https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Jul 2026 23:39:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2465237 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 22:07:27 +0000 LCTBQE 2465237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this reminds me of a Wait Wait Don't Tell Me episode I heard years ago when Obama was still a senator. They had him on and he started trashing kindergarden graduations and the "everyone is special" mentality; it was pretty funny. I don't have kids so I don't know if most people really like them, but I got a couple consolation-prize types of ribbons when I was a kid myself, and I always thought they were lesser-than and kind of embarrassing, even at age 8. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2465230 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 22:00:28 +0000 808love 2465230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love it! In our league, the coaches honor a different value every week. LO got the Courage medal one week. So proud!<br /> I think it won't hinder the competitive kids. They will be competitive and try hard no matter what. I think the recreational sports kids will get in on the fun and not 'feel' like sports are impossible to be good at, just because they are not the best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464499 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:48:27 +0000 gingerbebe 2464499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Yes, exactly. The NPR commentator was like how do you reward something so specific to the individual? The sports psychologists joked "use small font and narrow margins on the trophy or certificate if necessary, but tailor that award to what that kid did, even if its for something like 'most ball retrievals behind 3rd base.'" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464492 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:44:32 +0000 Maysprout 2464492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is a trophy much of an award? Has anyone honestly been motivated by a trophy? I think winning is a very separate felling than receiving a piece of plastic </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464476 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:38:42 +0000 Anagram 2464476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: yeah, but it should be specified to the individual. And honestly, I think it would be motivating to give a trophy of any kind to a kiddo who hasn't worked hard. It's telling them that not working hard = reward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464456 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:31:23 +0000 gingerbebe 2464456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Yes, exactly. I think there's a lot to be said about the hustle factor and grinding it out. Using the marathon example from earlier, even if you're not competing to be the best in the marathon, most people ARE training to beat a personal record or take on a harder/longer course. Some people aren't naturally competitive in terms of beating others at something, but that doesn't mean they don't want to do better for themselves or for their team. So in that vein, rewarding effort, consistency, a positive attitude, working hard, and making some kind of improvement is huge in making that person better at what they're doing and for their organization as a whole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464445 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:25:49 +0000 gingerbebe 2464445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Cal is a great example. I married into a hockey loving family and we follow the Detroit Red Wings. One thing I really love about the organization is how community service, sportmanship, youth mentoring, and all that is SO ingrained in the team's stuff - like way more than most pro sports team I've followed in my life. My husband says its always been that way for the Red Wings and that it sets the player standard for all the youth and junior hockey leagues that go on in the state (and hockey is huge in Michigan). It also impressed me that the NHL even has the Lady Byng trophy as one its major league awards given out each year for "the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464443 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:24:30 +0000 Anagram 2464443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: your last paragraph is an idea I could really get on board with. Recently, I started reading the Carol Dweck book that there's been so much chatter about in the parenting world. It's this one <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-The-New-Psychology-Success/dp/0345472322" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-The-New-Psychology-Success/dp/0345472322</a></p> <p>But it's all about how a "Growth Mindset" leads to success and it's the idea that hard work and effort should be praised, and that people have to truly BELIEVE that if they work hard and practice something, they will improve. Whereas in a fixed mindset someone either is or isn't good at something, end of story. And her book goes a little bit into how it's demotivating to have a Fixed mindset, because you feel like something should automatically be easy or you aren't good at it, and you give up if it's not easy. So people don't learn how to persevere and improve, or work hard. </p> <p>So...trophies for participation. I don't know how I feel about it. Would a kid be motivated if everyone gets the same trophy, regardless of effort? I think it's kind of a lazy way of TRYING to encourage everyone that ends up making the trophy meaningless. Kids aren't dumb. I hated participation ribbons when I was growing up--I knew it meant I was just one of many that didn't get a "real" ribbon. I would have honestly not had a ribbon. But that's my personality. However, I think it would have been meaningful if I got a ribbon for a specific improvement that I made by working hard--if a coach noticed that I came in last place, but shaved 4 seconds off my best time. That would mean so much more than just a general "participation" trophy, you know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464439 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:19:34 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2464439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: good idea about awards not always being tied to winning. There are definitely signs of good character and sportsmanship coaches can recognize at the end of the season besides the MVP. Growing up Cal Ripken, a Baltimore Oriole was always on the news for not missing baseball games. It made us all want to show up for school