https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 03:24:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1524106 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 18:56:48 +0000 immabeetoo 1524106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kml636: That's my main annoyance. I've been trying to "honor the impulse" (I forget what parenting book I stole that from) and give him opportunities to play with his water table and in the tub -- he LOVES to turn it upside down so he can splash in the puddle.Oy vey. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1524031 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 18:27:12 +0000 kml636 1524031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: thanks, I have a major milk thrower over here!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1520946 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 18:28:12 +0000 immabeetoo 1520946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think timeouts at this age is pointless - I see two moms try them at playdates and.. it seems completely futile. All of the local pedis here say not to try until 2. But obviously whatever works for your kiddo! </p> <p>We try as much as possible to do two things that almost eliminate meltdowns for my LO (also 16m): only ask questions that are actual questions, and be very clear about sequence and give 2 choices. If he is throwing his milk around, instead of "can you please stop throwing your milk?" it's "can you stop yourself from throwing milk or do I need to help you?" if he keeps doing it, he hears "can you give that milk to me or do I need to take it?" if he doesn't hand it over willingly, I count to 3 and on 3, I take it. 99% of the time, he will give it over willingly or by 3. When I or DH forgets or is frustrated and takes it right away, instant meltdown. If I try to just pick him up and take him for a diaper change, instant meltdown. If I ask if he wants to walk or be carried, he typically will run down himself and wait for me. </p> <p>We also try to avoid no and present an alternative instantly. I.e. " you can't have a cookie, but you can have a ball. do you want to go find a ball?". We need to put our shoes on to go outside - can you help me find your shoes?" Redirecting and adding an element of 'we're in it together' redirects his focus.</p> <p>Hope some of that makes sense! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1520249 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 13:43:40 +0000 kml636 1520249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: Okay thanks I'm ordering that book right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1520226 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 13:38:44 +0000 cascademom 1520226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrote a thread about this not too long ago. We're at 19 months old. It's gotten a little better. We had a tough night last night with crazy tantrums and two timeouts during dinner because he was exhausted, but wanted his way. What's worked with us so far has been using Harvey Karp's Toddler book. We use the fast food rule for everything communication wise with him. "LO wants a cookie." He nods yes. Okay, you'll get a cookie in the near future. If it's not something we want to give into, we offer alternatives, distract, or redirect. I'm pretty sure that we started timeouts a few months ago. </p> <p>As our daycare lady pointed out, communication is a reward. So timeouts take away communication until he calms down. After that, he's awarded communication, kisses, etc. Increase in vocabulary for him has been huge for preventing tantrums. He still gets tired and acts out. It's more manageable these days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1520209 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 13:33:38 +0000 winniebee 1520209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>16-18 months was bad.</p> <p>18-22 months was great.</p> <p>22 months and it's gotten bad again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1520198 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 13:30:49 +0000 LuLu Mom 1520198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha I joked that 15 months she was a delight and at 16 months she was a terror :) We are almost 18 months and I think we are seeing an end, she's being silly again and not as many tantrums, but they still happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1520188 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 13:28:25 +0000 kml636 1520188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: thanks :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519734 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:15:04 +0000 mrsjyw 1519734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kml636: eeek congrats on babygirl#2!! :) we are in the thick of this right now. the whining, the meltdowns, i am so hoping this is another "this too shall pass" phase!</p> <p>I agree with PPs that talking to him has helped the most and gotten the reaction/resposne that we are looking for out of him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519728 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:13:22 +0000 PinkElephant 1519728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If my 20-month old is really over the edge, I do sometimes give her a one-to-two minute "time out" in her empty crib or playpen. While I don't know that she totally gets it, it gives her time to chill out (and me a much needed minute or two to gather myself)</p> <p>I also try to present alternatives where appropriate (you can't have a cookie right now, but you can have oranges), or let her know when she can have/do what she wants (we'll go for a walk after breakfast; or if you get dressed, we can go outside).</p> <p>Personally I've found that it gets better the more her vocabulary develops - as she gets better with words, at least she can express what's bugging her so I can help her find a solution. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519709 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:09:23 +0000 hilsy85 1519709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, I posted about the SAME thing about a month ago! He is now 17 months and it's gotten better. Sometimes, lol. I think for us, it's really about just heading off whatever the underlying issue is, usually hungry, tired, or bored/overstimulated. It has also helped to make really short statements like "FIRST we put on shoes, THEN we go bye bye to the park! First shoes, then bye bye!" And I just keep repeating that like a maniac </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519367 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 09:53:27 +0000 kml636 1519367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: thanks, that's good advice. I guess I've been trying to ignore the behavior but that is clearly not working! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519316 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 09:36:11 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1519316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that age is typical for more outbursts - toddlers have more opinions/feelings but no good ways to express themselves. Our son went through a "tantrum" phase and is slowly getting better at expressing himself at 18 months. </p> <p>What do you do when she gets upset? Usually I try to identify what made him mad and talk to him about it. "Yes I can tell you want to be held and I put you down. That makes you very sad and angry, too. I'll be able to pick you up again when I'm done with X activity." Sometimes I try to "fix" the problem, like letting him help out, but I mostly talk to him while he's upset and he gets over it more quickly. We also try to prep him for things we know he won't like. So we'll tell him before hand that we're going to change his diaper and let him choose which toy to look at and when he's ready to lay back. It takes longer but we have less fits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519312 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 09:35:13 +0000 autumnlove 1519312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO was ok at 16 months but her tantrums got bad around 18 months. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519277 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 09:27:18 +0000 NovBaby1112 1519277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yep, right there with you!! I've found that the things that trigger my LO the most are when I stop her from doing something she is enjoying to do something else- i.e. needing to change her poopy diaper while she's in the middle of playing, getting her dressed in the morning when she is coloring, etc. I am HOPING that these tantrums/shrieking fits get better once she understands that as soon as I get what I need to get done, she can go right back to doing what she was doing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-behavior-at-16-months#post-1519231 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 09:17:25 +0000 kml636 1519231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Please tell me this gets better... my 16 month old melts down multiple times a day over EVERYTHING... diaper change, put in stroller, put down temporarily, dropped off at daycare, me telling her no, getting dressed... sigh. She has been kicked out of the gym daycare twice now. This never happened before, she always sat and played and was happy to go to normal daycare or gym daycare. </p> <p>We have made the problem worse by taking away her paci, so (before she would melt down and we would give it to her) but that has been over a week ago. I would think she should be self soothing better by now but also We both have been sick :(. My pedi said we could start with time outs but I think she's too young to "get it" at this age. </p> <p>I am starting to panic because she will have a little sister arriving in four months... open to any ideas! </p>