down. I was so embarrassed. I know "it happens to everybody" but...my child is the ONLY one who acts this way after school! Clearly, I'm doing something wrong. I feel alone. I need help and so I'm thinking a behavioral therapist might do the trick? </p>