https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 14:05:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2339835 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 08:04:52 +0000 Maysprout 2339835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved a year and a half ago and her and bff still Skype and mail each other's pictures they colored and stickered for each other. And she still misses her. </p> <p>We had a princess dress she had been wanting hanging on her new bedroom door and the first thing I did was set up her new room with all the same wall stickers, bed spread, decorations, etc to give her some sort of safe space. There's lots of unpacking to do, but we made sure to get out and explore and find playgrounds and cool new stuff. But at night especially she was scared and a bit sad (though she loves where she lives now, she just wants her bff to be here too). She was extra timid at her new preschool for a bit so I realized I needed to do a little more to help her feel confidant moving into a new setting (walking her in and waiting outside for min, looking for outside opportunities to play with classmates). It's a tricky balance of being understanding but not letting it become an excuse for bad behavior.</p> <p>Before we moved we talked about the new house and people but didn't push it if she got upset. I'd say stuff in passing though so she didn't think we were not going to move anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2339824 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 07:57:23 +0000 Mama Bird 2339824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!</p> <p>For what it's worth, I left my home at 11 and I must have been a rather dumb 11 year old... I was very excited but was under the delusion that we'd be back to visit in a year or two. I was in total denial that this is forever and didn't focus on saying goodbye to my home and friends, and regretted that for a long time. So like many have said, I think it's better to let her mourn what she's giving up before you leave, and not lay on the excitement too thick yet! And get her friends' contact info so they can try to stay in touch.</p> <p>Kids are so resilient though. She's so young and hopefully it will be an easy transition and she'll find a lot to be excited about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2339740 Fri, 30 Oct 2015 04:17:31 +0000 MamaCate 2339740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: yes I am a therapist for kids and families. Please wall me! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338534 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 10:20:49 +0000 travelgirl1 2338534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: Ahhh you are a therapist! Do you have experience with kids? Can I wall you? :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338346 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 09:36:30 +0000 MamaCate 2338346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: oh I remember your situation! I am sorry it is time to leave. I am admittedly biased as a therapist but I think kids learn a lot about feelings from parents being able to share the mix of feelings they have in a situation like this. You can talk about how you are sad about x and y but think it will be exciting to do z, and let her share the same. And tell her that you will figure it out together. Sometimes I think as parents we want it to all be ok for kids to make ourselves feel better and that can be a disservice to everyone. Good luck! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338295 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 09:09:29 +0000 travelgirl1 2338295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338279 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 09:00:34 +0000 LBee 2338279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: That's a really tough one. I can't even imagine being in your shoes. I'll be thinking about you guys :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338254 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:55:08 +0000 travelgirl1 2338254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: I don't know.... I go back and forth on it. Part of me thinks it would be so much for her to deal with. And I admit, part of it is because of me. I literally don't know how to let her know that we won't be seeing the friends she loves so much anymore. I honestly don't know the best way to do it. We do have my MIL and SIL coming out next week to see us though, we will be living with them in England so the idea is that she will get to bond with them here before we move so when we arrive there she is comfortable with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338213 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:45:51 +0000 LBee 2338213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: Do you think it might help if you let her know that you are moving permanently? I'm just thinking out loud here, but it seems like y'all could then talk about things she wants to do before she leaves, etc. </p> <p>I think it's perfectly normal for her to be struggling. Just validate her feelings and reiterate that it's okay to be sad, but that you know she will love it. It's a lot of uncertainty for a little one (shoot, even adults struggle with moves). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338210 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:44:26 +0000 travelgirl1 2338210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: this move isn't what we want so we're not excited either :silly: It's a visa issue, we have to go back. I guess that is one reason why she isn't excited, because we aren't. But you are right, I was trying to get her excited to make it better got her. I should probably stop doing that and validate her feelings more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338198 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:40:55 +0000 MamaCate 2338198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: I think she needs you to validate her feelings! I know you (and especially your family) want her to be excited but moving is always a mixed bag. When she talks about how much she likes your current house, you could reflect that back and talk about things that you like/will miss too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338184 