https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 03:02:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2661714 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 18:16:54 +0000 bees_knees 2661714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: I had significant 2nd degree tearing with DS 1 (2.5) and 3rd degree with DS2 (5 month). Let people help you, don't push yourself too hard (I went for a long walk at a few weeks PP and kinda wanted to die afterwards), keep up on pain meds and stool softener. I was instructed not to lift anything (including DS1...which was def the hardest part), vacuum, make the bed, etc for 6 weeks. At my 6 week PP check I still felt some pain and my doctor gave me Premarin which was AWESOME. I actually just used a sample size and didn't even need a full prescription. Also, for sex try using Preseed (the fertility lubricant) bc you can squirt it up in there (sooooo romantic!) and it doesn't feel so dry. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2661709 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 17:56:21 +0000 delight 2661709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: thanks for checking in. I just hit 4 weeks PP and am doing soooooooo much better. I did start feeling better at the two week mark. As soon as I could drive and get our of my house I felt way less depressed. We went for a long walk yesterday and I felt almost normal. I am still tender down there but I can sit almost comfortably so things are way better. I am glad you are feeling better too. My 3rd degree was bad enough, I can't imagine a 4th!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2661633 Mon, 05 Dec 2016 15:07:49 +0000 agold 2661633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: Just saw this now. How are you doing? I had a fourth degree tear. It was awful. But I think the 3 week mark was a good turning point for me. I hope you are doing okay. I'm now at 14 weeks out. Let me know if you have any questions. I haven't had sex yet. (eek!!) But my waxer says it all looks fine down there and no more stitches. :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2652095 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 11:42:14 +0000 delight 2652095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: thanks for your kind words. I am feeling down because people want to come over and meet the baby and I keep saying that I'm not ready yet. I will take your advice and try not to do things too soon. I feel trapped inside though. I stand at the window nursing, looking at the beautiful fall day and long to be out pushing my baby in the stroller. I have been able to walk around the house wearing him in a wrap today so hopefully things are on the upswing. I hate that others have gone through this but it's nice to know I'm not alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2652060 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 10:55:34 +0000 rachiecakes 2652060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: I had a third degree episiotomy, too :( I remember feeling like I'd never be normal again. And I'd get so depressed because I felt like no one understood because I didn't have a csection but I really didn't want to get into details why I couldn't sit/stand/function right for over a month with every congratulating acquaintance.<br /> Take care of yourself. Don't try to do too much too soon. I definitely pushed it and started to work out, walk, drive, etc. sooner than I should have. I had some granulation tissue and a trapped nerve. It felt like forever but it did eventually go back to normal. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2652010 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 09:37:32 +0000 delight 2652010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: oh yes I take my pain mess around the clock. I set a reminder on my phone because once I went longer than 4 hours and was in agony! I am going to see the doctor this week to have him check things out and make sure it's healing. My BF also had an infection and she said it was awful.<br /> @Shantuck: I hear you on the mom guilt. Last week I was saying to DD that as soon as baby comes I can get down on the floor and play with her again. It was tough to move at the end of pregnancy. But I'm no where near being able to 'play' with her. I feel useless with her. I hope you continue to heal. I know it's just a matter of time before we are both feeling better. :heart:<br /> @mrsjd: thanks for sharing your story. I am hoping by the 3 week mark I'll be feeling much better. I can't even imagine intercourse right now. :meh: Did you have trouble going to the bathroom? I'm so hopped up on stool softeners and laxatives just so I can go without pain. I'm hoping I don't have to stay on them for too long. Feel free to not answer my questions about pooping :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2651998 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 09:18:39 +0000 Anagram 2651998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: I'm not in recovery phase, but saw your post. Do you have pain meds? Don't hesitate to make an appt sooner than 6 weeks if you feel things aren't healing right. My sister had much more pain after her second but just kept thinking it would get better. It wasn't until she developed a fever that she went to her doctor--and by then, she had a raging infection of her stitches. She said