too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464429 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 12:11:01 +0000 Maysprout 2464429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my daughter did a soccer camp they got a ticket to watch our local soccer team play at the end of the camp. I loved that idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464265 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:29:03 +0000 Eko 2464265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't particularly care for them, but it's nothing I feel incredibly strong about. I think there are other ways of rewarding participation then getting a trophy, such as a pizza party or something. I would rather emphasize to my kid that they enjoyed playing and being with their team. Which I think can be accomplished in better ways than handing out a trophy. If he doesn't feel the reward of being part of a team environment or playing a sport he enjoys then getting a trophy isn't going to fix that and he shouldn't play to begin with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464238 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 10:12:32 +0000 hummusgirl 2464238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Yes, agreed. I don't like it mostly because it's yet another disposable cheap plastic thing from China that will add to the clutter. I know it felt silly to me even as a non-athletically inclined kid on the receiving end. I knew I sucked at sports even with a trophy, and on the flip side I felt genuinely proud of actual accomplishments (like winning a speech contest) where there was no trophy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464194 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:42:31 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2464194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a fan of trophies for participation. Although certificates for participation are ok in my book. Kids are keeping score anyways, so why should adults pretend there aren't winners? I think trophies and ribbons should indicate rank even if every team gets one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464191 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 09:39:50 +0000 ShootingStar 2464191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as long as it's middle school or younger it's fine. I think by high school though it should be phased out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464022 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 07:47:41 +0000 edelweiss 2464022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: ditto.</p> <p>i got participation trophies when i was younger and played on the worst soccer team in our area league. i don't think it made me feel entitled. i could have done without them, and i knew that we weren't the best team. but i don't think it hurt to receive them (except for the clutter aspect, i'm pretty sure my parents threw them in the trash). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2464016 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 07:34:36 +0000 catomd00 2464016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dorm care either way. I think people make way too big of a deal about it. Getting a participation trophy alone isn't going to turn your kid into an entitled person or whatever. You can teach the lessons you want to teach your kids regardless of the trophies they receive. I think it's important to reward effort as well as achievement. Neither are the be all end all in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2463969 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 01:09:07 +0000 jedeve 2463969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shizaz: exactly!</p> <p>I was a terrible athlete. I desperately wanted to be good but I have structural problems with my legs and just will never be fast or coordinated. I loved youth soccer though and was so proud of my trophy. It didn't make me work harder or less hard. I didn't need to win to motivate me. I just wanted to play. And I was happy that I got a trophy. It made me feel part of the team, not just a loser. </p> <p>Youth sports are huge now and so is obesity. It seems the sports should help with that, but we've made such a focus on winning and being the best that it excludes people early on. Which is fine if you are running a competitive soccer club. But if you just want fourth graders to have good self esteem and not be diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, take the focus off of winning and put it on participating. I mean, is anyone really arguing that our youth sports teams aren't competitive enough? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2463967 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 01:03:42 +0000 gingerbebe 2463967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it really depends on age and stage of life. Things like little kid rec leagues where its not really about competition, I think participation ribbons or a team pizza party is just fine. At that stage, you're really just gauging the interest of the child in an activity and it IS an achievement to finish a season. </p> <p>I think once you start getting kids to play competitively, then there should be some kind of team banquet to celebrate being in a team and finishing a season, but awards should be given out for specific achievements. And I don't think that necessarily means being "the best" on the squad or whatever.</p> <p>I was listening to an NPR story about this with some sports psychologists and they were saying how vast improvements can be seen in team sports when you start tracking really specific statistics on each player and then compliment/encourage each player on something they are doing well in. It motivates the player to do better and it creates an environment where everyone on the team is looking for things each player is doing well. In that same vein, you can give out lots of specific awards to lots of people and that really helps both the player and team improve as a whole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2463966 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 01:03:34 +0000 HLK208 2463966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not a fan at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2463961 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 00:51:17 +0000 erinpye 2463961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I danced competitively for almost 20 years and as a kid, I thought it was nice that everyone got a participation ribbon at competitions, but trophies were only given for winning.