https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 23:17:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408315 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 08:51:47 +0000 erinbaderin 2408315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. I would feel so tempted to reply "No, we share parenting duties equally and it's my turn." Not snotty, just matter of fact, but pretty pointed. However, it sounds like this dumbass isn't going to change his terrible attitude so I don't think it would make any difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408306 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 08:37:28 +0000 SweetiePie 2408306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you SAH and his boss knew this, I think that makes sense to ask - or possibly WAH, but way less acceptable because you're still working and may have a deadline of some sort. WAH does mean flexibility but it's still working. (But I think a lot of people who have never WAH don't understand this and think it's just a bunch of free time). So sorta rude to ask. </p> <p>But if you both WOH then, yeah, rude. </p> <p>I also think that some people who don't have kids don't really get how much they have to be involved in those kinds of situations. Or just how much work a kid is period. My husband and I before we had our son always bitched about how people with kids were always leaving early or coming late or taking off to be with kids. Now that we have one we get that it's not being done as a luxury, it's a need.<br /> (Not making excuses, I don't even know if he has kids, just trying to figure out some of the ignorance in his statement). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408304 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 08:34:15 +0000 edelweiss 2408304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that's blatantly sexist. i'm sorry about that. i would save that email. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408289 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 08:17:32 +0000 Anagram 2408289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yeah, this is ridiculous. DH's direct boss has kids, so is usually pretty understanding with kid stuff (more so than MY workplace, a school, that is surprisingly NOT very flexible at all about kid stuff)--but once or twice made offhand comments asking why Dh would need to stay if our kiddo was sick. And that's because the boss has always had a full time nanny, and we had our LO in daycare, so it's just a different care situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408287 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 08:10:55 +0000 winniebee 2408287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok the only way this is remotely explainable is if you SAH and the boss knows it. If not I would be pisssssssed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408272 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 07:48:08 +0000 looch 2408272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just answer without emotion, or don't answer at all in those kinds of scenarios. You can't win 'em all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408263 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 07:20:40 +0000 Adira 2408263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: hahaha!</p> <p>That seriously sucks though! His boss sounds like an asshat. My husband doesn't have that issue - while I do tend to be the primary parent most of the time, no one bats an eye when Hubs has to be out because the kids are sick or has to pick up someone early from daycare for whatever reason! We'll (as a society) get there eventually... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408224 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 03:47:20 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2408224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I get the same question- How much time do you get off? all the time. Most of my daily interactions are with small businesses and that do not qualify for FML. My 12 weeks sounds like paradise to these people, so I try to downplay it as much as possible. Many working moms I know have to return to work within 2-3 weeks because that is all they can afford. The fact DH has parental leave just blows their mind.</p> <p>@littlejoy: If it weren't for the funky attitude his manager had regarding the 5 weeks leave, I'd chalk up the latest email to his manager overstepping his boundaries and trying to manage your household &amp; the way you two co-parent. However, this guy sounds like an old school sexist. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408220 Mon, 04 Jan 2016 02:55:50 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2408220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Because sadly we are. :( </p> <p>That's obnoxious though! What nerve. I would even find that comment annoying if reversed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408111 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 22:20:58 +0000 DesertDreams88 2408111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: I guess I am being too optimistic when I hope/assume that people know DH qualifies for FMLA because he works for a large school district. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408095 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 22:02:41 +0000 coopsmama 2408095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I think that question is totally fair, actually. My DH has a great job but it's not at a large corporation and they are not covered by FMLA. He doesn't get a day paid for paternity leave. He can, of course, use his paid vacation days but there is no extra leave given to anyone. I'm never bothered by that question and have asked it myself because there is a different answer for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408087 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:58:38 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2408087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband takes more sick days for our son than I do! The reason is because his job has been a lot more flexible than my job/school program.<br /> That is definitely inappropriate. Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408083 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:57:31 +0000 Kemma 2408083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The 1950's called, it wants its attitudes back... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408081 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:56:38 +0000 Mae 2408081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um... that is stupid. And super annoying. My husband will be taking off AT LEAST as many days as me to deal with daycare closures or illnesses! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408078 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:54:28 +0000 PawPrints 2408078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I always assume when people ask "how much time do you get off" they mean fully paid. So my answer to that question was essentially none for me, one month for DH. Then "how much time are you actually taking" was a separate question.</p> <p>To OP's question, sue now!! OMG. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408071 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:50:50 +0000 DesertDreams88 2408071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, what blatantly sexist assumptions!</p> <p>I have a similar mental reaction to everyone who asks DH "So, how much time do you get off?" and we respond, "Well, all parents who qualify for FMLA can take up to 12 weeks.... doesn't matter if they're male or female." It's silly, but I think there's a key difference between asking how much time CAN you take off, vs. how much time you ARE taking off. They always asking him about the former, not the latter. It frustrates me that people don't realize the law treats the genders equally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408065 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:46:41 +0000 youboots 2408065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Duuuude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408063 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:45:12 +0000 MrsRcCar 2408063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I would be livid! 😡😡😡 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408054 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:39:44 +0000 regberadaisy 2408054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: 😮 Wow </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/to-sue-now-or-later#post-2408050 Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:38:30 +0000 littlejoy 2408050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just kidding about suing, but I'm so tired of assumed gender roles when it comes to parenting. We have a delay in our district tomorrow, so DH emailed his boss to tell him that he'd be in late (or not at all). They responded with, "Is your wife out of town?" ... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? </p> <p>(He also took a 5 week paternity leave, and his boss tried to pressure him into only taking 5 days. He later received a written letter from HR explaining that they were sorry, and that they respect his wishes to take time off (not to mention FMLA). </p> <p>Why are moms automatically assumed to be the caretaker in most situations?!?! </p>