https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 15:52:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2568171 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 15:07:49 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2568171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The more miscarriages I had, the more open I started to become about them. I've had a total of 4 miscarriages with 2 live births, so it was becoming more and more devastating, and I was tired of grieving alone. I was open about my last pregnancy with DS2, and how lucky/blessed we were to have him due to my prior losses.</p> <p>I think it's a very personal decision. I couldn't handle people feeling sorry for me at first. I felt like a failure and didn't want to talk about it. But the more and more it happened, I couldn't keep it quiet anymore. </p> <p>@winniebee: Lots of love to you mama :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2568150 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 14:46:27 +0000 magnoliamama42 2568150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've actually learned to tell certain key people about a positive pregnancy test very early on, just so we will have them to lean on when we find out it's a miscarriage. We've found that for certain close friends and family, we need their support and for them to know what's going on.</p> <p>But I don't discuss it with co-workers I'm not close to and we never say anything on Facebook (I announced on Facebook I was pregnant with our daughter on the day she was born). The people we see or talk to socially every week or every other week, though, we feel the need to tell. Even if we don't *talk* about it much, it is nice to know they know and could be there for us if we wanted to talk about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2567670 Wed, 15 Jun 2016 10:17:46 +0000 winniebee 2567670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was fairly open about our first lost, which happened before DS1 was born. I had multiple chemical pregnancies after DS2 and fewer people know about those. We just lost DS3 at 18.5 weeks (TMFR due to severe medical condition). The whole world knew I was pregnant and now most know that we lost our son (but not the details of it....just that we lost our son). I actually posted on Facebook about his passing. Not the details of why we lost him, but the fact of the loss, his name, and how heartbroken we were. I was extremely reluctant to say anything about it so publicly (especially since I do not share anything personal on FB), but I decided so many of us are shamed into silence...and his birth and death will forever change me so I didn't want it to be swept under the rug. To me, the fact that it was a TMFR versus a miscarriage did not matter. We lost our very much wanted son, are heartbroken and grieving. I'm glad that I did, even if some people were taken aback by it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2566480 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 20:26:41 +0000 travellingbee 2566480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: ditto! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2566469 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 20:02:51 +0000 DesertDreams88 2566469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally found it very helpful to be open about it. I told my closest friends and family, and then coworkers, etc. It helped them understand our emotions and reactions. It was part of recognizing our loss and that helped us process our grief. Like a pp said, almost every woman I talked to confided that she too had had a miscarriage and it was an opportunity to connect and heal and share. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2566432 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 18:33:00 +0000 gingerbebe 2566432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had 2 miscarriages. </p> <p>We struggled with how to process our first because virtually no one knew we were pregnant, but after talking about it, we decided to be very open about it. We felt like when someone dies, part of the grieving process is a public acknowledgment of that person's life and existence, like a memorial service or funeral, for example. We didn't get that with our miscarriage, so we felt like telling friends and family, being open about it, and sharing our feelings on it was our way of memorializing our child and moving forward. We found the process to be very healing and wonderful - especially because just about every woman I talked to confided that she too had had a miscarriage and so many people told me how no one ever talked about miscarriages and that they wish people would be more open about it because its a private hurt so many people carry around.</p> <p>We found the process so healing that we did the same when we suffered our second miscarriage 6 months later.</p> <p>We also named both babies. Consequently, we sent announcements to very close friends and family (like 10-15 people) that we knew would not be made upset about it (i.e. we left out an aunt that suffered a late term stillbirth and DH's very elderly grandmother).</p> <p>This type of thing is totally personal however, so I wont ever tell someone how they should process such a loss. But we felt totally healed from our losses because of our grieving process and the losses really don't affect us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2566419 Mon, 13 Jun 2016 18:07:05 +0000 Sunycaro 2566419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told everyone who I had already told I was pregnant, which was a small group. I didn't want them to ask how I was doing or feeling. I found most of those people I would have told about having a miscarriage anyway. I, personally, don't want to tell a lot of people. I find it makes some people uncomfortable and I find that I don't want to do put the work in to make someone else feel better about the awful thing I'm going through. Maybe that's selfish of me but this (I'm actively miscarrying now) is hard enough.<br /> The only exception was I ended up telling my boss on Friday. He was being hard on me, with reason, and I started crying. I told him and he was really understanding - I was in a lot of pain physically on Friday and I couldn't do my job as well as I should have.<br /> I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. There are things I just don't share with everyone and this will likely be one of them. I also really want to move forward - I can't do anything about the past. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2543743 Sat, 07 May 2016 19:06:32 +0000 Torchwood 2543743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I blogged about it, so all of my friends and family know about all my losses. I think it was very good for me. Writing about it was therapeutic for me, and it meant that they understood why I was sensitive about certain things. I had a cousin due in each of my original due date months from my miscarriages, and another cousin (that never wanted kids) who had a surprise "I didn't know I was pregnant" baby that was supposed to be exactly 6 months older than my late term loss baby. I couldn't handle being around them at all for a while there, and it was good that they knew why. </p> <p>That being said, it's totally up to you what you feel comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2543738 Sat, 07 May 2016 18:55:17 +0000 Alba4 2543738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't share my news of first miscarriage except with close friends and family until time had passed. I was more open with my second one. I don't necessarily bring them up, but I think it is important to discuss these things openly so the topic becomes less taboo. In talking especially with colleagues and friends, I have discovered how many others have gone through losses as well. These women have been a great support system. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2543728 Sat, 07 May 2016 18:19:36 +0000 Silva 2543728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If think it's a personal decision. I initially shared my experience with a lot of people, but found it difficult because I wasn't experiencing grief/sadness in the way they expected. It's just not how I processed it, and although those feelings were there when I shared it with other people I felt I had to "perform" a bit to make them more comfortable.<br /> You can't control how people react, and if you are sensitive to that its worth thinking twice about. Some people may "over react," others may "under react." I don't feel like I'm particularly sensitive, but I think others might have been hurt by some peoples insistence that "it won't happen again," "it wasn't that far along," etc.<br /> it didn't bother me because I can sort of compartmentalize and understand that they mean well, but I know from reading posts here that others have been very hurt by similar comments. </p> <p>In hindsight I wish I'd gone to see my old therapist and processed it out with her in a few sessions. It would have been much more productive than the wreck less spinning around and spewing out that I did for about a month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-share-your-story#post-2543710 Sat, 07 May 2016 17:14:09 +0000 Weswife 2543710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have shared my mc story with a select few but I wonder should I share with more? Would it make me feel better if it wasn't a secret, would others be more sensitive when they don't understand my behavior/ reactions if they understood the reason behind my sadness, fear, emotions? What are your thoughts? </p>