https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 29 Jun 2026 05:29:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681596 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 16:07:36 +0000 Cherrybee 2681596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older DD was 2yrs 8mths when her baby sister was born. She took it very hard. She openly disliked the baby for the first few weeks. Then S started smiling and E saw that her face lit up whenever she came near.... and she really loved being so obviously adored. Now E's favourite thing to do it make S laugh - and S (now 9mths) is so in love with her big sister. The first few weeks are hard but you are giving your older LO the most incredible gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681339 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 12:05:16 +0000 avivoca 2681339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did like a lot of others and made all the big changes months before the baby came. When she visited in the hospital, I made sure to hand off the baby and immediately hold and love on my big girl. We told her about how she was a big girl and slept in a bit girl bed and that the crib was for Baby A. It's been really smooth and the girls just love each other. They are sharing a room now (3 months and 3 years), but I think it might get harder when the baby is mobile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681335 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 11:55:55 +0000 Adira 2681335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These feelings are so normal! I remember staying up late sobbing at night because I just felt like we were ruining our older child's life by introducing a sibling who was going to steal attention away from him!</p> <p>But siblings are a gift! My boys are now 2 and almost 4 and they LOVE each other so much! I promise that even if the transition period is rocky, it WILL get better!! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681328 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 11:32:45 +0000 maddyz 2681328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: mostly he's gotten used to the baby nursing. I try to talk to him and read books while u nurse so it's nice time for him to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681322 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 11:28:50 +0000 bubblegum 2681322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@maddyz: See your son sounds a lot like mine. I'm nervous that when it comes time to feed the baby he'll want my attention so bad that things can go sour really quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681317 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 11:26:33 +0000 bubblegum 2681317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: Hey it happens! lol oh good. I'm hoping to talk to him but he doesn't really understand the concept of a new baby </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681315 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 11:25:41 +0000 bubblegum 2681315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Awww little babe!! Thank goodness you guys are able to distract her! Good for you guys </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2681082 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 20:54:42 +0000 maddyz 2681082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DS1 (22 months) wants my attention he takes it out on the baby (4 months) (hitting, sitting on sometimes biting). It happens when I am trying to do something else, like empty the dish washer. It's not really about the baby, it's just the fastest way he's found to get my attention (good or bad) and it works like a charm. I try to take care of the baby first and then talk to him about what he really needs, but it's hard. DS1 also turns into a crazy person when I try to give the baby a bottle. He still gets a bottle of milk 2 or 3 times a day, I couldn't bring myself to take it away before the baby came. He watches a lot of Thomas during bottle time... or when I need to cook dinner and not worry about the baby getting squished. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680994 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 16:41:16 +0000 Modern Daisy 2680994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like you, we made sure to implement any big changes months before the baby arrived. DS was still drinking his milk out of bottles (shame on us!) so we put them away a good 4 months ahead of time. We also talked a LOT about what life would really be like. Not just the positives either. We stressed that the baby would be crying a lot and explained why, etc. it really helped! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680963 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:57:32 +0000 snowjewelz 2680963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: so true! Most of it I know it's just me and my mom guilt. I know DD1 won't even remember life as an only child! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680959 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:54:35 +0000 snowjewelz 2680959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: we did the same shifting a lot of things to DH and she sees DH More than me to begin with but she just has a huge mommy preference so it hasn't been as easy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680958 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:53:04 +0000 snowjewelz 2680958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: her jealousy comes either when I'm about to nurse, she will start whining say no mommy no feed baby sister! Or either midway she will be like pillow off mommy (meaning I'm done and putting nursing pillow away) it usually doesn't escalate since DH will distract her or I will make it funny by pretending to be the baby crying saying I'm hungry! I also tell her this "rule" that we have to eat from both boobies so I will say ok time for the other one! Oh and one more scenario is if I'm nursing when they eat a meal sometimes she yells me me to go sit with them and gets annoyed if I don't. </p> <p>Involving her and asking her to be my special helper is very useful. Not to say I haven't resorted to the iPad more than id like.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680955 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:48:42 +0000 bubblegum 2680955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: That would be awesome!</p> <p>Yes I think that's a great idea. I'm going to for sure do that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680945 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:36:00 +0000 FaithFertility 2680945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: I will try to find the article I read it had a lot of great info, On toddler meeting baby!<br /> Same thing if he is going to come to hospital, have DH or another family member hold baby if the babe is not in bassinet that way you are available :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680941 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:32:03 +0000 bubblegum 2680941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: Thank you for sharing your experience it really helped me feel better and not alone. I actually really like your idea of having someone else hold the baby so he can come to me and hug me if he wants. DS is the same way there are times where it is his way of the highway so I am really hoping he can adjust well when DD needs something before him. Also great tip about nothing "blaming" the baby! I have to remember that when the time comes. I don't want him to resent her </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680932 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:21:17 +0000 FaithFertility 2680932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: Everything you are feeling is so real and is exactly how I felt leading up to delivery!