https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 03:30:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628713 Wed, 28 Sep 2016 15:34:17 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2628713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I posted a long post about something similar on another thread yesterday. <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3yo-refusing-to-eat-everything-and-its-making-me-rage#post-2627704" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3yo-refusing-to-eat-everything-and-its-making-me-rage#post-2627704</a></p> <p>But basically, we have to tell our girls that if they won't eat, that's fine, but if they get hungry later there are no snacks. The only thing they can eat is the rest of their dinner. She may cry and complain the first few times, but if you're consistent every time, then she'll understand that she has to eat what is given. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628443 Wed, 28 Sep 2016 10:29:09 +0000 ShootingStar 2628443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS has done this once or twice but we always refuse. If he eats nothing at dinner (or very little) we remind him he won't get anything or any of daddy's desert (DH is really big on dessert right after dinner). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628420 Wed, 28 Sep 2016 10:14:52 +0000 caterw 2628420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: This is what we do too! "Here's your breakfast" is met with resistance, "here's some cereal for snack" is gobbled up happily lol. It doesn't make a difference to me what we call it as long as she eats a balanced diet over the course of a day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628126 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 20:09:31 +0000 MrsSRS 2628126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: If the trying everything isn't creating a power struggle, that's great! Keep with it. But the gist of the book is that it is the adult's job to choose what/where/when, and the child's job to choose whether/how much. So in our house we say that you need to try all the foods and then eat until your tummy is full. Then if DS doesn't eat well and is hungry later we remind him that it is his job to give his body energy to grow and play and offer his plate again. He may eat or choose to wait until the next scheduled meal or snack... Anyway. The book has more concrete advice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628112 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 19:54:17 +0000 catlady 2628112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all, good points.</p> <p>@Kemma: @Beehive: Definitely agree it's probably a habit at this point. Will need to work on that.</p> <p>@Cole: This is a good strategy and close to what we already do. We also sit down for dinner every night, and she is generally good about sitting with us, so that's a win.</p> <p>@erinbaderin: Ha, I have tried this a few times and it doesn't work for her. We end up with tantrums. But good idea nevertheless.</p> <p>@MrsSRS: Yes, I think maybe our own anxiety is messing us up. I don't want to make her eat everything, especially since she may not like everything, but I do make her try everything. Our problem is when she tries one tiny bit of everything and then is "done" but still hungry. I will have to check out that book, I had not heard of it. Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628085 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 19:26:43 +0000 MrsSRS 2628085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3yo has been giving this a try too. We put a preschooler appropriate portion on his plate and if he doesn't eat it all at dinner he is welcome to eat that between dinner and bedtime if he is hungry. If his food is gone and he wants a snack then he can have carrots or a spoonful of peanut butter or something like that. He is required to sit at the table until everyone is done. Everyone stops eating "when their tummy is full," but stays to keep each other company, even the baby. Usually my 3yo eats more waiting for the meal to be over and chatting about other things. We sort of say here is your dinner eat if you are hungry then we chat about our days so there is no food pressure..</p> <p> It sounds like perhaps the biggest problem is DH and maybe you being anxious about developing bad habits. May I suggest both of you try reading Ellyn Satter's book? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628066 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 18:49:22 +0000 erinbaderin 2628066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess she differentiates between meal food and snack food? B told me the other day that he didn't want dinner, he just wanted a snack. We said no problem, gave him his dinner and said "snack time!" and he ate it no problem. What happens when she asks for a snack and you give her her uneaten dinner? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628046 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 16:54:40 +0000 Cole 2628046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about a rule that one hour before dinner only veggies and one hour after dinner you re-serve dinner? I would think she could understand that dinner is important and that's why you are making this change. I can also see an issue with the "food value" with veggies only before so maybe nothing for half an hour before dinner or only dinner components? We have our 2 year old stay at the table with us at dinner for art least 15-20 minutes so sometimes even if she doesn't want to eat at the start she'll join in later. We sit down together every night though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628014 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 15:47:17 +0000 Beehive 2628014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our 4 year old does get snacks during the week (in preschool they have little snacks, and he gets some fruit on his way home from school), but over the weekend we end up not giving him any snacks, since we often eat lunch and dinner together and they end up being big meals. He has no problem waiting for the next meal (it's very rare that he says he's hungry between meals), and ends up eating quite a bit - and I'd much rather have him eat more of his meal than eat little things in between. I would imagine a lot of this is habit-based - if your daughter knows her meal is the food she needs to eat (and she can't just get a snack right after), she'll get used to eating her meals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2628001 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 15:30:43 +0000 Kemma 2628001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My almost 4yo was a great snacker but it was definitely becoming a habit rather than a genuine need so we've just started instigating regular snack times to curtail the habitual asking for food just because she can!</p> <p>Personally I think think that at 3yo child is old enough to understand that food is eaten at mealtimes, we offer a small dessert of yoghurt or fruit after dinner (regardless of how much dinner was eaten) but after that there isn't any more food available. I think it's like most things with kids, they're opportunists so making a plan and being consistent with it for at least a week is the way to go! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toddlerpreschooler-meal-vs-snack-strategies#post-2627994 Tue, 27 Sep 2016 15:22:41 +0000 catlady 2627994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just curious how you all deal with meals vs snacks. My 3 year old is generally a good eater, but she is a grazer, and I really can't fault her because I am too (I typically eat 3 small meals and 2-3 snacks per day). We eat relatively healthy food so snacks are things like fruit, veggies, and nuts, but lately, DD wants "snacks" all the time, including right after meals (or basically instead of meals).</p> <p>DH and I both have family members with serious eating disorders and neither of us want to force her to finish meals or cause her to have a negative relationship with food. So we have been pretty relaxed and DH in particular will usually give her a snack if she wants it (especially if it is a healthy one) because he feels it is better to do that than to cause her to have food anxiety. On the other hand, I feel like she plays us because she will eat like 2 bites of dinner, say she is done, and then want a "snack" 5 minutes later. If we say no, she will go to bed crying and telling us she is hungry, but she will not eat more dinner. She also uses the "I'm hungry" card to delay bedtime, so it's getting harder to know what is really going.</p> <p>I can't figure out how to balance this. So far, I have tried asking her to at least try everything at dinner before deciding she is done (this works most of the time, but she will just take one tiny bite of each thing). Anyone have other strategies? </p>