https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 12:41:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370736 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 19:32:14 +0000 SweetiePie 2370736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I'm so happy that your son got some good rest today. Isn't that the best!? Just feels like such a relief. </p> <p>I want to reply more to what you just posted so I'll come back when I'm done cleaning up this thanksgiving mess :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370731 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 19:27:51 +0000 MrsADS 2370731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A little more... </p> <p>- I aim for awake time of no more than 1.5 hours. Even that is too long - when he's in his "short nap cycle", he's falling apart after only 20-30 mins awake!<br /> - Mommy confession... he still sleeps 90% of the time in the RnP at 12 weeks. We are doing most naps in the crib but still nights in the RnP, he just sleeps so much better. I am trying to transition out of it, but the last few days I feel like I need to maximize his sleep so I put him back in the RnP.<br /> - We rock to sleep... I know a bad habit, so I do want to work on that eventually. DS has bad reflux and especially his first month before we got meds and my diet under control, it was HORRIFIC and he was in a lot of pain, and it took major soothing to get him to sleep. He's still uncomfortable so I think that may make it difficult to get him to go to sleep on his own.</p> <p>@tofuwad just wanted to say thanks lady for the reassuring words. Being a mommy is hard! </p> <p>With the extra sleep today, DS seemed so much happier. He has been having 3-4 hysterical crying spells during the day (the horrible, can't breathe, out of control from crying so hard). And today didn't have one, which I think is directly related to the fact he had 3 good naps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370634 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 13:41:11 +0000 MrsADS 2370634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so much. I'm on my phone but will respond in more detail later. @sweetiepie thank you so much for your long post. I'm gonna wall you when I'm on my computer. Definitely interested in the sleep suit. </p> <p>Short summary: we're holding for naps at least whIle DH is home with me to help for the long weekend. It worked GREAT this morning. DH held him and was stunned that (just as I told him), DS jolted awake after about 35 mins. DH was pretty easily able to get him back to sleep since he was holding him. After holding him about 50 mins, he put DS down and hr slept about another 45 mins or so. So, he napped about an hour and 40 minutes!! I am holding him right now, he's been asleep about 20 mins so we'll see how it goes. And he fell asleep about 70 mins after waking up from the previous nap. I think he's so tired and sleep deprived his awake time is shorter. </p> <p>Everyone's commiseration and advice is really helpful. My gut feeling is that DS is NOT a low sleep meds baby, and he really does need to sleep longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370622 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 12:46:42 +0000 SweetiePie 2370622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: And I will add that I agree with @tofuwad: that if you are doing everything right and your son is still a short napper, don't beat yourself up over it! I hope I didn't come off that way in my post!<br /> While I do believe that babies need to be "taught" to sleep and do think it requires some work, I also believe that there are some low-sleep-needs babies that no matter what you do, they won't nap for long (except for maybe with professional intervention like a sleep consultant). Just like there are high-sleep-needs babies that take monster naps without intervention. I just think MOST are in the middle and require some coaxing. </p> <p>So, do what you can/are willing to do and if at some point he's still not napping and you realize that you're more unhappy than when you just let him take short naps, just go with the short naps. </p> <p>I guess in summary, my original post was just saying that it usually requires some work and dedication and based on the crapload of research I've done, I don't think it's because of his age. My post was not meant to say that I think EVERY baby will nap for 2 hours at a time if you do everything I say :-) (wouldn't that be nice, I'd be a rich woman ;-) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370576 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:07:07 +0000 tofuwad 2370576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to chime in and say don't beat yourself up about it! I have a four month old and I've done pretty much everything you're supposed to do and my LO is a crappy napper. I was putting her in the crib drowsy from birth, she was putting herself to sleep for naps and night, she wasn't being nursed to sleep, I was paying attention to her wake times, we had a strong routine, etc. and she eventually just slowly lost her ability to nap longer than 30 minutes. Plus I SAH and I was a slave to her naps and it didn't make a difference. And the biggest problem was how much I stressed about it and felt like I just wasn't working hard enough to make her a good sleeper. </p> <p>For me I've realized parenting is a relationship and it needs to be working for both parties. So I just decided to go with the short naps and if she woke from a nap screaming, I'd try to pat her to sleep to extend and maybe I'd hold her for one nap a day just to help her get more sleep. And I did that for about two months. </p> <p>And now she sometimes decides to nap longer. She still mostly naps for 30-40 minutes but every so often she will take a 90 minute nap. And I'm doing everything the same every time! </p> <p>So I just want to say you're doing great! You obviously have so much love for your LO and just find what works for both of you. And don't get into a rut like me where you feel like a bad mommy because you can't make your baby sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370510 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 08:18:21 +0000 buttermilk 2370510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely agree with @sweetiepie: and have had a similar experience with naps. We have stuck to a routine since 5 weeks and I don't keep her awake longer than 1.75 hrs. Maybe you can try an early bedtime for a few days to catch him up on sleep and then try to be religious about sticking to a schedule. I still get 45 min naps sometimes but it seems to be related to her overtiredness if I keep her too long. I'm sorry this is so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370471 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 07:09:11 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2370471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son slept for 30 minutes on the dot. 5 times a day. Then 4 then 3 then two. It was horrible and exhausting and so frustrating. He did this until 1. With a stint around 8 months where he had two naps that would be an hour. That didn't last. </p> <p>In hindsight I wish I had tried having his room way darker from the beginning and not running to get him at the first sign he was awake. </p> <p>When we moved to one nap they got longer. I feel your pain!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370452 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 06:32:12 +0000 catomd00 2370452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: does he sleep better in the swing or stroller or being worn? If he's overtired and sleeps better in a different way than the nursery, I'd do that. I held DD for almost every nap while onager it leave and then my nanny did until about 6 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370406 Thu, 26 Nov 2015 00:03:09 +0000 SweetiePie 2370406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I also just saw that he is swaddled. A lot of babies around 3 months are over the swaddle. I know it's scary to think about changing such a big variable, but I know that for my son, when he was ready to be done with the swaddle at about 3 months we went to the Merlin and he loved it. So maybe the swaddle is bothering him at this age? When we finally took my son out of the Merlin and just into a sleep sack around 4 months it's like he was saying "I'm freeeeee" and he moved all around but his sleep didn't suffer. We had a few days of crappy naps from rolling to his belly but once he got used to that it was smooth sailing. </p> <p>Long winded way of saying, maybe try to ditch the swaddle. If sleep is already bad at this point anyway, can't hurt to try?<br /> I'm happy to send you a Merlin to try if you'd like :-) They're normally about $40 on Amazon but you can just use one of mine to see if it works and you want to buy more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370402 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 23:48:24 +0000 SweetiePie 2370402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is crazy long but infant sleep is my passion. Sorry!</p> <p>@MrsADS: My 3 month old was taking two 1.5-2 hour naps and one 45 min nap by that age. I disagree when people say that it's normal at that age to take 30 min naps. On the contrary, you can read countless reputable sources that say by 3 months they start to consolidate short naps into a few longer naps. Here is just one:</p> <p><a href="http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/baby-development-3-months" rel="nofollow">http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/baby-development-3-months</a></p> <p>I worked HARD to get his naps that length. But to be fair, I stay at home so I was able to put the time and effort in. I realize it's not as easy for everyone. But infant sleep is so important that I made it work even though I became a hermit for a few months staying in and making sure he was well rested. (I was rather ignorant about baby sleep for the first 4 weeks of his life so he became an overtired mess and I thought he was in pain or sick. But he was overtired and after I learned that, I read everything I could to stay on top of it). </p> <p>My son used a pacifier so I was able to go in over and over and keep replacing the pacifier. The shushing and patting never worked for me, it just riled him up. I would actually "hide" from him by crouching down and sticking my hand through the crib slats. He eventually, by 3 months, woke less and less and I stopped having to put in the pacifier.<br /> Yes, I lived in the nursery like you are, but it was relatively short lived and has paid off in SPADES. Ever since about 3 months I get 3-5 hours of ME time because of his naps. So yeah, sucks in the short run but is totally worth it. </p> <p>I also made sure at that age that I never ever kept him awake for more than 1.5 hours, sometimes he couldn't even last that long between naps. I learned his sleep cues and followed them to a T. </p> <p>And I tried my hardest not to rush in immediately when he cried. I waited a minute or so because more times than not he would settle himself back to sleep. So rushing in isn't always the right thing. Sometimes if he woke and didn't cry I wouldn't even go get him and he'd still fall asleep again after a half hour. </p> <p>I started really early with putting him down drowsy but awake (like, straight from the hospital!), so I rarely rocked to sleep. BUT if he was having a bad nap period (right now he is as he's trying to figure out and transition to 1 nap) I will hold him until he's asleep or asleep enough to transfer to the crib. I don't do it often or repeatedly so that it doesn't become a habit, but I will do it if the lack of napping or overtiredness gets out of hand. So he can catch up, basically. A few others said this and I agree if it's occasional to break the cycle. </p> <p>If your LO is waking from the naps and is happy in the crib, try leaving them. They may fall back asleep and if not, quiet alone time in a darkened room during nap time is better than being stimulated. It still gives them some time to unwind and regenerate and avoid stimulation. </p> <p>If there's been a day of crappy naps, you can totally try putting them to bed early. My son goes to bed around 6:30 on average. But if he skipped his afternoon nap (again, 2-to-1 transition is rough) I have no qualms putting him to bed at 5:30pm! And he will sleep sleep 13 hours. He's older, I'm not sure if yours sttn yet, but sleep specialists say that the time they go to bed has no bearing on when they will wake up at the young ages they are. In fact, if they are overtired, earlie bedtime to prevent overtiredness usually helps them sleep easier and longer, which is counterintuitive to most adults. I have multiple friends who moved bedtime earlier and got LATER wakeups!