the pain was intense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2651992 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 09:00:02 +0000 Shantuck 2651992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: I'm in the recovery phase as well. Second degree tear so probably not as painful as you but I had thought things were on the upswing and then started to feel super sore again on Saturday. I think I may have pushed it as I took DS to the park and was hoisting him up onto the monkey bars (bad choice! Damn mom guilt made me want to give him some special one on one time) and I've been pretty sore ever since. My sister delivered a 9.5 pound baby in August and assured me that she could barely walk but then at 2 weeks she felt immensely better. Hang in there, mama! In one week, we should both be on the path to normal-ish. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2651973 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 08:13:27 +0000 mrsjd 2651973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: I had an induction and vaginal delivery that ended up with a third degree tear. I think it was because I progressed pretty fast - 0 cm at water breaking to delivery in 3 1/2 hours. Also my daughters head was in the 95tj percentile and got stuck for a bit on my pubic bone. The good news is that I'm 10 weeks PP now and feel about 85 % back to normal. </p> <p>You are really in the worst of it right now. It gets so much better. I felt more myself at about 3 week PP. At that point it will become just itchy and sore rather than painful. And some of my issues also stemmed from low platelets and extreme anemia post partum that made me feel so weak (couldn't stand without dizziness/blacking out). </p> <p>Let me know if you have specific questions. I haven't had intercourse yet due to the fact I bled until 8 weeks and my doctor wanted my stitches to heal a little more. Plus my husband is out of the country for two weeks. But everything feels almost totally normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2651965 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 07:28:11 +0000 delight 2651965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: thank you so much for sharing everything with me. We found out at the last possible minute last Sunday that baby was breech. I was in the middle of my induction. We had to make a quick decision and our Doctor really pushed for vaginal breech delivery. I have been sobbing all week to my husband that I wish I had done a Section. He doesn't understand.<br /> I'm so glad you ended up with a full recovery. It seems impossible to me right now but you give me hope. I am so fortunate to have this little baby and am grateful every day but I'm just not enjoying the early days in the ssme way I did with DD. Once I can get out and about with him, I know I will feel better. I have lots of help with my 3 year old. She is in daycare 3 days and our moms help out the other days. Thanks for all your suggestions to help in the healing process. I didn't think about letting myself air dry and that is a great idea. </p> <p>Anyone else in the recovery phase right now? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2651957 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 04:05:10 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2651957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: congrats on your baby!! Must feel great to have him here after all you have been through :heart:<br /> it does get better - but at the beginning it didn't feel like it ever would. Do you have help with your toddler? I can't imagine taking care of a toddler after that... I found people don't take a bad tear as serious. I had a c section this time because of the tearing last time and people were so helpful, but my vaginal was much worse recovery wise and others didn't seem to grasp that. </p> <p>Any way here is what I found helped:<br /> I took a regular bath instead of a sitz bath. Every morning if I could get ds to nap and then every night when DH was home. I let myself "air dry" after - just lie a towel on the bed.</p> <p>I used bottom spray and the bottom cream stuff too.. The earth mama angel baby stuff </p> <p>Lots of padcicles </p> <p>By 3 weeks I went around the block. It still hurt but I needed to get moving. My update at 7 weeks I had a bit of pain then I think if I over did it but it felt better! </p> <p>I didn't drive at all until 4 weeks I think.. Maybe 3.5? At 2 weeks ds has an appointment and my mom came to visit for a few days so she could drive me to it (DH was working) because there was no way I could drive or carry the car seat yet. But I do remember after the appointment we went to a little shop in town and chatted a bit and looked around. </p> <p>Sex really really hurt until 8 months pp when we finally used coconut oil as lubricant. Then it has been fine!</p> <p>And FYI if you're planning for another - For my second, the doctor said a c section might be a good option (she told me this at my follow up after ds). When I went back to her when I was actually pregnant, she when over the risks of c section etc and I said my husband and I had basically made up our minds that we wanted a c section and she agreed that would be the best. Tearing the same way again (schincter) can be bad. </p> <p>Everything is normal now I would say! So basically it does get better but the progress seems slow at first. It was devastating to me at the time so I am so sorry if you're struggling. Seeing people have their baby and then be out enjoying walks or even running to the store had be so jealous. By comparison after my c section I went out by myself at 2 weeks PP for a pedicure and after 1 week I went to the store etc with my mom or husband there to help/life the kids. </p> <p>Hugs and congrats! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-2651956 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 03:50:18 +0000 delight 2651956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: reviving an old thread. Hope I'm not bringing back bad memories!! Your last update was at 7 weeks and you were feeling much better. Did everything completely go back to normal? I'm worried about long term damage. I commute to work. Will I be able to sit for long periods again?!</p> <p>I'm one week PP with a third degree episiotomy and some tearing. I'm so thankful for my beautiful little boy but holy hell the pain has been unreal! I can't sit unless I'm propped up by a billion pillows and even thinking about driving or going for a walk seems impossible. I'm doing sitz baths and use the bottom spray and padsicles and am trying to nurse lying down the majority of the time. Please tell me this gets better. My recovery with DD was a breeze compared to this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1608634 Fri, 02 May 2014 11:38:30 +0000 MrsKoala 1608634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: Glad it has gotten better! I'm almost 13 weeks pp and I almost feel back to normal so I hope with time, you will, too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1608610 Fri, 02 May 2014 11:32:48 +0000 MoonMoon 1608610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: I'm so glad you're feeling better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1608532 Fri, 02 May 2014 11:11:46 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1608532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: </p> <p>I am almost 7 weeks PP and this week I have felt a lot better. Almost normal! My stitches are all gone now (as of yesterday!) from what I can see. I have a little pain if I sit weird, but for the most part I am pain free now.</p> <p>So if you are suffering and find this thread: It gets better!! I seriously thought I never would feel better again. But this week I've gone on walks over 30 minutes, and even have done some sit ups and squats while I wait to be cleared for exercise.</p> <p>Things that I think helped:<br /> -Epsom salt baths twice a day (morning and night) with very hot water. I didn't like the sitz bath because it hurt to sit like that.<br /> -padcicles<br /> -Earth Mama Angel Baby bottom balm stored in the fridge<br /> -sitting on a pillow on harder surfaces (like in the car)<br /> -not over doing it --- I didn't go for a walk until about 3 weeks pp and that was just a quick trip around the block. I didn't leave the house until almost 2 weeks pp.<br /> -everything my mom or DH offered to do for me, I accepted. </p> <p>Thanks again to everyone who chimed in on this thread! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1518754 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 22:05:43 +0000 Veggiemama 1518754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a very severe 4th degree tear, it was awful and took a long time to heal. I had to see my midwife/OB every 2 weeks for months. The hardest part for me was feeling very alone, (HB didn't exist then!) I didn't know anyone who had experienced anything even close to what happened to me. I had friends who were running 10K races 6 weeks after giving birth, at that point I couldn't even drive and it still hurt to lift and carry my newborn. It was frustrating and I didn't receive very much support from family or friends because they didn't really understand what had happened.</p> <p>My best advice is to take it easy and try not to get too upset about it. I know it's hard, I had an awesome birth and my newborn was doing so well yet I felt terrible every day. Try to concentrate on just taking care of yourself and your sweet baby, if anyone is available to help definitely take advantage of it, especially with any errands, grocery shopping, meals etc. I also agree with everything @LomaLinda said, I sat on a pillow for months, used the tucks pads and tried to shower every day. </p> <p>I hope you feel better soon, it is terrible but you will get through it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1518650 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 20:36:10 +0000 Dandelion 1518650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 4th degree tear past my episiotomy. I felt better by about 5 weeks. But I really babied myself too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1518647 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 20:33:38 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1518647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: So glad everything looked good! Hope you're on the mend soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1518646 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 20:33:10 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1518646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Re reading the comments to help make myself feel better :) </p> <p>Midwife took a look today and said everything looks like it is healing well and no sign of any