https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 20:13:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-492780 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 22:31:35 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 492780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: totally agree:) love our LO and he was worth it, but mamas gotta get her sexy back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-492364 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:39:12 +0000 photojane 492364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: You are gorgeous, lady. H's daddy is a lucky dude, and I'm sure he counts his blessings every time he looks at his hot mama wife! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491726 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:20:17 +0000 Running Elley 491726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MerryC: Your post just brought tears to my eyes. I remember that longing and you're right... This is worth the arm flab. Si worth it. Thank you.</p> <p>@PrincessBaby: You are a gorgeous woman. And I know how much you've agonized over setting a good example for Harper. Part of that is that it'll be easier when you feel good about yourself. You WILL get there. Just know you have people to talk to when it gets hard. Sending you and Harper lots and lots of love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491718 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:18:14 +0000 MsLipGloss 491718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves @RachieCakes: Agree! While what you look like does not define who you are, it is an important part of who you are. I worked very hard to maintain my figure pre-pg, and to the extent possible, I plan to get it back! I also agree that even though I understand that my LO is so much more important than how much I weigh or how flat my tummy is, I am a happier, more relaxed, more confident person when I am happy with my physical state. </p> <p>@PrincessBaby: I just want to add that I did not intend for anything I previously posted to imply that this was not a vitally important issue and that you should just *settle*. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491689 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:04:34 +0000 rachiecakes 491689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves: "I refuse to allow people to make me think being a mom is enough and getting in shape or back to Pp body is impossible or unimportant" </p> <p>agree :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491680 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:59:14 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 491680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to admit I didn't read all of what the PP said because im in my car parked at the bank, but, @PrincessBaby: although body image is not everything, I do believe being in shape is beneficial obviously for physical health but also for emotional health. I feel better when I'm thin -ill admit it. Come on, who doesn't. Lets be real here. I can be a better wife &amp; mom if my self esteem is high. Sure-myhusban loves me either way but I want to be "me" again!<br /> I started the 3ds about 5 days ago and I can feel things tightening up already and yesterday my husband (who thinks my body is still super sexy even tho it's totally not) said he can me getting "tiny" (his words!" Again. So that def encouraged me to keep going.<br /> Oh and as far as your current body- stay away from skinny chicks and the mirror for a few weeks;) I almost cried when my sis came to visit me 1w PP while wearing my old PPreg jeans that I had lent to her;) you will get there! I can be your workout buddy if you want;) we can text before after pics and even bitch about Jillian together;) I'm determined and I refuse to allow people to make me think being a mom is enough and getting in shape or back to Pp body is impossible or unimportant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491653 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:49:50 +0000 shopaholic 491653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MerryC: Love this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491513 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:05:47 +0000 bpcmarj 491513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: just wanted to add that I think feeling frumpy is the curse of the new Mom. Like someone else suggested, getting so,e cheap temporary clothes that fit will do a world of good. I weigh less than I did now at 8 months pp and STILL feel frumpy in yoga pants and a tshiry day after day. Also, regarding the flat stomach, my midwife told me it can take months for your uterus to shrink back down to the size it was before baby. So while you may see it as pudge or whatever, it is your body still physically recovering from having a baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491511 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:05:13 +0000 littlek 491511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: 8 pounds is nothing. You will lose it in time. Give yourself time to heal and enjoy your LO! You just had a baby so you should be taking it easy anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491468 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:55:13 +0000 PrincessBaby 491468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone:)</p> <p>Just to note, I think about how I will teach H about body image all the time, because like many of you who have also had ED, I inherited body image issues from my mother. I don't want to do that to H for sure.</p> <p>I am going to respond individually later...I just wanted to thank all of you for really giving me something to think about....:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491458 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:53:16 +0000 Smurfette 491458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MerryC: Perfect response </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491440 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:50:32 +0000 MaisyMay 491440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 16 days PP and am pudgy. I really want to start doing crunches or something, but am refraining until I get my all clear. Physically I feel fine, and am actually at a lower weight than I've weighed in probably 10 years, including all of pregnancy, but I just feel icky. I know that I need to wait, but it's hard. You have to take care of yourself, especially mentally! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491410 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:46:29 +0000 MsLipGloss 491410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MerryC: What a lovely and poignant response. