https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 15:17:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092157 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 22:03:21 +0000 jedeve 2092157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my babies were slow gainers. Lo2 took almost 3 weeks to reach his birth weight. I had trouble with my supply because he was nursing so little. I started drinking Mother's Milk Tea, eating oatmeal, drinking lots, and pumping. My supply did come back and he chunked up. </p> <p>Are you pumping after feeds? If so, that is a lot to get! My norm when I pumped at work was about 4oz. </p> <p>Also, some babies just fuss at the breast. My guy hates my slow let down, so I let him nurse for a few seconds, give him his paci, wait for my milk to come down, and then I pop him back on. Not suggesting that, just saying some babies are really fussy at the breast and it doesn't necessarily mean low supply. he also doesn't like to nurse to sleep. So he screams after nursing because he is tired, but doesn't want to nurse to sleep. Baby fussing could be because she is still hungry, it could also just be baby being baby. </p> <p>If your LO is getting enough wet diapers and gaining weight, she is doing fine. It can be really hard to let go of that worry though. And to be honest, I think weeks 6 and 7 are the hardest of having a newborn. Sleep deprivation makes everything 1000 times worse. It will get better really soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092153 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 21:57:43 +0000 Trailmix 2092153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're so upset about this!</p> <p>Personally, I don't think formula is 'awful', I actually elected to give my twins formula at times over BM just bc it's easier (and I thought it might help them sleep better at night, which it did not). But I am confident that a mix of BM and formula still gives your baby all the benefits and no negatives whatsoever :)<br /> Also, as others mentioned, I didn't get a full supply up and running until about 10-12 weeks. I think you can definitely keep breastfeeding and then supplement where you have to now and you might be able to ditch the formula after a few more weeks!<br /> Have you tried to boost your supply? What worked for me was a daily regimen of oatmeal, wheat beer, fenugreek and blessed thistle capsules.<br /> Hang in there, this is a tough period even without feeding issues, you can keep breastfeeding if you want to! It's ok to give formula and BM! It's all good, your child will be healthy and happy no matter what you end up doing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092147 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 21:50:23 +0000 lulibee 2092147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're doing great so far...7 weeks may sound like a little at first, but it's a long time, especially when you feel like you're struggling! If you really want to stick to it, do what you can, and then supplement until you can exclusively BF/pump.</p> <p>As for formula...it's not horrible...it's not even bad. Who is telling people these things? Do you think your child is the first child ever to have to take in formula? No, millions and millions of us had formula as children and we are completely fine. I promise.</p> <p>I understand. With my first, I wanted to just breastfeed/pump. I lasted like 6/7 weeks. I couldn't do it. It was heartbreaking, but after going back and forth, I decided with my husband's support that we would switch to formula.</p> <p>Best. Decision. Ever. </p> <p>Whatever you choose, your baby will grow happy, healthy, and smart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092117 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 21:19:06 +0000 charlotte 2092117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have already received lots of great advice and encouragement but I wanted to add our experience. We went from BF to supplementing to FF after a few months. My son had always been incredibly healthy...like one fever during his first year and first/only ear infection at age 2. He's also super smart..saying hundreds of words, all the colors, many letters... And we really could not be any more bonded. He is my little lovebug. There are many pros to BF but the points people try to make about health / IQ / bond drive me crazy because they are just statistics not reality for many people. There is NOTHING wrong with formula! </p> <p>As far as supply / pumping goes do you always use the electric or have you tried a manual, like the Lanisoh one? I used that before I got my electric and it was insane! Like I temporarily had an oversupply because it worked so well. I wanted the convenience of the double electric but it never could get as much in 20 minutes as I got in 5 with the manual. Just a thought. </p> <p>Baby will be just fine whatever ends up working out. You are a great mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092071 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 20:29:42 +0000 gingerbebe 2092071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My supply didn't establish until like 12 weeks and I went from pumping like 2-3 ounces at the absolute most to 4-5, even 6-7 in the morning. By 12 weeks I was pumping 22-ish ounces a day. Oh yeah we switched to EPing after weeks for various reasons. Anyway, we supplemented with one or two bottles of formula from early on and it's been just fine. He needed more than I could produce at the beginning because he also had weight gain issues but he's six months now and he's dropped the amount of milk he needs with solids. I can just about provide him exclusively with breastmilk now if I get up at night to pump but I still give him one bottle of formula to give myself some freedom and to freeze some. He gets 80% breastmilk and it's just fine with me. Please be kinder to yourself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092025 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 19:43:54 +0000 blackbird 2092025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just echoing what everyone else has said. Read some pro formula sites-lots of your "research" sounds heavily skewed. Sure, breast milk is great! But it isn't the end all answer. Formula isn't poison and a healthy mom and baby is the most important thing. Your kid is hungry, formula can help. It doesn't have to be one or the other-you can BF then top up with formula!!! Many moms do this. If breastfeeding works out with my next, I have no doubt he will be mixed fed </p> <p>Asking if making life easier is worth the benefits is something only you can answer for yourself. We make these decisions every day. Drive instead of walk. Pick up dinner instead of cook. Cut yourself some slack! Lord knows having an infant is hard enough.