https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 16:27:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878793 Sat, 30 Mar 2019 06:17:29 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2878793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have three and both work full time. Granted though we both had lower stress flat forty hour a week jobs and ours kids were all really healthy. Now that our youngest is two we are getting back to eating out and doing things. </p> <p>I think the only thing i didn’t really expect was to be excluded from some friends and events because adding our family of five to a dinner party or outing is tough. We can’t carpool for a trip, it’s harder to get a big table etc. but we have so much fun and are so busy it doesn’t really matter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878748 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 14:06:43 +0000 agold 2878748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: That is awesome you and your husband are open to adopting #3. Best of luck with everything!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878736 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 13:12:56 +0000 graceandjoy 2878736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: For sure. DH and I struggled the most post DD2 and I feel like we're just getting back to a "normal" now that she's 2! I was also adamant that if we were going to have a 3rd that we should just do it sooner than later. Now we've passed my arbitrary deadline so I'm going through the emotions of being "done", at least biologically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878729 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 12:13:52 +0000 agold 2878729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: Not harsh at all!! I love your response. </p> <p>@misolee: These are all awsome ideas and something I need to try better to use in my own life. Grocery delivery is amazing. I need to use my evenings to set that up, and just meal plan better in general. Also, I really do want to find a local babysitter that is a younger girl who will be a little cheaper than my actual nanny I use 2 days a week. It sounds like you have a great little system going and i'm envious! I'm trying to get there!</p> <p>@skinnycow: I say give yourself some time to adjust after having number 2. Don't take any permanent measures one way or the other too soon! :silly: </p> <p>@graceandjoy: You are absolutely right - those two factors are equally important. I'm not much of one for "self care". I know there are other posts about this. But that being said, the complete loss of personal time has been one of the biggest shocks with having baby #2. I don't know why it's worked out that way, but even taking a few mintues to myself disrupts the necessary chain of events that happen daily in my house. It's crazy! I know it won't be forever, but when I think about having a third, its just adding a few more years of this current situation. Its a great situation, but oh so tough! And something you said makes me laugh - I truly laugh at people who think having a baby will save their marriage. Hahaha. You are lucky if it doesn't break it apart! My husband and I have a great marriage, but ha! I'm laughing as I say that this past 10 months with baby #2 has been everything but easy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878710 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 08:41:46 +0000 graceandjoy 2878710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I feel like there has to be a balance and KNOWING yourself and your partner and your family dynamic too. Like if you want the 3rd that badly, then I agree to remember everything is a phase and it won't always be so hard! But on the other hand, if the stress of having a 3rd will end up breaking you/wrecking your marriage, etc then there's more to consider. </p> <p>For myself, I know I CAN handle a 3rd, but I'm already terrible with self care and I know this will just plunge me down further when I'm only trying to work on self care this year (my youngest is 2 already!). And I also know that we already struggle to work on our marriage, throwing a 3rd in will probably undo a lot of the efforts we've made so far. </p> <p>We landed on hopefully adopting a 3rd later on; this puts pressure off of me being pregnant older, taking maternity leave again with little to no income, etc. But that way I don't have to done with just 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878705 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 07:46:02 +0000 skinnycow 2878705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for everyone's thoughts! </p> <p>It seems like it's doable with some support. Thankfully we have a ton of family in the area and we definitely outsource certain things (like weekly house cleaning). I'm confident we can do it if we decide to go for a third - now I just need to figure out if I actually want one once baby #2 is here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878700 Fri, 29 Mar 2019 07:10:16 +0000 misolee 2878700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold I outsource slightly too. I have a local high school student who is our babysitter that I call to watch the younger two while the oldest goes to soccer practice or school function. I have someone who cleans our house monthly like the big ticket items. I pay extra for grocery store delivery sometime bc it's impossible to run to store for little things with 3 kids... </p> <p>so outsourcing doesn't have to cost big time...just a little extra :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878688 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 22:52:40 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2878688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I hope it didn't come off as harsh. I can totally see why people hesitate too, but just like with having #1 and #2, there are parts that get harder and easier but you grow along with them. