https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 22 Jun 2026 07:43:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305363 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 14:11:42 +0000 daniellemybelle 2305363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Glad today is going better! Again my LO was much younger but for us sleep was HUGE - if she was tired she would have a terrible day. So even though her school was less than 15 minutes from our house, I would drive around with her before and after school to get catnaps in.</p> <p>If he would stroller nap, do you think you could take him on a long walk before or after school for a cat nap? Or, could you drive even though you don't need to and take a very long way? It seems kind of over the top but for us it was just so worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305310 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 13:27:15 +0000 BandDmommy 2305310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: sounds like good progress! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305304 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 13:18:48 +0000 hilsy85 2305304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: yes he brought his puppy to school yesterday and today. We'll see if it helped at all today! He was clutching it when I left. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305296 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 13:15:18 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2305296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Did you end up trying a lovey of some sort?? Dd is doing better bringing her doggy. This morning she didn't even have school but first thing said "I'm bringing doggy to school!" 😮 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305266 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 12:59:43 +0000 hilsy85 2305266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Beehive: he's usually up between 6:30 and 7, and I think no way would he take a nap in the morning...before school, he was pushing it to even 1:30 or 2. That's great that J is able to do it!!@honeybear: I actually would be ok with a 10 pm bedtime except that the latest he wakes in the morning is 7. That doesn't seem like enough sleep. Plus it then means that DH and I get zero alone time at night, which is tough! </p> <p>@Mamaof2: it's like an 8 minute walk from our apartment :) No car ride necessary, and I don't think the walk is long enough for him to sleep. </p> <p>@winniebee: yesterday he was pretty distraught for about a half hour. Today seems like it's going better though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305140 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 11:18:40 +0000 winniebee 2305140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read all the comments - how is he after you leave? Does he just cry hysterically while you are there or for a few minutes afterwards?</p> <p>We have gone through phases of T crying at drop off, mostly in the age 2.5-3 age range. It was always suggested to have the same routine at drop off every day. Bring stuff to cubby, keep it casual, no dramatic goodbyes, just a quick - bye buddy have fun, I'll see you a little later when I come to pick you up. The longer you stay the worse it will probably be. Usually they are fine after you leave though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305002 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 10:02:28 +0000 Mamaof2 2305002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: he wont take a car nap on the way home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2305000 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 09:59:25 +0000 Beehive 2305000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I'm sure L will start getting used to preschool soon, and will love it! Hang in there... </p> <p>One thing to try for naps, though I'm not sure if it will work - would L be able to take a morning nap, like at 10am? I'm not sure what time he wakes up in the morning, but J wakes up around 6:30 and takes a nap close to 10, then has lunch and goes to school. The naps are about 60/40 as to whether he actually falls asleep, but even when he doesn't, the quiet alone time (well, "quiet" in the sense that he's by himself, even though he's rolling around and talking to himself) is helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2304989 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 09:51:37 +0000 honeybear 2304989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I understand! We did the 3pm nap and 10/10:30pm bedtime for a while, because he really did much better with a regular nap than without one. The biggest obstacle for me was giving up my ideas of when children *should* be in bed. I know that LO's bedtime was (is? it's still around 9:30pm!) shocking to lots of people, but it is what seems to work the best for him. (Also, I have no issue with him getting up at 8/8:30am. I like to drink my coffee in a quiet kitchen, plan out the day, and start getting some stuff done before the madness starts. :) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2304947 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 09:25:31 +0000 hilsy85 2304947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: It's 2.5 hours a day (12:20-2:50). He'll be 3 in a few weeks. Unfortunately I don't think he will nap at 3pm--and if he did, he probably wouldn't go to bed til 10pm! We will see how this week goes as 4 days in a row will be the longest he has gone without a nap. It is not ideal but unfortunately our only option :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2304942 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 09:23:30 +0000 honeybear 2304942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: How long is each preschool session per day and how old is he? I would try to have him nap afterwards and push back bedtime and wake time if necessary. Unless it's pre-K4 (and maybe even if it is), I suspect that dropping the nap is a bit of a recipe for disaster. </p> <p>I managed to get my LO to nap quite a lot at age 4 and once or twice a week after he turned 5. I had to push back bedtime slightly to make it happen, but it majorly improved attitudes all around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool/page/2#post-2304850 Tue, 29 Sep 2015 08:26:04 +0000 Tidybee 2304850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm listening to a Janet landsbury podcast right now about separation and preschool. The series is called unruffled. Maybe some of her tips will help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304468 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 17:44:59 +0000 hellobeeboston 2304468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>aww - i'm sure he will get used to it, just hang in there. I agree with mrsjyw, don't linger at drop off, and talk a lot about BEFORE going. J has been in daycare since 14months, but when he's transitioned to different rooms/teachers there is always a bit of a hard time. we had some routines that helped - watch mommy drive through a puddle on the way out; give me a push out the door, then get to close it, stuff like that seemed to help. I also talked about what we would do together after I picked him up. talking a lot really did seem to help! good luck mama. