https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 21:06:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868499 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 07:05:17 +0000 MsBAM 2868499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: sorry I meant to say I don’t need my mom for babysitting at all. She wants to watch him once every 2 weeks when she can. I could go there, I don’t go too often bc of the drive working full time...evenings are always quick... dinner, bath, bed but I do have weekends I could try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868487 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 23:31:12 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2868487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: Yeah, I understand why this is hard for you. I would want to make my mom happy too if she was battling cancer. Do you think there is another solution since you mentioned she is childcare more so for you than her? Could you all just visit- alleviate all responsibility on her part and just hang out with her?</p> <p>Or what about her coming to you? Keep your LO in his more comfortable setting and she still gets to spend all day with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868354 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 08:47:52 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2868354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would see if you could set up a little area in their house with some toys for him and some books. It could be just a corner of the family room with a couple of baskets on the floor so it’s not an imposition. I’m thinking like peg puzzles and wooden blocks, or a larger car so your mom is not worried about choking. Also think about what things your mom liked to do with you when you were a child and gear to her interests. We live far from family but my kids look forward to playing with toys at other people’s houses because they are different from the ones they have at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868347 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 07:54:23 +0000 cake2017 2868347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: Do you have the option to hang o ut there with him so that they get this precious time too? Therefore, everyone is comfortable? LO could just not be very comforting with your mom because of the reasons you mentioned so so would hang out there? Weekends etcso that he has time with them but isn’t upset... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868342 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 07:06:27 +0000 MsBAM 2868342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @Mrs Bells: It’s odd bc he seems to prefer my dad bc he’s really the one that babies him etc, but obviously that isn’t enough for LO wanting to stay there. One day I asked my mom if she wanted to keep one of his toys he got for Xmas there... it was like a ramp with some cars and she said no bc she’s afraid he will choke on the cars!!!! If I tried to show her how to play with him, she would just watch me and it wouldn’t even connect in her mind that I’m trying to teach her! Last week though I gave her one of his toys and told her to play with it and make noises. She did for a few seconds but LO wasn’t phased by it. I think bc he actually doesn’t get “played” with using his toys. I don’t know what the heck he is doing during the day. It makes me wonder if he’s bored there. Pretty sure my dad does all the playing with him and my mom meets his needs in terms of food and diaper changes. He’s perfectly happy being there as long as I don’t leave. Then he starts bawling. And I don’t have to rely on her at all. My MIL does the babysitting and the only reason he goes to my moms once in a while is because my mom asks to see him. I think it makes her feel like she’s helping and then she gets to see him too. But when the day comes that he goes there, I dread it and feel so bad for him. I think she has to know he doesn’t like her but I feel bad saying he’s not coming over..... she has cancer and may only has a few years left. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868333 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 05:16:20 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2868333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: do you have to rely on your mom for childcare? Honestly, if my kid was that miserable and my mom wasn’t exactly doing a stellar job I would not take him there. It’s great everyone wants this to happen, but it sounds like your mom isn’t making any effort to improve the situation. FWIW, I have had to teach my parents to varying degrees what is acceptable to say to LO and how to play/ interact with him. My late father was a dream caregiver, he took the advice to heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868330 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 01:23:26 +0000 Mrsbells 2868330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: can you set up a day where you stay at your moms with him and "teach" her how he likes to be played with etc. Hopefully you can encourage her to get more on his level and he will realize that he can enjoy his time there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2868312 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:20:15 +0000 MsBAM 2868312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, last week when my DH picked up LO, my DH said that as soon as he got there, LO was actually pointing at him and dragging his bag to the front door to leave! My mom was like “oh I know we treat you so bad” being sarcastic. I think she knows deep down bc when I get there with him, he won’t even let me put him down, he’s really clingy and won’t let me take his coat off for a bit whereas at my MIL’s, I put him down no problem, coat off and he’s off to play. I feel bad bc I know LO can’t stand going to my moms. I feel bad that he must be miserable all day. And my moms house isn’t exactly baby friendly. She has no toys. I always have to bring a few vs my MIL has so many toys for him. I don’t know what to do anymore. Right now he’s only going to my moms once every two weeks now instead of once a week due to some health issues my moms having, so he doesn’t have to go as often. It’s to the point that he barely will eat there, won’t drink any milk, and sometimes he won’t even sleep. That’s on my mom though. She doesn’t put him to sleep like I’ve told her to. Like to go to another room with no distractions... like when my DH has picked LO up, he’s been asleep on their couch before (with supervison). Ahhh.... oh and she doesn’t have car seat so she can’t really take him to activities.... sometimes she will take him for a walk to visit some people she knows close by. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2864849 Fri, 04 Jan 2019 08:01:08 +0000 Becky 2864849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kind of...my daughters always say they prefer being with my MIL which breaks my mom's heart. They used to cry sometimes when my mom would come to watch them (2 days/week) but it is much better now. Is he okay at the end of the day? It could be similar to when your child cries when you leave them at daycare but they end up liking being there during the day--but it feels worse because it's family. In our situation they would get excited to see my MIL because she usually has something fun going on and/or her house is fun. My mom is much more low key about the day which I actually prefer to an extent because it's hard for me to keep up with MIL, but the kids of course prefer trips to play places.</p> <p>I have shared little activities/things to do with my mom in the past (like from Pinterest) especially when we were both struggling with the kids preferring my MIL. I don't think she did any of them, but it's an idea especially since without a sibling/other child there he's still a little young to play on his own for extended periods of time. Also, does your mom take your son to any activities? My MIL is more apt to take our girls (now it's my 2.5 y/o and my 1.5 y/o niece) play places. There aren't a lot of activities offered on my mom's days, but she takes my daughter to the library every week and when she used to watch them different days there were play groups she would take them too (low/no cost).</p> <p>Instead of dropping your son off to your mom, could you drop him off to your dad since he prefers grandpa? In other words, frame it as "Yay, we're going to see grandpa!" instead of "We're going to see grandma," and have your dad be the one to greet him at the door? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-doesnt-like-going-to-my-moms#post-2864820 Thu, 03 Jan 2019 20:50:12 +0000 MsBAM 2864820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey all,</p> <p>Does anyone else have an issue similar to this? My 19mo loves going to my MIL’s and goes there at least 4 days a week for childcare while I work. My mom will usually watch my LO once a week. He loves going to my MIL’s and never cries when I leave. He naps well there too. I know she gives him tun of attention and gets down on his level and plays etc... similar to how I care for him. At my moms house, he usually cries a lot when I leave and it makes me sad. I don’t know why he doesn’t like going there... but I think it has something to do with the fact that my mom doesn’t really “play” with him. He’s usually attached to my dad all day and my dad just loves being with him and playing with him. It’s not like he’s not getting the attention bc my dad always plays with him! My LO refuses to be held by my mom though. My mom loves my LO, I just think maybe it’s bc she doesn’t get on his level? She does his diaper changes and makes his food. And he almost always will not nap there bc they can’t get him to sleep. I just hate that he cries when I leave him there.... I dread it! But I do want him to see them too.... :bummed: </p>