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878652 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 16:45:52 +0000 agold 2878652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: Thank you for your response. I always said I wouldn't let the things that hard today come before the things I want in the future. And that's exactly what is happening to me and preventing me from wanting a third child. So this is really a hard spot for me to be in. Thanks, again, for you response. It will help me re-adjust my thinking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878628 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 15:13:11 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2878628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: we outsource a little bit but honestly we mostly just figure these hard parts will pass. I mean personally I can't imagine not having my last baby just because I have to stay up later doing chores. Of course I'm saying that AFTER having her and being totally in love, haha. Not saying just do it but even the parts that are like a zoo arent THAT bad. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878620 Thu, 28 Mar 2019 13:55:17 +0000 agold 2878620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: This is good to hear. If I could have a full time nanny, a house cleaner and outsource other things, then I would do 3 kids. I don't know if I can swing all of that. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878398 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 09:07:06 +0000 Mama Bird 2878398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At the moment it doesn't feel more exhausting than having one. I mean, it's definitely crazier but having more experience balances it out.. </p> <p>Logistically, my husband and I are both OK with handling dropoff/pickup for the older two solo. So once LO starts day care, one of us will take her and the other one will take the older kids. I guess my ability to work any overtime at all will be history, though.</p> <p>I'm still on leave and LO doesn't quite take a bottle, so doctor appointments are really hard. If they're for the kids I try to schedule so I take as few kids as possible. If they're for me... I pretty much put off anything that's not an emergency. And if it is an emergency, I have three hours tops to deal with it, including commute, or I bring the baby (which means dragging a car seat on and off a bus cause bus drivers harass moms with strollers). Mostly I just have to hope I'll be in prefect health for the next few months :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878384 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 08:21:24 +0000 graceandjoy 2878384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't, but my SIL does and they both WOH and work insane amount of hours. I can say that having a full time nanny, house cleaners, outsourcing most things and having both sets of grandparents close by are keys to their "success". It's def chaotic and really hard but she will def tell you no regrets! The hard(er) phase(s) will eventually pass! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878381 Wed, 27 Mar 2019 08:11:42 +0000 misolee 2878381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 3 (6.5 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old). My DH also travels during the week for work so I am solo parenting. I also have a part time job that is thankfully super lenient and lets me bring the baby to work and meetings. </p> <p>But..I feel like it's not that bad. The oldest one is self sufficient. She's in school, has her activities, and has always been independent. She helps me big time esp when I need an extra set of hands (For example, when baby was younger, she would rock her to sleep using the rock nplay while I put the middle child down for nap. Or even yesterday, I'm cooking and she would grab baby who was trying to climb the stairs). The middle child was the most difficult...not baby jealousy or anything..he was just two. Now he's older, potty trained, and I can reason (a little bit). My third also happened to be super mellow and just goes with the flow (she has to). She doesn't have a schedule bc I'm always driving her sister and brother to school or activities but it's okay bc she sleeps when she can. </p> <p>There are days when I feel overwhelmed and it's a zoo but I think it's manageable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878254 Tue, 26 Mar 2019 13:22:48 +0000 codeitall 2878254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We'll be having a third and we both WOH. Honestly, I'm more concerned about transitioning to the kindergarten and having two schedules to contend with than I am about adding a baby.</p> <p>As long as I'm doing daycare dropoff for the middle kid, baby just tags along. And these days you don't have to get out of the car to go grocery shopping.