https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 10:44:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler/page/2#post-2157650 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 20:54:09 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2157650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you'll be OK. Screentime and snacks can help when you need them.<br /> I'm taking my two cross country for a wedding by myself and am not that worried about it. People will understand if you have to duck out every so often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler/page/2#post-2157643 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 20:46:48 +0000 smores 2157643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best of luck! Seems like it would be best if you went to the ceremony and utilized a nursery space or "quiet" room when/if your toddler gets antsy or the baby needs to be fed. People will<br /> understand if you need to leave the ceremony for a few minutes for the kids' sake. And your DH/MIL should be able to help more at the reception and if I were you, I would go to the reception for only as long as your toddler can handle it and then leave. You will have a newborn for goodness sakes! I was lucky if I showered when my LO was a month old, let alone go to a wedding with a toddler too! I think it should be enough to make an appearance and then leave soon after to get your older one to bed. </p> <p>Good luck! My DH and I are both in my SIL's wedding next month and my son will be 10 months. My parents are invited too so they will be with him during the ceremony and then take him back to our house and my friend will be with him that evening at our house until we get back from the reception. (We're lucky it's a local wedding) but he hasn't spent much time with this friend so I'm not sure how he'll do, but I trust this friend 100%. I know my in-laws are not happy that he won't be at the reception but it starts an hour before his bedtime and I just could not figure out how we could bring him to the reception but have him in bed at a decent time. We certainly could not leave that early to take him home. I think my SIL has "hired" a teenager who will be watching kids at a hotel for the evening but I am not comfortable with that, plus he'll need to be sleeping! My in-laws will just have to get over it!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2157619 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 20:23:58 +0000 regberadaisy 2157619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your toddler get screen time? Can you buy headphones and just let him watch some tv on your phone during the ceremony? Get him to run around a lot oitside beforehand. Bring tons of snacks etc.</p> <p>As for the reception I agree with stay until he loses his shit then pack up and leave. He might surprise you especially if there are other young kids around. Hopefully your baby will like to be worn then it's really doable to watch your toddler and have a NB I hand. It's only one day and it's your BIL's wedding! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2157610 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 20:16:08 +0000 Matcha Latte 2157610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just skip it and let your husband go by himself. </p> <p>I was a maid of honor 3 months post partum and my husband came along and looked after my son while I was out doing the pictures etc. my son of course couldn't be expected to sit quietly through the ceremony or dinner so I just would take breaks go and pump. My friend was a bit upset that my husband couldn't come for the the ceremony or dinner but honestly no one really understands how it is until they will have kids themselves and be in the situation. I mean there was no way we were comfortable with leaving my 3 month old with A sitter we have never met before.... While they may be expecting you to come to the wedding I think it is unrealistic of them if you aren't able to have someone help with watching the kids. Also you probably won't be able to enjoy it much if you are by yourself watching your kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2157606 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 20:08:40 +0000 cat620 2157606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: They have no suggestions at all. My husband says he will try to help as much as possible, but I'm not sure what he can do since he's in the wedding. When I talked to my father-in-law about my concerns, he brought up how his cousin came to his wedding with a two week old, so he doesn't see why I would have a problem with a one month old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2157601 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 20:02:06 +0000 Anagram 2157601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: This is your husband's family--has your husband come up with any solutions? Someone in his family really needs to entertain/take charge of the 2 year old so you only have to worry about the infant (and can leave if the baby cries or if you don't feel comfortable nursing during the ceremony). The other person in charge of the 2 year old would also have to be willing to leave the ceremony if needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2157596 Sun, 26 Apr 2015 19:58:31 +0000 cat620 2157596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: My MIL told me her friend will not be able to help, since she will be out of town the weekend of the wedding. I have no other people that I can think to ask at this time, so I'm still not sure what to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2133687 Mon, 06 Apr 2015 08:35:00 +0000 cat620 2133687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I talked to my MIL about the wedding over the weekend, and she said she has a friend who is good with kids who might be able to come to the wedding and help me out. She'll ask her if she's available that weekend and then get back to me. That seems to be the best option so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2131320 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 19:08:28 +0000 Veggiemama 2131320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went to a family wedding 3 hours away when our kids were 9 and 28 months. My husband was not in the wedding so he was there to help me some but it was his family so he was expected to mingle and visit with his very large family. For the ceremony they hired a baby-sitter for the church nursery which was nice in theory but there was no way my kids were going to be left with someone they didn't know, they started freaking out when we even went in the room with them. So we basically hung out in the back of the church and when they got too loud I took them in the nursery but stayed with them. </p> <p>We had some time before the reception so we skipped the cocktail hour and went back to the hotel so I could breastfeed, change diapers, etc. The reception was really stressful, it was very loud and overwhelming for my LOs to see all of these people (again, huge family) they didn't know but who were excited to see them, plus it was well passed bedtime at that point. We basically ate dinner as fast as possible and then left. I know we pissed off a lot of family members by doing that but I felt like we showed up and did the best we could!