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:36:33 +0000 travelgirl1 2338184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: I agree with you, it's a lot to expect from her. I have told all our family that actually, that while we are moving "home", she isn't, she is leaving her home. And to not expect anything from her for a while. But they all think I'm being ridicules because she is a kid. I don't think they can really comprehend what it would be like to do a move like that from ours or her point of view because they have never done it. Thanks for the book recommendations. We haven't actually told her we are leaving because I honestly don't know how and I think it's such a lot for her to deal with. Right now we have said we are visiting and I guess we will take it from there. She does use tenses properly, she's very aware and smart, which I think will make it harder for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338123 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:13:03 +0000 LBee 2338123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should allow her to mourn the move. I agree that once she gets there, she will probably rebound fairly quickly, but right now it's a lot of unknowns for a little person. Similar to the recent discussion of when kids started getting "tenses" (past, present, future), I think it's a lot to expect a toddler to get excited about a new adventure that means leaving everything she knows. You definitely can talk about the new things she will see / do, but when she replies expressing sadness about the move, I would acknowledge her feelings and say that you know this is tough and you appreciate how brave she is being. </p> <p>What about buying a few books you could read together? Here are some recommendations I found: </p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Berenstain-Bears-Moving-Day/dp/0394848381" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/The-Berenstain-Bears-Moving-Day/dp/0394848381</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Whos-Hear-Mean-Going/dp/0689820895" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Whos-Hear-Mean-Going/dp/0689820895</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338122 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:11:55 +0000 travelgirl1 2338122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: that's good advice, thanks. Because we are moving so far away, she won't have the majority of her toys or bedding etc, until it arrives by sea weeks or months later. I know that is going to be a huge deal for her. But, we can't do anything about it. I'm hoping new exciting toys at her grandparents will help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338115 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:06:04 +0000 sorrycharlie 2338115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: I just really had to keep saying "I know. You miss the red house. It was really fun. The yellow house is really fun too, with your playroom, and your bed, and your toys.." and just keep "hearing" her and reassuring her. she also followed me around like a shadow the first few days..so did the dog. sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338103 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:00:12 +0000 travelgirl1 2338103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nutella: thanks :happy: </p> <p>@sorrycharlie: We have so many brothers and sisters between us we can't really skype much (time difference is a kicker, too). We do Skype her gran and abuelo but she isn't interested. We ask her to come say hi and she yells "No. Bye bye!"<br /> How you describe your LO reacting is how I imagine mine will be, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338047 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 07:32:23 +0000 sorrycharlie 2338047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we didn't have as far of a move, but it has definitely taken a couple months for my LO to adjust. for the first few weeks she was very sad about her old house, her old room (I want my pink room, not this pink room! I want my house, not the yellow house) - and I thought we were in the clear finally and last week she started up again. ugh.</p> <p>my best advice is just do your best but try not to stress over it - even with all the prep in the world, it may not change how it goes. can she skype at all with them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338041 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 07:29:55 +0000 Nutella 2338041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh sounds painful, don't feel bad! No real advice here, but we will be doing the same thing in a month or two (moving date tbc) but my LO will just be shy of two by then. So not as aware...</p> <p>I would just keep mentioning names and saying how excited they are, even if she doesn't entertain the idea. I'm sure on some level she will remember names and by the time you move, she will also have moved on! Good luck for the move, sounds exciting :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddler-issues-before-moving#post-2338005 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 06:32:49 +0000 travelgirl1 2338005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are leaving to move overseas at the end of next month. DD (almost 3) has not seen most of our family there since she was a baby and has no memory of them. DH and I both have huge families so there are too many cousins, aunts and uncles etc for us to have really taught her about.</p> <p>Anyway, her cousins are getting really excited to see her and send her emails and pictures and videos, which is so lovely.</p> <p>But A just responds with "I don't want to play with them. I want to play with my own friends" and if we tell them about their houses with gardens (trying to get her excited about that since we live in an apartment) she just says "I don't want to go to their house. I love my house. My house is perfect".</p> <p>It breaks my heart a little, taking her away from her whole world. But I know she will be fine ultimately.</p> <p>I was wondering though, should I make more effort to teach her names and show her photos, so she knows what to expect, even though she resists? Or should I leave it and deal with it when we arrive, when I think she will love playing with them. </p>