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491334 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:27:20 +0000 LittleFox 491334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm only 2 weeks post partum, so my body is still all out of whack. I just wanted to chime in and say to not be so hard on yourself. I also agree with everyone saying to think of how it will affect your daughter. Growing up, my (thin) mom was always noting how "fat" she was, and how pregnancy specifically changed her body for the worse. It really affected my own relationship with my body while growing up, and even when I became pregnant I often had this refrain going in the back of my mind that pregnancy would ruin my body. My mom never ever had anything bad to say about me or my weight and was actually very encouraging, but seeing her beat up on herself had a profound effect on how I viewed my body and my weight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491142 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:31:56 +0000 twinmama 491142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love, I remember where we both were a year or two ago. We would have done anything for the sweet little children that are now in our arms. While I completely empathize with not loving what you see in the mirror, I would much rather deal with the baby weight than the constant ache in my soul from longing for a child. I completely understand that it is different for you having struggled with an ED. But, now that Harper is here, you would absolutely do anything for her, right? That doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself, or achieve your own goals....but you owe it to yourself and Harper to find a way over the obsession on your weight. You would be heartbroken if Harper ever spoke about herself this way, right? Or maybe even read what you just wrote in your post? Your body just did an amazing thing, growing your little girl. And now it's priority is healing you and nourishing her.</p> <p>I've really tried to focus on modeling healthy habits for my kids instead of fixating on the stubborn lbs. I actually run on the treadmill mostly when they are awake now, and just let them play on the floor beside me...stuff like that. Does my upper arm flab make me crazy? Yes, everyday. But am I going to work out so hard that my arms are too sore to carry them? Heck no. Babies don't keep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491133 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:27:54 +0000 hilsy85 491133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: I totally sympathize! I also struggled with an ED for several years, and now that I am no longer pregnant, I find it scarily easy to slip back into that mindset ("Hmm how many meals can I skip today?' "Maybe I"ll have another coffee instead of a sandwich" etc). I also worked out throuhgout pregnancy and didn't gain a ton of weight so I kind of thought the weight would just fall off. And a lot of it has, but our bodies are just DIFFERENT after having babies! I actually find this post partum period harder than being pregnant and having a belly, because now that I'm thinner than while preg, I feel like I should be back at my pre preg body, but I'm not. Bottom line, we need to cut ourselves some slack. I honestly just avoided mirrors for the first 8 weeks, or whenever I felt especially down about my body. I'm now trying to focus less on my weight and more on building strength and muscle, while I"ll need to chase LO around! Also, you're BFing right? According to this, the greatest weight loss due to BF occurs during months 3-6!! So you might see a greater loss in the coming months. <a href="http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html</a></p> <p>Just hang in there, hun--you're also still dealing with those fun pp hormones, which for me made a lot of things seem really really bad. It will get better and you will start feeling more like yourself and way less frumpy (not that you could ever be frumpy! You are a MILF fo' sho'!). And I also agree with pps who said think about when Harper is older--how do you want her to think about her body? She's going to learn from you, and it's never to early to start practicing what you'll be preaching. As someone who grew up with a mom who also had/has an ED, I can tell you it has a hugely negative effect, and I know you only want health and happiness for little H! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491070 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:58:04 +0000 T.H.O.U. 491070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: Even with BFing I have lots the baby weight plus some and still have a lot of skin on my belly! There is no pill for that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491034 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:47:55 +0000 lovehoneybee 491034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) 5 weeks pp and only 8 lbs to go is amazing. </p> <p>2) Don't call yourself fat. You look amazing. </p> <p>3) You really should be wait to be cleared before we exercise, and probably shouldn't jump into the deep end. I wasn't actually cleared until 12 weeks pp, and even at 8-10 weeks walking could be too much. </p> <p>4) I can't empathize with having an ED, but I do think that you should see someone. You're very negative about yourself, and you might think it's fine/funny, but someday soon Harper is going to start paying attention. Think about what it will do to her to keep hearing her Mommy call herself a fat wife. You need to be her role model, and yes it's important to stay active and healthy, but I worry you'll be setting her up for a future ED if you're so negative about your own amazing figure. </p> <p>5) Seriously, 5 weeks is nothing. Cut yourself some slack. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491009 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:41:20 +0000 Freckles 491009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: @RachieCakes: me too! I was so mad when i found out that my abs had separated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-491005 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:40:36 +0000 Freckles 491005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely wait until your 6 week appointment to get cleared for exercise. I was okay to exercise but i couldn't do anything strenuous like running/spinning for 3 months while seeing a post-partum physiotherapist. I wanted to die!