</p> <p>I would say the same to you, just do the best you can and do what's best for you kids. If that means leaving the reception early or even missing parts of the wedding/reception entirely then that's what you have to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2131225 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 18:38:33 +0000 cat620 2131225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: Whenever I talk to my husband about the situation, his immediate response is that he will help me out. I know his intentions are good, but he will be far too busy with groomsman duties to be of much help. He hates to inconvenience people, so I think that's why he would rather do everything himself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130852 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 14:00:48 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2130852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: what about having your husband talk to his family? Does he have suggestions about who in his family (aunt, cousin, nephew) would be a good helper/pair of eyes &amp; hands? You or your husband should definitely talk to MIL or BIL about the guest list and see who can help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130564 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 11:50:39 +0000 autumn865 2130564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally feel for you! This summer we have my SIL's wedding where DH is groomsman, I am maid of honor, DD1 (3 years old) is flower girl and DD2 will be just shy of 5 months. In terms of the catholic ceremony most churches have a "crying room" that you can sit and listen while having small children. That will be a more private place for nursing as well. If here is t a crying room we have spent many masses with our LOs in the lobby/ entrance way lol. For the reception I would talk to your IL's and see what they think about having a babysitter a company you. Or if they dont like the idea of you having a plus one, maybe they could link you up with a family friend or aunt or something that wouldn't mind helping you out through the course of the day. Bottom line though you need to do what's best for your LO's despite the opinion of others. If missing the ceremony is the best thing for you or leaving early at the end of the night is best than you should do it. In Our case our LOs will not be partaking in the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. People aren't happy that the kids won't be a part of the celebration the night before but it's be best thing for our family to have only one crazy busy/ off schedule day instead of two and people will just have to be ok with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130406 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 10:30:07 +0000 merriment 2130406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, you might just have to make peace with the fact that you will only be able to stay at the reception until you sense your toddler is starting to lose it. Kids surprise you and perhaps the excitement of it all will impact them, but I think you should just plan to stay as long as you can and then just leave. If your toddler can nap in the stroller perhaps bring that so you have some options (my nieces fell asleep in their stroller in a corner of the ballroom during my wedding). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130375 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 10:16:02 +0000 cat620 2130375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merriment: There is a cousin invited who has three young children, but I doubt she'll make it. She would have to make a 12 hour drive to get there. Not sure about local friends from my BIL. Most of the people he knows are from college and are still single without kids. </p> <p>@hilsy85: That could be an option. My MIL does our babysitting now, and we like to use her since she's free. My concern with hiring a babysitter for the wedding would be the cost associated with it. I would have to pay her travel expenses, hotel room, and her hourly rate. I'm not sure if it's worth it, especially since we already have a lot of costs associated with the wedding (big bachelor party, presents, tuxedo rental, and our own travel expenses). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130141 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 08:33:23 +0000 hilsy85 2130141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: is it possible for you to find a new sitter now and start using her occasionally so you're comfortable with her by the fall? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130137 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 08:32:09 +0000 merriment 2130137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, it's so tough!!<br /> Does your husband know if there are any other people invited who will have children of a similar age? Maybe you and another parent can take turns hanging out at the hotel while the kids sleep?<br /> Alternatively, does your husband or family in the area know of any local friends who have a sitter they could recommend? It would still make me tense, but seems less random than care.com.<br /> Sorry, this is going to be hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130094 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:59:35 +0000 yellowbird 2130094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: I'd probably just skip it or sit in the very back and expect to leave the ceremony of your toddler acts up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130089 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:49:02 +0000 cat620 2130089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fuzzypeaches: I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my son with someone I didn't know well, so that rules out local people. There are really only a handful of people I would leave my son with. I know that makes it harder on me, but I would just be worrying the whole time about him and wouldn't enjoy myself at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130083 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:44:01 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2130083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: oh perfect! Sometimes hotels have people they recommend as sitters! </p> <p>Or possibly the local people (you bro/sis in law) might have friends with kids that can recommend someone? If you could get the toddler to sleep then all they would have to do is sit there and watch! And the baby can party along with you?