https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 15:52:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2900122 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 20:56:59 +0000 MLE81 2900122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for all of the replies and advice! DH was hoping to take his leave after Christmas, anyway, so it’s helpful to know that this is probably the best scenario. I think he has some flexibility if I end up having a more difficult postpartum experience, but otherwise that will be the plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2900115 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 18:06:32 +0000 petitenoisette 2900115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Def think it’s a great plan to have DH take 1-2 weeks right away and then save the rest of the leave for later. I had a c-section and was totally fine a week later, even with our three year old home most of the time (though I didn’t drive until after my 2 week check up. I could have before then, the only thing my OB would have been worried about was if I was on narcotic painkillers but I jut took ibuprofen). . And if you think you’ll hVe help, even better. I have family around but just never really needed or asked for help after either of my kids were born. </p> <p>It would have been amazing if post the initial 2 weeks home my husband had had a second longer leave later on! Also If you wait and you’re in a better financial position due to overtime you might be able to do some family travel or more fun activities. Whatever you decide, good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2900108 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 16:18:37 +0000 ALV91711 2900108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: I wish we could have swung 18 months with DS2. </p> <p>My DH is self employed so he got no time off. He didn’t really work the first week with DS2 and was able to look after DS1 while I was in the hospital. </p> <p>In your situation I think I’d have him be home the first week and then take the rest after Christmas. As previous posters have stated the first couple months with the second isn’t as hard and by the time Christmas is done you will be tired and want the extra help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899922 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 08:36:28 +0000 Shantuck 2899922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my second, my husband had just started a new job at his company so he took off maybe 3-4 days when the baby arrived and then used the rest of his time at the end of my leave to help with my transition back to work. My husband actually had a job that involved a lot of travel at the time and my 4 year old was also adding to the nightly wake-ups. I ended up having my mom stay with us a few times when my husband had longer business trips (but also because I had postpartum complications and was back in the hospital 6 weeks after childbirth). My 4 year old had daily preschool so I didn't need to be the sole source of his daily entertainment, which also helped. I'd probably take the family help and have DH take advantage of a lucrative financial time to be working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899890 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 18:34:09 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2899890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took leave as DW gave birth to both our boys, also in Canada but we didn’t get that partner 5 weeks because our sons were both before that! I’m so happy we have that now! </p> <p>Our first son I took 3 months off with part of that through EI and part unpaid, as soon as he was born. He was premature so it was sudden and he required a lot of help feeding so I was super glad to be there. Then I did a few months at 80% schedule so 4 days per week. This time, I took 5 weeks EI after he was born, 4 days per week at 80% pay for the year, another 4 weeks EI when he was 11 months old and tacked on a week of vacation to make it 5 weeks total. This 5 weeks coincided with the end of DW’s leave, summer vacation for our older son and obviously our younger wasn’t in daycare yet so it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to have all of us off together in the summer for an extended time.</p> <p>I absolutely would not have been able to go back a week or even 2 after either boy was born, personally.. It’s just so hard when you’re first figuring it out. We also have taken a very even split in feeding and night duties so I wanted to do my share as long as I could. That being said, almost everyone we know has done the 18 month leave option with the partner taking 1-2 weeks up front and then extended leave at the end. As in like 4-6 months at home with baby after the birth parent goes back to work. We couldn’t stretch it the full 18 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899855 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 12:44:50 +0000 foodiebee 2899855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a similar experience to @caitcat and we did what she said they plan to do. My DH took the first week off, then sprinkled his remaining time in later when our moms had gone home and I didn't have other help and sleep deprivation was weighing on me. It worked well for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899853 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 12:41:36 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2899853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband usually used a bit of vacation then took the 5 weeks later on. </p> <p>As a cautionary tale, it takes a while to get that first EI check. Like I think my husband was back to work before he got it. So bulk up savings to account for that too if possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899851 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 12:37:35 +0000 graceandjoy 2899851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do later for him, like you said to just pick up extra $ if you're nervous about money. Besides not sleeping and feeding 24/7, I actually think the 1st month is pretty easy as baby is sleeping all the time and you'd have help with household stuff &amp; your DD. </p> <p>I went through 2 maternity leaves with zero pay; it will be okay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899844 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 11:36:35 +0000 bhbee 2899844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you can get some other help in the early days I’d wait and take the leave in January. I think 8 weeks old was a harder time than newborn for all my kids ... especially after the first when you know what to do. Plus January is cold and dark and company might be very welcome. And you can spend the extra money on some fun times as a family. Of course it’s hard to know what your baby will be like until they get here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899843 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 11:33:43 +0000 caitcat 2899843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure how helpful this is, since we haven't actually done this...but our plan if we have a third is for my husband to take a week off initially and then plan to take more leave a month or two (or maybe more?) later. With both of our girls so far, he took just two weeks off straight away. With our first, I really needed his help those first couple weeks because I had a difficult delivery and was in rough shape. With my second, I felt like I would have been okay without him after just a few days if he'd really needed to go back to work. It was a totally different experience. </p> <p>With both of our girls, the first 3-4 weeks (though exhausting), I felt like I was still running on adrenaline and could power through pretty well. I struggled way more after the accumulated lack of sleep caught up to me and when they became fussier around 4-6 weeks old. I would have killed for my husband to be home for a bit when my second daughter was about two months old. She was a pretty easy newborn in the first few weeks, but became a dreadful sleeper and was only really content through the day and night if I held her, preferably while bouncing/moving. I would have loved another pair of hands at that point! The novelty of the baby had also worn off for my older daughter at the time, and she was acting out a bunch more...so I feel like it would have been a welcome relief to have more help on that front too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/timing-of-parental-leave-for-dh-advice-needed#post-2899835 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 10:36:41 +0000 MLE81 2899835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m back again, asking for advice/feedback :). Thanks in advance to anyone who is able to take the time to read and respond!</p> <p>Our second baby is due Nov. 8 and my mat leave “officially” starts Nov. 4. (unless baby makes an early appearance). We live in Canada so I am able to be off for 12 months, mind you with only 55% of my salary in Employment Insurance Benefits. </p> <p>DH has the option to also take up to 5 weeks of parental leave, during which time he would also only receive 55% of his salary. While financially this would make it a tough 5 weeks for us, we can make it work, and we both want to take “advantage” of the opportunity with this baby since this supplemental parental leave wasn’t available when our DD was born. </p> <p>So the question becomes, when should DH take these weeks?</p> <p>Part of me feels like the first five weeks after baby is born will be the toughest and it would be nice to have DH home 24 hours/day to help with the baby and our 3.5 year old DD. However, this would mean that depending on when baby actually arrives, DH may miss out on good overtime opportunities at work which means more $$ for us. He’s a postal worker so November/December are extra busy months with lots of weekend overtime shifts for parcel delivery (he would not be eligible for these shifts if he is on leave). </p> <p>Another option is he could take a week’s vacation from Nov. 10-16, and probably a second week either before or after (depending on when baby comes) using accrued lieu days. He could then return to work until the end of Dec., pick up a lot of overtime to help beef up our finances, and then take his five week leave in January (or any other time within 52 weeks of baby’s birth, technically). Of course, this would mean he’d be working more and around less to help at home in Nov./Dec., but my mom is willing/able to step in to help if/while he’s working. </p> <p>Any advice on what makes more sense from both/either a financial and/or practical perspective? </p>