</p> <p>PS I tried to find the Magic number of "how much breastmilk gives benefits" versus the catch all of "any". Somewhere, I came up with 4 oz. Maybe because not all the vitamins and minerals and good stuff is absorbed, but much is water soluble and secreted. I don't know, but when my supply was not even a bottle a day....meh. Mama needed her sanity in my house </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2092018 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 19:36:48 +0000 twodoghouse 2092018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn't always a popular option, but I wanted to let you know that it is possible to formula feed and continue with a breastfeeding relationship. I've managed to nurse my twins for ten months so far and have FF since day 4. I have low supply and two children to feed. My children have thrived on formula (they were too small for the charts when they were born and now are in the 20s and 30s percentile). My body alone could not have sustained the weight gain they needed. Formula has not had any negative health effects and has not ruined our breastfeeding relationship either. In fact, they much prefer nursing to bottles. Whatever you decide, I know it's with your DD's best interest in mind, but don't forget to cut yourself some slack. You're doig a great job mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091949 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:55:05 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2091949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Peasinapod: good point! I forgot to mention that she lost too much weight the first week after birth. She was more than 10% under her birth weight and wasn't latching properly (most likely due to her tongue &amp; lip ties). So, her doc and my LC recommending supplementing. And yes, she does like to nurse A LOT! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091944 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:49:51 +0000 Peasinapod 2091944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: what initially led you to beleive you weren't producing enough? I ask because I have a very high needs baby who constantly wanted to nurse. My mil tried to get me to supplement but I went with just nursing all the time. I'm not sure if my supply was initially low and constant nursing helped, or if she was just a high needs baby and nursing helped calm her but either way she seemed to grow out of it. (Although she still nurses more often than other babies at 5 months).</p> <p>Unless she's having weight gain issues you might have a similar situation on your hands. And I know it's said pumping is not an accurate reflection of your supply since babies are much better at getting milk then the pump is! </p> <p>In the end though there is nothing wrong with formula, and if you are stressed out by all of the feeding issues you should not feel guilty for using formula! As long as your babies happy and fed it doesn't matter how you got there :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091933 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:38:24 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2091933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so very much! This makes me feel a lot better. Yes, I have been seeing an LC. But, things have only slightly improved with her help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091454 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:28:33 +0000 birdofafeather 2091454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! You're doing a great job. I second PP to work with an LC if you're not already, give yourself grace and formula is absolutely not poison! It's a great resource when mamas need it! My gf BF and FF for 9 months so just because you supplement doesn't mean your BFing relationship is done! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091436 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:14:29 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2091436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to make sure you had seen some of the good information here. Even a bit of BM give you a lot of the touted benefits. </p> <p><a href="http://kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/weaning-partial/" rel="nofollow">http://kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/weaning-partial/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091425 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:06:43 +0000 MrsRcCar 2091425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First big hugs momma. :heart: Like a lot of mommas have said before formula is not poison, not even close. You have already given your baby some many benefits of your breast milk!! If you are looking for ways to improve your supply I would recommend contacting a LC. Also things that work for me is lots of oatmeal with flax seed and Gatorade. Remember whatever happens happy momma and happy baby are important equally. :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091409 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:01:24 +0000 cookiemomster 2091409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Formula is not just "not the devil". It's a safe, nutritious alternative to breast milk that a lot of people have to use exclusively or to supplement. My daughter would have starved to death if formula wasn't an option, and she is a perfectly happy and healthy baby because of it. It's beyond frustrating that so many pro-breastfeeding groups can make a person trying as hard as you are feel this much guilty. Do what you need to do to feed your baby. Plain and simple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091369 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:48:00 +0000 Greentea 2091369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are doing a great job! Any