</p> <p>Eta: I just read about your comfort level with people you don't know well whixh totally makes sense! So that probably wouldn't work :p </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130081 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:41:00 +0000 cat620 2130081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@fuzzypeaches: We're planning to stay overnight in a hotel for sure! It's a long drive to make after the wedding, especially with the reception going to 11pm or later. However, I can't think of anyone who could sit in the hotel room with my toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130076 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:37:47 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2130076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in your position as well (my brother will be getting married followed 3 weeks later by my brother in law, both out of town!) </p> <p>In my case the locations are so far that I'm renting a hotel room anyways and having someone sit for me in the room so that my toddler can nap and sleep as much on his schedule as possible. My parents are helping me on one occasion and the second I think I'm having a friend who lives local do it. Is it possible for you gys to do a hotel like that?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130057 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:11:41 +0000 hilsy85 2130057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: I agree! If they want you to come, they will figure out a way to make it work for you. Also, even if you wouldn't feel comfortable leaving LO1 with a new babysitter, if you could even bring her along as an extra pair of hands for you, that would be helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130055 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 07:04:19 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2130055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was the one having the wedding with my SIL due 6 weeks prior to and an 2.5 year toddler. We invited her in-laws to the wedding, mainly to help her. My BIL wasn't in the wedding. We also had a midday wedding to make things easier. We wanted family at our wedding. My point is ask what can be done to make it easier for you to attend the wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2130026 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 06:25:20 +0000 cat620 2130026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: I will talk to her and see what she says. Hopefully, she has an idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2129933 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 22:38:18 +0000 skipra 2129933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not the same because I had DH but we went to a wedding when our guys were 4 months and just turned 2. During the pretty short ceremony I had to stand in back and kind of bounce the baby. If you have to leave the church and go for a walk with the kids then do it.<br /> I am usually a stickler for getting my toddler to bed but we stayed later than I expected at the reception. He had so much fun! Running around and dancing with his cousins.. The baby pretty much slept in the car seat at the table until the dance music started and we left. Overall it was sooooooo much easier than I expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2129930 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 22:24:26 +0000 birdofafeather 2129930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: Utilize your MIL now and don't wait until the baby is here. Tell her that you realize you'll need help and see if there is an aunt/cousin/other fringe family member that can help you out! If they want you there and it sounds like they do, asking your MIL to partner with you for a solution is the only way you'll do it and possibly enjoy yourself/not go crazy/not have your toddler throw a wedding ending tantrum (because even when my kid is an angel, if I'm a month (more or less) PP and nursing and have a newborn in hand in a fancy dress, something horrible/awkward/frustrating will happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2129927 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 22:12:33 +0000 cat620 2129927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I appreciate all the comments! I feel like I'm stuck, because the best option would be for me to bring someone along, but I can't think of anyone. My family all live far away and won't be available, and my friends all have small children of their own. My one friend who doesn't have kids, simply doesn't like them, so I doubt she would want to babysit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2129925 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 22:09:42 +0000 cat620 2129925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lilbear: I've only had my MIL and a close friend babysit for me, so I wouldn't feel comfortable using care.com or someone I don't know well. </p> <p>@merriment: I'm not sure about the other relatives. Since this is my husbands side of the family, I'm not close with a lot of them and I'm not sure who is planning to go to the wedding. </p> <p>@birdofafeather: My family all live several hours away, and they aren't available to help. I don't have siblings and my parents are out of the country most of the time. As for friends, most of mine have small children of their own or they simply don't like kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2129922 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 22:02:20 +0000 birdofafeather 2129922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I would bring my mom, sister or patient BFF. You're going to have a newborn and a toddler, they have to understand (or my DH would make them understand) that you need help! My friend flew her MIL to New Orleans from CA to help with their 3 month old when her brother got married. You're going to need another set of hands! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tips-on-how-to-survive-a-wedding-with-an-infant-and-a-toddler#post-2129914 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 21:51:11 +0000 merriment 2129914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would really try to bring a babysitter or friend along.<br /> Hopefully the church will have a cry-room (seriously, they are the best thing ever). I would not plan on bringing your toddler to the reception. After the service (and pictures?), then go with your babysitter/friend back to the hotel. Help get your toddler settled and then go to the reception.<br /> You don't need to ask for a "plus one" for the reception, you would just be having help during the ceremony and pictures. If you can't bring a friend or babysitter, perhaps there is another relative who would be keen to help keep an eye on the toddler (an aunt or teenage niece or nephew or cousin?) during the ceremony and pictures. You would have to figure out something for the reception, but at least that would be a start...? </p>