https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Jul 2026 12:37:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap/page/2#post-2368939 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 03:11:14 +0000 erinpye 2368939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having 2 under 2 years apart was so hard. Seeing how kind and helpful my 3.5 year old is now, and seeing the contrast with my 1.5 year old who is nearly as old as her sister was when she was born, I find myself thinking how much easier it would have been to have a 3-4 year gap. I'm so very happy with the gap we have now, but for that first year of babyhood, it would have been so much less stressful if my oldest had been older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap/page/2#post-2368669 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:20:25 +0000 Boogs 2368669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: As someone closer in age to a sibling during high school, sometimes it was cool, and sometimes we wanted our own space. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap/page/2#post-2368575 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 17:01:16 +0000 daniellemybelle 2368575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: The school thing has crossed my mind too. I feel like my friends who went to high school at the same time as a sibling were closer to them. I am hoping we can squeeze in with LO #1 a senior and LO #2 a freshman! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap/page/2#post-2367780 Tue, 24 Nov 2015 03:04:19 +0000 Boogs 2367780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: We always planned for a two year gap. After a traumatic birth experience I was afraid of pregnancy and birth again and dragged my feet. Sometimes I feel sad about the gap (like being in different schools more often than the same), but it was so nice to not have two so young at the same time and it has been great. Our 14m and 4y adore each other and it has been a great age gap for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366838 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 11:14:16 +0000 Alba4 2366838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too had hoped for a smaller gap in age, but I'm letting it all go! There are perks to all age gaps and it isn't necessarily anything you can control.</p> <p>Our kids will be 2 years 10 months apart in age. My brother and I were 2 years 8 months apart and we were always close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366827 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 11:05:51 +0000 Greentea 2366827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think 3 years is ideal. LO1 has plenty of time to be an only and will understand the new baby coming, I think it will be a good gap for the adjustment. Plus, hopefully LO1 will be potty trained. Our Kinder starts at age 4, so it will be just right that LO2 will be over a year when LO1 goes to Kinder and brings home germs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366824 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 11:00:16 +0000 MoreCoffee 2366824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Add another unanticipated 3 yr age gap here. DS is almost 3 and DD is due in March. I also mourned a closer gap. My brother and I are only 18 months apart and I can't remember my life before he existed! When I look across all the sibling groups I know, there is a such variation in how close siblings are regardless of their differences in age. I remind myself that DS and DD will have their own unique relationship with its own set of positives and negatives, and it's up to us as parents to foster positive family dynamics. </p> <p>Also - DS was at peak high maintenance between 18 and 24 months so for me this seems like a blessing in disguise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366740 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:50:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2366740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are actually looking for a 2.5-3 gap! We'd have to be pregnant soon if we want a 2 year gap. and we're just not ready! I would so look fwd to the fact that LO1 would be much more independent but I would think they will still be close enough to play together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366715 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:32:32 +0000 SweetiePie 2366715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Such a great thread, thanks for starting.<br /> First off, I'm sorry for your losses. I had 2 when trying for my first, and it's so hard. ❤️<br /> My son is 14 months and due to genetic circumstances, we will always have to do IVF with PGD. I am dragging my feet on starting the IVF process for a 2nd (as I decide if I even want a 2nd) and have set a deadline for myself of 18 months to start the process if we're going to do it. So between the actual process of getting started, the month to wait for PGD results, and figuring it will take a few rounds this time (as I will be older and my egg quality is shit to begin with), we are looking at a 3-ish year age gap. I've been apprehensive about it but figured the pros would be all those that have been mentioned. The newborn stage was also rough on me so that's been making me gun shy. So hearing about a 3 year olds independence and ability to help, etc is really making me feel so much better about going for it in a few months. </p> <p>My sister also had a 3 year gap between her first two and also said its a great gap. They are close, but they do fight. But I think that's largely personality and being rough boys. Meaning I think they'd fight the way they do regardless of the gap. They are almost 6 and 9. They also have a 18 month old little sister and they both ADORE her and have never done or said anything negative to her. So that to me is even a testament to more than 3 years being good! To any off those PP who are looking at more than a 3 year gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366699 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:20:51 +0000 Alivoo01 2366699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too can relate to the desired