amount of breast milk is a good amount. I increased my supply by extra pumping and eating extra calories. Don't worry, this isn't black and white. Any amount is good, and baby eating is good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091363 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:47:04 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Go easy on yourself, formula is not poison, the research you are reading are from very pro-breastfeeding sites I'm sure. talk to your doctor, look at neutral sites, because my daughter ended up being formula fed and she's excelling and so smart/advanced. I don't regret switching to formula at all, and if I have to do it again for this baby I will. Baby needs to be fed and that's what is most important. Hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091358 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:44:39 +0000 Grace 2091358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to stop looking at it from the angle of breastfeeding=good, formula=bad. There are bonuses to each method of feeding and both of them are good nutritious sources of food for babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091347 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:39:10 +0000 psw27 2091347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only echo what the other posters have written, but I agree wholeheartedly - you are a good mama, you're doing the very best you can and even if you do have to supplement, you are still an awesome mama! Be kind to yourself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091345 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:36:47 +0000 Mrs. Coral 2091345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ohh mama! Formula is not the devil and your babe will be okay if that's the route you choose. I was formula fed and (in my humble opinion) have excelled in life. Stop Google-ing--breastfeeding diehards will drive you insane. At the end of the day, you need a happy babe and a happy mama. Babe knows when mama is stressed out and unhappy.</p> <p>You don't need to make a choice between breast and formula. You can nurse when you can and supplement with formula, even when it's mostly formula and supplementing with breast. </p> <p>Be easy and forgiving with yourself. Beating yourself up won't be helpful! Be flexible and allow yourself to use formula if need be. Thinking of you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091287 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:18:34 +0000 nana87 2091287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It broke my heart to have to start supplementing around 2 months, but dd wasn't gaining enough weight, and in retrospect, I love supplementing--it takes so much of the pressure off in my experience. From my understanding of what I've read and what my pediatrician said, the benefit of breast milk, particularly in providing antibodies, is from any amount of breast milk, not exclusively ebf. </p> <p>Are you pumping after feedings? Or are you pumping to replace a feeding? THat makes a difference in terms of how much milk you'll be getting. And I regularly only get small amounts--today I got 4 oz total during my pump while dd is at daycare, but typically I get 3 oz in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. (And if she's taking a bottle, she regularly only drinks 3-5 oz at a time anyway.) Pumping after a feed can help boost your supply, but it's a pain if your baby is awake. </p> <p>Whatever you do, you're feeding your baby and that's all that matters :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091285 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:17:41 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2091285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're doing a great job! I had some similar issues, and the fussiness turned out to be reflux. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091284 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:17:27 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2091284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( Please go easier on yourself! You have given your baby immense health benefits in the nearly 2 months you've nursed her already. Formula is not bad, not at all. The only things that matter are that baby is fed and mama is happy. I understand the desire to EBF, but don't beat yourself up over supplementing with or switching to formula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091279 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:14:09 +0000 mrsrain 2091279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, HUGS! You are doing a great job, mama!</p> <p>I could have written a very similar post when I first began breastfeeding. My daughter lost too much weight too quickly after birth, and we had to supplement with formula. I felt SO MUCH guilt over that, especially because if you do any googling you come across the most guilt-inducing opinions from fellow mothers!</p> <p>So, first of all, NO GOOGLING. It doesn't matter what you are researching, you WILL find negative, judgmental comments from people on the other side of the issue. That doesn't help anyone.</p> <p>Second of all, there is no rule that says you have to choose between breastfeeding and formula feeding. I know how important it is to you to provide the health-benefits of breastfeeding, and the great news is that you are doing that! Supplementing with formula does not take away from what you are giving your baby through breastmilk. As for formula, it has some great benefits, too. It gives you the benefit of flexibility, of knowing that your baby is full, and decreasing your stress over how much she is eating.</p> <p>For what it's worth, I was feeding my daughter about 50% formula in the beginning, and over time things have improved and I have been able to transition to breastfeeding most of the time. I think confidence has made a big difference. I pump once a day (right before bed), and I only get between 1 and 3 ounces each time. My husband gives the pumped milk to my daughter when it is his turn to feed her (we switch off mornings) and when there isn't quite enough he gives her formula. My daughter is 9 months old, and about as healthy as they come! She was just sick for the first time ever... pretty good for 9 months old!