https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 08:45:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2518030 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 08:41:20 +0000 .twist. 2518030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: Bitter is an understatement! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517976 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 07:56:50 +0000 Synchronicity 2517976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crystal: :heart: </p> <p>@Mrs. Oatmeal: Ha! T in the car after church last week... "Do they have the cutest kids of all time?" </p> <p>@looch: I 100% agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517954 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 07:45:20 +0000 looch 2517954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that these comments are more about the person that is saying them as opposed to the person that is hearing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517924 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 07:25:35 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2517924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: so many people said this to us. Even now that we have kids, when K is throwing a tantrum or something, I always hear the "oh, just you wait until..."</p> <p>FWIW, I think you should probably have kids like, tomorrow 😉😉 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517913 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 07:05:42 +0000 Eko 2517913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: yup that too! Especially when it's someone who is a parent talking to someone who isn't. People are cruel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517856 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 00:16:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2517856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eko: agreed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517853 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 00:05:34 +0000 Crystal 2517853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar to @DesertDreams88, this just isn't funny. I've had two losses and have faced infertility for the last 3 years, and I've heard this more times than I can count. It's hurtful and unhelpful, similar to the "when will you have kids?" question. You just never know what people are going through, so I think it's best to just avoid these sentiments entirely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517818 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 22:29:24 +0000 Foodnerd81 2517818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's equally as thoughtless and rude as telling people they *have* to have kids or that they should do it soon! You never know what someone is going through. But I assume most of those people are just having a rough time and trying to make light of it. I've actually heard DH say it to friends when we are having a rough patch- in fact I'm sure he told his friend not to have a second, since we've been having a rough transition, and then we found out his wife is pregnant again. Oops. </p> <p>Also my brother totally told me I should wait a while and get lots of traveling in before we had kids- I know it was because his son came a little sooner than expected and he and his wife didn't get to do some things they had planned- but I was secretly 8 weeks pregnant at the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517764 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 20:52:56 +0000 Synchronicity 2517764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know most people don't really mean it when they come out with stuff like this, but man, comments like that can get old pretty quickly! Just so everyone knows, I am definitely not taking them seriously. I do have a sense of humor, I just don't find these comments funny. </p> <p>@PinkElephant: She really doesn't sound like she is joking. In her case specifically, she literally brings it up all. the. time. At least a couple times a week. "Don't have kids, it is overrated. Just travel, spend your money on yourself, enjoy your husband!"</p> <p>@Eko: The only thing I'm learning is that some people have zero filter ;) </p> <p>@catomd00: Thank you!!</p> <p>@DesertDreams88: That's just it, right? People make these comments and often have NO idea what the person they are speaking to is going through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517726 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 20:25:56 +0000 catomd00 2517726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never! I can't stand people who say stuff like that and I'd shut it down real quick. Just because you're miserable with having kids doesn't mean anyone else will be! My mom "just you wait"'s me all the time and she's never been right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517702 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 20:09:00 +0000 Eko 2517702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The absolute #1 thing about becoming and being a parent is you will get sooo much unwanted advice and comments. I would take this opportunity as a learning experience because there will be plenty more of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517482 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 15:06:14 +0000 PinkElephant 2517482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder if this is the counter-response to people finally figuring out it's not nice to pressure others about when they're having kids...and subsequently ending up at the other (equally not nice) extreme?!</p> <p>@Synchronicity: In the case of your coworker, she was probably just trying to be funny. I understand why you might not find it funny, but I'm sure I've (jokingly) said things to the effect of "Want to borrow them for the weekend and see if you still think so?" to people cooing over how cute my kids are at a time we've been having a bad week. I'd like to think i've only made silly comments to people who are close enough to me to get it and share my sense of humor...but I don't know. I'd never combine my joking with advice not to have kids, though! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517459 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:50:49 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2517459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think these comments are meant as seriously as people without kids tend to take them. I'm sure they'll still be excited for you when you're pregnant! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517402 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 14:01:32 +0000 blackbird 2517402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents always discouraged me from having kids any time soon (awhile ago). To wait and experience life and yadda yadda. It got old, FAST </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517372 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 13:46:01 +0000 DesertDreams88 2517372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I heard this a lot half-jokingly. Since i have loss and fertility issues, I really don't have a sense of humor about it. I usually counter with a very serious face and ask them, "What, you don't like your kids?" And then they of course reply "oh, no, I love my kids, they're just hard." To which I usually respond "yeah, parenting can be hard often, but again, do you wish you never had them?" Then they usually get the message... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517349 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 13:33:01 +0000 deerylou 2517349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. But I don't think I'm close with anyone who openly and deeply regrets parenthood. However, I have definitely gotten a few comments about waiting until DD is much older before having a second. I have a good friend who is only half jokingly making me promise to rethink our plan to add another while our first is still young. While she adores both of her kids, she claims having a preschooler and newborn is a living nightmare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517344 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 13:31:33 +0000 Raindrop 2517344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few months ago... maybe a year ago... I just got back at work and looked like a zombie! One of my guy coworkers asked me how having a newborn was like and I said "HARD!" He laughed and he asked so I shouldn't have kids. I said no that's not what I mean at all! Haha. I had a chance to explain that yes it's hard but I love it. It's not for everyone though but I would never discourage anyone from having kids. They are great!</p> <p>I'm glad he asked. I mean he could have walked away with thinking I was telling him not to have kids.</p> <p>I wonder if you had those types of experiences? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517336 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 13:25:21 +0000 PawPrints 2517336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My gut reaction is to wonder how or why someone would ever say that. But I do recall at some point early in my second trimester, a younger coworker asked how pregnancy was going and I think I said "It's a disaster, never do it." But I was going on 16+ weeks of nausea and crippling fatigue...</p> <p>I think if I ever heard someone actually tell another person to never have kids, I would just feel sympathy for how tough that person's life must be. (And/or their kids' lives.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517049 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:36:02 +0000 wrkbrk 2517049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: IKR? Like, thanks mom and dad ... you wish you didnt have me ... eye roll. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517044 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:34:18 +0000 Synchronicity 2517044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: From your parents? That is not cool. The "just you wait" comments just make me roll my eyes. </p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: You're right, it's not at all funny. It's obnoxious and annoying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517039 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:31:36 +0000 Synchronicity 2517039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eieio: I can't wait to have kids! And I do have some idea of what I'm in for (I was a FT nanny for 2 years), so it's not like I have expectations of sunshine and rainbows all the time. </p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Rude and nosy, exactly. </p> <p>@NCSUchick27: @Mrsbells: I get that they might be having issues with their own kids, but projecting that onto someone who is planning on having kids soon (despite their lovely advice) is super unnecessary. </p> <p>@.twist.: Bitter much? Lol! Glad you didn't take their advice, L is too cute to not exist.</p> <p>@Ajsmommy: I did ask one coworker, "but you wouldn't trade them for the world, right?" when she was complaining about her teenager / telling me not to do it, and she responded, "honestly, I might trade them for a whole lot less!". OK then! Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517038 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:30:42 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2517038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even if people are joking it's not funny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517034 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:28:59 +0000 wrkbrk 2517034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Synchronicity: Yes, from my own parents! Ugh. Also, I have gotten a lot of the smirky "just wait" comments now that we have an infant ... as in, sure, it's easy now, but just wait ... makes me want to pull my eyelashes out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517009 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:19:43 +0000 Ajsmommy 2517009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd retaliate right back and ask them, "really? I know you had a bad night/sick kid/discipline problem but would you really trade your kid?" If they are being nosy and rude put it right back at them and put them on the spot... then I bet they'll all just say they are joking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2517003 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:19:00 +0000 .twist. 2517003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I had someone tell me not to get married or have kids because I would end up divorced and broke. LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2516998 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:14:43 +0000 Mrsbells 2516998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My guess is they are trying to be funny/sarcastic, this is especially the case with parents of teens dealing with all the moodyness but they love their kids I'm sure and wouldnt trade it for the world </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2516930 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 09:28:32 +0000 NCSUchick27 2516930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had several coworkers, including my boss, tell me "Don't have kids!" I don't think it's a big deal, and I don't take them seriously. The comment usually comes after they have had a rough night, sick kid, or disciplinary problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2516926 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 09:27:43 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2516926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I heard this from people too. It usually came after someone asking how long I had been married and if we were planning to have a family. All of it is just rude &amp; nosy.</p> <p>Having children is a personal choice and doesn't concern anyone else other than the two people that choose to make a baby. I don't understand why people offer unsolicited and mean spirited advice as if they're experience should be gospel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2516923 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 09:27:07 +0000 Eieio 2516923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, people always said that! And then guess what???? Having kids has been my greatest blessing in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trust-me-dont-have-kids#post-2516921 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 09:25:39 +0000 Synchronicity 2516921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dragonsword: I don't take it personally at all, but I still think it's a dumb comment to make to someone who is planning on having a kid in the near future, and most of these people know that. </p> <p>@LAZB: @snowjewelz: Right!? What if I were already pregnant and just hadn't told anyone yet? </p>