https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Jul 2026 23:22:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1050755 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 21:25:48 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1050755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works 70 hours a week 1.5 hours away. We have a house by my job and an apartment by his. We do a lot of driving and see each other on weekends (we often work part of the weekends) and usually Thursdays. We had a vacation recently and were together 10 days in a row. I was scheduled to ovulate the Wednesday after- worst timing possible. DH drove home on Tuesday so we were able to keep every other day this month.</p> <p>The point of my rambling is that TTC is hard, and logistics like this make it more stressful, which then makes it harder physically to TTC. In terms of what you can control, this is an opportunity to work on communication. EVERY couple can improve and it will be good once you have a baby. (If this comes off mean, that is not what I mean at all! Just saying I have some idea what you're going through and it is tough.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1050387 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 18:08:30 +0000 MrsTal 1050387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: Thank you! I just want next week to get here so we can talk to the doctor. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1050379 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 18:01:38 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1050379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: Hang in there girl. Hope the dr appt goes well and you get the answers you are looking for. And that DH's schedule lines up with O so you can BD like mad ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1049049 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 10:01:42 +0000 MrsTal 1049049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anandam: I appreciate what you are trying to say but those things just don't work for us. I have to work and so does he, I can't just take off on a whim to try. There is more than likely a problem with us which is why after 1.5 years of trying we still aren't pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048965 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 09:37:03 +0000 anandam 1048965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: Well, it's something to be grateful for, I guess, that the boss has at least been somewhat understanding. Though it sounds like you're just about at your emotional breaking point. What's your work like? Maybe you could take a leave of absence to travel with him for a few months as a conjugal partner (DH and I considered this option and it made us laugh - how to dodge questions about why I'm there?). It seems like work, regardless of how specialized the job, is a very concrete controllable thing compared to the magical mystery of conception, there must be a way to work the one around the other, even if it's somewhat outside the box or subideal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048570 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 08:01:33 +0000 littlek 1048570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: My DH doesn't travel with his current job but he works all the time. He is gone from 6 a.m. - midnight a lot of nights and the nights he doesn't work late he is exhausted from working so much so not up for DTD. We only get to DTD on the weekends but we were able to get pregnant. I think it takes time and a little luck. Hang in there!! Hugs!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048481 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 07:31:05 +0000 MrsTal 1048481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I am definitely ovulating and I am charting. When he isn't traveling he works from home so that is a really nice perk, but he needs to be present when the projects are being installed because he has to see how things are working and be there to make adjustments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048400 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 06:45:45 +0000 looch 1048400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: Can he do any work remotely? That sucks that there isn't a lot of flexibility.</p> <p>Also, are you sure you're ovulating every cycle? It sounds like you have a lot of time under your belt, have you been charting/temping? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048389 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 06:40:29 +0000 MrsTal 1048389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stine_ciro: I wish DH had some control over his schedule. That'd be amazing. Maybe he will have that some day. I think we are close to taking a break. It's bringing both of us down.</p> <p>@kentuckygirl: overnights suck. Sorry you have to work around that.</p> <p>@PrincessBaby: Thank you for sharing that. It gives me hope! Good luck trying for baby number 2!</p> <p>@Smurfette: It is really hard when he is gone. I can't imagine solo parenting when he's gone. That's another thing I worry about but I'm taking it one step at a time. Thanks for the hope! It helps a lot.</p> <p>@NorCalWayfarer: It sucks a lot but it helps to know I'm not alone! Thank you!</p> <p>@anandam: Unfortunately, my DH doesn't have that type of control over his job. That is wonderful for you guys that your DH can do that but mine can't. He has talked over this with his boss and they have tried to work with us but if there is an emergency on his project or someone gets sick the company is small enough that someone has to take over and there are only so many people that know how to do what he does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048247 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 00:12:59 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1048247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it really depends on their job/industry. DH doesn't have that kind of flexibility to say he just won't show up here and there. While we were on our mini vacation he was still taking calls for a good part of the day. But it's the nature of his industry. Maybe he'll switch jobs in the future but we just have to make it work now. I know the schedule is something we'll have to deal with eventually but it works (for the most part) for us now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048243 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 00:02:22 +0000 anandam 1048243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Jeez, I just re-read my post and it came off sounding rather cold. Didn't intend that. It's a rough situation, definitely. We spent some time arguing before we agreed that maybe he should just try talking to the folks at work.