</p> <p>I know how hard it is to feel like you are compromising on something that is important to you, but I am a big proponent of doing what is best for you and baby... sometimes that means doing what is best your own mental health. Feel free to PM me if you have questions or need support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091253 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:06:16 +0000 Applesandbananas 2091253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: you're doing a great job! You're feeding your baby and that's what matters. Formula is safe and provides the proper nutrition for your LO, don't feel like you might be harming her by giving her formula!</p> <p>I struggled a lot with breastfeeding and at one point, I would give LO 2oz of pumped milk or formula then nurse, because he'd be way too pissed to even latch first. Maybe try offering a bottle, then topping her off? If you go this route, you'll want to pump after nursing to keep up your supply.</p> <p>Have you looked into how to increase supply? There are a lot of great options out there!</p> <p>Hang in there!</p> <p>ETA We also had his tongue tie revised and it wasn't an instant fix. I believe it took 2-3 weeks for him to adjust. It took us nearly 11 weeks to get to the point of ebf. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091252 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:06:00 +0000 snowjewelz 2091252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have been doing a great job, doing this for 7 weeks already!! Have you met with a lactation consultant to pinpoint what the issue is, now that her tongue/lip ties are supposedly fixed? I'm wondering if she fusses b/c you have a fast letdown? Low supply? Bad latch? </p> <p>Also when do you pump? When I pump after feedings randomly, I used to not get much either. And what you get from pumping is not an indication of how much your baby is drinking! </p> <p>Do not feel bad that you have to give formula! Breast milk is great but formula is not evil! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091246 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:03:51 +0000 brownie 2091246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I assume you are working with an LC for some of this. If you aren't that would be a great place for support. You are still in the trenches of breastfeeding but it should start to turn soon. Fussing may be a number of things including tongue tie, reflux, milk intolerance, other food intolerance, over supply, under supply the list goes on. So you may want to investigate them (an LC helps with those). It can also be that the baby just has a very high suck demand.</p> <p>Remember, that the baby has a very very very tiny tummy. So even though you get 1.5 oz, that is likely most of what she is eating. Breastfeeding is different than formula in that the calories change (gets fattier etc) as your child needs it. Formula you must have more oz to get more calories.</p> <p>For the working thing... La Leche recommends 1 to 1 1/2 (I believe off the top of my head may be 1 1/2 - 2) oz of breastmilk per hour you are gone. </p> <p>Now, formula is not in any way the devil and it won't kill your kid. It is sometimes the only way that some kids can be fed (adoption, food intolerance). So don't worry there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091241 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:01:42 +0000 avivoca 2091241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not. Formula is not poison and it's not bad for your baby. I fought tooth and nail from 8-12 months to provide exclusive breastmilk, and looking back, I wish that I had just given formula.</p> <p>Supplementing is not a bad thing. EFF is not a bad thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091236 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 11:59:24 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2091236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, it sounds like you've put a lot of effort into BFing! Great job! </p> <p>Most importantly, the formula will not negatively affect her health. </p> <p>I would set a few small realistic goals. Try to just nurse twice a day and pump once a day. Just see how that goes. Anything extra let it be celebrated. </p> <p>Also, are you pumping to replace a feeding or in addition to nursing? If you are pumping after you nurse, 1.5 ounces is not bad at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-give-up#post-2091227 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 11:55:52 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2091227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am feeling so very defeated after 7 weeks of breastfeeding. Baby never seems satisfied after nursing and pumping has not given me the results we need for when I go back to work. I've been so very depressed about it. I do not want to switch to formula. It's something I told myself I'd NEVER do. We've been having to supplement with it and even that breaks my heart. All the research says how amazing breast milk is and how awful formula is. The guilt is overwhelming. I told myself I would NEVER give up on breastfeeding, but now I'm feeling like maybe the immense stress of it is overpowering the benefits. I'm constantly depressed when she fusses at the breast, or I pump for 30 minutes and get less than an ounce. </p> <p>To make matters even worse, she had a lip and tongue tie that we had corrected a little over a week ago. I thought FOR SURE this would magically make all of our issues go away. No such luck. Things haven't improved. I know she's getting more milk when she nurses because I can hear her gulping and swallowing a lot. But, she still does not seem satisfied and she fusses and cries at the breast. </p> <p>When I pump, the most I can get is about 3.5 total ounces, but that's very rare. Usually I get 1.5 ounces or less. </p> <p>This post is getting very long. My apologies. I just feel so confused. I feel like formula would make life SO MUCH EASIER, but is making life easier worth giving up all the health benefits of breast feeding? If I continue to nurse her, but leave formula for my husband while I'm away, will that still negatively affect her health? </p> <p>Note: I'm a wedding photographer, so my work schedule is weekends only. Usually one wedding per weekend, sometimes up to 3. </p>