</p> <p>I don't think trophies for everyone being "winners" is a great idea-- it just isn't real life that everyone wins all the time. It's disappointing to lose, it's also euphoric to win, and those are real-life situations and feelings that are important experiences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2463579 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 17:28:23 +0000 agold 2463579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.KMM: Ditto. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2463572 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 17:23:18 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2463572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't like them, especially as kids get older. Kids need to learn that not everyone wins and how to lose gracefully. Winners should get recognition for achieving above and beyond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462767 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 09:21:00 +0000 artsyfartsy 2462767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BrandNewMom: Exactly.</p> <p>It's not like they're leveling it out and saying "everyone gets the same thing no matter who wins". The winners get their trophies/prizes for winning.</p> <p>When they're that young, being a part of a team or sticking with a sport for the whole season/year/what have you IS an accomplishment. Whether you win or not, you were a part of something and worked for it. It's not going to make my child entitled or lazy because he gets a tiny little participation trophy or plaque.</p> <p>I just really don't see the argument that getting a participation trophy is going to make every child think they deserve rewards for no work when they get to be adults. That just seems far fetched. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462766 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 09:20:53 +0000 blackbird 2462766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, honestly, I really hate this idea. For little kids, I think it's fine. Because kids like that sort of stuff, and they're little, so whatever. I think trophies should be used to reward more than just "You came" and "you participated". Good sportsmanship maybe? So I think it's a problem with adults, too. Everyone needs to be made to feel special for doing something they wanted to do in the first place?....I don't get it. And OMG THE CLUTTER. No thanks. What happened to a team pizza party at the end of the year? Fun team shirts? *shrug*</p> <p>So the problem is that it continues until they are adults and spills into the work place, and then people are asking for "certificates of achievement" for doing their job. Which they receive a paycheck for. Don't get me wrong, a thank you is nice. Recognition is nice. Particularly for above and beyond effort. But sometimes, it is just ridiculous what people expect, and for the most trivial things. There's a special snowflake epidemic</p> <p>@BrandNewMom: Well, your high school grades matter if you want to go to college.....or go to a good school.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462761 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 09:18:23 +0000 jmarionsmith 2462761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BrandNewMom: such good points!</p> <p>I am not a fan of the "winning is everything" mentality. Sports participation, especially for youth, is about so much more than winning. So I'm all for "participation" trophies, they are earned in their own right. </p> <p>Also, why do people act like this a a new thing? I've seen both my mom and dad's participation trophies, so it's obviously been a "thing" for a while now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462756 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 09:10:58 +0000 Umbreon 2462756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BrandNewMom: I agree with this!</p> <p>As a kid, I was never good at sports. I always tried my best but it was never good enough. All I ever got were participation ribbons (Usually from school track meets). Now that I'm older, it means nothing to me. But when I was young, I felt so proud of myself when I got a ribbon. I don't think it's a matter of whether kids learn to lose graciously. Almost every team I was ever apart of was the "losing" team and I never had a problem losing. (And most of these sports never had participation awards). It sucks, but I knew we tried our best. I think it's when kids get use to winning that it becomes harder to lose. And I don't think participation ribbons have any factor on that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462752 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 09:06:48 +0000 sleepybear 2462752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind participation trophies - I got them for parks and rec soccer when I was little. But I think they should be participation trophies, not 'we're all winners' trophies. I think the bigger problem isn't giving out a trophy for participating, as much as denying that there are winners and giving them special recognition for their achievement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462736 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 08:54:01 +0000 BrandNewMom 2462736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you complete high school, it doesn't matter what your grades were, you get a diploma. It says you participated start to finish in something that consumed a lot of time and effort, even when it wasn't fun.<br /> When you finish a marathon, it doesn't matter if you come in 4th or 4000th, everyone gets the same medal that says they trained until they complete 26.2.<br /> So why are we holding young kids to such a different standard? It's recognition that they participated even when they didn't want to, they worked towards a goal (even of it's just finishing the program) and they achieved it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462684 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 08:19:14 +0000 regberadaisy 2462684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither DH and I are big fans of this. I understand the reasoning behind it. But I also think it's important for kids to learn how to lose gracefully. If you got a prize for being 10th place, where's the motivation to work harder next time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trophies-for-participation#post-2462682 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 08:15:58 +0000 Bao 2462682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm curious what your thoughts are on kids receiving trophies for participation. I was watching a story about it on the Today show a little bit ago, and it got me thinking about a little bit on the subject...</p> <p>What are your thoughts on this? Does it change with the age of LO? </p>