vs actual age gap. We had a loss. DD isn't expected till March, but I think it'll be better that he's a bit older because he understands a bit more. When DS was 2 and before we had our loss, when we explained it to him, he was like ????. He's almost 2.5 now and is understanding oh, baby! These are baby shoes. Baby this. Baby that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366688 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:12:08 +0000 catlady 2366688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for this thread. We also will end up with a 3+ year age gap due to miscarriage. I'm just trying to stay focused on the fact that LO will be so much more independent and hopefully have gone through most major transitions by the time the next one is born. All my friends who have two LOs that are less than 2.5 years apart have complained to me about how hard it is and have hinted that they wished they had waited. Plus, both DH and I have good relationships with siblings who are 3 or 4 years apart from us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366628 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 07:51:20 +0000 mrsmacandcheese 2366628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're in the same boat -- been trying for 7 or 8 months, two losses, daughter turned two last weekend. Not what we had envisioned at all.</p> <p>Friends have told me that the age gap is actually better for a calmer household and for an older child who understands having a sibling a bit more. I'm also trying to think of it from a cost perspective -- my daughter will be in all day kindergarten earlier into the other baby's babyhood (if we get to have another baby!) so less childcare expenses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366620 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 07:11:50 +0000 Dandelion 2366620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 6 years apart and play together. M loves his big brother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366613 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 06:39:58 +0000 misolee 2366613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted a closer age gap too (my bro and I are only 13 months apart) but a miscarriage and TTC has made it 3.4 yr gap when the baby comes in February. I'm not sure how close they will be especially bc it's opposite gender but right now it's been great. She's very independent, can STTN, no longer needs any diapers, sleeps in her own room, and tries to be super helpful. She's also old enough to get excited and know about baby that's coming and has been a big part in naming and buying stuff for new baby. </p> <p>Although I mourned the age gap, I'm thankful for what we were given and can see the challenges it would have been with kids closer in age. (Bonus...we can reuse the crib, stroller, all the nursery stuff bc she no longer cares for it!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366596 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 02:11:25 +0000 daniellemybelle 2366596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: I am just so so sorry for all you have been through ❤️ </p> <p>I have had pangs about waiting for #2 seeing LO with babies recently so I get that feeling! But I think about my brother who was 6 when our youngest brother was born. He was his whole world from day one and 17 years later he still is. They are BEST friends - it really is amazing. At every stage they were so close. It really does come down to personality (and I think same gender often helps).</p> <p>A close friend is also 4.5 years apart from her sister and it was the same deal - close through every stage and close now as adults. I am reassured by that when I start to worry that we will have a hard time with #2 when we're ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366585 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 01:13:26 +0000 Zbug 2366585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: that's rough. Do you think there's any way he could feel differently in a few months? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366584 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 01:11:38 +0000 Zbug 2366584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: thank you and good luck to you as well. I think, for me, the hardest part of my losses has been the time lost. I hope we both get our babies soon. </p> <p>@Kimo: I'm hoping I feel the same when our next LO comes. DD is so into babies, and I worry that I'm missing this sweet window of time. I know it isn't true, but it hurts my heart a bit when I see how loving she is with all the new babies in our lives.<br /> @jaguar: I'm sorry :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366580 Mon, 23 Nov 2015 00:49:22 +0000 jaguar 2366580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: @Zbug: This thread is great. We've missed even a 3 year age gap now (DD is 2y8m and we're not even pregnant again) - and while I was always yearning for a 2 year gap, now I feel completely lost. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366537 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 22:53:47 +0000 avivoca 2366537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: I feel you. Originally, I wanted a 2-year gap, but when the time came, neither of us was ready. Then I wanted a 3-year gap, but now my husband is not ready. We are looking at at least a 4-year gap and I am so sad about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366489 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 21:32:58 +0000 Kimo 2366489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also wanted a two year gap, but then experienced multiple miscarriages. Our LOs ended up being about 4 years apart, but we absolutely love the age gap. It's wonderful having a self sufficient older child. I feel like it made the transition to 2 kids so much easier. It was also really cool that my oldest understood and was super excited that he was about to become a brother. Even though the age gap is big, they play wonderfully together now that the youngest is about 18 months. I'm so sorry about your losses! