https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 00:36:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477701 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 16:39:06 +0000 Truth Bombs 2477701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he's motivated by wearing undies I would use that to your advantage. Tell him he needs to wear diapers at home because he's been having accidents. Tell him even though he has a diaper on, you'll take him to the potty any time he wants to go, and if he starts keeping his diaper dry, then he can wear undies </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477684 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 16:09:57 +0000 QBbride 2477684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely not put him back in diapers. I think it's a huge step backwards and will be very confusing to him. My son (2y8m) is 100% successful at daycare but not as good at home. I've accepted that things are different, he doesn't have the "peer pressure" of the other kids staying dry as he does at daycare, we probably don't offer/remind enough and he gets lazy. It is what it is. Eventually he will figure it out at home too. I think going back to diapers would be a huge mistake. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477619 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 14:06:48 +0000 Ms maths 2477619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MRSSRS Yes, I think that's definitely good advice, for the parents' sake as much as the kid :) My husband has been away for work this weekend, but I think we'll discuss our options and come up with our plan going forward when he gets home.</p> <p>And thanks to all of you for sharing your experience! It's comforting to hear others have been in a similar situation and to know that it's turned out just fine-eventually-no matter what you ended up doing. The kids we know locally either potty-trained quickly and easily or will be waiting until they are much older to do it, so we've felt a bit alone in this adventure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477612 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 13:56:28 +0000 MrsSRS 2477612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you decide to stick with it maybe just pick one of your approaches and stay with it. Whichever approach you think is least likely to create a power issue. For my DS I would have gone with either the leave him completely alone and then calmly and quietly have him help clean up accidents when they occur, or make it a scheduled thing and announce, cheerfully, potty time! at regular intervals and, again, have him help clean up accidents. Then outside of that I would completely ignore it. No conversation about the potty, no pressure. Just give it a little mental break while also staying in undies so he's not hearing all potty all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477585 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 13:28:19 +0000 Ms maths 2477585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kodybear He's a super-social kid and all of the other kids in his class are in the middle of potty-training too, so I definitely think he's had the perfect environment at school to incentivize using the toilet. I've been trying to think of how I can do something similar at home, but unfortunately, I don't think a reward chart is going to tap into his personality very well. Maybe we'll have to wait until his younger sister is potty-training--in another year--to incentivize it at home :bummed: The other thing about switching to diapers is that he _wants_ to wear undies, so switching back to diapers would bring its own issues.</p> <p>@KayKay Now that I think about it more, he almost never has a problem outside the house either. The fact that it's not just the social structure at school that's making it work leads me to think we should stick with it. I really can't figure out what's going on at home, though: if it's a comfort thing, or something about routines, or a power play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477534 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 12:04:09 +0000 KayKay 2477534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It doesn't sound like quite as extreme, but my DD1 has almost never (knock on wood...she is almost 4 now) had an accident outside the home since the weekend we potty-trained her at 2.5. Exceptions were 2 accidents at preschool within 2-3 months of potty-training and 1 accident at her new preschool this fall. However, she would routinely have pee accidents at home for maybe 4-6 months after potty-training. We never had no successes in a day, but there were a couple days of 2-3 pee accidents, and I remember being super excited at like 3-4 months when she finally went a week without having one. I think she just felt comfortable having accidents at home? Or something? But eventually it stopped :) We never went back to diapers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477424 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 09:44:27 +0000 kodybear 2477424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had the opposite problem where she was trained at home but not at preschool. She went potty every 2-3 hours at home but at school she wasn't holding it for 30 min. There were a couple months where she wore a pull-up at school but underwear at home. She seemed to switch between the two fine. At school she finally got trained when her teachers encouraged her to keep her pull-up dry with a reward chart. I think it helped that the teachers made a big deal about it which motivated her to try. Finally she told them she didn't want to wear pull-ups anymore and she has had almost no accidents since! I think we just had to wait for it to be her idea and moving up to the older class </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477407 Sun, 28 Feb 2016 08:58:21 +0000 Ms maths 2477407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaChin: We've tried this some, but it doesn't seem to help. Maybe we just need to stick to it longer, but I think he enjoys watching the pee. Could be a difference between boys and girls? If he's standing up, the pee doesn't hit him and makes a nice arc as it hits the ground. Also, his younger sister is currently fascinated by his penis and tries to grab it when he has no pants on :bummed: </p> <p>@MRSSRS I think that is what we would do (unless his teachers wanted to switch to diapers for some reason.) Still seems potentially confusing for him, although there is such a disconnect between what he does at home and as school that maybe it wouldn't be confusing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477123 Sat, 27 Feb 2016 18:05:28 +0000 MrsSRS 2477123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about leaving him in diapers only at home. Wait until he's proud of his skill and the power struggle has passed, then try again at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477045 Sat, 27 Feb 2016 15:24:03 +0000 MamaChin 2477045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should stick it out! He can clearly do it. Have you tried letting him go bottomless? Maybe he won't want to pee on his legs. That helped when my daughter was not letting me know when she needed to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/toilet-success-at-school-failure-at-home#post-2477032 Sat, 27 Feb 2016 14:45:05 +0000 Ms maths 2477032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO (28 months) started potty-training about 6 weeks ago, after his teachers repeatedly commented that he showed all readiness signs. </p> <p>At school, everything is going well: almost never an accident, often chooses when he will use the toilet (as opposed to just going at scheduled times), and is able to do most of the work himself (removing clothes, etc). </p> <p>But at home, he has many accidents (sometimes almost no successes during the day) and is very resistant to using the toilet. It seems to be a psychological issue rather than a physical one; in particular, he has good bladder control and seems to know when he has to go. I think we've tried most of the standard advice with no noticeable positive effect. (We've tried encouraging frequent potty visits, backing off and letting him decide, having scheduled times, just watching him for signs, making a habit of visiting the bathroom to wash hands even if he doesn't want to sit, putting a potty seat in the room where he is, suggesting we use the potty together, remaining as neutral as possible when wet pants occur).</p> <p>So we're considering putting him back in diapers. His teachers have strongly recommended against it, given that he's doing great at school and suggesting that this would be very confusing for him. And that he's a kid who needs time to get used to change. </p> <p>I don't--in theory--disagree with anything his teachers have said and feel like I have mostly just accepted a long potty training experience. But six weeks (with no end in sight) is a long time! We're wearing thin and feeling like we're all stuck in a rut. </p> <p>I don't have any question I can come up with, but I'd love to hear what others think. Tell me I'm being stupid for trying this long without going back to diapers. Or that we should just stick it out. Or anything else you feel like saying! </p>