</p> <p>Sometimes it feels intimidating or even impossible to approach the topic at work until you actually do it; the whole thing seems worse than it is until you actually verbalized what you need - more flexibility, certain days off, a few months without travel to focus on another project? I only mean to suggest that you can decide together what you really need, then work toward getting it. The issue will likely only be amplified once you are pregnant and parenting, too, so best deal with it now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048233 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 23:51:21 +0000 anandam 1048233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is our first month TTC so I can't really talk from the long-term standpoint... but he travels often and just said he had family business the week I was ovulating and the project they wanted him for would have to be done by someone else. Nobody questioned it. He's also given "blackout" dates for travel in the next couple of months, just in case. We'll see if it keeps happening monthly for a year, maybe it'll bother them, but I think if you sit down together and discuss how to make your family the priority, it becomes pretty simple. Either you're not financially stable enough to turn down some projects - and maybe you decide then that TTC is secondary; or you agree TTC is the priority, and work takes the back burner. </p> <p>Does DH share your frustration? Can you discuss it this way? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1048224 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 23:42:57 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1048224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh honey I am living this right now. It sucks. Hugs. </p> <p>We're on our 4th cycle TTC so no advice for you. We just try to get BD in whenever he's home during the few days before/after I O. This month we actually took a mini vacation during CD 10-14 so I'm hoping this is our month! Otherwise it's not anything we can control, short of me taking off work and flying out to wherever he is staffed. But hey, I may get that desperate ;-)</p> <p>Good luck! I'm always here if you want to chat/vent. It's definitely a challenging lifestyle on many levels. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047983 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 20:36:34 +0000 Smurfette 1047983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me!!! I got lucky and ovulated on Sunday or Monday. We got pregnant on our 3rd cycle, so it was much easier and faster than we both thought it was going to be. The month we did get pregnant, we had sex Sat morning, positive OPK on Sunday, and then we waited till Mon morning to have sex, verses Sunday night, like the month before. </p> <p>I know how hard it is to have your hubby gone. I miss him so much and even more now that I work and doing all the patenting Mon-Thurs. We are just banking on it paying off later with a better job for DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047952 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 20:23:33 +0000 PrincessBaby 1047952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: This was the story of my life when ttc. My DH works offshore and is gone 3 weeks at a time. Which means there's not a shot in hell if I ovulated while he was gone. We definitely had a couple of months where we were totally out as far as timing, but it still took us 9 months of BDing on/around O to get pg with DD. i CAN tell you that we had PERFECT timing some months, not resulting in pregnancy. The month we got pregnant with our daughter, he flew out Sun morning, we BD beforehand, and i O'd Tuesday, and we got lucky. Granted, we had testing via an RE at 5 months ttc just bc our situation was what it was, so we knew we were totally healthy and that it was just luck/timing/etc. We will Ttc #2 in early 2014 and I've accepted that I don't need to worry myself to death bc perfect timing led to Bfns and less than perfect timing got us our perfect LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047929 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 20:13:14 +0000 kentuckygirl 1047929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: My DH doesn't travel but works a lot of nights and some overnights. At least we were typically able to work around his schedule but it did impact our ability to catch my ideal BD days some months. I can only imagine how hard it is when your DH is out of town. Hopefully your RE appointment will help toward resolutions and treatment so that when you and your DH are in the same town, you will have better success! Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047902 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 19:59:30 +0000 FaithFertility 1047902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTal: Yea, it is a lot but take control, ask questions and make sure they make you feel positive :))) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047889 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 19:54:14 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1047889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you have to deal with him being gone so much on top of the ttc stuff. </p> <p>DH travels a fair bit, but he has some control of when during the week he had to be at the sites, so we tried to schedule his trips around my cycles. That worked pretty well for us, but I have very regular cycles, so it was fairly easy to predict what days he needed to be around.</p> <p>We also took a (Dr. recommended) break and quit worrying about the ttc part for awhile. That really helped us get back to level ground and 3 months after we started ttc again, I got a BPF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047864 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 19:44:27 +0000 MrsTal 1047864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: Ugh, midnights suck. Sorry you have to deal with that. I am excited to see the RE but I'm also scared and worried, ya know? It does feel really good to be doing something finally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047843 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 19:39:00 +0000 FaithFertility 1047843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do not have a traveling DH, and I'm so sorry that you do, mine works midnights 7p.m. to 7a.m. and well I'm a teacjer and there are days where we cross paths, barley saying hi, and I know that os frusterating when TTC, especially when you gett a + opk :/ so I can imagine your frustration! Be excited to see an RE, it gives a lot of peace, going over all aspects!!!! Good Luck! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/traveling-dh-frustration#post-1047707 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 18:58:18 +0000 MrsTal 1047707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is both ttc and just an emotional vent.</p> <p>DH and I have been ttc for over a year and a half and are going to see a RE in two weeks. I do believe there is an underlying issue, as does my doctor, but I also feel like my DH job is a contributing factor. He has to travel for work and not only do I miss him a ton but we also don't get the best timing/frequency. It's so hard to deal with and I'm so tired of it. He's gone again this week and I'm about to ovulate. But more than that I just miss him. He's been gone so much and when he's here we are so focused on TTC and our infertility stuff that it feels like we aren't connecting. Ugh. Does anyone else have a traveling husband? How did you make ttc work? </p>