<br /> DD was 22 months when DS was born in Oct. I was so worried of her whole little life changing I cried in the triage room because I knew I just left her for the last time as my only baby!!!<br /> She was absolutely fine the night we left for the hospital (Grandma came to stay) and didn't even miss a beat for the 4 days I was away . DS was in NICU for 4 days so I stayed at hospital and DH tended to her at home.<br /> She is in Daycare so he would go home to pick her up and stay the night with her, wake up send her to daycare then come spend the day with me and DS at hospital and leave again to go get her. She was fine and didn't miss me at all...lol</p> <p>We didn't have her come to hospital to meet lil bro so when we came home she was so happy to meet him </p> <p>I read to have another hold baby so you are available if LO #1 wants to hug you or just go to you first. I did that but she actually went straight to him to show him her baby doll....so sweet!</p> <p>She is amazing with him and the adjustment.<br /> She truly isn't jealous, but can get upset if I am feeding him and can't tend to her right away....but really I don't think that has anything to do with him, more her just being 2 and wanting it NOW! </p> <p>I try really hard to keep life the same, she goes to her sitters during the week (loves it there) so that helps out tons.<br /> I also try not to "blame" the baby for reasons I can't do something..<br /> Example: Shhh be quite the baby is sleeping, I try to remember to say.....It is quiet time I need you to be quiet!</p> <p>We have a new routine now that she knows DS has to go to bed, if I am solo where she is getting really good about going to go get us books or blocks to play with when I am done putting him to bed I tell her then We can play just me and you! She likes that! </p> <p>It is an adjustment and hard, but you find your way!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680913 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:07:31 +0000 bubblegum 2680913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: This alone made me cry. I really hope you're right and that all these emotions are just my own. DS and I are beyond close and hope he knows nothing will ever change that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680908 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:02:37 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2680908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really think I did much in the way of helping DD1. I tried to spend quality time with her, we talked a lot about the baby coming and read books about it. But hindsight is 20/20 and I honestly think it was harder for me than her. I was projecting all these feelings and emotions on her that I didn't see many signs of her really having at all. Add the stress and personal disappointment you feel when you can't fill two needs at once and it's hard and upsetting and if you're like me, you'll probably cry a lot. But everyone will be okay. You and your son have a deep bond, even if he's shaken by the arrival of his sister, your bond won't break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680897 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:55:47 +0000 bubblegum 2680897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: That's awesome! That's what we have been trying to do. We finally got him perfectly okay with daddy doing bath time but he really fusses with potty time and brushing teeth with dad. And bedtime can also be a struggle. We have a few more months so we hope things change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680881 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:43:09 +0000 ShootingStar 2680881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: He adapted really well. When I did mornings DS would always ask where DH was (DH always left before he got up). When we switched at the end of pregnancy to DS doing mornings asked where I was for a while and sometimes comes in while I'm still in bed or feeding the baby, but he's perfectly happy to have DH get him ready. For bed we used to switch off and now DH does 95% of bedtime for him, and he's very happy with that too. </p> <p>I think the key was we made the changes before the baby arrived, so he didn't associate them. They also had a really good relationship going into it, so it wasn't like DS had a huge Mommy preference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680874 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:32:38 +0000 bubblegum 2680874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Awww and how has DS adapted to DH taking more care of him? I know ideally that we'll have the same set up because it'll make life easier on us but not so much easier on him when it comes to some things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680870 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:31:28 +0000 bubblegum 2680870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I'm glad to hear your babe did well when you were gone. That's another fear of mine because I'll be away for about three days. Now if I may ask, what does her jealously consist of? DS is a jealous one and sometimes throw himself on you because he wants attention. We've been working on this with his therapist but I'm nervous for when our babe is home because it'll just be me and the kids while DH is at work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680838 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:14:51 +0000 ShootingStar 2680838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 2 years 9 month older than his sister and he is obsessed with her. We talked a lot about her before she was born and now he just adores her. I think part of it might be that we had DH take over a lot related to DS during pregnancy, and now that DD's born I tend to take care of her more and DH takes care of DS more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680829 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:09:18 +0000 snowjewelz 2680829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in the thick of it! We were so behind on setting up her big girl room (I was so tired), so the night before I went to the hospital was the last night we bed shared. She just turned 2. She was totally fine when I was gone (she is always fine when I'm not around, but super clingy when I am around her). Bc DD2 was in NICU we didn't have DD1 come to the hospital. Honestly I was only away for 1 full day anyway. </p> <p>It def has been an adjustment! She is young tho so I didn't expect it to be all sunshine and rainbows. She is interested in the baby but gets jealous when I'm nursing and literally can't move (but I interact with her). Sometimes she whines when I'm about to nurse but gets over it quickly. She goes to part time daycare so that's been a life saver. I also ask my parents and DH to take her out as much as possible. I also do little thugs with her, just us here and there (go to playground, pick her up from school etc). The worst so far is nap/bed time bc I think it's coinciding with a sleep regression. She fights nap and bed time like crazy! We hope to be out of that phase soon.. Currently DH sleeps in her rom with her, partly so that he can get some sleep too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-and-newborn-co-existing#post-2680821 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 14:01:43 +0000 bubblegum 2680821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe it's the hormones, maybe I'm just a big baby but I can't help but feel so emotional for DS and the fact that he's about to go through so many changes. Last night we painted his big boy room and are making the change of not sleeping with mommy and daddy anymore, which I'm sure is going to rock his world. Then his baby sister comes in April. Then all his therapist change after his third birthday. My poor little man. I want him to feel as special and safe as possible throughout all these changes. </p> <p>I can't help but think how he's going to feel once his sister comes. How did you go about handling and helping LO through the major changes of a new sibling? </p>