https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 16:13:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2433123 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 12:50:26 +0000 Bubbles 2433123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: He is very good at asking for what he wants, but if I say no for whatever reason that can often result in him losing his temper. But these are more things that aren't actually a problem... like a request for something that he knows is fine and no problem, or he might even just lay down on the floor, do some fake sobbing and say 'crying on the floor'! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2433118 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 12:47:00 +0000 Cherrybee 2433118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The responses on this thread have been so helpful, thanks all. I hadn't realised until I read back my responses just how overwhelmed and frustrated *I* am with the situation (staying with the inlaws) and so, of course, she feels 10 times worse. She was over reacting when I was putting her in the car after nursery so I said "ahh, you want to go home.". She nodded and looked really sad. When we got to my inlaws, I noticed how both nanny and grandad were simultaneously bombarding her with choices - "do you want a drink?" "do you want a bath?", "apple or orange drink?", "take your boots off", "what colour towel do you want?". Everyone means 100% well - and its not an unusual situation for her - but I can see why she feels overwhelmed. I can help now i understand. Thanks everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432934 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 11:02:03 +0000 Cherrybee 2432934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: I love that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432932 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 11:01:34 +0000 Cherrybee 2432932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: Yes, you're right. I like that. I meant that I cant change the fact that our house is half demolished and we are staying somewhere else - which we have talked to her about a lot - but I could talk to her about the little things, like getting dressed, eating in this new environment. I have previously found that giving her choices is the best way to get her to do something like eat, get dressed, but you're right - it might just be too much right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432919 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 10:54:36 +0000 Rockies11 2432919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: with mine, she does it and I say "oh do you want to be a baby right now?" And she nods yes, and then I scoop her up and rock her and sing rockabye baby while she laughs and screams, and then I put her back down and problem is solved! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432912 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 10:50:50 +0000 pwnstar 2432912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"And if she's confused &amp; overwhelmed by the total change of routine, there's nothing I can do about that."</p> <p>Yes, there is something you can do. You can build more time into getting ready time (even 10 minutes can make a difference). You can talk to her about the changes to routine (both during the routine and at other times too (especially when she's calm and happy)). You can eliminate choices (like which jam. she may be more easily overwhelmed right now). You have options. You just need to identify what they are and make a plan so that when it's happening, you are already prepared to deal with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432906 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 10:48:36 +0000 Cherrybee 2432906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I think, for me, having a theory as to *why* something is happening is really helpful, even if I don't have the time or ability to actually work on the behavior. I can say "ahh, yes, big emotions she cant express.... she's reacting to my pregnancy and copying the toddlers in her class....." and feel at least a little in control! </p> <p>@Bubbles: That's very interesting! When does he tend to do this? I feel as though E *is* upset, or at least very frustrated, but I have no idea why at that moment. She never really had tantrums (she just asked for what she wanted) so this is all new to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432899 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 10:44:17 +0000 ElbieKay 2432899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: "I think she needs to eat her frickin breakfast so we can get out to daycare!! Thats what i think!" I know you are joking, but I understand the sentiment. However, I find that pushing the issue makes it worse with my son. I try really hard to pick my battles, and to ignore or acquiesce to other behavior as much as possible. In this case, if breakfast feels rushed, I might try to change the routine so that there is simply more time for breakfast. Maybe you can sit her down earlier and then do some other chores and talk to her while she eats? Or find a way to enjoy the moment a bit more. When my son -- who is almost two and very verbal -- regresses to making gibberish sounds, I usually parrot it back to him and we wind up giggling together. I could take him seriously and tell him he makes no sense and that he should use his words, but he clearly feels like experimenting with that new sound so I just go with it and join in. And frankly, I am not above sort of making fun of him. If I say something totally reasonable and the response is a shriek or a dramatic "No way no!", I might just parrot him again to sort of reset the tone. Then I redirect. It usually confuses him enough that we are able to reset the tone. Plus it helps me keep my sense of humor instead of feeling frustrated.</p> <p>Sorry this is long and rambly, but maybe something will resonate with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432849 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 10:12:58 +0000 Applesandbananas 2432849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: it's called No Bad Kids, I've listened to some of it and it's kind of hit or miss for me. Some of her suggestions are REALLY good and some of them are really... Not practical for my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432732 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:25:35 +0000 Bubbles 2432732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO (25 mo) has started doing this as I have been approaching the later stages of pregnancy. For him it is complete with the twisty fists in front of the eyes (a la 'the babies on the bus go wa wa wa') - and I can tell he is not really very upset, it's nothing like a tantrum. If I say 'oh dear you're crying' he be all like 'Yes! Crying!' I think for him it's a reaction to becoming aware that he soon won't be 'the baby' any more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432717 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:16:00 +0000 Cherrybee 2432717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I think she needs to eat her frickin breakfast so we can get out to daycare!! Thats what i think! :silly: And if she's confused &amp; overwhelmed by the total change of routine, there's nothing I can do about that. I really need to get that book, I think it would really help me.