</p> <p>I helped him become an amazing napper but of course we still hit patches during developmental milestones. He'd wake early (before an hour) or refuse the nap entirely (rolling was a big one around 4 months). But it was always short lived and I tried my best to remain consistent and stick with routine. Once you break routine you can create new habits so I was careful. I also liked the schedule he was on so I tried to stick to it while still respecting the 1.5 hour awake rule. We had some days that were wacky and he ended up taking 5 shorter naps instead of 3 longer ones, but he was always going down before 1.5 hours awake so he never got supremely overtired and was fairly well rested. </p> <p>I know this is the sleep bible so you may already have it, but Dr Weissbluth's book is a godsend. It has helped me at every stage of sleep from newborn to now (14 months). </p> <p>If you feel that the short naps aren't right and are making your baby overtired and cranky, listen to your instinct. I wasn't "lucky" and my son wasn't "born a good sleeper" as some people tell me. I had to work hard at it. HARD. My husband doesn't really commend me on a lot of mom stuff because - I'm a mom, that's what I do. But the sleep thing he has noticed and he actually gets defensive on my behalf when people tell me I'm just lucky.<br /> Good luck, I know short naps and overtired babies can be super hard to handle. I'll be thinking of you. Feel free to wall me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370381 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 22:47:51 +0000 MrsSRS 2370381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second the choosing a nap to hold through to try to help with the overtiredness. Also, how about on the go napping so you aren't stuck in the nursery? Will LO nap in a baby carrier or stroller? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370374 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 22:42:59 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2370374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: My LO is 4 months and has been in the 10-12 hour range for sleep in a day since he was a newborn. Apparently we have low sleep needs ... Frustrating especially over night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370340 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 21:54:42 +0000 kitty 2370340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had success about 1/3 of the time with holding him through the 45 min jolt or patting him back to sleep, but like you said I end up next to the crib for so much of the day! I think I've decided that I'm trying to get his middle of the day sleep to be longer and his morning and afternoon naps I will relax. Baby sleep is the worst. Commiserations!<br /> I now take my kindle and read while patting him or holding his hand or watching for the jolts, but our room is not dark at all during the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370261 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:53:57 +0000 MrsADS 2370261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagny just knowing you're going through it with a 3mo and it's normal (though sucky) is very helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370193 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:15:25 +0000 Dagny 2370193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice, just wanted to say my 3 mo is exactly the same and it sounds normal as unfortunate as it is...Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370192 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:11:04 +0000 MrsADS 2370192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483 that's a good idea, actually. I may try that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370175 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:50:10 +0000 Jess1483 2370175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we were in this cycle, I chose one nap a day to hold him. Once I committed to it, it was actually a nice excuse not to accomplish things. I could usually get 2 hours on me. Other naps were short and crappy. But overall, I think it helped with overtired and still gave me time to do things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370169 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:46:08 +0000 MrsADS 2370169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@buttermilk we are TOTALLY trapped in the overtired/crap sleep vicious cycle. It sucks. I think that is part of the problem. He is ALWAYS tired and really fights going down (even if I put him down after 20 mins of being awake when I know he is tired!). Like the past 2 days, he cries hysterically - like out of control, choking and gagging he's crying so hard (and I can't calm him down, nothing works, usually nursing works but he won't even latch) - for probably 5-10 minutes before he falls asleep. It's so horrible. :crying: And yes he's swaddled.</p> <p>@meridian hope we start getting better naps at 3.5 mos, that would be awesome!