</p> <p>My littles are also starting to play with and entertain each other which I think takes a lot of the quality-time pressure down a notch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878100 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 13:38:13 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2878100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly it is a little nuts. We have one involved grandparent who does a good amount of the weekday child care, and we somewhat have rotating work schedules so that covers the rest of it. But we don't have any other help, so down time is very very little. Most people I know think my life is insanely hectic and busy if I ever describe the day to day stuff. But all that said, personally, I would not change a thing! The rest of it, all the good stuff, outweighs the difficulties for me, and I think my third baby has brought out good things in all of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878095 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 13:28:28 +0000 agold 2878095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: I've really wanted a third. Money also never was a concern for me. But more and more, I don't think its going to happen. As a WOH mom, I'd need more money and more time in all regards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878094 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 13:26:05 +0000 Mamatimes3 2878094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 3, WOH, and my husband works a shift schedule. My mom does pick up the kids from school/daycare which helps a lot. But if she didn’t, my older two would go to after school care. I have some flexibility in my job to leave for school events or doctors appointments, which is a huge benefit. </p> <p>About a month after my second was born, I knew without a doubt I was meant to have a 3rd child. My heart felt incomplete. While I miss the idea of having more kids, I don’t feel like an actual kid is missing if that makes sense. </p> <p>Mine are all about 2 years apart. While I am exhausted every day and sometimes feel overwhelmed and like I’m losing my mind, I wouldn’t change a single thing!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878067 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 11:56:34 +0000 Becky 2878067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We only have 2, but we do both WOH very full time. Before we had DD2 I was 100% sure I wanted 3 kids, so I didn’t treat that pregnancy like it was my last. I was so busy at work and chasing a toddler and told myself it didn’t matter because I was going to go through it again. Once she was a few months old I no longer felt like I wanted 3 kids. I was SO overwhelmed and the thought of 3 gave me major anxiety. I felt really guilty because I hadn’t treated it as though it were my last pregnancy or she was my last baby. For a long time I felt like I had to have a third baby just because I hadn’t acted like DD2 was my last, and it annoyed me. So at that point I did start treating her as my last and really savoring everything, and I let go of feeling like I HAD to have a third. </p> <p>We will actually probably try for #3 (I’ve come a long way in being more laid back) but I’ve really changed my tune about the whole “treating it as your last” deal. The way I look at it now is, what if I decide I really don’t want a third? I want to be okay with that. And what if we do try, but I can’t get pregnant? I wouldn’t want to be doubly upset that I couldn’t get pregnant AND hadn’t treated my last pregnancy like it was my last. </p> <p>We don’t have tons of activities (right now only 2 things per week), but we do have a really cobbled together childcare schedule. It was more stressful when I was trying to think about how it was going to work out than it is actually being in it. You’ll amaze yourself at what you can get used to and how “easy” chauffeuring them around and bringing them shopping or running errands gets, especially when they’re old enough to entertain each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878058 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 11:26:00 +0000 shabang 2878058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3 is honestly great! </p> <p>The logistics are definitely challenging, and friends with 3 will say the same - you have to manage to the middle child. The baby will have its own needs but generally just comes along, and the oldest is more self-sufficient. This will depend on age and temperament, but generally speaking, the middle being in that 2-3yr age becomes the tricky one. </p> <p>It's counter-intuitive, but I find that I have more time with the baby than I did having only two children because the older two kids interact/play/fight with each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878055 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 11:03:33 +0000 ElbieKay 2878055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My second turned out to be twins so we turned into a family of five despite planning to be a family of four!</p> <p>The logistics get more complex with a third child, and for me they are probably more streamlined because two of mine are the same age. So their checkups are at the same time, for example. People talk about twins like they are so unbelievably challenging but at least I only have to cater to two ages rather than three.</p> <p>We have two babysitters plus one set of involved grandparents, and managing the childcare schedule is a real pain. I hate working with a team of people. It always feels chaotic and it is so hard to make sure we are all on the same page.</p> <p>But my kids are happy and well cared for and love each other so much. My babies adore their big brother, and vice versa. They are 8mo and starting to be more fun for him to interact with. It is amazing to watch as their mom. (The girls have started stealing toys from each other though. I think they each like their brother better than their twin sister, haha!)</p> <p>I won't lie. I feel a little overwhelmed dealing with the logistics. Our schedule is tightly orchestrated and there is not much wiggle room in the day. I have eight more weeks til my pumping goal and then I think everything will be a bit easier.