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432711 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:09:50 +0000 Applesandbananas 2432711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I think she suggests troubleshooting it, if you think she's hungry, offer food, if you think she's overstimulated, get her to a quieter environment, etc. and absolutely acknowledge her feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432707 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 09:07:42 +0000 Cherrybee 2432707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Ugh, toddler logic! She could have what she wants anyway if the question is "do you want marmalade or jam?" and the answer is "jam". Just say jam FFS! :silly: </p> <p>@Applesandbananas: Yeah.... that's also likely. We are staying at my inlaws' because we a re having major work done on the house, so she's pretty unsettled AND she's been ill (I've got it now and can vouch for it being a nasty cold). So how does Janet propose I help her through this? I have been acknowledging her emotions when I understand them, "ahh, you feel sad", "does that make you feel frustrated?" - and it does work if she's upset about something rational. How do I help her express what's bothering her if I don't know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432667 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 08:49:50 +0000 looch 2432667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: That might be it, because she sees them doing that and getting what they want, so she's trying it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432661 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 08:46:20 +0000 Applesandbananas 2432661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: maybe it's that she has some big feelings she can't quite express yet and it's manifesting as fake crying. LO gets very upset over silly things when he's hungry, tired, angry, etc. or otherwise frustrated, and while he can tell us he's hungry, sometimes he just doesn't because he's hangry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432642 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 08:34:37 +0000 Cherrybee 2432642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: Advice is also appreciated, thank you! :happy: </p> <p>@looch: You could be onto something here..... She is stuck in a class with much younger children. She always preferred to play with the slightly older children but one by one they've all moved up. We are just waiting for a spot to open up for her. Maybe she is copying the little toddlers who don't have words yet (we skipped this stage because she learned to speak so early). </p> <p>@Truth Bombs: Yes, perhaps. I wouldn't mind if she wanted to snuggle like a baby.....! </p> <p>@Applesandbananas: She does plenty to irritate me, with the telltale cheeky grin. But this is different somehow - it seems very genuine, like a reaction rather than a deliberate behaviour. But its weird because she could just say what she wants!! </p> <p>@Pumuckl: Fingers crossed it will.... because its very, very annoying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432587 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 07:53:52 +0000 looch 2432587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could it be influence of children in her daycare? I know my son tends to pick up stuff from the other kids in his preschool, some of it not so great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432584 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 07:51:39 +0000 MrsSRS 2432584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oops. I just reread your post and realized you asked why she's doing it, not for advice. Sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432580 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 07:49:23 +0000 MrsSRS 2432580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son does something similar. We say an immediate "nope, use your big boy words," and expect him to knock it off! :silly: Now that we've been asking him to use his big boy words for a while and I have explained that while it's fine to cry if sad or hurt, that sound just hurts mama's ears, we have upped the ante a bit. So now if he starts in with the dramatics I stop what I'm doing and walk away telling him he can come ask for help when he is calm and done with that sound. When he comes to find me I ask if he's ready to use a calm voice and then give a big hug and praise for big boy words and carry on like nothing happened. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432483 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 05:29:50 +0000 Truth Bombs 2432483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My guess is it's a reaction to your pregnancy. Since my 8 week old was born my three year old daughter has been crawling around on the floor making "wah wah" sounds and saying she's a baby. When she does it I usually just point out things she can't do if she's s baby ("uh oh, better put these cookies away since babies can't eat cookies...") and she wants to be a big girl again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432479 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 05:04:00 +0000 Applesandbananas 2432479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've only read part of Janet Lansbury's No Bad Kids, but sometimes tantrums (though this doesn't quite sound like a tantrum) can be totally unrelated to the situation at hand, but their way of expressing big feelings they're not otherwise able to articulate. With my LO (he's not super verbal, he has some vocabulary, but not enough to express big feelings), I gently ask if he's tired, hungry, mad, sad, etc. and he usually tells me no, no, no, no, but I also troubleshoot the best I can and if that fails, I ignore it and let him work through it with me nearby.</p> <p>But this doesn't quite sound like a tantrum. Does she realize this irritates you? Does she give you a cheeky grin when you ask her to stop? It may also be her way of getting your (albeit negative) attention and/or testing you to see what you'll do. LO does this allllll the time. He's got the same cheeky grin DH does and they both love to antagonize me. I just try not to give them the reaction they want! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432472 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 04:17:44 +0000 Pumuckl 2432472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She might be reacting to your pregnancy and just wants to be your "baby" and babies cry 😆<br /> But I guess she also knows it irritates you and likes to push that button. I would probably just ignore it for now and see whether it will disappear within a week or two or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-has-started-fake-crying-when-shes-quite-capable-of-speaking#post-2432466 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 03:25:21 +0000 Cherrybee 2432466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Come on parenting book readers, tell me what this is about!! </p> <p>E is 2.5 and very verbal. For 6 months, she has been confidently articulating her choices. But all of a sudden, this fake crying has started - it sounds like a machine gun - and she does it constantly. Its really bloody annoying! </p> <p>This morning, the exchange went like this: </p> <p>[E had come to the table of her own accord and asked for toast for breakfast]</p> <p>E: I have jam, please?<br /> Me: Yes, of course. Do you want strawberry jam or marmalade?<br /> E: Hehehehehehe (fake crying)<br /> Me: What's the matter?<br /> E: Have jam, waaaaaaaahhhhh.......</p> <p>Then, earlier:<br /> E: Have my stickers hehehehe waaah<br /> Me: Okay, here they are....<br /> E: Hehehehehe waah..... [plays with stickers]</p> <p>I'm baffled. She surely knows she can just ask, with words, because she has been doing it so nicely for so long. Why the dramatics?? </p>