infection. I do have one spot that stings and she said a stitch has kind of popped out there so it's a bit more open so that's why, but that still looks fine</p> <p>I felt ok most of the day (DH went back to work today!) but by the end of the day I'm pretty beat. </p> <p>Thanks again for the responses. Although I hate others have gone through this, I'm glad you guys are here for advice :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516790 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 09:48:05 +0000 blackbird 1516790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Feel better soon! </p> <p>I didn't have a 3rd degree tear, but I was still sore a couple of weeks later! Give it time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516737 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 09:34:46 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1516737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone!</p> <p>Bumping for day time crowd! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516162 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 02:27:18 +0000 googly-eyes 1516162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: I had 2nd degree, but didn't heal quite correctly, so I can relate. I remember telling dh that if I could just move like a normal person I could take better care of lo. All I can say is it does get much better! Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516138 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 01:13:55 +0000 tysonja 1516138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i felt functional at 4 weeks and better at 6 weeks and mostly all better at 8 weeks. nipples were another story.... ouch!!!</p> <p>eta: I will say that I had another baby 16 months after, and it healed up WAY faster! so don't be nervous about a second baby down the line! it'll be way way way way better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516134 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 00:52:33 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1516134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( So painful!! Hope you start to feel better soon!<br /> I had a 2nd degree tear, so not as severe as a 3rd… but I found that doing sitz baths every day for at least 10-15 minutes helped tremendously!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516105 Sun, 23 Mar 2014 23:39:32 +0000 QBbride 1516105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ouch :( hope you feel better soon.</p> <p>I used Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom spray, that stuff was AMAZING! It felt cooling and really soothing, I used it after going to the bathroom! Can't recommend it enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516102 Sun, 23 Mar 2014 23:36:27 +0000 fussygal 1516102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No experience with this but just wanted to send good thoughts your way! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516088 Sun, 23 Mar 2014 23:16:20 +0000 Meltini 1516088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 3rd degree tear too. I felt good after 4 weeks and I felt completely back to normal at 7 weeks. Don't worry, you will heal and the pain and discomfort will almost be forgotten! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1516020 Sun, 23 Mar 2014 21:46:36 +0000 PurplePeony 1516020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My tear was a second degree, but it was a weird shape so it was hard to stitch up. It hurt A LOT for a couple weeks, but even once the initial pain was gone, it was still really sore. At my 6 week PP appointment, my midwife said it was healed nicely, but it didn't feel like it...and even now, at 3.5 months PP, it still doesn't feel totally normal. But it is slowly getting better and better. I'd say I stopped noticing it all the time around 4 weeks PP, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1515997 Sun, 23 Mar 2014 21:24:56 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1515997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any personal experience, but I wanted to send hugs and prayers for a speedy recovery. Congratulations on your baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/third-degree-tear#post-1515938 Sun, 23 Mar 2014 20:34:51 +0000 LomaLinda 1515938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can so relate to what you're going through right now. I had a 3rd, almost 4th degree tear when my son was born in May. I remember thinking I would never feel human again. Everyday tasks were so difficult and I was in so much pain. Around 2 weeks I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and was feeling much better by 4 weeks. At my 6 week checkup my dr said everything had healed up nicely. I thought I'd never feel normal again, but I did recover and now it's as if it never happened!<br /> Some of the things that helped me were sitting on top of a pillow or Boppy anytime I had to sit on my bottom (I spent a lot of the first week laying on my couch), taking a lot of showers (that was the only way I could ever feel clean), spraying my bottom with Dermoplast regularly, lining my pads with Tucks pads, and walking as little as possible.<br /> Healing from such a bad tear did put a bit of a cloud over the newborn days with my son. It wasn't at all what I had hoped for, but we made it through and now it is just a memory. Hang in there!!! </p>