https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 04:08:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1278454 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 21:32:10 +0000 Periwinkle 1278454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: Amen, sister! Ugh, going to non-babyproofed homes is so hard now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1278436 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 21:24:53 +0000 immabeetoo 1278436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Periwinkle: my LO's very favorite thing to do in the world is march around our house holding a variety of kitchen utensils. Please let me virtually expunge any guilt you may feel - I let LO play by himself LOTS. He is happy, brings me everything he finds, and I meal prep, read, or clean up in his wake :) Everyone is happy! He was SO bonkers, clingy, and cranky when we went to in-laws where it isn't babyproofed at all and we had to hover over him all the time :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1278355 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 20:48:36 +0000 Periwinkle 1278355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, we saw the pediatrician today and as I expected, he thought that the behaviors I described sounded completely normal. He stressed that this is most likely a stage, to be following by another stage of some sort after this one is done. He reminded me that I am not hurting by LO by insisting that he sit in the carseat (one of our major struggles on a daily basis) and that I can be firm with a smile on my face to get my point across.</p> <p>@jedeve: Great idea about the difficulty with transition. That really seems to be the problem. I love @cascademom's suggestion about the transition "toy." I am wondering if that will help to signal that a change is about to take place.</p> <p>@Mrs. Twine: It's so hard to break that habit of feeling like we need to be doing, doing, doing all the time with our LOs. I used to feel a tremendous amount of guilt by just letting him play/explore by himself while I watched from nearby. I realized, though, that he needed this freedom in order to fully explore and now I will let him play occasionally while I read/straighten up nearby. He is usually pretty good if I am close by, and I also find that I am more tuned in to him once we play together if I give him some of his own time to play.</p> <p>@Running Elley: I just have to say, I am so super impressed with you. Handling the early toddler behaviors alongside tending to a newborn is wowing me beyond anything! Thanks for the great idea about counting to 5. We will try that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1275284 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:56:48 +0000 googly-eyes 1275284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Periwinkle: I think it's pretty typical for toddlers and older infants to go through stages like this. Mine definitely did/is. A couple months ago (12/13 months) she would freak out completely if I walked out of the room. Now she sometimes cries sometimes doesn't. I just kept reminding her, "mommy always comes back." And saying where I was going/what I was doing. I wouldn't fret about what it could mean although I understand it can be a lot to cope with, especially if/when it interferes with sleep. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1275247 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 00:42:35 +0000 immabeetoo 1275247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Running Elley: that sounds adorable!</p> <p>Just wanted to chime in that we're weaving in and out of this as well at 12.5 months. One thing that helps, a lot, is not just putting him down from standing. If I put him down and kneel behind him, he holds on to my elbow for a few seconds and then will start to slowly walk away. Or, when DH comes home instead of trying to 'hand him off' to go play downstairs, we both go, and then I will leave. We also do a lot of singing during diaper changes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274469 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 16:17:33 +0000 Running Elley 1274469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds like my 14 month old as well. I think that it's a developmental thing combined with teething for him. I know he's cutting teeth and it gets especially bad when the other teething symptoms are there too (chewing on his fingers, runny nose, etc). </p> <p>Mine gets REALLY upset when he has to lay down to change his diaper so we've started singing a specific song with animal sounds when we change his diaper and that seems to help. Also, when he gets clingy he always wants up RIGHT NOW and, especially with our newborn here too, sometimes that just can't happen right away. So we've started counting with him. If he wants up while we're putting on his pajamas, for example, we'll say "You can get up but we need to count to 5 first. Can you count?" And then we slowly count to 5. He's gotten to the point where he knows now that once we're done counting he'll be able to get what he wants so once we ask him to count he settles down very quickly. Now that we've been consistent with it he knows what to expect and he knows that we'll follow through....when he hears counting now he holds up his finger for 1! It's actually pretty cute :)</p> <p>I totally feel for you though. This stage can be really rough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274461 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 16:10:12 +0000 cascademom 1274461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds normal to me. LO is almost 16 months old and has been acting this way since 12 months. I think it's part teething, part learning communication skills, and part testing boundaries. It seems like for us all of this started at 12 months. He's been super whiny since he was sick this week like crazy loud tantrums. It's been tough, but ignoring them are the best way to go about it.</p> <p>For the changing table, I play a Sesame Street playlist to entertain and distract him. I learned here about a transition toy. For us, his plastic keys seem to be a good transition tool from bedroom to hallway to car. I still get whining, but not as bad. With daycare drop off, he's gotten better with the help of one of the ladies there. She always talks to him and basically invites him in to have breakfast or play as a way to handle the separation anxiety. </p> <p>Toddlers are tough since you would think that walking would make things easier, not harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274442 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 16:03:54 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1274442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I find that at that age sometimes telling them verbally what you are about to do, or having some sort of antecedent can help. So maybe for diaper changes you have a special toy he can hold. So you would get out the toy and tell him, "I'm getting ready to change your diaper now. Would you like to hold this?" They are just getting to an age where they realize their bodies are separate and that they have some control over where they go and what they do, and it can be really upsetting to be whisked up by an adult. Lorelei will often say, "Respect my body," if she doesn't want me to check her diaper because we've talked about it and that her body is hers and that I will always try to let her know and ask before I do something (assuming it's not safety-related). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274432 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 16:00:37 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1274432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like he is maybe getting overwhelmed. I know that when my girls were in stages where they were really learning lots and "maturing" (learning to walk, developing a vocabulary, figuring out spatial relationships) that they would have times when they spent more of the day seeming overwhelmed and agitated. </p> <p>I like what you said about trying to meet his needs, and it sure sounds like you are. I think things will improve for him over time, and allowing him to spend some time at home, or take breaks with you somewhere quiet to calm down if he seems like it's just too much are maybe a good idea, too. I know that before having Lorelei I equated being a good parent with providing enriching activity ALL THE TIME. Really, for my child with autism, that was the most unhelpful thing ever. And for my youngest, who, at least so far, is neurotypical, I also find that she benefits greatly from quiet times and unstructured times and "simple" activities. So don't feel pressure to do music classes or anything else if it seems like he's not getting much out of the experience other than anxiety. </p> <p>I know it's tricky navigating the toddler stage when there are so many changes and upheavals and our kids aren't yet able to communicate clearly what they want and need and feel. You're doing a great job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274426 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:57:45 +0000 jedeve 1274426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like my kiddo. He is always super active and excited and loves meeting new people. Around 10-11 months he calmed down a lot, and would actually sit in our laps for minutes at a time!</p> <p>He is getting clingy. It's the worst when I get home from work. He does NOT want to be put down (cooking dinner be damned!) He will switch back and forth between who he prefers, me or DH, and for those few days, the other one is dirt (unless he needs to nurse). </p> <p>He hates any sort of transition in activity - going down on the diaper change table (always tries to crawl away), getting in his carseat, getting in his high chair. I think he is so busy he doesn't want to stop. He usually stops crying pretty quickly. </p> <p>Does he stop if you are holding him? If so, I wouldn't worry that it is something physical hurting him. But if he is teething, it could make all those things worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274409 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:51:33 +0000 Periwinkle 1274409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LC: This is so reassuring, thank you for sharing. I am hoping that's in our future too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274322 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:20:32 +0000 LC 1274322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like it's the age. My LO was super clingy with me, wouldn't go to DH at all, for months. I can't remember the exact ages but I'd say 12 months until maybe 17-18 months or so. It was an exhausting time for me, not getting a break at all, and it was upsetting for DH since his LO wouldn't go near him. Thankfully now at 20 months this is behind us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274320 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:19:50 +0000 Periwinkle 1274320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: @Lindsay05: You know, teething could be it. I have worried about this but it's been going on for soooo long now that I have disregarded it as the (main) culprit. He is eating decently and sleeping better than ever (!) so I'm not sure. I just wish he (and we!) had some relief from this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274300 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:12:55 +0000 Lindsay05 1274300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It seems pretty typical for that age. LO went through a phase where she just whined and wanted up all day everyday for weeks. I know the molars were the main culprit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274273 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:02:47 +0000 hilsy85 1274273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly this sounds a lot like my LO sometimes! He's almost 14 months and he has hours or days where he is super clingy, does't want to be set down, and when EVERY little thing sets him off--his diaper is changed, he cries, I put his shoes on, he cries, I give him his water bottle, he cries. Usually for my LO it seems to be related to teething--he's cutting a top tooth right now. COuld that be it for your LO? How has sleep and eating been? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-13-month-olds-behavior#post-1274268 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 15:00:22 +0000 Periwinkle 1274268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not sure if the behavior/discipline board is the right place for this post, as I am not sure if I am dealing with a behavior/discipline issue or something else. LO is 13 months old and a very sweet, chatty, and silly little boy. Up until about 10.5 months old, he was fearless, going to others without any hesitation and also a relatively "chill" baby.</p> <p>Since that time, he has become extremely clingy (which I know is normal for the most part as attachments continue to develop) and will not leave my arms if we are out in public, even to go to my husband or other familiar people. At music class, for example, he crawls into my lap and buries himself-- he seems to enjoy himself, but only if in my arms. We often joke that "if given the chance to crawl back inside of me, he would," but it is becoming a bit of an issue.</p> <p>Also, he has been crying a lot. He cries when on the changing table (turning over the whole time), while being placed down on the floor, while getting into the carseat (this has been a long-standing issue, but it's gotten significantly worse now that he's in a convertible carseat), and when separating, both in the morning at daycare drop off and in the evenings with pickup. He is extremely vocal and perhaps this is all normal. Of course, though, I am concerned that something is hurting him.</p> <p>I have learned my lesson that no two babies are alike and it's not even worth it to compare my LO's behavior against another baby's, but I can help but notice how easy going some of the other babies we socialize with are. They explore, crawl/walk around, giggle in public, and just seem comfortable. Our LO seems like he is on the verge of being upset quite a lot, and while he is more himself at home, he is a completely different person while out and about.</p> <p>We are going for his flu booster shot tomorrow and I have requested a quick chat with our pediatrician. He is extremely old fashioned (what we like about him) and I have a feeling that he will tell me this is a phase and that I should give it a few more months, but I am worried that we may not be addressing our LO's needs if he is this consistently upset.</p> <p>Any advice/thoughts/support will be appreciated. I just feel like I want to make my LO more comfortable but also want him to develop a secure base on his own. I question whether or not I am doing him a disservice by tending to his wishes or perhaps that I am not doing enough.</p> <p>If you have experienced something similar, when did things change, if they did? </p>