</p> <p>I think some of the previous posters have a point that you might just be feeling nostalgic. I am acutely aware that these are my last babies, and I am definitely savoring their first year more than I did with my oldest. But there is no way we are going to have a fourth!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878048 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 10:54:58 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2878048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi, fellow June mom. I'll let you know how it goes in September when I go back to work. We'll probably be paying for three in daycare for one year. DS won't be able to start kindergarten until he is almost 6 with his October birthday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878039 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 10:08:55 +0000 babypugs 2878039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I knew knew knew I really only wanted two, but was still super sad about not ever being pregnant again towards the end of my second pregnancy almost to the point where I convinced myself I needed a third. Like others have mentioned, I quickly got over it when I realized how well our little family of four worked for us.</p> <p>That said, I know several working moms of three! Yes, their lives are chaotic and crazy and full of constant driving and pick-ups, but they have lots of love and fun in their lives and don't regret the third child at all, despite the insanity. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878032 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 09:53:54 +0000 skinnycow 2878032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: Ha, maybe this will happen to me! Up until two weeks ago I wanted DH to get a vasectomy ASAP after having this kid so maybe it's the hormones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878031 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 09:53:11 +0000 skinnycow 2878031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Yeah, we would definitely have separate schedules for kinder and daycare. We'd likely tag team those and have one of us do kinder drop-off and the other daycare drop-off. Thanks for your thoughts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878022 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 08:40:36 +0000 gotkimchi 2878022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to say I felt so desperate to have a third while pregnant with my second and up until he was 12 mo old. Then I got over it lol :silly: so just to say I think these feelings are normal, hormone probably play a factor, and maybe wait a little while to make your decision </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878019 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 08:27:13 +0000 bhbee 2878019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH since #2 (DH works a lot so rarely home during awake time and often works weekends) and yes three is a different level of crazy for us. I was already on zone defense and my other kids were older - so they had fewer hands on needs (but still some of course!) but I feel like I am constantly running between their pickups/drop offs and trying to nurse the baby. I don’t know how it would work with daycare but I assume you might have separate schedules for kinder and daycare. That said if your oldest is that age they can be a big helper. My middle has had a really rough behavior year so that colors my view of the crazy I’m sure, and the baby definitely made him worse. </p> <p>That said I knew the day the middle was born that I wasn’t done in my heart. It took us a while to get #3 but now I feel completely finished and would not change a thing despite the crazy. I think so much is down to your temperament, the kids you happen to have personality wise and where they are that year, how much both parents can pitch in, etc. I’m sure other can weigh in on balancing with work! Overall dh does a lot more at home because I can no longer do everything. Even if it’s after the kids are asleep he helps more with laundry folding, dishes, getting middle ready in AM, etc. So my guess is you’d need to both pitch in on those during the workday things also or have one parent really flexible. </p> <p>And everything is a season, I won’t nurse forever and then it will be something else. I love seeing the love my older have for the baby and seeing our family together. I would give it time and see how you feel after settling in with two! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/three-kids-especially-wohm#post-2878016 Mon, 25 Mar 2019 08:14:02 +0000 skinnycow 2878016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Talk to me about having three kids... is it as crazy as it seems? </p> <p>DH and I have been set on having two kids forever but now that I'm in the third trimester of this pregnancy I'm starting to doubt whether or not I'm done. Maybe I'm just being sentimental because these could be my last few weeks being pregnant. </p> <p>I'm not really concerned about the money factor. Our daughter is three and we would wait until she's in Kindergarten to avoid triple daycare payments. I know we would need bigger cars but that's not a big deal either. We have an extra bedroom in our house so we have space for another. </p> <p>I'm mostly worried about splitting my time - will life be totally crazy with two full-time WOH parents? How do you balance doctor appointments/activities with three kids? I know I'm totally getting ahead of myself because I don't even have #2 yet but I can't get this out of my head! </p>