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366486 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 21:21:11 +0000 delight 2366486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: thanks for starting this thread. I am so sad these days about our widening age gap. With two losses since DD, we are looking at a 3 year minimum gap. My brother and I are 3 years apart and it was great for us. I always wanted to have mine closer together but that's out of the question. I'm really hoping that I am pregnant within the next 4 months, otherwise they'll be 4 school grades apart. Good luck to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366483 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 21:15:17 +0000 MrsBeluga 2366483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: just wanted to share that my sister and I are 3 yrs apart and best buds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366363 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 19:14:59 +0000 wrkbrk 2366363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zbug: This probably isn't too helpful but if we were having 2 kids I would want 3 years minimum!! 1-2 years really freaks me out. I would want my first LO to be out of diapers before we had another newborn - my friend's LO is turning 3 next month and they will have number 2 in April. That just seems perfect to me. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366307 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 17:38:54 +0000 HLK208 2366307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS and DD1 are three years apart and are super close. DD1 turns to him for everything...if she gets hurt, she runs to DS for a hug, they laugh with each other and play really well. They do bicker but I think that would happen if they were closer in age too. </p> <p>The only downside is that DS acts younger than he is at home with his sister - a lot more whining and craziness. But when he's home alone with me or at school, he acts his age.</p> <p>DD1 and DD2 are 25 months apart and the first year was really difficult. I think DD1 adjusted to having a sibling better (at two) than DS did (at three) though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366304 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 17:28:56 +0000 birdofafeather 2366304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm also loving the almost 3 year gap I have (we're only 3 weeks in!). DD is in a twin bed, STTN, potty trained, can speak well, wants to help, can help (to some degree!) and can play safely on her own. We're working on gentle hands, but that's due to excitement, not anger/jealousy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366301 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 17:27:48 +0000 Zbug 2366301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My reply just got deleted, so this is going to be considerably shorter. I did, however, want to thank all of you. You make some excellent points. I know I need to just accept that things aren't going to be the way I envisioned them, and your experiences are helping me see things are going to be ok - regardless of what the age gap ends up being. :heart: </p> <p>@Oxana: Exactly. Conceiving DD was easy, and I didn't expect this to be such a rollercoaster. 4/5 closest friends have either had or become pregnant with #2 since we have been TTC, and the other friend isn't currently trying. It's hard seeing them easily get what we wanted. We are leaning towards only having two, but I'm not ready to completely give up on the idea of three yet. With each passing month, however, I feel like that possibility is becoming more out of my control. I'm trying to accept that most of this is out of my hands and trust that it will all work out somehow, but it's not easy. Best of luck to you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366292 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 17:12:02 +0000 travellingbee 2366292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had the same situation but am due in a month when DS will be almost 3. In hindsight I'm glad it worked out that way although that extra year of stress and two losses wasn't fun at all. But we had a rough year with DS as far as behavior and can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think it would have been very hard to have an infant during this year. He is now potty trained, and very verbal, sleeps in a bed and doesn't use a paci. Glad to have all that behind us before having this one. He is super excited so I think they will be good buds even with a larger age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366270 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 16:42:11 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2366270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest will be three when our third arrives. She is so much more mature than she was last year. She's interested in helping out with her younger sister and is so excited about the new baby.</p> <p>If I knew then what I know now, I'd have put three years between #1 &amp; #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366258 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 16:32:40 +0000 Golden 2366258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 3 apart and I love it too. Would have liked for it to be less, but wasn't in the cards and the way it turned out has been amazing. My DD got to be the baby for a long time and just as she's moving into more independence we have a new baby to take care of. She is happy to be a big sister! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/thoughts-on-a-3-year-age-gap#post-2366151 Sun, 22 Nov 2015 13:59:58 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2366151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 3 years and a few weeks apart and so far we really like the gap! Lo2 is 7 weeks. I'm glad we got through all the baby stuff before lo2 got here. The only thing remaining is the night diaper. But she doesn't seem too interested in regressing to pacifiers, bottles, diapers, etc. She has always been strong willed so I think the parts that are tough now would have been tough at 2 as well. We too wanted a closer to 2-2.5 age gap but ttc took longer than we thought. Overall I'm pretty happy with this gap! :) </p>