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304464 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 17:41:15 +0000 mrsjyw 2304464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we just started preschool last month and the one key thing that made the transition easier for both us and ds was leaving him right away. We made sure to talk about it the night before and on the drive over about how we'd be back. But drop off was literally handing him to the teacher giving him a quick and kiss and saying see you later! By the third drop off there weren't tears and by the second week, he was running off to the teacher/friends and starting his routine. Depending on how he's slept the night before there are days where it takes him some time to be talkative and such but the crying at drop off I think was relatively short for us because we didn't linger for more than a few minutes or less to say bye!</p> <p>Our director told us she usually sees 2 weeks average transition time for family care/sahm kids transitioning. I'm sure L will love it in no time!!</p> <p>Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304348 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:36:30 +0000 plantains 2304348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: DD has been in daycare since she was 15 months old but she still cries when we make a change like moving up to the next room etc. she is in full day preschool now, and I have noticed that for the last week of so out of nowhere she has become extra clingy and wants me to stay in the class with her, carry her etc. her teachers have said that they see this often when the arrival of a new baby is on the cards. </p> <p>Perhaps this is a contributing factor. In any case, usually even the most outgoing of kids may feel a little insecure or run into difficulties. It should get better as you go but as people say, you light have to start trying to just drop off and leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304339 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:31:25 +0000 hilsy85 2304339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: @2littlepumpkins: this isn'treally necessary in that I'm using it for child care, but I do think its good for him, especially once th baby comes in a few weeks. Taking him out is not an option since we already paid for the year!<br /> @skipra: great idea, thank you! There is one mom I might reach out to.</p> <p>@Truth Bombs: @BandDmommy: it's not daycare its a private preschool and unfortunately afternoon spots were all that were open at this and the other one we were accepted into. He is in the process of dropping his nap but I'm sure fatigue plays into it.</p> <p>@shellio: thanks! Will def check out that thread :)<br /> @daniellemybelle: @JoyfulKiwi: thank you for the suggestions!!</p> <p>@SugarplumsMom: @Kemma: I stayed with him for almost the whole time last thurs and he was fine while I was in class but I don't think that is what they consider most helpful in getting him to adjust plus it's hard for the other kids.<br /> @looch: he was in the process of nap beingich tougher right before school starts but I still think that 4 days in a row without nap will be tough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304327 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:25:33 +0000 travellingbee 2304327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS has cried every single day for 2 years when I drop him off. But he stops after a few minutes and is fine. He actually loves school but just has some separation anxiety. He often cries when I pick him up too because he doesn't want to leave! :bummed: (When we first started, he cried all day for about a week but then he adjusted. His is daycare though, so I didn't really have an option) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304310 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:18:39 +0000 looch 2304310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: How old is your son? Mine went to an afternoon preschool at age 3 years 9 months and he literally dropped the nap the August before school began.</p> <p>We had no option for a morning session, it was booked out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304308 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:18:31 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2304308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daycare had a crazy schedule where I pretty much had to be with her the whole day the first day, then less and less the following days until I was able to just drop her off. I thought it was a total PITA, but it worked! DD never cried for me.</p> <p>Eta: By "never" I mean just not during her first few weeks there. She eventually started crying (after returning from vacation) but the teachers reassured me that she only cries for a minute and is perfectly fine as soon as I leave the building. I waited around the corner a few times and to my surprise she really did stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304301 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:15:36 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2304301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: my son has been in daycare since he was 15 weeks and every time he transitions to the next age group he has a rough go for about 3 weeks. Some kids take more time!<br /> I also teach preschool and agree that the number one "mistake" parents make is sticking around too long (even I do this with my son!). I suggest talking a lot about school and drop off with your son in an honest way. Not just "but school is great, you'll love school!", but "I know you get upset when I leave you at school. It's hard for me to say goodbye too." Talk with him to make a plan for how drop off will go and then stick to it. Keep it short, but let him give suggestions: maybe he wants to snuggle a lovey, or have a "job", or look at a schedule to see what he'll do until you pick up. There's so many ways to make kids more comfortable &amp; maybe his teachers will offer insight? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304298 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:13:07 +0000 daniellemybelle 2304298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like someone else mentioned, could nap/tiredness be contributing? Even if you dropped the nap, that midday slump could be really fighting with the stimulation and just newness of the separation.</p> <p>My LO was an infant/young toddler when we did part-time daycare (10-20 months) so it was obviously very different, but the things that helped us were...<br /> - Dad dropping off (not an option for you though)<br /> - Very quick, "neutral" drop off with the same routine every time<br /> - Looking at pictures of her teachers and classmates and talking about them<br /> - Taking her lovey (I know you tried this but I would keep it up - her lovey was glued to her for the whole year she was in school)<br /> - Very good sleep &amp; a full belly (The worst days were when she did not eat or sleep well)<br /> - Increasing days (We went from 2 days to 3 days)<br /> - Time</p> <p>Ultimately, it was about 2 months before she was fine. And she still cried at drop-off a lot and had bad days. Again, she was an infant and no, I don't think she was "ready." Totally different situation than a 3 year old! Just offering my suggestions in hopes they can help you. And crossing my fingers things are different for us this time next year when we put LO in preschool.</p> <p>ETA: This is probably not the case for you but for anyone else reading this... We also saw a big change when we figured out LO had a double ear infection and got it treated. Unfortunately I think she had secret ear infections for a while as a baby and we didn't know. :( She still didn't love daycare but she was happier in general including at school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304279 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 14:00:14 +0000 BandDmommy 2304279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: that's such a weird time for daycare to start. Most here start at 9 am. My son is still napping though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304278 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:59:56 +0000 shellio 2304278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Sorry mama, that is so hard :( Here is a similar thread that you may have already seen, that had some good tips: <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-make-drop-offs-easier" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-make-drop-offs-easier</a></p> <p>I also agree with the Daniel Tiger episode. My DS told another crying child recently "Don't worry, grown ups always come back!" :heart: We repeated that frequently, it seems to have stuck with him!</p> <p>My DS didn't have trouble last year, at 2.5, but this year at 3.5 he had a hard time adjusting. It only took about 3 weeks before drop offs were easy, but he goes 5 days a week now. Hang in there, I'm sure in a couple more weeks here you'll be sharing advice with the rest of us! Having other kids there crying definitely didn't help! Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304275 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:58:56 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2304275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I know you didn't. I guess what I was saying is the grass seems greener... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304274 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:58:40 +0000 Truth Bombs 2304274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Does your LO not nap any more? 12:20 start time would be a recipe for disaster for my LO because that's normally when she's going down for her nap so she would be suuuuuuper cranky. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304264 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:48:59 +0000 skipra 2304264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: It is so hard! My friend's daughter had a really hard time the first 2 weeks of preschool. Last week she literally had to be pried off her mom. I was almost crying just watching it. But despite that I don't think the crying lasts long and it is improving. I didn't see the drop off today but DS said she didn't cry. (They are buddies so he is very concerned about her well-being.) Hang in there and hopefully it will get better!<br /> Not sure if anyone already suggested this but could you try having play dates with someone from class? If they become good friends it might help to know they will have so much fun playing together that afternoon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304255 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:42:39 +0000 ShootingStar 2304255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: I didn't say that staying at home is a luxury. I was trying to say that the choice to pull your kid out of school if they're "not ready" is a luxury. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304253 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:42:29 +0000 Kemma 2304253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a thought, but can you stay with him for the duration for a couple of sessions? I did this for Miss A before she officially started preschool and she's surprised me with how well she's handled the separation! I would basically let her do her thing while hanging back so I was there but not actively engaging with her.</p> <p>Fingers crossed that it gets better soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304251 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:41:15 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2304251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: I think that has been the case.. idk about push back but it makes sense imo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/tough-time-with-preschool#post-2304247 Mon, 28 Sep 2015 13:40:16 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2304247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: as someone who fell into sahm life by necessity/circumstance..it sure doesn't feel like a luxury. Reading/hearing "my child just wasn't ready" makes me feel like I should continue sacrificing a big chunk of my happiness (mommy martyr..) since it's not dd's fault I was home with her in the beginning. Or like I set her up to fail by being home with her. But I went back to school, started a little network, etc to be able to work after this baby. Yeah, we can afford life ok right now, but I have no retirement savings and we are holding off buying a home until I'm steady in a job. :/ I also know some of this is probably my stress with being 38+ weeks pregnant and this only being the beginning. So I try to (irl) just not be dramatic about it. </p>