https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Jul 2026 20:18:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092328 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 08:26:28 +0000 Chuckles 2092328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of kids need rehearsal and repetition to process new things liked time outs, so it's possible that your LO is asking to go to time out and doing things purposefully to go to time out just because he needs the consistent practice with this new thing. I would expect that after a few days of it, he would go back to thinking time out is aversive. But I agree that you should use the crib instead of holding him because the whole point of time out is the lack of attention. You don't want it to turn into a power struggle of having to make him stay in time out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092322 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 08:19:19 +0000 Maysprout 2092322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With hitting at that age I would try to catch her hand mid hit and say no very sternly and then pick her up and move her from whatever activity she was doing. Sometimes it ended in a tantrum but oh well. Sometimes they get frustrated when they're learning the consequences but after a couple days they should understand what happens.also both of my kids at some point have tried to purposely get themselves in trouble but I think it's just to confirm and test what the consequence is and whether it's a consistent consequence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092287 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 07:35:47 +0000 Adira 2092287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to chime in and say that 21 months was the same age that Xander started acting out more and he started doing things just to be put into timeout. And then shortly after that, he started putting his stuffed animals into timeout for random things. But it was a short phase that he went through because even a couple months later, he wasn't acting out as much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092235 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 02:51:15 +0000 lamariniere 2092235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is really child dependent. We started time outs very young with our son, around 13 months, and it was and still is an effective tool (he's 4 yo now). DD is 15 months and we have started, but they aren't nearly as effective for her and I need to find a new technique! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092115 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 21:17:20 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2092115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AggieDaze: If I catch him in the act, I will sometimes say very sternly, "Excuse me...we do not hit. Mommy and daddy do not hit you, and you should not hit other things (or us)." I will pick him up away from whatever it is that he hit, hold his hands and explain why we don't hit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092079 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 20:36:23 +0000 blackbird 2092079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AggieDaze: nope none!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092053 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 20:16:21 +0000 AggieDaze 2092053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: any aversion to her room or you shutting the door since you started the time outs in there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2092012 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 19:32:50 +0000 blackbird 2092012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use time outs for when E hits us or the cats....we put her in her room and shut the door. It doesn't have a lock so we sit there and hold the door knob. Counted to a minute, then let her out. She hasn't hit deliberately in a long time. So it worked for us. We did the room, not the crib, to avoid the bad association with bed </p> <p>E totally knows. We'll even see her raise her hand sometimes and warn her. We can see the wheels turning </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091955 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 18:02:26 +0000 AggieDaze 2091955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: any other techniques you'd recommend trying besides time out at this age? I don't want to constantly resort to time out. I mainly try to redirect/distract, but feel like the hitting (mainly of other kids when he doesn't want to share and of the dog when she takes a toy) has got to be stopped in its tracks. Previously, I was giving attention to the kid or animal being hit and ignoring him. That obviously didn't work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091953 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:59:46 +0000 AggieDaze 2091953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of this is helpful advice. I think time outs would work for us since he knows he's doing something wrong and understands that time out is a result of that action. You guys are right that we need to make sure he isn't getting more attention for the bad behavior. I could carry him back to the spot. Or I've heard of some people using the pack n play or his nursery. I just didn't want to create negative associations with those. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091937 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:41:11 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: Yes! I forgot that we had to do this early on as well. He would follow us initially until we had to put him back. That did seem to do the trick! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091935 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:40:10 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on the child and how they react to time outs. We don't use time out very often, but when we do, it's very effective. He does stay exactly where we put him, and really cries when he's placed there. I wait until he calms down to get him, and then explain to him what he did wrong. He usually doesn't do the offending behavior again. </p> <p>I think it works for some kids but doesn't in other situations. I don't disagree that I think he's now doing it so that you pay attention to him a bit more. I'm sorry that I'm no help...I don't have to physically hold my son in the living room for him to understand that he's in time out and it's a bad thing </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091932 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:37:12 +0000 Jess1483 2091932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think holding him in time out is working against you. I understand the dilemma, but you may have to do a couple hard days of returning him to time out (even if he immediately leaves it) over and over, with no talking to reinforce the point that time out is separation from you and the behavior (he hits you, so you need to be away from him to be safe). </p> <p>I started time-outs a little past one with a quick separation. I just carried him to another room, set him down, and walked away. He immediately followed me, which was fine, and then I explained why I didn't like the behavior. When he hit two, we had a time-out spot, and it only took a day of putting him back in his spot for him to get it. He rarely visits time-out these days (and it's not my first move), but I do think it's an important tool for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091931 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:36:56 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started timeouts at this age, but we didn't have to hold her there, she would sit in her chair and cry until her minute was up. My daughter like your son seem to understand that time out (or chill out which is what we call it) was for naughty behavior. Could you try putting him somewhere where you didn't have to stand and hold him? His crib, your bed, make him sit on the top stair (a girl at work does this, I never felt comfortable because I have a climber and she loves stairs!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091926 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:29:10 +0000 turkeylurkey 2091926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally don't think time outs work at this young age but I think it is good to start the process. Right now my 26 month old thinks it's funny to put others in time out. I just don't think the connection is quite there yet as to why or what time out means. I try mostly re-directing the bad behavior when possible. I also don't keep him in time out for long because again I just don't know how much of the connection to the bad behavior and the consequence there is just yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/time-out-discouraging-bad-behavior-in-21-month-old#post-2091907 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:06:15 +0000 AggieDaze 2091907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've just recently started doing 1 minute time outs for things that hurt others (hitting us or the dogs/throwing things) or are dangerous for LO (standing on chairs).</p> <p>It felt like it was time since he was very aware that he was doing something he shouldn't. </p> <p> Well, the first two days it worked... It seemed to discourage the bad behavior. I could even ask if he wanted to go time out, and he would stop what he was doing...</p> <p> Today, he is doing things purely to get put in time out - over and over. And he actually says yes, he needs time out and walks to the corner (vs being held there). Only thing I can tell different about today is that I've had to work on my phone a lot more than usual so he may be doing this to get attention. But, it's pretty impossible not to give him attention in time out because I have to physically hold him there. </p> <p>Thoughts? Does time out just not work for my kid? Am I doing it wrong? Other tools that helped your early 2 of before 2 year old's behavior. </p>