</p> <p>Thanks all for your help. Been a rough couple of days. Uggh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370074 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 17:59:01 +0000 Zbug 2370074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD woukd only sleep longer than 20 min at that if she was being walked in the stroller or attached to the boob. It will get better though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370071 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 17:57:52 +0000 buttermilk 2370071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Question - Do you swaddle him? </p> <p>I find that if my 3.5 month old was hard to put down for the nap, aka overtired that she doesn't transition to the second sleep cycle and wakes up after 45 mins. But if she is well rested she will sleep for 1.5 hrs. So it could just be that you've gotten into a vicious cycle of overtiredness &amp; crap sleep. But I'm not sure what the solution is! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2370064 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 17:47:40 +0000 Meridian 2370064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I totally remember those days, feeling trapped in the nursery and spending 80% of your day/night trying to get your baby to SLEEP!! Mine was a terrible napper until about 3.5 months and then all of a sudden started taking 2 - 3 hour naps in the AM in his crib (afternoon naps were a crapshoot, I usually would have to hold him, we could only count on the morning nap). He didn't start STTN until about 7.5 - 8 months. But man oh man, those early days were brutal... just hang in there a bit longer!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369838 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 15:13:18 +0000 fussygal 2369838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD was an epic short napper until 6-7 months when she settled into 3 solid naps around an hour (sometimes a bit more). I wish it wasn't developmental, but I totally think it is. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369825 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 15:09:04 +0000 MrsADS 2369825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Noooo you are not telling me what I want to hear! :crying: Well, I guess it's normal at least.</p> <p>@Madison43 yes this. I seriously feel like I am going crazy because I feel like I spend all day in the nursery, with the blackout shades drawn and the sound machine going, trying to get him to sleep... he sleeps 20-30 mins and I barely have time to eat, pee, maybe throw in some laundry and I'm back to it again. Sometimes he wakes up happy, more often he is grumpy and just gets crankier as the day goes on. He just looks so tired to me! Can a baby have bags under their eyes? He looks like that. He's not STTN so it's not like he's getting a huge 12 or 13 hour chunk of night sleep. Aren't 3 month olds supposed to be getting 15-16 hrs of sleep a day? We're not even CLOSE to that. I feel like he'd be a lot happier if he was better rested. Don't know what else I can do, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369685 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 13:43:16 +0000 Banana330 2369685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dd is 7 months and has been doing 23-30 min morning naps then 40ish min afternoon lately. We have had periods in the past where she will sleep for 1.5 hrs and she can go longer at night. I've tried the wake to sleep method with varied success and sometimes she can fuss and put herself back to sleep but usually once she wakes up she wakes up. </p> <p>It's totally frustrating! My friends baby was having these amazing 2-3hr naps at 3 months and mine was having no longer than 40 min! But every baby is different and sometimes it's ok to have 5 naps a day! (which we do when we have particularly bad naps and our wake times decrease a bit). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369675 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 13:36:44 +0000 Madison43 2369675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: at that age, I spent more time trying to get LO to nap than she actually slept and it made me absolutely nutty. She was miserable also, so although it's normal, it still sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369670 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 13:32:53 +0000 Mamasig 2369670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 had short naps until about 9 months. Nothing to do but wait it out. But he did wake up happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369647 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 13:22:17 +0000 MrsADS 2369647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Catomd00 @Jess1483 @BabyTsMom Thanks ladies. I just wonder if it's developmental/normal, why is he so miserable? I mean, we get stuck in this vicious cycle... he's so freaking exhausted by the afternoon that after 10-20 mins of awake time he's crying, rubbing his eyes, but because he's so overtired, he won't fall asleep and by then he's bawling before he finally passes out... only to wake up 30 mins later?! I mean, it sucks. He's really unhappy. I just can't imagine this being the norm but maybe it is? Ugh. </p> <p>Speaking of, he's waking up now... he was down for about 28 minutes. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369565 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 12:52:05 +0000 BabyTsMom 2369565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice here. From 8 weeks-4/5 months, I was holding LO for every single nap. It was the only way I could get him to sleep. He would wake up immediately every time I tried to put him down. He eventually grew out of it once he was<br /> I would say either just deal with the short naps or try to see if holding him will help him to sleep longer.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369558 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 12:50:02 +0000 Jess1483 2369558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only thing that ever helped DS1 was swing napping. And it definitely only helped sometimes. I'm in the "it's developmental" camp. I wish I'd rolled with it instead of letting it stress me out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/troubleshoot-my-3mo-short-naps#post-2369556 Wed, 25 Nov 2015 12:49:50 +0000 catomd00 2369556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>45 mins is considered a long nap at this age. They'll naturally get longer around 6-7 months.. </p>