</p> <p>I know how you feel though, especially if you were in awesome shape before pregnancy. I sometimes felt like i looked better in clothes DURING pregnancy than i did afterwards because at least back then i didn't have love handles! </p> <p>Be patient..especially the first 2 months. The last thing you want is to get injured and not be able to do ANYTHING for a couple of months because you jumped the gun. I'm sure you're looking great right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump/page/2#post-490989 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:35:55 +0000 MsLipGloss 490989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@RachieCakes: I could just hug you! You totally brightened up the light at the end of the tunnel for me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490981 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:33:29 +0000 mole 490981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Totally agree. </p> <p>I hope that you can get into a healthy mindset about your body and weight. I know how difficult it can be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490969 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:30:57 +0000 rachiecakes 490969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: I gained 60 myself and though it was due to pre-e and massive swelling/water weight and I lost almost 40 within a month. I had a good 10-15 that just wouldn't budge while breastfeeding. It stuck around until DS upped his solids and I stopped pumping during the day and then by the time he stopped nursing through the night and AF returned I was back in my size 2's.</p> <p>ETA: this thread has a photo I posted<br /> <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-percent-of-your-body-weight-did-you-gain-while-pregnant" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-percent-of-your-body-weight-did-you-gain-while-pregnant</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490961 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:29:06 +0000 lawbee11 490961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You should read the new US weekly with Kourtney Kardashian on the cover...she talks about how she tried to do too much too quickly after the birth of her first child because she so badly wanted her body back and she basically passed out on the beach one day because she overdid it and wasn't healthy in her approach. </p> <p>She also talks about what she did differently with this pregnancy and how much better it was that she took it slow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490946 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:25:05 +0000 MsLipGloss 490946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Zippylef: I truly believe my weight loss has slowed/stalled because I am BFing . . . but it is worth it for LO, so I keep at it. Hoping to make it to 6 mos and then go from there. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490942 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:23:15 +0000 Silva 490942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is a lovely song by Ani Difranco called "Present/Infant"-<br /> one of the verses is:<br /> but now here's this tiny baby<br /> and they say she looks just like me<br /> and she is smiling at me<br /> with that present/infant glee<br /> and i would defend<br /> to the ends of the earth<br /> her perfect right to be </p> <p>I have a tendency to be very hard on myself about my acne, which has gotten much worse during pregnancy. When I catch myself beating myself up I try very hard to remember that I want this little baby to feel so good about him or herself, and so I need to set the example of self love.<br /> Try to be gentle on yourself. If you have a history of an ED, and you are noticing some of those old thought patterns coming back, it may be worth seeking out some counseling to help you get through this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490937 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:22:48 +0000 loveisstrange 490937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I AGREE! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490933 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:21:22 +0000 loveisstrange 490933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you heard the "9 months up and 9 months down"? Well, it's true. Your hormones are still out of whack, your body is in crisis mode trying to recover. Cut yourself a little slack.</p> <p>I was told absolutely NO exercise until after I was cleared at 6 weeks pp. Things have to have a chance to heal. If you try to do too much too early, you can damage your muscles and tissues even more.</p> <p>Also, BFing doesn't always equal weight loss. Some women (especially women who are very tiny) can hold on to a few extra pounds until they wean because their body needs the extra weight to keep up production. This happened to a friend of mine. She BFed and thought she was going to lose all her weight really quickly. She held on to the last 5lbs until her son was a year old. She weaned him and BAM that 5lbs was gone with no effort on her part.</p> <p>I think 8lbs is ridiculously fantastic at 5 weeks pp. Give yourself a little more time to relax, enjoy your bebe, and take it easy. You're gorgeous, girl. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490928 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:20:10 +0000 yoursilverlining 490928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PasteMoo: I agree with everything you said.</p> <p>I’m not trying to be a bish, but I totally disagree with you that the long-term solution to dealing with your ED is to just stay slim. If you really feel like you are “his FAT wife” for being 8lbs. up a month after giving birth; I think you need to actually deal with those issues because the odds are that you, like 99% of the population, will gain weight at some point in the future and you will get "soft". You’ve made a lot of negative comments about yourself and your size throughout your pregnancy just from your posts here. It isn’t healthy for your self-esteem to think that way about yourself. It takes time for belly skin to “retract” (for lack of a better word!) – even if you were at your pre-pregnancy weight 5 weeks out, you are never going to have a totally flat stomach this quickly; so it isn't you being huge, fat or lazy. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and maybe go talk to someone about trying to address the underlying issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tired-of-being-a-frump#post-490916 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:16:43 +0000 pastemoo 490916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: Di d you read "Does this pregnancy make me look fat?" </p>